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Ramblings 3

Iamwhoiamwhoami December 31st, 2023

Nothing new, same issues . I miss the people here. I have been really struggling the last few months. I have been really trying and it seems like I am going back instead of forward.

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Iamwhoiamwhoami OP October 1st

I have an idea for a new title for another branch of my ramblings. If it is decided that another branch is the best path going forward.

“Tiny Iam ramblings” , where as always anyone is welcome here but that would be where Tiny and I would move our messages to. I would try and do my regular ramblings here.

@Tinywhisper11 And. @mytwistedsoul @BlueDarkAurora and there are others that unfortunately I can’t remember their full names, can voice there thoughts on this if they want to.

8 replies
mytwistedsoul October 1st

@Iamwhoiamwhoami That's entirely up to you and Tiny Iam. I don't read everything between you and Tiny. I read your posts of course and maybe the second one, depending on what is said after that I might tune it out. 

7 replies
Iamwhoiamwhoami OP October 1st

@mytwistedsoul

Thank you for chiming in. But we all share this space. It doesn’t matter that I started it, the rest of you joined in and as far as I am concerned, Anyone who comes here in peace and kindness has planted their seed here forever more. They have become part of this space as well as I am. A big part of it for me is respecting each and everyone of you that choose to come here and while keeping the completely open and honest heart of my writings in full, being conscious of everyone else’s thoughts and feelings so that they are not excluded from reading my writings by my being inconsiderate of their feelings. Trying to adapt as much as I can in order to keep it heading the way it has been, so I can continue to learn and grow from all of you. And everyone be comfortable here always. ❤️

Helgafy October 1st

@mytwistedsoul

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

I'm really making a soup here!!!!! Iam - just let it be as it is. Don't think of it. It was very stupid of me even to talk about it. I'm sorry for disturbing you in your thoughts. 7Cups shall be a restful and fine place to stay. I can do it like this; Just reading your thread maybe 2 times pr. week. Then I can manage the oneness between you and Tiny. Maybe later, when I get used to it I'll be better in just not reading it. It is not so easy to explain everything when it is online, and I have already made a big thing of this (a piece of cake only). If you 2 were guests in my house I would let you have your own room to talk about all your love - the other guests and I could be in the livingroom discussing what x-president Trump said lately. OK. OK. I could write 2 books about this it seems like. The easiest for us would be that I went to another thread fto write with someone else, but you didn't want me to. Everything is fine. Must the peace from Jesus Christ cover your body and mind today. And - I'm very glad you have so much love - that's a positive feeling and the highest quality of all. - I was thinking - as I just started to watch YouTube. Maybe it's good for you - songs, funny stuff etc. You'll get many impulses.

5 replies
Iamwhoiamwhoami OP October 1st

@Helgafy

You have been honest and open with me about your feelings and I am very willing thankful and appreciative of you for doing so. I truly understand your feelings and I’m am very willing to work with you to make sure that you are more comfortable and at ease reading my writings here. You have nothing to feel sorry for. I would prefer you are honest with me and

4 replies
Iamwhoiamwhoami OP October 1st

@Helgafy

Sorry for that my fumble fingers accidentally posted this before I finished….

I would prefer you are honest with me and we figure out a way to find a way to make the situation better for all.

Thank you for being you, please believe me that I appreciate and will always respect and support you as best I can.

Helgafy October 1st

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

Thank you so much sweet Iam. Maybe it's because I'm an old lady, old as Methusalem (lol)!!! (Do you think maybe I'm too old for 7Cups?).

2 replies
Tinywhisper11 October 1st

@Helgafy noooooo! There's no such thing as to old for anything!!!! Except maybe touching your toes whilst stood up😂😂

Iamwhoiamwhoami OP October 1st

@Helgafy

You are most definitely not too old for 7cups! You are a very good friend of mine as well as being a good friend to many others here. I never want to lose you or your friendship here. You are a wonderful part of this community and I am blessed to have you as my friend.

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Iamwhoiamwhoami OP October 1st

Xxx

@Tinywhisper11

Thinking of you as always. ❤️

6 replies
Helgafy October 1st

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

Thank you for the 3 XXX. My consious is black. Please go back to write the "loveletters" to Tiny again. I'm so! sorry for interfering. Who am I to hinder you in being you! And this is yours thread - not mine. Please be happy.

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Tinywhisper11 October 1st

@Helgafy no you were right to express your feelings, part of friendship is being honest, so thank you for that ❤❤hugs you tightly ❤❤

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Helgafy October 1st

@Tinywhisper11

Sweetest thing Tiny.

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Tinywhisper11 October 1st

@Iamwhoiamwhoami XXX   hey you need this post, not for selfish reasons but for medical reasons ❤ if you forget to put XXx on your messages to me, I will try send a message directly underneath with XXX ❤ we are good friends, who are honest with each other and can trust each other, that doesn't need to stop. To me you are a hero, imprisoned in your own mind, I want to help you, and be there for you, just like you are for me ❤ nothing will break our friendship ❤

2 replies
Iamwhoiamwhoami OP October 1st

@Tinywhisper11

Thank you, I want this place that you all have joined together and fertilized with your love, kindness, compassion, strength and support to be a place where everyone is as comfortable as possible to read and write here .

My writings of ramblings have mainly been started with the idea that nobody would ever really read them. But you all have continued to come back here and write to me and each other with love being at the core of every word.

If Helgafy or any one of you is uncomfortable with something here we should be able to help with that somehow.

I am not saying anything about stopping, just maybe splitting the writings up . But I am also only one person here, I respect the collective thoughts of all to decide what the best path would be here❤️❤️

1 reply
Helgafy October 1st

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

It's your thread - you set the rules! No democraty here - lol.

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Tinywhisper11 October 1st

@Iamwhoiamwhoami @Helgafy just one little thing can we not call them love letters please. Only I have strong feelings about love and dating, I don't ever want to date anyone ever, I hate sex noones gonna get that close to me. I'm never gonna fall in love. Except I do love my friends and chosen family ❤ but nothing any further

8 replies
Helgafy October 1st

@Tinywhisper11

I understand, I understand, I understand. Thank you God for giving us words to explain our feelings. I'm sorry Tiny - as you know I never lived my life "in your shoes."


1 reply
Tinywhisper11 October 1st

@Helgafy I know ❤ but yes talking and expressing thoughts is how we get closer as friends ❤

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Iamwhoiamwhoami OP October 1st

@Tinywhisper11

I was trying not to talk about that part of the discussion, however since you mentioned it I will add my thoughts on it as well.

I think I have mentioned this in my previous writings but I will add it here again, I am not relationship material. I have a history of failed relationships, marriage and friendships included. I don’t remember love in any relationship including family, friends or marriage. I’m learning how to love my friends here from all of you. I am also learning how to express my love towards each of you in a way that is acceptable and respectful and proper.

You mention falling in love, I am familiar with the concept not the feelings that go with it. I have no desire for anything more than close and true friendship where open and genuine honesty and love is at the core of every single friendship.

You mention sex, And that is something that I have no desire for. Besides I am too old, fat and ugly for that, that scenario is not in the cards for me either. I have had no true desire for that for decades.

I am learning how to handle this new feeling from all of you and I don’t want to overstep boundaries because of my inexperience with this feeling and how to express it.

That being said I love you and all of my friends here.

❤️❤️❤️💕

5 replies
Tinywhisper11 October 1st

@Iamwhoiamwhoami love is not an emotion I'm to familiar with either. ❤ but I'm pretty sure I love most people. Except for the 24 people on my hitlist😈😂😂😂 only joking revenge is not something I am capable off 😁 I think I know what you might need right now....

fatcatzcouple-egg-yolk-cat.gif

1 reply
Iamwhoiamwhoami OP October 1st

@Tinywhisper11

XXX

That is definitely something I need. Thank you,❤️❤️

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Helgafy October 1st

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

Platonic love is a feeling between friends. Then we have agape, love for God. Then we have love from parents to children and of course we also have erotic/sexual love. All of them are clean in the right circumstances.

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Tinywhisper11 October 2nd

@Helgafy yeah love is a good thing, love is a good thing. I just not sure I understand it all completely ❤

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Helgafy October 2nd

@Tinywhisper11

lol - noone of us do! But the verses I quoted from the Bible another place on this thread tells a bit of pure love. But as we know - songs, poems, films - so much about love!!!!! It's the essence of God; The Bible say; God is love.


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Helgafy October 1st

Enough writing for now! - You all must have a fine day. I already had breakfast and 2 hours later coffe and an icecream with caramell and chokolate.

2 replies
Tinywhisper11 October 1st

@Helgafy you had icecream without me😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮

Iamwhoiamwhoami OP October 1st

@Helgafy

And you have a fine blessed day yourself. Thank you.

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Tinywhisper11 October 1st

@Iamwhoiamwhoami XXX how is everything going today? Did you sleep ok? Your appointment is in 4 days, sorry to keep reminding you if that, I just want you to be prepared ❤

if your life was different, and you were healthy (and a bit younger) what career would you like to go into, knowing everything you know now?? I think I'd like to be a detective, or FBI. Just so I can help save others

3 replies
Iamwhoiamwhoami OP October 1st

@Tinywhisper11

XXX

I finally got to sleep a couple hours ago. I woke up and checked in here and have been trying to catch up on the messages here. So I don’t quite know yet how today is going yet. Thank you for the reminder, I probably should try and call my ride tonight or tomorrow night to remind them as well.

Is that career question a trick question? 🤭🤭 Knowing what I know now, that in itself changes by the second with my memory issues… I honestly don’t know…. I am such a mess with all of my issues. I don’t find pleasure in anything except conversing with my friends here.

I am not sure I am capable of giving you a completely honest answer right now because I think I need to be at a point of completely understanding and accepting myself and my mind needs to be in a lot better place for that.

I do know I would want to have started my life with this feeling of love that you all have instilled in me. I would have wanted friends like you and Helgafy and soul and amiable and bluedarkaurora and the others by my side so that I started my life with wonderful loving people around me so that the roots of the tree of my life were strong and blossoming and not poisoned with hate and despair .

Thank you and ❤️❤️ I love you ❤️❤️

2 replies
Tinywhisper11 October 1st

@Iamwhoiamwhoami XXX yeah I don't know why I asked that question I have a habit of talking before thinking😁😂 I was just thinking about it that's all. Yes check your taxi make sure their coming, and your wheelchair... pull.... The seat up😂😂😂😂😂 I'm exhausted, I think I'm trying to do so much, and it's making me feel quite ill. So I need to slow down and recover properly ❤ hopefully soon you will be in recovery stage too ❤hugs you tightly ❤ I love you ❤

1 reply
Iamwhoiamwhoami OP October 1st

@Tinywhisper11

Please don’t stop asking me any questions due to my issues. It’s those types of open and honest questions that can provide you with a little laughter by reading my response and being able to see the humor in ourselves.

❤️Embracing you as well , I love you❤️

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@iamwhoiamwhoami @helgafy

Hi everyone! Helga - thanks for tagging me again. Iam - I think I have been on this page and talked to you before somewhere, and definitely seen your writings around to remember you. I remember liking your screen name and identifying with your words many times. I hope you don’t mind me being in your space here. 

1 reply
Iamwhoiamwhoami OP October 1st

@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas

You are always welcome here as long as you are here based in kindness and not in hate. Everyone is welcome here.

I think the others here will agree, Thank you for coming to our little branch of the community.

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Tinywhisper11 October 1st

@Iamwhoiamwhoami  XXX gotta go lie down now ❤❤ hugs you tightly ❤ I'll check in on you when I wake up ❤ I love you ❤

1 reply
Iamwhoiamwhoami OP October 1st

@Tinywhisper11

XXX

Hopefully your rest is peaceful. ❤️ Enjoying your hugs , I love you too ❤️

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Iamwhoiamwhoami OP October 1st

@Helgafy @Tinywhisper11

Is it possible that we could choose something other than XXX for the warning code? I just happened to realize that in the country I live in xxx is the rating for extreme adult content in movies here. I am not really comfortable with putting anything that implies something even though we all know differently.Thank you…

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Helgafy October 1st

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

If you want to have a sign; §§§ or you choose.

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Iamwhoiamwhoami OP October 1st

@Helgafy

Ok, I will mention to Tiny, we will figure something out. What is the sign or symbols that you used.? I don’t see them on my keyboard?

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Helgafy October 1st

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

OH Maybe it is not there. With me it is before the number 1 (The sign is used in lawletters § 1. etc.). Just find something you like - a simpler one.

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Iamwhoiamwhoami OP October 1st

@Helgafy

We will figure something out . I am sure whatever we use it will be relatively easy to figure out, at least for a few of us, what purpose they serve.

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Helgafy October 1st

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

What about the letter YYY.

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Iamwhoiamwhoami OP October 1st

@Helgafy

YYY. Works for me…

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Tinywhisper11 October 2nd

@Iamwhoiamwhoami yyy is good ❤❤

1 reply
Helgafy October 2nd

@Tinywhisper11

@IamwhoIamwhoami

I have to laugh a little bit - me confusing you here - but please the both of you - express yourself as you did before the YYY. It's a democratic law we still have in our countries to express ourselves.

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Iamwhoiamwhoami OP October 1st

I am going to take a break as well, I have been struggling to keep up with the messages since I woke up and I’m a little frazzled, Focus , I can’t even say it’s fading because I don’t know if it’s had a chance to focus yet.

Iamwhoiamwhoami OP October 1st

I think I mentioned earlier that I was trying to adjust my medication to three times a day to make it a little easier and less stressful trying to remember to take them on time or close enough to time or even to take them at all.

Unfortunately, the pain really increased trying to do that . So I’m back to trying the 5 or 6 times a day taking them. I think possibly with the pain medication being taken between the times for the nerve medication helps to relieve the pain a little better.

I did finish cleaning up the tv mess and hanging the new tv on the bracket. Nearly finished me off doing so but I suppose the hardest part of that is done.

2 replies

@Iamwhoiamwhoami I hope you had a restful break and are feeling less frazzled. ❤️

1 reply
Iamwhoiamwhoami OP October 1st

@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas

A little less but , it’s just one of those days. One thing after the other. But thank you for asking.

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