Ramblings 3
Nothing new, same issues . I miss the people here. I have been really struggling the last few months. I have been really trying and it seems like I am going back instead of forward.
Helgafy has really got me thinking about this cuckoo clock that I remember from somewhere. I think it was in my grandmother’s house. I don’t have any good memories from there, but I think I remember it hanging on the wall in one of the rooms I slept in when I stayed there. I also vaguely remember it being wound down when I was there, something about how the cuckoo affected me, or something. I think they were called acorns that were on the ends of the chains.
Trigger warning for talk of getting bit by a dog.
I have talked about the strange dreams/nightmares that I have. I think I have even mentioned some of the details in them . But I don’t think I have mentioned any of the animals in them.
I remember there being many different animals that would be in the home I think was the one I was in as a child. There was an all white cat, a few different rabbits, I think multiple hamsters, and some guinea pigs, some mice , There are other animals in my dreams but these are the ones that always seemed to appear in that place. I remember multiple dogs, but I think they were the neighbors dogs. I remember now about some smaller black and white dogs, I remember bending over and petting one of them. Then it jumped up and bit me in the face. I don’t remember much of anything after that except something about being lucky I didn’t lose my eye.
But I have dogs in my dreams in many other places so I don’t think it turned me away from dogs.
I have images of pigs and cows and of me working with them, images of some horses, but only one that I really interacted with regularly, I am sure riding them was not something I did, I have a couple of images of me getting encouragement to get on a couple of them and I think I fell off pretty much as soon as they started walking. I have images of many cats as well.
I don’t know what my relationship with any of these animals was but I am sure they were a part of my past in some way or another.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami that's alot of animals. I wonder if they were all from different people in your childhood. Dogs are scary, I'm very very slowly getting used to them. That dog probably bit your cheek🙁
@Tinywhisper11 do you ever remember working, or helping out, at a farm?
@Tinywhisper11
I don’t really remember doing so but I’m sure I probably did.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami it sounds that way, maybe one day you'll remember ❤ don't push it, let theese memories come back to you, when they do ❤
@Tinywhisper11
❤️❤️❤️ were your piggies happy to see you? ❤️❤️❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami yes 😁😁 two of them was squeaking when they heard my voice, excited squeaks like when they hear a bag open and think it's good for them ❤❤ the other one he didn't squeak, but at least he woke up and came out to see what the others were squeaking about😂😂😂 they all had big cuddles ❤❤ I cried when I saw them, I didn't quite realise how much I had really missed them ❤❤ it's gonna be dry out this morning but rain here in the evening today, so I'm gonna go out and sit with my son for a bit this morning ❤ I've really really really missed him. I know I can talk to him and God anywhere, anytime. But I like to go sit by his cross in the garden. It just feels like he can hear me better, and that's our special place ❤
@Tinywhisper11
That sounds like a wonderful plan. I hope your time with him is peaceful and calming 💕💕💕 I love you, 💕💕💕
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I love you more ❤❤ I'm not sure if I've asked you, I probably have. But your appointment is in 7 days, have you booked a taxi in??
@Tinywhisper11
The same person that took me the last time is taking me again. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami ok that's good ❤ and your medication are you able to take extra like last time?
@Tinywhisper11
So far that’s the plan. ❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami ok ❤ now forget all about it for the next 6 days😁❤
@Tinywhisper11
That is as easily done as it was to write it. I have been known to forget my own name on a regular basis.❤️❤️❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami that's ok, I'll remind you ❤ your name is angel ❤
@Tinywhisper11
I would appreciate the reminder ❤️❤️❤️
You have me confused now, because your name is Sweet Angel 💕💕💕💕
@Iamwhoiamwhoami 😁 ok your name can be 🤔🤔🤔 earth angel, or my sweet little moron 😁❤
@Tinywhisper11
Moron - lol.
@Helgafy 😁😁😁
@Iamwhoiamwhoami it's only 10pm and I'm wide awake, ready for the day😁 that hospital really messed up my schedule😂😂
@Iamwhoiamwhoami being ill sucks. Other than going to work, what do you miss doing the most??
I really really miss being able to do art and crafts right now
@Tinywhisper11
Going to work was the only thing that I had. It helped distract my thoughts a little bit. I don’t have hobbies or any activities that I enjoy. When I was off work, I was so drained from the combination of the job and the internal battle in my head, that I did what I am doing now. Spending my off time bedridden. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami that's ok ❤ at least you had something to occupy your days. I've never worked, I don't know what it is like. My aim is to go exploring. I'd also like to donate my time to charity, when I get well enough ❤ they are all just dreams though ❤ but it's nice to have dreams ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Those are wonderful dreams. They actually sound like realistic goals ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami hopefully 🙂 ❤ but travelling/exploring I don't think I'll ever be in a place mentally or physically for that. But you never know, I always hold on to the hope of 'oneday' 😁❤
@Iamwhoiamwhoami you know you said arthritis tells you the weather. So you mean when it gets cold,it plays up more??
@Tinywhisper11
Yes and also when it rains. ❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami oh wow! When it rains too. You are very unique ❤❤ a couple of the older folks here have athritis🙁 so I understand how painful that is🙁 bless you. The one man here, he gets it so bad is hand can lock up for days
@Tinywhisper11
It gets really painful, and my hands do lockup a lot, but this pain that I have been experiencing with the back and legs is a lot worse. My arthritis hasn’t progressed to the point yet of hands locking up for days. ❤️❤️❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami arthritis is painful🙁 bless you
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I'm just drinking my coffee now😋 then gonna have a shower cause I'm sweaty ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Well since you’re getting caffeinated and so full of energy, take 2 showers, one for me and one for you. I haven’t had the to try it again for awhile. I am a big chicken of the pain . ❤️❤️❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami your not a chicken, being in constant pain is not easy🙁 I think your very brave🙂 I can't shower alone, I need my carers to wash me. So don't worry about it ❤❤ it's a very challenging thing to do, especially cause you gotta climb in the bath
@Iamwhoiamwhoami 2 of my pigs stay nice and clean, but one of them has longer hair, so he gets a bit dirty, their not the cleanest of animals. So I just have pig (the long haired one) a bath😁 he quite likes it ❤ the other two I bath every 3 months😁
@Tinywhisper11
That sounds like an interesting activity, ❤️❤️❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I had a shower for you, now you smell like lavender😁
