Ramblings 3
Nothing new, same issues . I miss the people here. I have been really struggling the last few months. I have been really trying and it seems like I am going back instead of forward.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami YYY when I say I hope you feel better. I mean it as when your anxiety goes up, I hope it goes down to your normal level soon ❤ maybe you have a anxiety headache, from stressful thoughts. I'm just popping on here quickly to check in on you ❤ I keep getting to dizzy to spend time here🙁 make sure you have every thing ready, I'm hugging you tightly, and always thinking about you ❤ and whatever surgery you need, we'll get through it together ok? I love you so much ❤❤ always and forever ❤
YYY
@Tinywhisper11
I apologize for that segment seemingly sounding like it was directed towards you and what your intentions were.
Thinking about what you said just triggered my thoughts about similar words coming from many other people in the “real world “ over the course of my life. It also reflects people in the “real world” saying it to other people as well.
I think the people here understand or at least try to. This community has a closer bond with everyone here. Their insight into their own issues gives them a different view on what others are experiencing. I’m starting to go off track.,my focus is really slipping.
❤️❤️ Please, take care of yourself. If it means that I worry a little bit, possibly a lot, about you. So be it. You’re a very important and special person to me. And like you said, we’ll get through it together. ❤️❤️. I’m embracing you snugly as well.❤️❤️ I love you ❤️❤️ always and forever ❤️❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami no don't worry I know you didn't direct it at me ❤ 🙂 I just had to stop and think, cause yeah it's not the best thing to say to people ❤
@Tinywhisper11
I think it is ok to say to people. It’s the meaning and intentions behind the words people say that are the important part. You and the others here know that there is more beneath the surface and when you speak words like that you are directing them towards the whole picture not just part of it. ❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I'm here for a little bit now ❤ I'm feeling ok after I just took my meds,so want to come and see if you want to talk for a while ❤
have you got everything ready for tommorow??
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I'm having one of those evenings where I'm constantly thirsty. I've drunk 3 bottles of water in the la st hour, now drinking tea 😁
@Tinywhisper11
That is where my desire to drink water went, you have it.
I have had to try and force myself to drink. It makes my stomach upset trying to drink.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I'm listening to relaxing Xmas hymns😁 and no it's not to early😁
do you have any idea what the kind of surgery is gonna be? Or what you would like it to be??
@Tinywhisper11
If that’s what you want to listen to and it makes you happy. Who am I to judge?
As far as the surgery, I’m not exactly sure. Tomorrow I should know better. I think the first surgeon said something about shaving down one of the discs. But I don’t remember what he said. I will try and remember to write it here when I can tomorrow.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami good luck for tommorow ❤ I'm holding your hand the whole time, your gonna be ok ❤ hopefully I'll be able to come and talk to you before you go ❤❤ giant hugs I love you ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Sorry for missing your messages. This headache has really been a nightmare. I will try and do better ❤️
I apologize if I have missed any of your messages and in turn not responded back. My ramblings are confusing at times even for me. Trying to scroll back through is sometimes difficult for me due to my focus issues.
I just finished a little shower. I actually lasted a short time longer this time. I think it was because of the shower chair that I think it was Twist that suggested using. If I am wrong on who it was I apologize once again. It was awkward but I think effective. Unfortunately it didn’t fit at the end of my bathtub, so it had to be about a third of the way towards the other end. But the pain level was minimal for a short while longer.
Headache is still there , I will hobble over and get some Advil shortly.
Did I have a severe headache and upset stomach before the last appointment. Stomach isn’t terrible but it doesn’t like receiving any deposits. Maybe it’s the anxiety and stress , add in the closer it’s getting to actual surgery.
My mind is making me physically ill I suppose. I know my anxieties are overwhelming most of the time anymore.
I still think surgery or possibly surgeries is the best option. I just think I am a little more, no , a lot more scared than I thought about undergoing surgery. I have been through more than my share when I was young.
My mind runs with the facts that I am not young, plus everything that happens to me anymore increases the pain and suffering I am forced to endure. My mind races to the worst scenarios and adds that to my thoughts.
I know I have my friends here that are by my side and holding my hand, and supporting me with their presence and love. They also know by now my mind tries to hide them from me when I am struggling.
Focus fading again