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A guide to Autism and Panic attacks. Open to all

sunshinegiraffe123 November 16th, 2019

Hi. I've gotten some members who ask me what happens when I have a meltdown or some that appear shy to talk to me when I'm in one. I have had listeners who refuse to talk to me because they end up getting confused. I've had mods who get very confused due to not knowing the way to interact with me. Hopefully this will help you all out! - Allie

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sunshinegiraffe123 OP November 16th, 2019

@Gracey

Gracey November 16th, 2019

I have recently started supporting Allie @sunshinegiraffe123 and we have been discussing the fact that a lot of listeners are unsure how to support someone with autism when they are having a meltdown. We have worked together to come up with some information that might help

What is Autism?

Autism is a developmental disability that is lifelong. It can affect how people perceive the world and interact with others.

What is a meltdown?

According to National Autistic Society A meltdown is ‘an intense response to overwhelming situations. It happens when someone becomes completely overwhelmed by their current situation and temporarily loses behavioural control. This loss of control can be expressed verbally (eg shouting, screaming, crying), physically (eg kicking, lashing out, biting) or in both ways.

Many autistic people will show signs of distress before having a meltdown, which is sometimes referred to as the rumble stage. They may start to exhibit signs of anxiety such as pacing, seek reassurance through repetitive questioning or physical signs such as rocking or becoming very still.

What can I do to help?

Here are some tips for when you are chatting to a member/guest with Autism who is having a panic attack or meltdown or starting to meltdown -

Dos

- Offer to send them a PM if they are in a chatroom or forum

- Stay very calm

- Be patient

- Provide a safe space for them to express their emotions

- Ask if there is anything you can do to help

- Send short messages that are easy to read

- Use familiar and repetitive language

- Remind them to take slow and deep breaths

- Reassure them that this will pass

- Reassure them that you are there for them and that they are ok

- Let them have their moment, but be there for support as sometimes they get confused

- Seek support yourself if you need it from someone who has more experience

Do nots

- Send long, hard to read messages

- Force them to open up or answer questions

- Use sarcastic language

- Be offended if they shout or become mad

- Shout at them or be annoyed with them because of their behaviour

- Threaten to report them to a mod for freaking out as this can make them worse

Any questions, feel free to comment or send me a message!

Useful links:

- National Autistic Society - Meltdowns

- National Autistic Society - What is autism?

- National Autistic Society - Communication

2 replies
reddotonblack November 17th, 2019

@Gracey

This is very helpful and structured and am grateful that someone describes it to people so we may be better understood and be together with other people...thank you for a proffessional window insight into our conditions...

sunshinegiraffe123 OP March 4th, 2021

@RoryK here.

1 reply
March 4th, 2021

thanks! i’ll send it around (:

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sunshinegiraffe123 OP March 4th, 2021

@knockoffWolf

sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 21st, 2021

Hello commods and mods,

I have spoken to a few people who have agreed with me mainly listeners, that they don't have the training to handle a meltdown or don't know how to approach someone who is on the spectrum. This is something I shoudve done a while ago, but I never did it. I'm not asking for training to be done with the listeners, I'm just asking if you guys can read and leave a message below either saying read, or with a question that I'll answer, as you all are the people listeners look up to. I hope to bring more awareness to this guide as the support plus community grows as well.

Also, a meltdown is not a crisis, Meltdowns and crisis situations are two different things. Crisis involves being asked to contact an outside source, meltdowns involve someone being there to support the person who is having a meltdown.

Tagging : ​​​​​​​@DrDonut @Andyallen @Bluelotus99 @Happy900 @Fristo @bubbles2025 @sia1325 @CommunityModElliot @CommunityModAaron @CommunityModAlex @CommunityModAnne @CommunityModJennie @CommunityModCharlie @CommunityModEllie @CommunityModMorgan @CommunityModParker @CommunityModLynn @CommunityModRobin @CommunityModSage @Richuyulin @kieran000 @jovialButterfly6752 @amiablePeace77 @LuLuRings @EmmaE @mamtasha22 @sia1325 @ASilentObserver @Gozzil @soulsings @Kara13V @gentleSun78 @azuladragon34 @caringPanda45 @Bubbles2025 @Sunisshiningandsoareyou @vivelespatates @StarlitSky4762 @AnnaTess @considerateParadise6717 @DreamTouch @KateDoskocilova @Tyedyedbutterfly65 @SuryanshSingh @Anna706 @CheeryMango @DonaldDraper @PeaceLoveandPaws @Sher217 @Isentropic @whenitsdarklookforstars @Amy @Greenchoice1 @Rhlexia520 @kindSoul10 @cuteOrange213 @LoveLilly @CompassionateDreamer8522 @AlwaysEli @Listeningsarinn @musicalHarmony @glowingHeart4796 @starryskies108 @compassionateTree4567 @blitheEmbrace27 @Asher @Mankka @Anusha @optimisticDay8079 @hopedreamlove @SummerBreeze00 @brilliantTurtle89 @CaringBrit @Mimi @pamharley003 @enchantedlove @WeedyGarden @PoliteOcean @EvelyneRose @KimsonTheSteveFundYPOC @competentParadise6344 @Jenna @RebekahRoyal @crystalclearnow @rachsxo @Lysandra @VerseArt @shiningSky3745 @7CupsCommunity @SoulfullyAButterfly @RumpleSteeleSkin @Azalea98 @Samar27 @leafycup @Erica @bouncyVoice4149 @bookworm4 @Clara139175 @rebecca947 @Ines1229 @JessHobson @MistyMagic @rhlvrma94 @River @AriJoseph @MidwesternCalmSeeker @lemonbot @Calmingmermaid5761 @LoveLilly @OliviaWilson5 @HelpfulGem04 @astro0koala240 @itssoren @DigitalKnight @kindLemonade

2 replies
azuladragon34 July 21st, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123

Read. Thanks for the post Allie.

2 replies
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 21st, 2021

@azuladragon34
Your welcome. Any questions?

1 reply
azuladragon34 July 21st, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123

Nope. I very much understood the whole thing.

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Sunisshiningandsoareyou July 21st, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123
hello Allie , nice to meet y'all ❤
This looks like a great guide to work on , I do agree we can always try and improve our ways to support members with diverse conditions.

Thankyou for initiating , your time , efforts and considerate thoughts are super appreciated . ❤

Subscribing to this thread for updates 😊

2 replies
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 21st, 2021

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Youre welcome. Any questions? Nice to meet you as well.

sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 21st, 2021

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Youre welcome. Any questions? Nice to meet you as well.

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DrDonut July 21st, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123

Read. Thank you for tagging us and bringing awareness! I hope this can be expanded on. Would like to see it go through

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 21st, 2021

@DrDonut
Your welcome. Any questions?

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pamharley003 July 21st, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123
I have read your post and I do help all who come to me whether to just refresh their memory or answer a question with links if possible to their concerns. I love help anyone who comes to me because it makes me feel I can make that Listener comfortable in their roles.

3 replies
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 21st, 2021

@pamharley003
Thats great to hear Pam. I truly appreciate you.

sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 21st, 2021

@pamharley003
Thats great to hear Pam. I truly appreciate you.

1 reply
pamharley003 July 21st, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123

Your welcome, if I can be of any help anywhere please let me know

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rachsxo July 21st, 2021

Read! Thank you for sharing.

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 21st, 2021

@rachsxo
Your welcome. Any questions?

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KatePersephone July 21st, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123 read, thanks a lot for this! although i still dont feel confident enough to provide support to a person with autism because its way too hard for me to support someone i cant relate to 😅

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 21st, 2021

@KateDoskocilova
Theres a lot of resources out there as well that can help! Feel free to reach out to me if you want some. I'm going to be adding more to the forum thread as well.

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July 21st, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123
Read! Thanks

2 replies
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 21st, 2021

@calmingMermaid5761
Thank you. Any questions?

1 reply
July 21st, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123
Nope! (:

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Kara13V July 21st, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123

Hello! I have read, thank you. <3

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 21st, 2021

@Kara13V
Thabk you. Any questions?

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considerateParadise6717 July 21st, 2021

Thank you for this @sunshinegiraffe123 It is something really important to remember! I have read it all!

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 21st, 2021

@considerateParadise6717
Thank you. Any questions?

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July 21st, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123 Noted, thank you!

3 replies
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 21st, 2021

@LuLuRings
Any questions?

2 replies
July 21st, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123 No, thank you though.

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 21st, 2021

@LuLuRings
Your welcome.

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July 21st, 2021

Read. A guide in this aspect would definitely be useful.

3 replies
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 21st, 2021

@richuyulin
Any questions?

2 replies
July 21st, 2021

No questions at the moment, thank you though.

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 21st, 2021

@richuyulin
Your welcome.

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Happy900 July 21st, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123 I read the post and no questions at this time.

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 21st, 2021

@Happy900
Alright, Thanks for reading.

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Happy900 July 21st, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123 I know what it is like to be disabiled.
I have a learning disability.

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 21st, 2021

@Happy900
I actually don't view myself as disabled, I view it as an exceptionality and sometimes a gift.

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HelpfulGem04 July 21st, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123

Hello! Thank you for this lovely post. May I have some links (if you have any you recommend) on how to help people during a meltdown? I would love to give people the correct support if I ever come across someone who needs it <3

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 21st, 2021

@HelpfulGem04
Yeah, I'll send them to you through my listener account.

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Rebekah July 21st, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123, read.

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 21st, 2021

@RebekahRoyal
Thabk you!

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Greenchoice1 July 21st, 2021

Thanks for tagging me, I read it and understood it. Green. 💚

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 22nd, 2021

@Greenchoice1
yiur welcome, thanks for reading.

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Gozzil July 21st, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123

Read! Thank you for sharing this helpful information. I don't have any questions right now, but if I think of any I'll come back and ask them.

2 replies
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 22nd, 2021

@Gozzil
Alroght! Thanks for reading.

sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 22nd, 2021

@Gozzil
Alroght! Thanks for reading.

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rebecca947 July 22nd, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123
Read, thank you for the post and tag! And no questions.

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 22nd, 2021

@rebecca947
Thabks for reading.

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blitheEmbrace27 July 22nd, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123

Read! Thank you for sharing and for this information ❤️

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 22nd, 2021

@blitheEmbrace27
Tnank you! Any questions?

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soulsings July 22nd, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123 thanks for the post.

What is a meltdown and what does it look like online.

@soulsings

2 replies
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 22nd, 2021

@soulsings

A meltdown is ‘an intense response to overwhelming situations. And for your second question, online it can look like spamming and purposely triggering others, however that is completely wrong. I don't mean to spam, it just comes naturally if people don't intervene. I don't mean to trigger others, I'm upset myself during them and I don't process emotions when I'm freaking out.

2 replies
soulsings July 22nd, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123 thanks for clarifying meltdown.

So it sounds like normal social skills are overridden by attempt to distract from the real problem. That must be difficult.

Hope you get more support and understanding from members and listeners of the 7cups community.

2 replies
sunshinegiraffe123 OP August 9th, 2021

@soulsings
i do my best.

1 reply
soulsings August 9th, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123 that is all anyone can reasonably expect from themselves.

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Sher217 July 22nd, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123
Read, and I don't have questions but would like to offer a perspective.

As listeners and /or mods take steps to learn how to handle a meltdown, I think it's also important for anyone on the Spectrum to take steps to prepare to receive help prior to meltdowns. This can be done by talking openly about what their individual triggers are, their preferred methods for being talked through a meltdown (what helps them most), and any stims they are aware that they have. I think it's important to reach out to a preferred listener (who knows this information about them) if they recognize that they are stimming, instead of waiting until full meltdown occurs.

I love that Cups is a place that takes an interest in learning about the Spectrum and ways to support people on the Spectrum! I think by taking steps, by both those on the Spectrum and listeners, we can meet in a kind and understanding way to offer and receive support.

~ Sher

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 22nd, 2021

@Sher217
Thanks for reading and about your perspective - I list all my triggers in my profile for the sole purpose of there all in one spot. My stims are mainly just three - stuttering, saying mmmm or saying ababab.
I can best be helped by reassuring and people understanding that me having a meltdown isn't role play. Also by people prompting me to take deep breaths and offering choices.
About the preferred listener - it depends on the listeners availability, I know my preferred listener is currently unavailable as shes super busy, so it's all about finding temporary help in these situations.

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July 22nd, 2021

Read it. Thanks for posting Allie!!

enchantedlove July 22nd, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123 thanks for making this post! i think as with many matters it can be hard for some listeners and easier for others! there are so many different topics out there so raising awareness and providing support can be crucial, thank you for sharing! take care an have a lovely day!

mamtasha22 July 23rd, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123 thanks for the post would love to know more about it Red heart

whenitsdarklookforstars July 24th, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123

Allie, I think it is such a great thing to raise awareness on topics like these that we as listeners sometimes are not as educated about. Do you have any resources that you believe might help us better support those going through a situation like this? Thank you so much 🤗

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 24th, 2021

@whenitsdarklookforstars
I do. I'll send them or post them later :)

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July 31st, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123

Thank you for raising awareness. I would love to read more if you have links.
Also, maybe you can reach out to content volunteering team and they might be able to help you advance the topic further.

2 replies
IceCream4IceCream August 1st, 2021

@DonaldDraper

tagging @SoulfullyAButterfly (content volunteer team CML). I'm happy to help pitch in with writing such an article or answering relevant Q&As.

Support Plus covers Autism <3 :) Sunshine, would you be okay if this thread was moved to Support Plus?

@sunshinegiraffe123

2 replies
August 1st, 2021

@jovialButterfly6752 Thank you Jovi for the helping hand Grinning

SoulfullyAButterfly August 1st, 2021

@jovialButterfly6752 you are more than welcome to!

sunshinegiraffe123 OP August 9th, 2021

@jovialButterfly6752
Sure!

1 reply
IceCream4IceCream August 9th, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123 It is now within the support plus sub-community! I am grateful for this detailed resource :) Thank you for sharing with us!

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rrretsuko August 16th, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123 allie, these posts are very useful and great resources, thank you so much for tagging me. i'll be sure to save these and also to remember this information even when i don't have it right in front of me. thank you so much !

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP August 16th, 2021

@rrretsuko
Your very welcome!

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audienta April 5th, 2022

Thank you for writing this @sunshinegiraffe123 and @Gracey. I think that's a really important post.

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP April 6th, 2022

@audienta


It is a really important post 💜💜. Im so glad @Gracey was willing to write this up. It’s changed how some people view me and autism in general.

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sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 21st, 2021

@RebekahRoyal retagged

barncat July 22nd, 2021

@Gracey- thank you for this post about autism. Met many people on the spectrum- useful information.

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP July 22nd, 2021

@barncat
Im not Gracey but I'm glad.

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amoOna97 October 7th, 2021

@Gracey thanks so much for this informative post and for helping spread more awareness on ASD 💯🙏🏼

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP October 9th, 2021

@amoOnii

Sre you a part of the support plus community?

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sunshinegiraffe123 OP November 16th, 2019

Echolalia can seem like a person repeating words they dont understand, rather than trying to communicate. But echolalia can in fact be meaningful communication. ( no link )

from grace communication link

sunshinegiraffe123 OP November 16th, 2019

All listeners should try and alert the person they are talking to before disappearing as the person may get concerned.

reddotonblack November 17th, 2019

@sunshinegiraffe123

I have found your thread...it does help alot...ty sunshine..😔

5 replies
sunshinegiraffe123 OP November 17th, 2019

@reddotonblack

So glad u found this!

4 replies
reddotonblack November 17th, 2019

@sunshinegiraffe123

It is a very useful thread Sunshine both for afflicted ones like me with a wide spectrum and both for people who interract with us to understand us and accept us and not freak out..."normal" is just a statistic, if we are not part of the statistic "normal" majority it does not mean that we shouldn't be integrated and together...minds and souls just have to open wider and warmer...

Am truly glad I found the tgread...😶

3 replies
sunshinegiraffe123 OP November 17th, 2019

@reddotonblack

After weeks of being in the newer rooms it was starting to frustrate me. I reached out to the adult teen listeners and came across grace @gracey . She was willing to listen to me and since she works with people like me she was very accepting. I opened up to her and explained about the listeners and other members and today I hit my breaking point and said I wanted to change the way people viewed me and others on the spectrum.

2 replies
reddotonblack November 17th, 2019

@sunshinegiraffe123

That is ok, whatwver you think works for you, follow that...

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP November 17th, 2019

@reddotonblack

thanks

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mytwistedsoul November 18th, 2019

@sunshinegiraffe123 Hey Allie - I just wanted to say thank you this - for putting this together. It's very helpful

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP November 18th, 2019

@mytwistedsoul

oh your welcome

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sunshinegiraffe123 OP November 19th, 2019

ATTENTION MODS AND MEMBERS

How come normal not on the spectrum people dont get told to mute everyone in the room when they arent supportive but the minute I say Im on the spectrum and some things are hard for me , I get told to mute everyone in the room

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sadsally April 6th, 2022

@sunshinegiraffe123 I can't speak to chats rooms or reasons... BUT..

I think autism in general is very misunderstood. It's a wide spectrum and not a one sized fits all diagnosis IMO. I was diagnosed when I was very young and am lucky to be high functioning. My parents(even tho they weren't the best) did a good thing and got me in speech therapy as well as early development classes to help. I still very much struggle with "normal" people. They don't get it and I just accept it now.

I have 2 people who I manage who are also on the spectrum. I absolutely love them both because they tell me whats up every time and work is almost always perfect. Before coming to my team they were "difficult to work with", but I think it was more that their matter of factness was misunderstood as being mean/rude when omg... they were just trying to help.

The way I say things or what I say...to me, seems just matter of fact and obvious. For others they don't see that same view, and then i get frustrated because in my mind it's sooo simple like how do they not see this?

I do talk a lot too tho 😅

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 OP April 6th, 2022

@sadsally

It is misunderstood, but at least here on cups, people are trying to understand for the most part.

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wonderfulRainbow817 July 18th, 2022

@sunshinegiraffe123, i feel this. Hopefully it has gotten better for you!

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sunshinegiraffe123 OP November 19th, 2019

An individual with a disability is defined in the act as someone who has "a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities; has a record of such an impairment; or is regarded as having such an impairment." The regulations define "physical or mental impairment" as any physiological disorder or condition, cosmetic disfigurement, or anatomical loss affecting one or more body systems, such as neurological, musculoskeletal, special sense organs, respiratory (including speech organs), cardiovascular, reproductive, digestive, genitourinary, immune, circulatory, hemic, lymphatic, skin, and endocrine. The regulations also cover any mental or psychological disorder, such as intellectual disability, organic brain syndrome, emotional or mental illness and specific learning disabilities

Shrm .org

sunshinegiraffe123 OP November 23rd, 2019

Challenges

No mentioning slapping or smacking , no caps , no screeching or screaming

barncat March 5th, 2021

Thank you for this post.