A guide to Autism and Panic attacks. Open to all
Hi. I've gotten some members who ask me what happens when I have a meltdown or some that appear shy to talk to me when I'm in one. I have had listeners who refuse to talk to me because they end up getting confused. I've had mods who get very confused due to not knowing the way to interact with me. Hopefully this will help you all out! - Allie
I have recently started supporting Allie @sunshinegiraffe123 and we have been discussing the fact that a lot of listeners are unsure how to support someone with autism when they are having a meltdown. We have worked together to come up with some information that might help
What is Autism?
Autism is a developmental disability that is lifelong. It can affect how people perceive the world and interact with others.
What is a meltdown?
According to National Autistic Society A meltdown is ‘an intense response to overwhelming situations. It happens when someone becomes completely overwhelmed by their current situation and temporarily loses behavioural control. This loss of control can be expressed verbally (eg shouting, screaming, crying), physically (eg kicking, lashing out, biting) or in both ways.
Many autistic people will show signs of distress before having a meltdown, which is sometimes referred to as the rumble stage. They may start to exhibit signs of anxiety such as pacing, seek reassurance through repetitive questioning or physical signs such as rocking or becoming very still.
What can I do to help?
Here are some tips for when you are chatting to a member/guest with Autism who is having a panic attack or meltdown or starting to meltdown -
Dos
- Offer to send them a PM if they are in a chatroom or forum
- Stay very calm
- Be patient
- Provide a safe space for them to express their emotions
- Ask if there is anything you can do to help
- Send short messages that are easy to read
- Use familiar and repetitive language
- Remind them to take slow and deep breaths
- Reassure them that this will pass
- Reassure them that you are there for them and that they are ok
- Let them have their moment, but be there for support as sometimes they get confused
- Seek support yourself if you need it from someone who has more experience
Do nots
- Send long, hard to read messages
- Force them to open up or answer questions
- Use sarcastic language
- Be offended if they shout or become mad
- Shout at them or be annoyed with them because of their behaviour
- Threaten to report them to a mod for freaking out as this can make them worse
Any questions, feel free to comment or send me a message!
Useful links:
- National Autistic Society - Meltdowns
- National Autistic Society - What is autism?
- National Autistic Society - Communication
Hello commods and mods,
I have spoken to a few people who have agreed with me mainly listeners, that they don't have the training to handle a meltdown or don't know how to approach someone who is on the spectrum. This is something I shoudve done a while ago, but I never did it. I'm not asking for training to be done with the listeners, I'm just asking if you guys can read and leave a message below either saying read, or with a question that I'll answer, as you all are the people listeners look up to. I hope to bring more awareness to this guide as the support plus community grows as well.
Also, a meltdown is not a crisis, Meltdowns and crisis situations are two different things. Crisis involves being asked to contact an outside source, meltdowns involve someone being there to support the person who is having a meltdown.
Tagging : @DrDonut @Andyallen @Bluelotus99 @Happy900 @Fristo @bubbles2025 @sia1325 @CommunityModElliot @CommunityModAaron @CommunityModAlex @CommunityModAnne @CommunityModJennie @CommunityModCharlie @CommunityModEllie @CommunityModMorgan @CommunityModParker @CommunityModLynn @CommunityModRobin @CommunityModSage @Richuyulin @kieran000 @jovialButterfly6752 @amiablePeace77 @LuLuRings @EmmaE @mamtasha22 @sia1325 @ASilentObserver @Gozzil @soulsings @Kara13V @gentleSun78 @azuladragon34 @caringPanda45 @Bubbles2025 @Sunisshiningandsoareyou @vivelespatates @StarlitSky4762 @AnnaTess @considerateParadise6717 @DreamTouch @KateDoskocilova @Tyedyedbutterfly65 @SuryanshSingh @Anna706 @CheeryMango @DonaldDraper @PeaceLoveandPaws @Sher217 @Isentropic @whenitsdarklookforstars @Amy @Greenchoice1 @Rhlexia520 @kindSoul10 @cuteOrange213 @LoveLilly @CompassionateDreamer8522 @AlwaysEli @Listeningsarinn @musicalHarmony @glowingHeart4796 @starryskies108 @compassionateTree4567 @blitheEmbrace27 @Asher @Mankka @Anusha @optimisticDay8079 @hopedreamlove @SummerBreeze00 @brilliantTurtle89 @CaringBrit @Mimi @pamharley003 @enchantedlove @WeedyGarden @PoliteOcean @EvelyneRose @KimsonTheSteveFundYPOC @competentParadise6344 @Jenna @RebekahRoyal @crystalclearnow @rachsxo @Lysandra @VerseArt @shiningSky3745 @7CupsCommunity @SoulfullyAButterfly @RumpleSteeleSkin @Azalea98 @Samar27 @leafycup @Erica @bouncyVoice4149 @bookworm4 @Clara139175 @rebecca947 @Ines1229 @JessHobson @MistyMagic @rhlvrma94 @River @AriJoseph @MidwesternCalmSeeker @lemonbot @Calmingmermaid5761 @LoveLilly @OliviaWilson5 @HelpfulGem04 @astro0koala240 @itssoren @DigitalKnight @kindLemonade
@sunshinegiraffe123
Read. Thanks for the post Allie.
@sunshinegiraffe123
hello Allie , nice to meet y'all ❤
This looks like a great guide to work on , I do agree we can always try and improve our ways to support members with diverse conditions.
Thankyou for initiating , your time , efforts and considerate thoughts are super appreciated . ❤
Subscribing to this thread for updates 😊
@sunshinegiraffe123
Read. Thank you for tagging us and bringing awareness! I hope this can be expanded on. Would like to see it go through
@sunshinegiraffe123
I have read your post and I do help all who come to me whether to just refresh their memory or answer a question with links if possible to their concerns. I love help anyone who comes to me because it makes me feel I can make that Listener comfortable in their roles.
@sunshinegiraffe123 read, thanks a lot for this! although i still dont feel confident enough to provide support to a person with autism because its way too hard for me to support someone i cant relate to 😅
@sunshinegiraffe123
Hello! I have read, thank you. <3
Thank you for this @sunshinegiraffe123 It is something really important to remember! I have read it all!
Read. A guide in this aspect would definitely be useful.
@sunshinegiraffe123 I read the post and no questions at this time.
@sunshinegiraffe123 I know what it is like to be disabiled.
I have a learning disability.
@sunshinegiraffe123
Hello! Thank you for this lovely post. May I have some links (if you have any you recommend) on how to help people during a meltdown? I would love to give people the correct support if I ever come across someone who needs it <3
Thanks for tagging me, I read it and understood it. Green. 💚
@sunshinegiraffe123
Read! Thank you for sharing this helpful information. I don't have any questions right now, but if I think of any I'll come back and ask them.
@sunshinegiraffe123
Read, thank you for the post and tag! And no questions.
@sunshinegiraffe123
Read! Thank you for sharing and for this information ❤️
@sunshinegiraffe123 thanks for the post.
What is a meltdown and what does it look like online.
@soulsings
@sunshinegiraffe123
Read, and I don't have questions but would like to offer a perspective.
As listeners and /or mods take steps to learn how to handle a meltdown, I think it's also important for anyone on the Spectrum to take steps to prepare to receive help prior to meltdowns. This can be done by talking openly about what their individual triggers are, their preferred methods for being talked through a meltdown (what helps them most), and any stims they are aware that they have. I think it's important to reach out to a preferred listener (who knows this information about them) if they recognize that they are stimming, instead of waiting until full meltdown occurs.
I love that Cups is a place that takes an interest in learning about the Spectrum and ways to support people on the Spectrum! I think by taking steps, by both those on the Spectrum and listeners, we can meet in a kind and understanding way to offer and receive support.
~ Sher
@Sher217
Thanks for reading and about your perspective - I list all my triggers in my profile for the sole purpose of there all in one spot. My stims are mainly just three - stuttering, saying mmmm or saying ababab.
I can best be helped by reassuring and people understanding that me having a meltdown isn't role play. Also by people prompting me to take deep breaths and offering choices.
About the preferred listener - it depends on the listeners availability, I know my preferred listener is currently unavailable as shes super busy, so it's all about finding temporary help in these situations.
Read it. Thanks for posting Allie!!
@sunshinegiraffe123 thanks for making this post! i think as with many matters it can be hard for some listeners and easier for others! there are so many different topics out there so raising awareness and providing support can be crucial, thank you for sharing! take care an have a lovely day!
@sunshinegiraffe123 thanks for the post would love to know more about it 
@sunshinegiraffe123
Allie, I think it is such a great thing to raise awareness on topics like these that we as listeners sometimes are not as educated about. Do you have any resources that you believe might help us better support those going through a situation like this? Thank you so much 🤗
@sunshinegiraffe123
Thank you for raising awareness. I would love to read more if you have links.
Also, maybe you can reach out to content volunteering team and they might be able to help you advance the topic further.
@sunshinegiraffe123 allie, these posts are very useful and great resources, thank you so much for tagging me. i'll be sure to save these and also to remember this information even when i don't have it right in front of me. thank you so much !
@Gracey
This is very helpful and structured and am grateful that someone describes it to people so we may be better understood and be together with other people...thank you for a proffessional window insight into our conditions...
Echolalia can seem like a person repeating words they dont understand, rather than trying to communicate. But echolalia can in fact be meaningful communication. ( no link )
from grace communication link
All listeners should try and alert the person they are talking to before disappearing as the person may get concerned.
@sunshinegiraffe123
I have found your thread...it does help alot...ty sunshine..😔
@reddotonblack
So glad u found this!
@sunshinegiraffe123
It is a very useful thread Sunshine both for afflicted ones like me with a wide spectrum and both for people who interract with us to understand us and accept us and not freak out..."normal" is just a statistic, if we are not part of the statistic "normal" majority it does not mean that we shouldn't be integrated and together...minds and souls just have to open wider and warmer...
Am truly glad I found the tgread...😶
@reddotonblack
After weeks of being in the newer rooms it was starting to frustrate me. I reached out to the adult teen listeners and came across grace @gracey . She was willing to listen to me and since she works with people like me she was very accepting. I opened up to her and explained about the listeners and other members and today I hit my breaking point and said I wanted to change the way people viewed me and others on the spectrum.
ATTENTION MODS AND MEMBERS
How come normal not on the spectrum people dont get told to mute everyone in the room when they arent supportive but the minute I say Im on the spectrum and some things are hard for me , I get told to mute everyone in the room
@sunshinegiraffe123 I can't speak to chats rooms or reasons... BUT..
I think autism in general is very misunderstood. It's a wide spectrum and not a one sized fits all diagnosis IMO. I was diagnosed when I was very young and am lucky to be high functioning. My parents(even tho they weren't the best) did a good thing and got me in speech therapy as well as early development classes to help. I still very much struggle with "normal" people. They don't get it and I just accept it now.
I have 2 people who I manage who are also on the spectrum. I absolutely love them both because they tell me whats up every time and work is almost always perfect. Before coming to my team they were "difficult to work with", but I think it was more that their matter of factness was misunderstood as being mean/rude when omg... they were just trying to help.
The way I say things or what I say...to me, seems just matter of fact and obvious. For others they don't see that same view, and then i get frustrated because in my mind it's sooo simple like how do they not see this?
I do talk a lot too tho 😅
@sunshinegiraffe123, i feel this. Hopefully it has gotten better for you!
An individual with a disability is defined in the act as someone who has "a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities; has a record of such an impairment; or is regarded as having such an impairment." The regulations define "physical or mental impairment" as any physiological disorder or condition, cosmetic disfigurement, or anatomical loss affecting one or more body systems, such as neurological, musculoskeletal, special sense organs, respiratory (including speech organs), cardiovascular, reproductive, digestive, genitourinary, immune, circulatory, hemic, lymphatic, skin, and endocrine. The regulations also cover any mental or psychological disorder, such as intellectual disability, organic brain syndrome, emotional or mental illness and specific learning disabilities
Shrm .org
Thank you for this post.