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Ramblings 3
Nothing new, same issues . I miss the people here. I have been really struggling the last few months. I have been really trying and it seems like I am going back instead of forward.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami No thank you needed but you're welcome. I tend to be a silent supporter I guess. I was really happy to see you arranged for groceries and I saw mention of a walker too I think? You know it might not seem like much but those are actually pretty big steps to take and I'm really proud that you took them ❤️
Why am I the way I am? I am beyond a basket case. I can only hope that there is no one else who is as screwed up as I am.
Can’t stay down today. Anxiety is in play, anxious about people coming here, the delivery that hasn’t arrived yet , the delivery of groceries. Neighbor in full bore mode moving vehicles back and forth to his junkyard and house, sounds like someone pulling in my driveway constantly tripping my anxiety.
The chair and walker arrived. Took me awhile to bring them in by myself. Still have to put the parts onto them.
just got verification that grocery order was pulled and ready for pick up, half of what I ordered they didn’t have on hand.
I have to figure out what to do about that.
I feel like I’m back at day one of this , the pain is immense and not letting up yet
Groceries arrived. My stubborn hind end helped bring them all in. My bed is between the front door and the kitchen so I set everything but the pop on the bed. Another brainiac move, since laying down is the only way to try and ease the pain. Pop is piled by front door on the floor, which is a puzzle for later. Sat in the wheelchair numerous times until food for fridge and freezer were put away. Now I lay here crying like a baby because my boo-boo hurts.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami everything will be better too^-^ I'm believing that for you. It looks like you've made so much progress, be proud of yourself :D We are!
It's okay to cry<3
@Iamwhoiamwhoami yep the world sucks and then you die. But if the world didn't suck we'd all fall off, so I'm a way it all falls into place. To wether there's anyone as screwed up as you, I've met 24 people personally, and no many others who are just no longer human. At least your still human ❤ your memories of when you where younger, well at least you know that from a early age people caused this pain, so you are not to blame for the way you are now, it's the doing if others. But suffering as badly as you do, is why me and soul, and aurora, come to you with only love I'm our hearts. Because we all know that pain, maybe not to your extent, but we understand as much as anyone can ❤ that's why we stick by your side, we love you and want to help you. ❤ hugs you tightly ❤
I’m forever grateful,thankful and blessed to have all of you as friends 💕💕💕💕
@Iamwhoiamwhoami and we are all blessed to have the chance to be part of your life ❤ you are one of my fear friends here who I deeply care about, and always will ❤
@Tinywhisper11 dear* friends not fear😂😂😂 stupid middle finger can't spell this early😁
@Tinywhisper11 best fear sounds less threatening xD
@Tinywhisper11 your heart and the love you hold in it always amazes me <3
@BlueDarkAurora ❤😁❤ your kindness never fails to amaze me either ❤ hugs you tightly ❤❤I love you
@Tinywhisper11 aww <3 Iam has managed to gather us all awesome being together (including him ofcourse ^-^)<3
@BlueDarkAurora yes we are all special people ❤❤
@Iamwhoiamwhoami well done for messaging your doctor about your meds. Let's hope the side effects have passed now. And well done for getting your food and wheelchair ❤ was it less painful, or easier to move around with the wheelchair??
Bad time to judge considering my pain was already extreme so movement in the chair was not a reality..
@Iamwhoiamwhoami ahh! Yeah fair enough ❤ but hopefully next try, will be a better one. Maybe when you get used to it, you can go back to doing little things in your garage. I hope it makes a difference for you. If I could cross my fingers I would, but I can't do I'm just gonna hope ❤
good morning sweetie (or good night) ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤ I love you ❤
I have to try using it when I’m not in extreme pain first. I’m not all that familiar with being in the chair. I have a lot to figure out
💕💕❤️❤️❤️❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami that's fair ^^ I'm glad you're giving it a fair chance. I hope it turns out to be of great assistance to you and that you can bring some normalcy back<3
Maybe it will maybe not much , my house is too small for much legitimate use in limited space, the walker or rollator I have to figure out as well to see if it will work for me . I’m flying blind with these things for now. They weren’t technically recommended for me yet and no therapist in the picture yet so no lessons there yet.
Do appreciate your thoughts and support.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami well it's worth a shot, I'm glad you decided to get one ❤ at this point anything that might help is worth a try ❤
Are your pain levels still high right now?? I'm so glad you managed to get a bit of sleep yaaay! That's really good, I know it wasn't long but it's a start. ❤
Hopefully it works out.
pain is still high , if I can stay down and keep flopping my whale blubber around to the position of least pain it should minimize, by that time it’ll probably be close to pain pill time.the sleep I’m getting now is about the same as before I had to stop working. I sort of want to sleep more so more time goes by “quicker “.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami yeah I understand that. In the mornings my pain levels are at the lowest, but by bed time I'm in so much pain, I just want to sleep it away🙁 and when it plays up for a while, it's like h3ll. Which I know is what your feeling like😥 but I'm here with you, holding your hand through the pain.❤ Your doing amazing, you really are ❤❤
@Tinywhisper11
💕💕❤️💕❤️💕💕
What really sucks is days like today where I spend a lot of mental energy struggling with my thoughts and fighting to put them down here, the days like today when I able to get quite a few things down, to a lot of people the actual quantity of my writings doesn’t amount to much but it takes a massive amount of time for me . But anyway by the time you are ready to go for awhile I am worn out. Maybe someday I’ll follow your lead and use emojis a little.
💕I love you too 💕
@Iamwhoiamwhoami maybe some youtube video about how to use them in limited space effectively might help. I'm sure you'll figure it out, you have figured out so many things till now and are here so you'll make this work as well ^-^
@Iamwhoiamwhoami 😂😂😂 yeah I overuse emojiis😂😂 but their so cute and express how I'm feeling😁 I've noticed today you've been using hearts🙂 yaaaay!
You know I think mental health is definitely worse than physical pain🙁 both draining, but thoughts are the hardest🙁 I'm glad writing here helps you. And yes it's a great distraction from the pain to. Someone once said "I don't know what time zone tiny is in, she always seems to be here" but you know what else can we do. We try out best to live life, but people don't understand, the difference between being able to do things in life, and not having much choice. So spend as much time as you can here. 7 cups has been a life line for me😁 I' know it is for you too ❤❤
You have been one of the ones that keeps ensuring that I am still holding on. You are a major ingredient in my lifeline
❤️💕Hugs
@Iamwhoiamwhoami did you eat today? You were probably in to much pain, to fix yourself something to eat🙁 did you buy snacks?? Crisps and stuff?? Or perhaps fruit. Get some next time it's easier with the pain. I bet your work mate, was happy to see you and help, so don't be afraid to ask ❤
@Tinywhisper11
I actually didn’t eat anything until a bit ago. Made up for not eating for awhile. I never have been a healthy eater. , I buy snacks periodically but don’t necessarily eat all of them. My work isn’t something for having foods that expire quickly. Plus I don’t have the ambition to cook for 1, so easy prep cheat meals is my go to meal at home.❤️❤️
