Ramblings 3

The loneliness of truly being alone is devastating. To trust that the resources for those in need truly in no way can help you when you finally reach out is just crushing.

To hope is to want regret and disappointment.

To trust is to long for disappointment. To long for that which has eluded me for a lifetime is wanting to be proven a failure. To want what I will never have is stupidity. To continue a journey that never leads anywhere is pointless. To be completely open and honest while maintaining the belief that it will help bring light into the darkness of a lifetime is fruitless.

To want what I have never experienced is impossible.

To understand how to self love without knowing what love is shall also be classified as impossible.

I have longed for a lot of things that I now realize will never be a possibility for me. So I suppose I should just lay here and wait.

Waiting for what? I haven’t a clue. My strength is gone, any desire for a better future I had left has gone as well. I am not one for wishing because they never come true, however I can say that I wish that those who have been supportive of me were here with me in person not just here. Maybe I would stand a chance.

I had no choice but to try that route. I am on my own and by definition they are the ones to go to for help.

@Tinywhisper11

You are a wonderful friend and I always appreciate your kindness and support, I always want any and all ideas you have. My options are slim to none. You have been beside me and I will never want anything less.

@Tinywhisper11

My issues my struggles are what have brought me here to this point. You are an angel that has managed to make it to me and bless me with your love ❤️ 💕

Ok, I am done writing here. My words have hurt someone else without any intention of doing so.