My daily ramblings
I am finally going to follow the lead and try and avoid posting in multiple different places. I am going to try and do most of my rambling in this thread.
My cognitive issues are making it harder and harder for me to focus on multiple things. That combined with my laundry list of other issues, makes functioning at all near impossible.
Having to go through medication experimentation again is going to make it even harder.
Whenever I have to refocus because I literally can’t remember blocks of time or where I am and why I’m here kinds of things , I’m usually able to come here and figure out through my posts and profile etc.
That has proven to not work very well at times. I wondered if I centralized my thoughts here that maybe that might work better.
That also keeps me from being a distraction from those who are more deserving than I.
Feels like the walls are moving. My rooms are getting smaller. I’m not liking this feeling, ok they stopped. Claustrophobic reaction in my own home? Why?
I had something else that I wanted to say but I forget what it was. That little episode took away my focus.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I dont know what is going on of course and i know doctors are concerned about something physical or at least doing tests and trying different things but also some of these visions and hallucinations could be caused by sensory deprivation and isolation i know you normally work and are not doing that now and its also been so cold out when you might normally go outside but even if they have nothing to do with your environment and its all physical it could just help you ruminate less
something on here or a few things could help https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-cope-with-loneliness-during-coronavirus-4799661
How can I be in a fog when my thoughts are still racing.
Slept but exhausted. Head pulsing, pain down left side of neck into shoulder. Thoughts/images screaming through but extremely hard to focus on any, Identity confusion. Panic/anxiety attack when woke up in the dark. I’m still breathing, why? Depression still extreme. I have to trust that the writings I read are mine and the plastic card with a picture of what kind of looks like me is actually me.
I’m so sick of all this , I am not everyone else. I’m broken, stop piling this nonsense on me.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I might be wrong - I'm sorry if I am but that stuff doesn't work for me either
@mytwistedsoul
I don’t understand? What doesn’t work for you?
@Iamwhoiamwhoami Writing the positivity in journals. And I should apologize to you. I should have kept that thought to myself
@mytwistedsoul
I am not bothered or offended by anything you say. I have written a lot of things here and anyone who may have read any of it, may stir up some thoughts, I am ok with those thoughts freely being expressed in response, to those writings
@mytwistedsoul
Hi.
I just want to say hello to you since I see you here at "Iam's" site. You helped me to send his tree to Glen, our leader here. I have told "I'am" that I'm a woman (very old - ha.ha.) 70 years, living in Bergen Norway. We have snow here now just as there is snow at Iam's place in the USA. Yesterday I saw you in a little vision. (Or it was my mind making it). You were a beautiful, little blue bird, flying happy around. You also played with the water. If you want to you can tell your age, if you're a woman or a man and which country you live in. "I'am" is in his 50th.
@Helgafy Hey :) I remember. It's a beautiful tree. I'm glad Glen got to see it
There's alot of symbolic meaning when it comes to bluebirds. I take it as a compliment :) Thank you
Wow Norway? That's so awesome! We don't have any snow here at the moment. We did but then had a warm up but it's early yet. I'm sure we'll get more than enough
I don't think 70 is old - just wiser :)
Well the I'm not close to either of your ages. I'm a male - 26 and I live in the Northeast US
It's nice to meet you!
@Iamwhoiamwhoami @mytwistedsoul
Good morning to you both at this 1. day of 2023.
From my place with snow i brought myself in my aeroplane (ha.ha) to "mytwist" were there is no snow. "Iam" also came (if he wants to) from his place where there is also snow. We all go to "mytwist"s kitchen. I brought omelette, coffee and brown bread for breakfast. I hope you like that, if not we'll find something else to eat/drink.
I see your animals around "mytwist". If you want to you can tell me what kind of animals it is.
From Helga.
@Helgafy Animals consist of a horse - a dog - a cat and 4 roosters and 13 hens :) so we have plenty of fresh eggs - plus there's plenty of wildlife
Are there animals where you are?
@mytwistedsoul
Wonderful young man, "only" 26, but a grown-up!
I was thinking of a song today as the "blue bird" is flying very fast through my rooms (ha.ha!). I thought it was named "Bluebird", but then I remember it is named "Blackbird" - Beatles - Remastered 2009 - it has some fine lyrics if you would like to listen. Well. well. Beatles was very "hot"! at my age. We loved them!
All the best from Helga.
@mytwistedsoul
Hi bluebird.
Maybe I can get to know you a little bit here at "Iam's" site. I have been living alone my whole life and have no children. What about you - is there a mrs. bluebird in your life who laid some eggs for you? The bird stays at my bon sai tree (half my hight) during the night. (I like very much to use my imagination). He puts his little head under his wing when he sleeps. I have put water and grain out for him to eat and drink.
@mytwistedsoul
Well. well. Thank you for writing.
The blue bird flew out of my window ha.ha. But I had great pleasure of him visiting me for a day and a night! Thank you.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami You've been in my thoughts today my friend *sending you peace and hope*
With everything I am trying to handle right now, it seems my negativity is rubbing off onto everything else around me in my own home. Stove quit working, snowblower won’t start, vehicle dying. Fridge starting to operate like my brain on and off. I know it can always get worse but really??? Why keep piling it on???
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Friend. Why don't you give your whole situation to Jesus Christ to help you.
I’m at my wits end . I don’t know what to do . This battle with my body, doctors and my mind. I have to figure out the next steps in my future. I am going to have to make a decision as far as my work. I can’t do it.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
There is nothing wrong in retire because of health issues. I had to stop working when I were 50 years old because of my health.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami Haven’t heard from you in a few days. Hope you’re doing ok.
Same thing’s different day, I just am really struggling with putting words to the lows I am experiencing.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I know this all too well myself. You've been in my thoughts
@mytwistedsoul
Hi friend.
I just thought I would mess. you a little bit. Maybe you took a break from 7Cup. I don't think you saw my message at page 14 some days ago, and that is OK.
I hope you're doing good.
I'm in a weak period with my sickness, crying a bit each day for 3 days. I don't know why we shall suffer. But I think of the President V.Zelenskyy of Ukraine. How much he and his people suffer from the war. But still, each evening he gives a message to his people that they like to hear.
Well - the blue bird is not here now. A bigger, snow-white kakadue came instead.
All the best from Helga and as I have told before, please don't feel obligated to write.
@Helgafy Hey :) I hope it's ok to reply to both your messages here
I thought of you this morning. I saw a bluebird at one of the birdhouses. I'm alittle concerned that the weird weather that's been happening here has brought them too early because they usually don't show up until the end of February. It's been unseasonably warm this winter
You're welcome for the song. I love music and listen to all kinds
Oats and apples sounds nice. I've never had an omelette with cauliflower
I'm sorry the weakness is bothering you so right now. I wish I had an answer to why we suffer so. I have a number of thoughts about it but no real answers
A Kakadue - I had to look that one up :) another beautiful bird! It might like to eat some of your apples 🍎
I'll light a candle for you today and send you good vibes. Maybe it will ease the weakness and dry your tears ❤️
@mytwistedsoul
Thank you so much for writing. Thank you for your thoughts and the light. You're a very sensitive and fine person. I lift you up to our Fathers feet. So - you saw a bluebird already. I'm a little bit stronger today. I have a small film of a man playing an Elvis-song for 2 kakadues. One of them is spreading his feathers around his head, very wild, nodding - the other one is just standing there wandering why his friend is so crazy. It is at my f b where I'm not active. And there is no way to send it to you.
From Helga.
@Helgafy I'm glad to hear you were a little bit stronger. I hope it continues for you :)
There's quite a few robin's here now too. Maybe we'll have an early spring. Soon seeds can be started for the garden. Do you plant a garden?
I think I've found the video you were talking about too :) Cockatoo loves Elvis
@mytwistedsoul
Thank you so much for writing.
I'm SO! happy you found the song. Especially the "yeah, yeah" in the end is funny.
No seed in my garden. I once had carottes. They came up very small. I don't have a big garden here. Mostly I have roses, 8 bushes in different colors.
I wish I could bring you joy continual.
Regards from Helga.
@Mytwistedsoul.
Good morning to you.
I subscribe to get a Bibleverse each day. This is what I got today. Jesus: "Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."
@Helgafy Oh! You have a brother! :) I think it's really nice that he helps you. Does he spend some time to visit with you? Is he your only sibling? I'm an only child myself but I've often wondered what it might have been like to have a brother or a sister. Its probably a good thing that the parents didn't have any more children though
Sparrows are such inquisitive little birds. And wrens! I enjoy the wrens. There was one that found its way into the house once. It wasn't afraid at all even with the dogs there. It hopped its way across the back of the couch and just looked around until it decided to go back outside.
My grandmother used to sing at church. I can still remember her voice
@mytwistedsoul
Hi again @mytwistedsoul.
2 messages from me to you this time. You mentioned you had seen the bird Robin. I was dusting in my livingroom. And on my table I have two napkins with the picture of Red robin.
@Helgafy Hey :) How are you today? Oh I like roses. I don't have many myself - a big rose bush and two teacup roses. 8 bushes - I bet they're beautiful to see and probably smell so wonderful! I grow alot of lilies. And a garden. I've actually started doing more container gardening because where I live the ground is pretty rocky
That's so cool that you have napkins with robins on :) I haven't seen the bluebirds lately. Maybe they went back to warmed climates. I have seen a bunch of geese though. Do you get wild geese there?
@mytwistedsoul.
Good morning to you!
Yes I have 2 brothers. Kjell is the youngest one. When he comes he sit down for 1,5 or 2 hours. I give him coffee without coffein since it is in the afternoon he comes and some cake. He is the best, very sensitive as you are. He and his wife live at Sotra, an island outside Bergen where I live. I told him that you asked about wild geese. He said there are wild geese at the island where they live. Their nephew lives there. The birds eat all that's on the ground. Now they try with laser to make them go to another place. (I don't know if they have planted things there to grow).
I have a similar experience as you had with the wren. 2,5 years ago I had trapped off my medication for depression. 2 months after I stopped taking it I became very depressed. So I went to the ER. The doctor said that some time after stopping to take those tbl. one could be depressed.
The next morning I went to my kitchen to make myself breakfest. Because it was summer I had my door to the balcony open. A small bird with an yellow chest was on the floor in the middle of my livingroom, not scared at all. For me it was like Jesus Christ came to comfort me. I greeted him with a "good morning" or something like that. Then he silently just went out of the room.
A friend here sent a photo of a red robin today from outside her house in the snow.
All the best. Helga.
@Helgafy I'm glad he stays to visit for alittle. It sounds nice :) You both live in a beautiful place. Google helps me travel anywhere in the world I'd like to see
Oh gosh yeah geese can really do alot of damage to grass and crops. There's a man I know that has alligator decoys in his pond to keep the geese away. It doesn't really work too well because I think the geese have figured out that they aren't real
That little wren did come to comfort you :) a pleasantly bold little visitor to brighten your day!
I like robins too. To see them usually means springs not too far away but this winter has been so mild. I'm seeing so many birds that are here too soon :/ so I keep the bird feeders full and try to make sure there's something for everyone to eat
Has your depression been better? I bet it hits harder on the days when your tired :(
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Sometimes rambling helps clear the clutter in our thoughts!
If you ever need to get some things said, feel free to reach out!
