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My daily ramblings
I am finally going to follow the lead and try and avoid posting in multiple different places. I am going to try and do most of my rambling in this thread.
My cognitive issues are making it harder and harder for me to focus on multiple things. That combined with my laundry list of other issues, makes functioning at all near impossible.
Having to go through medication experimentation again is going to make it even harder.
Whenever I have to refocus because I literally can’t remember blocks of time or where I am and why I’m here kinds of things , I’m usually able to come here and figure out through my posts and profile etc.
That has proven to not work very well at times. I wondered if I centralized my thoughts here that maybe that might work better.
That also keeps me from being a distraction from those who are more deserving than I.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami You've been in my thoughts today my friend *sending you peace and hope*
With everything I am trying to handle right now, it seems my negativity is rubbing off onto everything else around me in my own home. Stove quit working, snowblower won’t start, vehicle dying. Fridge starting to operate like my brain on and off. I know it can always get worse but really??? Why keep piling it on???
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Friend. Why don't you give your whole situation to Jesus Christ to help you.
I’m at my wits end . I don’t know what to do . This battle with my body, doctors and my mind. I have to figure out the next steps in my future. I am going to have to make a decision as far as my work. I can’t do it.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
There is nothing wrong in retire because of health issues. I had to stop working when I were 50 years old because of my health.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami Haven’t heard from you in a few days. Hope you’re doing ok.
Same thing’s different day, I just am really struggling with putting words to the lows I am experiencing.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I know this all too well myself. You've been in my thoughts
@mytwistedsoul
Hi friend.
I just thought I would mess. you a little bit. Maybe you took a break from 7Cup. I don't think you saw my message at page 14 some days ago, and that is OK.
I hope you're doing good.
I'm in a weak period with my sickness, crying a bit each day for 3 days. I don't know why we shall suffer. But I think of the President V.Zelenskyy of Ukraine. How much he and his people suffer from the war. But still, each evening he gives a message to his people that they like to hear.
Well - the blue bird is not here now. A bigger, snow-white kakadue came instead.
All the best from Helga and as I have told before, please don't feel obligated to write.
@Helgafy Hey :) I hope it's ok to reply to both your messages here
I thought of you this morning. I saw a bluebird at one of the birdhouses. I'm alittle concerned that the weird weather that's been happening here has brought them too early because they usually don't show up until the end of February. It's been unseasonably warm this winter
You're welcome for the song. I love music and listen to all kinds
Oats and apples sounds nice. I've never had an omelette with cauliflower
I'm sorry the weakness is bothering you so right now. I wish I had an answer to why we suffer so. I have a number of thoughts about it but no real answers
A Kakadue - I had to look that one up :) another beautiful bird! It might like to eat some of your apples 🍎
I'll light a candle for you today and send you good vibes. Maybe it will ease the weakness and dry your tears ❤️
@mytwistedsoul
Thank you so much for writing. Thank you for your thoughts and the light. You're a very sensitive and fine person. I lift you up to our Fathers feet. So - you saw a bluebird already. I'm a little bit stronger today. I have a small film of a man playing an Elvis-song for 2 kakadues. One of them is spreading his feathers around his head, very wild, nodding - the other one is just standing there wandering why his friend is so crazy. It is at my f b where I'm not active. And there is no way to send it to you.
From Helga.
@Helgafy I'm glad to hear you were a little bit stronger. I hope it continues for you :)
There's quite a few robin's here now too. Maybe we'll have an early spring. Soon seeds can be started for the garden. Do you plant a garden?
I think I've found the video you were talking about too :) Cockatoo loves Elvis
@mytwistedsoul
Thank you so much for writing.
I'm SO! happy you found the song. Especially the "yeah, yeah" in the end is funny.
No seed in my garden. I once had carottes. They came up very small. I don't have a big garden here. Mostly I have roses, 8 bushes in different colors.
I wish I could bring you joy continual.
Regards from Helga.
@Mytwistedsoul.
Good morning to you.
I subscribe to get a Bibleverse each day. This is what I got today. Jesus: "Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."
@Helgafy Oh! You have a brother! :) I think it's really nice that he helps you. Does he spend some time to visit with you? Is he your only sibling? I'm an only child myself but I've often wondered what it might have been like to have a brother or a sister. Its probably a good thing that the parents didn't have any more children though
Sparrows are such inquisitive little birds. And wrens! I enjoy the wrens. There was one that found its way into the house once. It wasn't afraid at all even with the dogs there. It hopped its way across the back of the couch and just looked around until it decided to go back outside.
My grandmother used to sing at church. I can still remember her voice
@mytwistedsoul
Hi again @mytwistedsoul.
2 messages from me to you this time. You mentioned you had seen the bird Robin. I was dusting in my livingroom. And on my table I have two napkins with the picture of Red robin.
@Helgafy Hey :) How are you today? Oh I like roses. I don't have many myself - a big rose bush and two teacup roses. 8 bushes - I bet they're beautiful to see and probably smell so wonderful! I grow alot of lilies. And a garden. I've actually started doing more container gardening because where I live the ground is pretty rocky
That's so cool that you have napkins with robins on :) I haven't seen the bluebirds lately. Maybe they went back to warmed climates. I have seen a bunch of geese though. Do you get wild geese there?
@mytwistedsoul.
Good morning to you!
Yes I have 2 brothers. Kjell is the youngest one. When he comes he sit down for 1,5 or 2 hours. I give him coffee without coffein since it is in the afternoon he comes and some cake. He is the best, very sensitive as you are. He and his wife live at Sotra, an island outside Bergen where I live. I told him that you asked about wild geese. He said there are wild geese at the island where they live. Their nephew lives there. The birds eat all that's on the ground. Now they try with laser to make them go to another place. (I don't know if they have planted things there to grow).
I have a similar experience as you had with the wren. 2,5 years ago I had trapped off my medication for depression. 2 months after I stopped taking it I became very depressed. So I went to the ER. The doctor said that some time after stopping to take those tbl. one could be depressed.
The next morning I went to my kitchen to make myself breakfest. Because it was summer I had my door to the balcony open. A small bird with an yellow chest was on the floor in the middle of my livingroom, not scared at all. For me it was like Jesus Christ came to comfort me. I greeted him with a "good morning" or something like that. Then he silently just went out of the room.
A friend here sent a photo of a red robin today from outside her house in the snow.
All the best. Helga.
@Helgafy I'm glad he stays to visit for alittle. It sounds nice :) You both live in a beautiful place. Google helps me travel anywhere in the world I'd like to see
Oh gosh yeah geese can really do alot of damage to grass and crops. There's a man I know that has alligator decoys in his pond to keep the geese away. It doesn't really work too well because I think the geese have figured out that they aren't real
That little wren did come to comfort you :) a pleasantly bold little visitor to brighten your day!
I like robins too. To see them usually means springs not too far away but this winter has been so mild. I'm seeing so many birds that are here too soon :/ so I keep the bird feeders full and try to make sure there's something for everyone to eat
Has your depression been better? I bet it hits harder on the days when your tired :(
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Sometimes rambling helps clear the clutter in our thoughts!
If you ever need to get some things said, feel free to reach out!
Things are no worse or no better than they were yesterday. All the depression stuff still at extreme lows. Flashbacks regular and mixed. Brain flickers are regular but random. Some brief, some extreme ( near impossible to come back). Head pulsations and headaches random but regular. Varying levels of pain throughout body. I have not pursued the CTE idea. Barely surviving minute to minute.
My frustration level is at an extremely high level. Not at anything in particular but everything in general.
Simple household chores I can’t even start. It is probably unhealthy, but I look at them and know that I should do them but I then realize I don’t care anymore. I’m so close to throwing away the dirty stuff and just buying new throwaway dishes and clothes so I have clean stuff regularly. But that doesn’t take care of the house part of it.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Hi brother on this earth.
I bless you in the name of Jesus Christ.
Here in Norway where I live - if we cannot clean our house or other things we need because of sickness - the state will give us a person to help us. Can you get that kind of help where you live in America? Or - if the state do not provide the help - do you have the opportunity to rent a person to do the work? From Helga.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I must admit it's nice to see your words but I'm sorry you're struggling with everything that you are. Tbh alot of what you say is similar to how I've been feeling. The depression is horrible - the apathy. How it all just seems so pointless. But the anxiety is just as bad. I have to admit I buy paper plates anymore. Just throw them away afterwards. Ecologically it's bad I'm sure but currently I don't care
Would you be in a position to hire someone to come in once a week for a few hours? They could do the harder tasks - sheets and cleaning? Or what ever you would need done. I think you can add or substitute things each week too if need be
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Thinking about you and glad to see this post from you. You have many supporters here. I think your idea to buy new items rather than cleaning the old ones is a-ok 😉
Your doing the best you can right now and that's all you need to do my friend.
Best always ABB 💜
@amiableBlackberry92
Thank you . I hope you’re doing well.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
The thing is life's got it's ups and downs. It's difficult because some of these ups and downs are out of our control. All we can do sometimes is hang on for dear life and ride the whole thing out the best we can. Your doing the best you can my friend. 🤗 Hugs For you, your not alone you have all these 7cup friends who care about you.
ABB 💜
@ThunderStorms20yrs
Hi friend.
Can we sit down together and have an icecream and coffee?
I hope you'll have many nice meetings with people here at 7Cup.
@Mytwistedsoul
Good morning to you.
I miss you a little bit.
Sunday I was visited by a friend from collage in Haugesund where I had my childhood. She comes once pr. month to visit. This last year she had 2 new hips - working good. She has arthrosis.
Yesterday my cousin came. She also visit me once pr. month. Last year she got a new knee - that's more complicated that a new hip. So young man, maybe you should be glad that your body still is young.
My uncle was in China and bought me a vase. Some days ago I looked at it and it has a blue bird printed.
I also looked at an ashtrade (I don't smoke) I bought in Mallorca, an island in the Mediterranean sea. It has a red robin printed.
From Helga.
@Helgafy Hello :) How are you?
You popped into my thoughts yesterday. There were about 6 bluebirds at the one bird feeder. They were so pretty
I'm glad to hear that your friend is doing so well after two new hips. There's an older man at the feed mill who had a knee replacement a few years ago and they say he has to have his replacement replaced because it's failing
I heard an owl earlier this evening behind the house. Farther away you could hear another one call back
@mytwistedsoul
Friend - thank you for writing.
6 bluebirds! - that's a lot.
I also can hear the owl in spring - but not yet - it's too early. I always find the sound of it funny, it stops singing in the middle of a tune.
Can I say I have love for you - not the love one sex has for the other - but the love one human being has for another human being.
@Helgafy There were 2 eagles yesterday. It was amazing to see them. There are usually a pair of redtail hawks and some falcons but you don't see eagles as often
I think that's absolutely fine for you to say :) If I'm honest I feel the same. Imagine how wonderful the world would be if we all felt love for each other
@mytwistedsoul
2 mess. this morning:
I have about 22 plants in my home, 6 of them are peace lillys - small and big ones.
From my niece I got a white Amaryllis - Barbados lily - for Christmas. It has now 3 big, white flowers.
All for now!
@Helgafy Ah my weakness! Flowers and plants - especially lilies :) I don't have any peace lilies though. Amaryllis are beautiful! And they come in such beautiful colors. I'm glad your's is blooming. They're so nice to see especially during the winter months
@Mytwistedsoul
Good morning to you. Thank you for writing. Eagles - I saw a doc. once about them. They have very good sight.
(edited by amiablePeace77 2/5/2023)
@mytwistedsoul.
I need to write a new mess. here for the rest, the letters became to big.
Well - about the gratest issue: L o v e.
A song: The Beatles, "All you need is love" and self love - maybe what people here at 7Cup work the most to find, Whitney Houston: "Greatest love of all."
@Helgafy There was some concern about the chickens with the Eagles. Yesterday there was a fox in the field near the house
I'm developing a fondness for the Beatles and I've actually heard that song! Whitney Houston is ok. I've listened to a few of her songs. Do you have a favorite singer or group?
@mytwistedsoul.
Good morning to you! Thank you for your reply.
Some birds climbed at my pillow yesterday, comforting me when I went to sleep.
Fox - I got a Christmascard with a fox and a small Santa Claus from the forest sitting beside. The tip of the tail is white. A fairy-tale from my childhood said that it was white because it had been dipped in cream.
More to come......
@mytwistedsoul
2. message:
@Helgafy I'm very careful with the chickens :) they're my feathery friends. I can sit and they come cluck and coo at my feet. We have many conversations together
I've seen ads for that movie. I haven't watched it. She's in a couple of movies. Mad Max beyond Thunderdome is the one that comes to mind
I've heard that song by Aha but I didn't realize they were Norwegian
I found a site that has Norwegian fairy tales but haven't had the chance to read them. I'm curious to read about the foxes tail being dipped in cream :)
I hope you're doing ok