@Iamwhoiamwhoami

😄good to hear from you. Just getting back from out of state visit. I am ok too. Not a lot of changes going on here😊business as usual😂. Keep pushing forward as much as you can. Your friend❤️

@mytwistedsoul

Hi.

I think you have found your way of living at the peaceful place at your farm together with your animals. Maybe this is good for you to read: Psalm 23

@Helgafy Hello friend Helgafy ❤️ How are you? Oh my questions are the usual I suppose. Why we suffer (which is supposed to make me a better person). Why people can hurt others and often go unpunished (agency?) Anyway they're questions I've asked before. I just get frustrated some times probably because those aren't the answers I want. Maybe?

@mytwistedsoul

@Helgafy I wasn't sure how to reply to this tbh. I'm sorry you suffer too 😞 I hope that it isn't too bad for you right now - I hope that you have many good days coming

These are the fawns I was telling you about. The picture isn't the best - they wouldn't stand still lol!

@mytwistedsoul

Soul.

@mytwistedsoul

Friend soul.

@Helgafy Your red deer are larger than the white tail deer we have here. They're beautiful animals. Majestic and regal

@Iamwhoiamwhoami Hey you :) You've been in my thoughts for quite a while now. There was a place mentioned in something I was looking at and I mean it's probably kind of stupid but it will drive me nuts if I don't at least give you a link to check it out. It's in my state and idk where you live but maybe they have an affiliate or something close to you? I guess I hope too that you don't mind me sending it too

https://lancasterbrainandspine.com/

*Sending you good vibes* ❤️

@mytwistedsoul

Thank you for the information and for being in your thoughts. I am nowhere near them but maybe if I get the ambition built up I could email them and try and get some information or something.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami You're welcome :) I'm sorry they're so far from you. That sucks. Figured it couldn't hurt to pass along on the off chance they were closer ❤️ Take care ok?

@mytwistedsoul

Any ideas are always welcome and appreciated.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

Got you on my mind❤️🙏🏽You are worthy, You are Loveable, You are a Friend, Stay Strong.

No reply Needed

@seashell145

Hi friend.

We met at GlenM's site "The problem is the path" and I wanted to write some more to you, so I try to connect with you at "Iam"'s site here since Glen's site is gone.

@Helgafy

Helga, you're so nice. I'm really sorry you have been hurting for the past 18 years, I feel guilty hearing that. I have mostly been hurting for the past 6 years. But I understand or can imagine how it's like to be in pain. And I'm really sorry you're suffering so much.

You are so kind, you sent that beautiful song to me. I'm going to hear it. You're so nice Helga. Sending you lots of love and warmth. I will try to make a blog post where we can talk, but right now I'm a bit tired. I've also seen the post you made in Glen's blog and written the same response there. So much love for you Helga <3 <3

@seashell145

Hi friend.

Thank you so much for responding. This site belongs to "Iam". "Mytwistedsoul" and I wrote a bit comments to "Iam" and started to write here. "Iam" has said he doesn't mind. So I guess he will not mind if you and I write a bit in between also. Hah. You got tired, I got tired too and ate strawberry ice cream and drank coffee. I hope calories are good for me.

All the best from Helga.

@Helgafy

Helga, I'm glad you ate ice cream and took coffee. Hope you get some rest. Of course I can write to you here if you're interested. Sending you lots of love <3

@seashell145

@Helgafy

Thanks for the invitation to the summer party in soul's farm! The arrangement sounds lovely and the food items sound really delicious! Did you guys talk and organize this arrangement or you just imagined it based on previous conversations with them, like maybe they mentioned they enjoy carrot cake and summer parties? Either way, it's wonderful to be a part of it.

It's nice to know about you all. Soul commented on my posts before and I thought he was a female, glad to know he's a man. I think he is a kind person. Haven't interacted with IamwhoIam before, as far as I can remember.

I'm 31, a female from Bangladesh. Seeing your age Helga, I guess when I'm your age I will have many years of pain stored in my collection, that being said I make it to 70 haha. I saw a movie made in Norway the other day, it's called "The Worst Person in the World". There were some beautiful scenery in Oslo, I felt really attracted to the place. It looked rather peaceful.

Do you ever feel like no one cares about you?

@seashell145

So nice to hear from you. And no - the party was all in my imagination. But the carrot cake was for real. Soul earlier told that he made a carrot cake and ate it.

So you're from Bangladesh. Do you know something about your situation why you're tired?

The movie you saw won many prizes. I lived in Oslo for 25 years, working. Then - when I could not work anymore (52) because of health-problems I moved across the country to Bergen to live nearer to my youngest brother and his family and my mother who was living in the town I was born and lived until a became 18 years old (Haugesund). But by moving I experienced what you also wrote about: I could not find friends here. Well - I was a big tree in Oslo with all my roots and leaves (friends, loving Oslo etc.) - so very many hard moments I have had since moving here. Because of health-issues it was impossible for me to move back.

Friend, you ask: "Do you ever feel like no one cares about you?" I am very fortunate. I know I have people who care for me. And I also focus very much on the fact that Jesus Christ loves me and was willing to die for me and me not being perfect so that I could be in contact with God, the Father in heaven.

@Helgafy

First of all, I'm glad you have people who care about you. And the fact that you have faith in God is wonderful too.

It's nice to know you imagined the summer party, and including Soul's carrot cake was a nice touch. I will bring a blanket for all of us to lie down and relax, looking at clouds in the sky, while listening to a relaxing yet fun music. Your imagination is beautiful.

I actually don't know why I feel so tired. It could be iron deficiency, some vitamins deficiency, being overweight and sleep deprivation. So far this is all I know, I don't know if there's something lying underneath.

I'm glad the movie won many prizes. It's so wonderful to know you lived in Oslo. That place looks so lovely. I'm sorry when you went back to Bergen you lost friends and couldn't make any more. I too moved back home from another city and couldn't make friends. But I hope to move again and find friends. It's wonderful how our story matches, it makes me feel like I'm not alone.

I was kidding about having more pain in the store as I age. It might be, but it might also not be, maybe I would have better health in the future. I joked because at first when you said you are in pain for 18 years, I felt guilty, as I mentioned before. But after hearing your age, I was relieved a bit, and felt like, when I age like that, I too will have been gone through some years of pain, so I didn't feel like I had less pain than you and didn't feel guilty anymore haha. But we don't know the future so I don't know how much pain I will go through haha. Sending you lots of love and warmth.<3

(I'm sleepy, will reply to others tomorrow)

Hey :) and welcome to the group @seashell145

Tbh I sort of think it just happened? We imagined it into being? @Helgafy and I wrote to @Iamwhoiamwhoami and then we all just sort of started talking to each other.

Tbh I often feel like I should apologize for not being female. I just see myself as the little bashful rat hiding - like in my pfp. I can give you my word though that I'm a safe person. I'm not a creeper or a pervert or sexist. I hope it doesn't change or affect how we interact. As I told someone else here - I'm still the same Soul. But I also understand if it makes you uncomfortable. I'm sorry

You asked at the end of your post - if you ever feel like no one cares about you - I know it was in reply to Helgafy but I hope you don't mind if I answer too. I feel that way all the time

@mytwistedsoul

Thank you for the answer Soul. I'm sorry you feel that way too, I guess we can wait to see what happens in the following days. Your bio gave me a feeling of catharsis. I too am full of self hatred and self doubt, I'm trying to manage the feelings. Thank you for writing them so clearly.

"Apologize for not being female"- do you mean you feel like a female inside? I don't mind about that. Or do you mean most people perceive you as a female?

You were nice to me in previous replies and you seem to have a good understanding with your emotional situation so I don't feel like you'll be a pervert or anything.

I'm glad we got to talk.

@seashell145

About the summer party, I mean like if you guys actually talked about it how Helga described it, with food items and the sceneries or did Helga write it from her imagination?

@seashell145

Hi Seashell, I am WorkingitThrough2. It is nice to meet you. I may be out of pocket by intruding on you and my Twistedsoul conversation.

But Soul is such a compassionate person to all of us that I was just certain he was a female. I have never seen nor met a male who was so easy to talk to and supportive. When he told me he was a male, I was totally shocked. But he is my Bestest Friend😂 He is a very good friend and Supportive

@WorkingitThrough2 Idk what to say. This is so sweet 🥺 thank you ❤️ I can't remember anyone ever standing up for me this way *hugs*

@mytwistedsoul

That's really nice to know you felt touched Soul. I'm glad Working stood up for you <3

@WorkingitThrough2

Hi.

I hope you can come to out summerparty too!

From Helga.

@Helgafy

I got the grill and meat. Then we can take a dip in the pool😂

🍔🍖we need music🎤🎼

@WorkingitThrough2 Good weather for a pool! It's been hot! I'll let you all decide on the music because my taste runs more heavy metal than most lol

@WorkingitThrough2

Hi friend. So nice you could join the party bringing both grill and meat. If you want to you can tell your age, if you're a man or a woman and in whitch country you live. (The others are presented above). You have a fine day with us here today - if you want to you can bring the rest of your family - your spouse and your daugter. We can do ball-games, but then I think Soul's dog, cat, 4 roosters and 13 hens will come to play with us. I think his horse will be standing still watching.

@WorkingitThrough2

Hello WorkingitThrough, it's nice to meet you. I don't feel interrupted at all, rather I feel validated that I wasn't the only one who felt that way about Soul.

I always imagined males could be compassionate too, though I haven't noticed if I met one. I think I'm going to notice how the males I meet from now on. Can you believe it, we perceive people as male or female just based on how nice they have been to us? It fascinating how males generally have been throughout our lives, though not every male is harsh. But this is some valuable thing I learned right now based on our conversation.

I'm glad he is your best friend and you two have each other. I feel like you are a nice person too though we haven't talked before. Okay, nice to have you on the summer party, we'll talk again soon! Sending you a lot of love and warmth. <3

@seashell145

Hi. Thanks for the blanket. We can tickle each other a little bit so we laugh! And music. Guess what - when I googled and listened to that old song about the heart, another song came up afterwards: "Nothing compares to you" by Sinead O'Connor. So friend - remember that; nothing compares to you (in a good way).

Please sister on this earth, check all your values at the doctor. I take vitamin pills each day. I was low in iron for a period of time and took some pills also for that.

Ha.ha. - take a pill for everything in your life and everything will be fine!

I deeply agree with you in your sentence: "It's wonderful how our story matches, it makes me feel like I'm not alone." as I told you before.

@Helgafy

I will go to the doctor one step at a time, it's really hard for me to do. I have been a victim of bad treatment from the doctors here, I have lost a part of myself, so I have to mentally prepare myself before going to one. It takes a lot of time and multiple attempts. The doctors aren't that much experts either especially with relative things like pain.

@seashell145

I'll send a prayer to our Father in Heaven (I'm a Christian) today that you can do it.

@seashell145 I'm sorry you deal with the self hatred and self doubt too. The two are like a double edged sword in that they feed each other. I don't know how to manage either of them

@mytwistedsoul

Thank you for your compassion Soul. I'm sorry you have worse memory, I imagine it will be hard to manage.

"The two are like a double edged sword in that they feed each other" this is wonderful to learn, it's a nice way you put this into words. Now remembering this will help me self soothe, like using affirmations to remove self doubt.

I didn't think you had bad motives. I got surprised seeing you as a male, and I feel fascinated how I perceived you as a female despite not ever asking you directly. I didn't even ask to myself about your gender, just my mind thought this way. I'm sorry for all the females here who went through difficult experiences from other guys.

@seashell145 You're very welcome. Do affirmations help? I struggle to believe them when I use them

@mytwistedsoul

I find affirmations very helpful for me, for some reason it reminds me of the good things that I have. I understand you finding it hard to believe. If I think of a way that would work- doing one or two that resonates you very well might be helpful. For example, say you know you are kind. Then use this affirmation- "I am kind". After practicing this, then you will grow in other areas of life and then using those affirmations will help too. I read a blog by someone with BPD who said affirmations don't work for them, rather getting insights help them. But a youtuber with BPD said, "Hating ourselves is easy, all day we say many negative things to ourselves, what would happen if we said positive things instead?" Something like this. I like her approach better because it gives me hope. I don't have BPD but I follow some of their coping mechanisms and apply them in my life to manage my emotions.

So I just want to say, in my experience, it's not possible to always think positive thoughts but we can try to think one positive thought each day. Over time it will grow, that's what I believe. Hope this was helpful for you.

Yes, I agree. Some people use this site as a dating app. But ever since I started to interact only in the forum sections and became very choosy about listeners, I haven't found these people for a while. I actually forgot about them.

You're welcome that my assurance helped you. Yes, it's hard going to the doctor, and the feeling that I have to go recently causes me a lot of stress. And you know, I have to visit doctors so many times it feels like it doesn't end. Especially the trauma turned my world upside down, and how the doctors here treat me, not many doctors are respectful here. I have doctor phobia.

@seashell145 I'm glad they work for you. You're right - we could try to think of at least one positive thought a day. I'll admit I should try harder with them. That blog is right too - about saying bad things all day - what if we were to switch it up and say positive things instead? Even just changing one negative thought to a positive would help a little. I do need to work on my gratitude. I am seriously lacking in that area. An affirmation for that would be good too. Because there are good things in my life and I should appreciate them more. Thank you!