My daily ramblings
I am finally going to follow the lead and try and avoid posting in multiple different places. I am going to try and do most of my rambling in this thread.
My cognitive issues are making it harder and harder for me to focus on multiple things. That combined with my laundry list of other issues, makes functioning at all near impossible.
Having to go through medication experimentation again is going to make it even harder.
Whenever I have to refocus because I literally can’t remember blocks of time or where I am and why I’m here kinds of things , I’m usually able to come here and figure out through my posts and profile etc.
That has proven to not work very well at times. I wondered if I centralized my thoughts here that maybe that might work better.
That also keeps me from being a distraction from those who are more deserving than I.
It all needs to stop, no more of this . This is too much to bear, especially when it is all mine. If I knew it was everyone else’s pain too(and they were rid of theirs), I’d be glad to carry it.
But just mine is not a burden I can handle anymore.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Brother on this earth.
I ask the blood of the Lamb, Jesus Christ who died on the cross and rose from the grave for you and me to COVER! you and your whole existense.
This confusion, and then figuring out that I am a completely messed up person who has no future. And suffers so much every minute of every day. Why do I have to keep experiencing that too. The messed up visions/memories. Haunting me, taunting me..,,
I’m now applying for things I don’t remember applying for. This is getting beyond ridiculous. I’m so flipping confused.
That was a big mistake, I need to quit exploring this place. Smothered in positivity, making my negativity boil….panic/anxiety attack.
I would prefer just hiding in the corner, watching the people enjoying themselves. I don’t like being noticed. It’s hard enough watching people feeling emotions, much less being noticed as the one who doesn’t feel.
I’m trying to stay in my place. I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade. I have no positivity to share.
Having visions of holidays as a child. Not cool.
I’m not comfortable with this at all. A few recent traumas thrown in …why…….
Get out of my head!!!! I don’t need to be constantly reminded. Then lose memories then regain them then lose them then regain them. Always the bad never any good.
