Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #8) When you don't get the role you want
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Hello, students! Let's talk leadership!
Many of you have or will apply for certain roles that interest you! And some times we get it and some times we don't! It can be difficult to find out that we didn't get the role, but we can control how we react to it.
Here are some DOs and DON'Ts:
- DO talk to the leader of the role that you applied for and get some input on what you can/need to do in order to get the role next time! Be aware though most leaders of these roles are busy so give it some time!
- DON'T bring the issue into the support rooms. If you are upset, talking to a peer supporter about how you are feeling is ok!
- DO take some self-care, self-care is good for any occasion but its best to deal with those feelings of failure or disappointment outside of 7 cups, things like going on your member account can be so helpful to overcome some of these feelings
- DON'T think that you are obligated to stay on 7 cups right after finding out bad news, especially if you are in LSR/TL and you see other listeners who have gotten the role that you wanted! It can be hard to deal with and it can cause unneeded jealousy or hurt on your part! Not everyone is like this but if you think that this is a possibility that you can think this way staying away might be a great option!
- DON'T take it personally, everyone is ready at different times. It can be hard for us to realize this but just because someone got the role and they might have been here in less or the same amount of time doesn't mean that you personally are ready! Everyone grows and accomplishes things at different times!
- DO get a mentor, in general its a good idea to get a mentor but for things like your goals on 7 cups mentors can be great and helpful! They can give you feedback, do mock chats with you, and overall help you with your goals as I said before!
- DON'T think you have to apply for every role and every team out there! There is time you don't have to apply for everything! Its super easy to burnout that way, and that can lead to more "rejection" and hurt that none of us want!
*Never let not getting a role the first time discourage you! You will be told when you can apply again and use the feedback that you get to better yourself when you can/decide that you are ready to! practice makes perfect none for us are perfect and no one will ever be! Its a good thing to remember no matter your role as a listener your help is greatly appreciated and you are still helping so many people!*
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would be okay, knowing that this doesn't mean that I am not worth it. I would ask the leader what are the areas I can improve and then thank them for taking the time out for all of that.
@anotherfrenchtoastmafiaa
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. It's great you recognise that not getting a role does not change your worth, this is definitely a phrase I'm storing away to remind myself in the future!
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would ask for feedback as to what I could do to improve and try again when I'm ready.
@lovelyParadise7651 brief and well put! :)
I would likely struggle with feeling insufficient—like I am not good enough. But I am on a personal path of growth to overcome my defaulting to those feelings, so I would keep in mind that everyone progresses at a different pace, and that I simply wasn’t ready for that role yet. I would thank the leader for their response, and I would ask them for feedback about how I could improve and what I can do to contribute to the community in my own way.
@Dinohorus
Thank you for being open and honest about feeling insufficient. I'm definitely working on this too and it's good to feel I'm not in it alone =)
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
I should ask for feedback and do my best to stay calm and listen to it carefully and work on the points that are raised. I should also express gratitude to the person who has reviewed the application and given feedback as these are people in leadership roles who are very busy and I appreciate their time and expertise. This can be hard to acknowledge in the face of disappointment, so I need to take extra care to remember this point. Depending on the situation and how I am feeling it may be appropriate to take extra time for self care activities, take a short break from the site or connect with a peer supporter.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
"Thank you for letting me know, I really appreciate the time you took to review my application. I am still interested in this role and would like to apply again in the future. Are you able to provide feedback so I can work on the skills I will need to be successful in this role? "
@Gozzil
I love that you would actively seek out feedback! That's a great way to ensure personal growth! 🙂
I was in this very situation about 3 months ago, I applied to be a peer supporter and unfortunately didn't make the cut. I graciously thanked the person who told me and asked for the areas I fell short in. Kept being a listener here on 7 cups and recently applied for the role again and got it this time round. Perseverance is really the key!
@Azalea98 that is so matured of you. I am praying for you for the best.
@Azalea98
Loved your responce! Yes, perseverance is a key to success. Congrats on your new role 
@Azalea98
I am really glad you got in the next time around! Cheers for your efforts and patience.
@Azalea98
I admire your modesty, efforts, patience, and perseverence. Those traits are necessary to have for great leaders <3 congrats on your new role!
I’m glad you did not give up and applied for the role again and got approved! Congrats! ❤️@Azalea98
@Azalea98
I`m sorry to hear this has happened to you, but I can tell you have had a lot to learn out of this experience <3 I pray for you!
That is really good KeepUp the good work and you can go far with roles here .@Azalea98
@Azalea98
And now you have an inspiring story to tell. Love it!
(●'◡'●)
@Azalea98
It really is!
@Azalea98
Your an amazing person, I realy do look up to you. You inspire me to do better!
@Azalea98
Loved your reply Azy 
@Azalea98
perserverance really is the key that was very awesome of you, great job!
@Azalea98
That's so inspiring! Really proud of you!
@Azalea98
That's so inspiring! Really proud of you!
@Azalea98
I think it's great that this is an experience you have already had and I learnt a lot from your share. I appreciate your honesty and I hope you managed to find the position you wanted :)
Best of luck on your LDP Journey!
@Azalea98
thats amazing, so happy for you!
@Azalea98
Congrats! I agree perseverance is the answer to failure!
Congratulations @Azalea98! Sometimes it isn't that we aren't good for the role - sometimes the leaders just want us to take some time and improve so we can be at the top of our game!
@Azalea98
Aw I'm sorry to hear that you didn't make the cut. I hope that you eventually got in though!
@Azalea98
That's amazing, wishing you the best
@Azalea98
I am happy to hear you ended up getting the role eventually, all you have to do is try and try again and if you need to improve make a plan of your next steps.
@Heather225
if something like that happens to me, honest to say that I would be a bit relieved to know yet a bit disapointed at the same time. Of course there will be some sadness consuming me. I'll thank the leader who has informed me for let me knowing this. well it's better I do know that I'm knowing I don't get it. I'll accept anyhing that comes to me because I know it's for the best for myself.
@kdsyahirah
Yes! I like your thought that, everything that happens is for the best of ourselves in one way or the other. Seeing a room for improvement on these situations help us to grow as an individual
@kdsyahirah
I really adore and appreciate the open-minded perspective you have here!
@kdsyahirah
It can be a little disappointing to not get a role, but we can always work harder and try again! We might not get it right on the first try, and that's perfectly okay. You got this, I believe in you!
@kdsyahirah
I agree that disappointment would always come into the mix when you don't get a role. But I really like the way you see it, where you will get what is best for you
Overall, an amazing answer! Good job
@kdsyahirah
That's so sweet Khalifa <3
@kdsyahirah
I love the way you accept things even though you might be feeling down about it.
@kdsyahirah
thanking the leader is a great idea, it shows appreciation and respect. keep up the great work!
@kdsyahirah
That's a great attitude towards such a situation. Some things fall apart so better things can fall together?
@kdsyahirah
I greatly appeciate your honesty that you will be disappointed but will be able to move forward and grow through it. I agree that whatever comes up can be something to grow through and develop the self through.
Best of luck on your LDP Journey !
@kdsyahirah
Love the way you accept things!
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role,
*) How should you respond?
After analyzing it myself for a bit, I would ask for feedback so that I could make sure I'm fit for it before applying the next time
*) What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would thank them for taking time to inform me and providing me the feedback and ask them for a bit of guidance on things I need to improve 
@DreamTouch
I am glad about your positive take on this. This is helpful!
@DreamTouch
Asking for feedback can be scary, I'm proud of you for being willing to reach out for it, Dream!
@DreamTouch never think of it but either way I'll pray you for the best.
Well said @DreamTouch
@DreamTouch
Feedback definitely helps to improve yourself in a lot of ways
Impressive answer overall
@DreamTouch
Really a great response!
@DreamTouch
That's a good thing to do.
@DreamTouch Feedback before re-applying sounds good
@DreamTouch
Awesome response!
@Heather225
Well, It would be disheartening for sure but at the same time, if at all you have been eligible to apply for a role if naturally implies you are in some sense mature and open-minded. So I would have taken it normally and I would have continued being the best listener I can be.
@wishfulMoment42
Yes, focusing on what you can do (ie. be as good of a listener as you can be), is a great way to redirect your focus from not getting the role you wanted. I'm glad to see your committed to doing a good job no matter what
@wishfulMoment42
I like how you mentioned the maturity and open-mindedness. Also I agree that the best and helpful way to accept 'rejection' is to keep doing things that we love, the best way we can.
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would thank them for taking the time to review my application and for putting in so much effort into the team they're leading. I would then request feedback from the leader in charge of giving feedback, and work on what I can improve on. I can also take time to work on my skills, and gain more experience, as well as find a mentor to help me.
@hopebeyondpain
being thankful is always a good thing to do those things on your list are helpful, thank you for sharing
@Chevy81
Succinct and to the point
Such a great response! 😊 @hopebeyondpain
@hopebeyondpain
Well said!
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
I would accept it, maybe not instantly. I would need to process it, to think about what things I should improve and which area I should practice more. And the most important thing, I would ask to the person informed me, some feedback. And if possible, I would try to re-apply when I'm more ready.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would say thank you for informing me because I would appreciate to get informed than have no clue if my application was approved or declined. Then I would ask them some feedback and maybe discussion on how I could be better.
@Chevy81 very well thought!
@Chevy81
I agree with you. Having no clue about our application can be exhausting & discouraging.
@Chevy81 It's a very thoughtful reply Chevy loved it