Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #8) When you don't get the role you want
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Hello, students! Let's talk leadership!
Many of you have or will apply for certain roles that interest you! And some times we get it and some times we don't! It can be difficult to find out that we didn't get the role, but we can control how we react to it.
Here are some DOs and DON'Ts:
- DO talk to the leader of the role that you applied for and get some input on what you can/need to do in order to get the role next time! Be aware though most leaders of these roles are busy so give it some time!
- DON'T bring the issue into the support rooms. If you are upset, talking to a peer supporter about how you are feeling is ok!
- DO take some self-care, self-care is good for any occasion but its best to deal with those feelings of failure or disappointment outside of 7 cups, things like going on your member account can be so helpful to overcome some of these feelings
- DON'T think that you are obligated to stay on 7 cups right after finding out bad news, especially if you are in LSR/TL and you see other listeners who have gotten the role that you wanted! It can be hard to deal with and it can cause unneeded jealousy or hurt on your part! Not everyone is like this but if you think that this is a possibility that you can think this way staying away might be a great option!
- DON'T take it personally, everyone is ready at different times. It can be hard for us to realize this but just because someone got the role and they might have been here in less or the same amount of time doesn't mean that you personally are ready! Everyone grows and accomplishes things at different times!
- DO get a mentor, in general its a good idea to get a mentor but for things like your goals on 7 cups mentors can be great and helpful! They can give you feedback, do mock chats with you, and overall help you with your goals as I said before!
- DON'T think you have to apply for every role and every team out there! There is time you don't have to apply for everything! Its super easy to burnout that way, and that can lead to more "rejection" and hurt that none of us want!
*Never let not getting a role the first time discourage you! You will be told when you can apply again and use the feedback that you get to better yourself when you can/decide that you are ready to! practice makes perfect none for us are perfect and no one will ever be! Its a good thing to remember no matter your role as a listener your help is greatly appreciated and you are still helping so many people!*
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I'd first tell myself it's okay. That there was definitely a good reason as to why I was denied. After that I'dd ask for feddback and try again!
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
I just couldnt care life is just way too short to ever be bothered about why I didnt get a leadership role that I wouldnt even get paid for. Leadership is responsibility and hard work and the higher the level of leadership, the more responsibility and the more hard work. Leadership is never any sort of indication that I have a better character or that I am smarter, and volunteer leaders who think that are not only wrong, they can also develop really narcisstic and delusional attitudes as a result, so I dont care if Im a leader or a worker, especially if Im not even getting paid If I feel like doing a leadership role, there are always other volunteer leadership roles to apply for.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Thanks for your swift reply, have a great day.
I acknowledge that I am not the only one who apply for the role. There are so many more ambitious and talented people out there that also run for the same position. If I don't get the role I want, I will take that as a lesson and reflect on what I still miss and can do better on. Also, I can look for other ways that I can contribute to the community until I get in another role.
@Heather225
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
I'd be upset at first but try not to take it personly, I'll get a mentor and make sure I will on my way of improving and try it again.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I'd say thank you and ask for feedback and some advice.
@dancingMoment7201
Understandable to be upset. I liked how you said you would ask for feedback on it!
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would feel sad, but it's important to remember not to take it personally. We can get self-care or a mentor to help us improve.
I would let a leader know thank you for letting me know, and what might I work towards to be able to achieve the role.
@EvelyneRose
Agreed, not taking it personally can be so helpful!
@Heather225
I will be sad and disappointed. But I will ask the leader for feedback to see what I can improve for the future.
@Vintagechoc I definitely agree with asking feedback part!
@Heather225
I love this one, not getting the roles can be discouraging and sometimes hard to not take personally!
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would probably feel discouraged at first & take some time to reflect on it and myself on how I could do better and be better prepared for the role. I would probably ask the leader for the feedback on how I could do better!
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
actually i would be dissapointed at the first moment, wouldn't even respond at first but wouldn't take much longer before i remember why i care so much for cups and talk myself thtough the fact that roles aren't the purpose but the tool and i can get the tool later, better focus on purpose!
and about the leader who informed me, there is nothing but thanks for letting me know to say, they probably have provided what i miss or when i can re-apply (that's how the process usually works) but if they haven;t i would ask for that info!
@Heather225
Questions
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
Reflect on the reasons why I wasn't given such role, reflect on whether that role was actually meant and designed for me, take some self-care if needed and require additional feedback if needed.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Thank them for their service, ask for improvement areas in case I still want to apply and get that given role, mostly don't make it personal, and thank again!
@WatchingOverYou
I like how you take it as an opportunity for reflection and learning.
Great answer !
@WelcomeToChat
Well, thank you!
Way to go @WatchingOverYou
@DonaldDraper
Likewise, great Don! *Hugs* Happy to have you tag me :)
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
- Talk to the leader of the role I applied for, and ask what I can do to get the role next time.
- Take some self-care.
- Talk to my Mentor.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
“Thank you for letting me know. I know it’s tough to give bad news, so I appreciate your frankness in telling me. TBH, I am sorry to hear that, because I really want to contribute in that role. I would like to ask you if we could arrange a chat, or you could tell me in a message, what can I do to get this role next time. Thank you !”
Way to go @WelcomeToChat
@WelcomeToChat
Incredible answer, incredible person!
@Daf8
Gracias Daf por tus afectuosas palabras!
Sos un angel !
Aunque soy de otra generacion mas vieja (todavia mas golpeada !) que la tuya, me gustarías ser tu amigo virtual en 7Cups, donde tenes mas experiencia que yo (casi acabo de llegar).
Mas alla de eso, quedo desde ahora a tu disposicion en este sitio, para lo que te sirva.
Cariños,
Marcelo
@WelcomeToChat
Thank *you* for your ultra kind words! You are the angel here. Even if we can't PM, because we belong to different sides of the site, I would love to be your friend! In addition, it doesn't look like you have less experience... And I'm here for you too
With affection,
Daf
@WelcomeToChat
If I found out I was not given a role, I would reach out to the leader of the group that I want to join and see if that person could give me some suggestions on ways I can improve in areas needed for the role. I would also try to connect with a mentor who might be able to help me.
To leader who informed me, I would say thank you for letting me know. Would you have a few minutes to chat with me about what I can do to improve myself in the skills needed for the role? Or could you make some suggestions for a mentor to help me gain the skills needed for the role.
@KindnessMatters2020 That sounds like a good way to deal with the disappointment and work towards getting the role in the future.
@KindnessMatters2020
This is an amazing response! Asking for feedback is crucial!
@KindnessMatters2020 That's a very decent approach to the situation. Thanks for sharing ~
@WelcomeToChat
Very well done!
@WelcomeToChat
I love that you thought about doing self-care and taking time to reflect. Nice work!
@KindnessMatters2020
Thank you !
@WelcomeToChat
Taking self care is important as we are often upset not getting the role.
@Asherwolfice
Totally agree.
Roles are service, not food for our pride.
@WelcomeToChat - I so love the script for speaking with the leader who shared the news with you. Well said!
@WonderfulRainbows2862
Thank you !!!
@WelcomeToChat
I think this was an awesome response! Talking to your mentor is a great idea! I also loved the quote of what you would say at the bottom.
@cocoakrispies121
Thank you !
@WelcomeToChat these are really helpful things you mention. Thanks for sharing them.
@soulsings
Thank you for your kind words !
I feel honored, coming from you.
Marcelo.
@WelcomeToChat
Accurate and on point! <3
@Ines1229
Thank you, Ines, for your compliments!
Kind regards,
Marcelo
Great points made !
“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” Winston Churchill