Eva’s Crazy Mind
i’ve wanted to make a forum post like that for quite a while now, but never brought myself to actually make it. here i will write up all sorts of thoughts and vents, everything i need to get off my mind. it’s not gonna be positive or motivational, not even close. i personally don’t recommend reading it just because it doesn’t help lol. you’re welcome to read, replies are okay, just be aware that it’s gonna be a pretty dark place. i don’t usually ask for help despite telling everybody to. idk why. i’m not a very good example of what’s right to do. TW just in case, not planning to go that far but who knows.
i’m making myself this space because sometimes you can feel lonely while being surrounded by a million people and that’s nobody’s fault.
best wishes to you. ❤️
my brother is doing the protesting against school again. i’m already half an hour late to school, we haven’t left the house and it’s an at least 30 minute drive. my mom called my dad, but here’s the plot twist, my dad asked if i could be driven to school and my mom said “no” because apparently it’s my fault that he went to sleep late (no idea how me studying in my room disturbs his sleep but whatever) and my dad asked something like “how’s it her fault? isn’t she in her room?” and my mom replied with “oh she basically lives her whole life in that room” uh like sorry about that? that’s on me yeah uh and then she said that i never listen to her, don’t know what she meant by that but yes i take the blame, now she’s on the phone with him again and she’s talking about how i’m such a bad role model for them, i have the worst relationship and communication skills with my mom, oh oh and she said “i have 3 *** in my house” (i believe that’s me and my 2 siblings) so that’s fun, theenn she’s kinda blaming my dad now that we shouldn’t stay up late at his either (they’re not together with my mom but still get along normally yk) lmao and now she’s telling my dad about how she’s trying to be very understanding and supportable about me but as soon as she turns her back i’m “on that phone again” (classical phone blaming lmao).
don’t we just love life?
@justmeeva I am so sorry :0 it sounds like she’s trynna blame anyone but herself. None of that was your fault :0 *hugs if okay*
@justmeeva
*offers huggies* 💙
@unassumingEyes @LoveMyMoonflowers
*hugs the both of you* 🩷
@justmeeva
🥺💙
i’m at my dad’s tonight and he talked to me. he told me about how my mom has told him about me going to sleep late, he told me to try to be a good role model, to try to communicate and get along with my mom better etc etc. notice the similarities? yeah, i did too. he’s a good man, my dad. he told me about how he wants things at home to be okay, how he can’t really help that much (talking about my brother) but there’s plenty of things we can do, how he wants things for my mom to be easier. i’m not mad at him at all, i understand, it just bothers me that he’s so quick to believe the things my mom says, although the things my mom says are not at all correct all the time, rather just her point of view. i have a good and healthy relationship with my dad and i don’t want that to be changed. i don’t want him to believe bad stuff about me that my mom has overreacted with. i don’t want him to blame me just because my mom does. i hope he doesn’t believe everything my mom says.
this makes me wonder, if she “backtalks me” in front of me, has she complained about me behind my back too..? honestly, i wouldn’t be surprised, but still.
@justmeeva I hope your dad realizes the truth ❤️ *hugs if oki frnd*
man i can’t with those people. when i got to school, they (classmates) were backtalking others again. they commented on people’s clothes, their body types, their interests, the most random things. just let the poor people exist. as a someone who has had and also currently has tons of insecurities and reasons to be made fun of, i know how terrible it feels. can you really not find any other ways to entertain yourselves? right now, one of the girls said to a boy “i like your pants”. it was so obviously fake. it was so obviously sarcasm. i felt terrible for the boy. he kept a smile on his face but i know he knew she didn’t mean it in a good way. why do people do stuff like that? why?
i hate to see my cups friends suffer. i hate to see them feeling lonely. i hate to see them losing hope. i hate the way they get treated horribly. i hate it how they’re not understood. i hate it how things just seem to be getting worse. i hate it how i want to help every one of them but i can’t because in reality, i’m afraid i’m following that path aswell..
@justmeeva You help just by being there. You help by just saying you’re here, you understand. You help more than you realize, but you help anyways ❤️ and I hope we can help you some too ❤️
@unassumingEyes
*hugs if okay*
🩷🩷🩷
@justmeeva *hugs* (i always hug in my head and forget to type it. Silly me :0)
@unassumingEyes
I saw this earlier but didn’t reply then :') I agree wholeheartedly.🥺💗
i’m like really, really close to giving up on absolutely everything right now.
@justmeeva
*sits with you if okay*
@LoveMyMoonflowers
thank you.. 🩷
and there comes my mom somehow managing to make things even worse than they already are.
@justmeeva
it sucks when people do that 😞 i’m sorry buddy.
