Eva’s Crazy Mind

ever feel like.. guilty? about going to sleep too early? i mean 1:30am isn’t that early and i’m not going to sleep just yet, but it also.. is..? 

if you ever think i’m selfish, just know that i haven’t left yet because i’m not heartless. how do i leave my little siblings without a big sister or my parents without their first child or my friends without a friend?

“do you get déjà vu, huh?” 

a smile does not fit me. 

i was not supposed to eat that lmao. 

i wasn’t supposed to eat anything but i knew that wouldn’t work out 

but atp who cares?

*my tomorrow self giving me a death stare rn*

i have like- over 100 depressing comforting songs in a playlist

and i love that playlist 

it has become a part of my nightly routine lol

why am i randomly saying just everything-

nah but the worst food choice award goes to eva 

and then i complain about looking ~unpretty~ the next day xD

(never been pretty o_o)

*** why am i saying those stuff it’s so not good for my “reputation”-

aaanyways. ~

i’m a little insane rn

i’m just talking unimportant nonsense rn don’t mind it 

feel like it’s because of me O_o

oh also knowing me, i’m gonna get pretty.. bad. after this insanity time. 

because it usually means that my brain’s fooling me into thinking everything’s okay, when in reality it’s just to ignore something.. bad. or something that would lead to bad. 

:D :D :D

better enjoy being fake okay while i can then :D

can’t wait for the time when everyone goes to sleep and i’m alone in my room, in the dark, at night.. that’s gonna be fun

because this fake okayness won’t last forever

lmao i can already feel it sloooowly fading away

cool..

i talk so much. 

too much-

not that hard if you ask me.

(that’s where the ignorance has almost gone away..)

(and the thoughts are starting to get to me.)

(but not yet. i’m not alone, by myself, in darkness, yet.)

(but soon.)

i’ll brb. but by that time, i’ll have darkness with me. 

back.

i’m.. kinda tempted to do something that’ll bring back memories and trigger flashbacks. 

i’m.. kinda tempted to do something that’ll bring back memories and trigger flashbacks.