Eva’s Crazy Mind

to read some messages. 

to think about some special moments. 

it’s a bad idea and will not end. 

but.. it almost feels like i have to. 

like i need it. 

though it’s gonna *** me up even more. 

i do need to finish one homework.. that means i might just get tired enough for it all to not happen 

so we’ll see how it’s gonna go. 

but my mind’s already taken over by the darkness, that’s for sure. 

we’ll see. 

okay so.. basically, nvm, i won’t do the homework because i’ll just finish it at school, plus, come on, this mind’s not gonna get me anywhere even if i tried. 

that means.. that it’s basically inevitable now.

my brain’s telling me not to do it, because it’s gonna hurt. both mentally and physically.

my heart’s saying i don’t want to forget the happiness i used to have. 

my brain and heart are at war right now. 

“listen to your heart” they say. should i?

it doesn’t matter anyway. i don’t matter anyway. *** it. 

there we go again. 

*** no i can’t i can’t read those i can’t 

breathe eva breathe. 

flashbacks. 

tears. 

pain. 

and then.. my solution. 

…

oh apparently i’m not done yet nvm. 

…

“enough?”

”think so.”

now what…

i’m so *** up lmao. 

it’s.. pretty terrifying if i’m honest. 

tears, again. 

pain, again. but this time, not just one kind. 

help me. 

i wish those moments never *** happened 

i wish those memories were never *** created

i wish you never even *** talked to me

i wish we never *** met

but who am i kidding.. no i don’t..

i’m just sick of this *** pain