Eva’s Crazy Mind

@justmeeva Exactly! The world is a lot different now. The pressures come from some many different directions now. Even if they say they'll listen they just tell you that you're too young to feel that way. And then tell you how wrong you are about everything else you think or feel ."What have you got to be depressed about?" Or that you don't have any idea about stress and then they berate you for a poor grade. None of this gives anybody the warm fuzzies at the thought of trying to talk with their parents 

“your kindness is a blessing!” 

yeah, to everyone else but me it is. 

3:13am. i- should probably go to sleep. goodnight 🩷💕

@justmeeva

good night eva friend 💗 i hope you'll sleep well <3

guilt. 

*overthinking*

the urge to cut my own hair is becoming bigger and bigger day by day-

but there’s no way anything good would come out of it. so i really should not. 

but atp who knows

“no offence but *** you all”- 

(not about cups ppl and it’s pretty random.)

“the ways in which you talk to me

have me wishing i were gone.”

which reminds me.. of something i don’t wanna remember or think about rn so nvm (:

i’m okay rn btw (well, or at least not not okay), i’ll just throw some random thoughts here lol. 

absolute nonsense:

i feel weird. but like the emotion kind of feeling not the physical kind of feeling but it also kinda is a physical feeling but it’s like emotionally affecting the physical feeling you know? (don’t lie no you don’t lol /lh even i don’t)

like it’s not a physical feeling but i can feel it physically.

okay one really weird thing about me is that if i watch like a movie or a video or smt like that, i literally like adopt the mood and the personality and the way they talk. i- idk how to explain it but uh yeah that’s what we have going on right now 

@justmeeva

we can be weird together. 💜 i've always had this exact same thing :P seriously, not kidding at all. 

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

i’m sorry i literally- have no words other than the different types of “*hugs*” and emojis (and they’re not even words-)- all vocabulary just flew out of the window

@justmeeva

*big hugs* 

twinsies :p 💜

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

*hugsss* that i can do :p

@justmeeva

ugh the heart limit is so annoying so… i’m just gonna… 

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

ikr like what are we supposed to do, write “*(username) upvoted your post*” under everything or?? smhh 

@justmeeva

ikr 😭😭😭 

(i’m sorry if this made eva friend uncomfy or anything) 

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

no no the opposite actually don’t worry

@justmeeva

mhm 💜 i’m sorry, i posted that right before i saw your reply lol 

nvm 😅🥺

@justmeeva i do that with books. Suddenly im speaking the same way as a character in the books! And my sis looks at me all weird xD 

when did communication in every way become so- impossible to do?

i hate this place so much. 

i think that if they come to me to ask why i’m not outside yet, i’ll have to hold back tears when i speak cause that’s the way i am.

i’m so cold. 

i hate everything about the situation i’m in right now. so many people around me (especially the type i need to avoid), a completely unfamiliar place - i was lost because i have no idea how to- go anywhere- around here- and idk what i’d do if my mom didn’t help me a bit, i hate this so much. 

and the teacher. if it were another teacher she would’ve made sure everyone got home and knew how to do that. but not that one. i’m just- doing something. going somewhere. waiting for a bus at the hopefully correct stop.

in the bus ok so

we were brought to some museum-ish but also not (how nice of a description) place where we roleplayed basically what it’s like to be a politician. i laughed. i felt good. i felt included most of the time there. seems nice right? no- i know it sounds selfish and weird and doesn’t make any sense and makes me sound ungrateful and ***, but you don’t understand. that’s literally one of the worst things life can do to me. i’m not even gonna explain it all rn. but uh *** you life. 

oh and i also got introduced to some disgusting traumatising things humans do that just prove how *** up this world is,.. hmm..

it’s not fair. it’s not *** fair. 

“oh but life isn’t fair” literally ***. 

breakfast time lmao. 

tw

god she’s talking about my arms again. just- stop-