Eva’s Crazy Mind

it’s pretty crazy how i can pretend to be happy and laugh and smile when i have to. they won’t know unless i let them. and i won’t. 

my grandma hugged me when we were leaving and said “you’re doing so well, keep it up” :’) :’) 

i’m sorry

bbl. 

tw.

the way every time i ride in the car, i imagine that same scenario. me being in a car crash. picking up my phone. coming to cups. this thread. i know what i’d write. mmm.

my vent pinterest board: “567 pins” 

:’)

my dreams man- that’s not *** fair. don’t- don’t *** do this to me i- ..

..

that song. 

was by him. 

..

it makes me wanna cry. :’)

sometimes i wish i had my own little place to live, all by myself, so i could just.. do my own stuff.. and slowly fade away.

she’s talking about my *** arms again

“when will we see you without those sleeves?” 

“are they healing?”

”are they still visible?” 

“summer’s coming” 

oh right because i didn’t notice. 

little does she know.. (;

tw sh.

i still remember the way my mom said “i really don’t understand what there could possibly be so bad in your life that it makes you cvt yourself” 🙃

tw. 

she hit him. again. 

tw.

and shouted. a lot. 

and she’s driving pretty fast. because we’re about to be late. 

lowkey hope we crash <3

i’m really not in a good mental state or headspace to be at school right now. 

ngl, if i had it with me, i might’ve used it.

context: my classmates don’t really like our school, i’m in the classroom with a boy who’s kinda the class clown (idk why that’s important).

“will you stay in this school?” 

“yeah”

“will you finish 9th grade here?” 

“mhm” 

but little does anyone know, i won’t finish 9th at all. i likely won’t even get there. 

however, i will be ending something else..

🙃

mental health awareness month? how about mental health awareness year. every year. some people could use that. 

gtg. 

.. why was that necessary?

no. no no no no no. 

you’re *** kidding me right:

nope i’m done.

soon.

idk how much longer i can do this honestly. 

@justmeeva *hugs if ok* 

@unassumingEyes 

*hugs* <3

@justmeeva @unassumingEyes 

*hugs you both if okie* 💕

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

*hugs you* <3

one day i’ll actually give up. 

today was ***. 

my head was filled with uh.. unsafe thoughts. all day. it’s not even unusual atp but today was like.. extra. 

everyone keeps mentioning the future that i don’t have.