Loneliness on 7Cups

It is coming to the end of another long lonely year and I still wonder why I am here other than to suffer the pain of being alone and not having the joy of intimacy. The many years of having intimacy in my life and feeling loved and special makes these years even harder knowing what I am missing. I am so tired of being tired and alone. I don

@bgdave it is truly a gift for your memories with your mother and grandmother! I have some wonderful memories with both as well as very brief but wonderful memories with two great grandmothers! Sadly I have no relationship with my mother – her choice – and my grandmother of course is past. I tend a march along through life pretty positively but when things get rocky is when my lack of ongoing support really shows. 😔 I think asking ourselves the right questions as well as giving the answers is very helpful at times....We have the answers within us… Very often involves help… But sometimes it

Thank you for your post i myself am struggling badly with depression my fiancée of eight years dumped me out of no where all my friends support him I have a few friends who have been amazing but I can

I'm glad to read this post. For the past few years I have been on and off forums in the hopes that I might make some online connections. I made a few in my early twenties on one forum (it was a very friendly, albeit very cliquey forum), but people move on and I left that forum. Part of me has always hoped to make online connections again, but I never have. I think it's actually very difficult to make friends on forums, generally. It's easy to get lost together as a sea of names, an ocean of problems and fears and sadness. I think it can be hard to individualise members, mostly you just see thread topics and reply if the subject speaks to you. Some forums are more like an ocean of names and difficulties, others you can pick people out in the conversations and feel like PMing someone. It really depends on the forum, I've found. But people get lost together in subforums on most, I would say.

Well, anyone is welcome to PM me, I think I've had PMs from listeners that have made me go "ah!" (social anxiety), so I'd probably just go "ah!" again, but I shouldn't. It's funny how you avoid and run away from things that you want, ha ha.

@MeMyselfAndHer

Quite late to this thread, but wanted to say you're not alone

I feel the same way. I live in a small town where everyone knows each other and everyone is really judgmental. My family is also really negative so I'm often really alone

...

I am feeling sad today

@destinyhope123

Me, too. What's going on with you?

@KestraJean

i broke up with my boyfriend

@destinyhope123

That's always difficult. Are you taking care of yourself? Talking to anyone about it?

@KestraJean

no

@destinyhope123

Well you should. Hearts take some time to heal.

I'm frustrated, sad, and lonely.

I don't get out much

I don't have many friends that don't kids or married or both.

My ex died jan 2017 and he was the last one to handle and understand me.

My hormones has me all over

Hi @Rebekahwriter13 I know you posted this over a year ago, but I just want you to know youre not alone in this situation :) I, too, dont go out very much or have many friends that arent married/ with kids/ busy with their own lives.

I hope youve found some new friends since then, and also peace and love ❤️

@SailingFox No I haven't as I have too many angry moods and I just chase everyone away. No one want a sad and mad person. I'm still a lone and will be alone.

I know I'm being selfish, but I'm upset that my ex isn't able to be friends with me without having false hope that I'll fall in love with him again. I know I should give him space and I will but I don't have to like it. I feel abandoned even though I don't have the right to. I'm alone and friendless. I've been friends with people in the past who have mistreated me so that doesn't make me want to go out and make friends. Plus I'm anxious and shy so another reason not to make friends. Sometimes I'm put on hold when I contact the suicide hotline because they get super busy sometimes. I just want support but that seems like to much to ask and another selfish thing I want. I have no one but my judgemental mom right now.

@towngirl life after breakup is too hard. I can understand your situation, as I m too facing same. But what we can do? Just hope for better in coming days. Life a price-less gift by the God. Just live it.

@towngirl

i am very sorry you are going through this. I am in opposite boat. I lost my best friend (my ex) and have to force myself to give him space as my feelings are stronger than his. I dont have any worlds of wisdom for you other than time will heal it. My only advice is to work on you. Take time to find who you want to be, who you are, do things you enjoy.

I have not words to explain my situation, i feel lone and uncomprended, nobody really loves me or understaends me, i dont even have a mom because she quit on me, i havent done anything bad to her, she is just like that, my husband is good husband but never agreeds with me in my desitions ,opinions, or interest,i dont have real friends because everybody that i found failed my trust,or my friendship,do i stop trying them.I have been admited to the mental health hospital several times for depresion, i am seeing a sychiatric but not a sycologist because i havent find some one that tells me something new that i dont know or that i havent tried to get better or change my mentality which is "my principal issue" my husband says.I have study people during my whole life, i have 31, and i only concluded that life is unfair with me and that people only tolerate other but me.I havd wish and express so many times that i want to die,i have hate in my heart for the unfairness people anx specially my family has done, or havent done for me.i will love to find a professional sychologist, who can treat esquizoaffective problems and post traumatic syndrom or related.Please provide me help.Thanks.

@Hanna86

schizo-effective?

@Hanna86

I know this advice I don't do myself but maybe you should put a little more effort on being positive. Sometimes when we concentrate on the negatives and overwhelm ourselves. Try writing a letter to your husband about things you wished he understood. Just don't send it. Also, try writing 3 good things about yourself and 3 good things about your day for a month. Listening to music and meditation sometimes help. I know these are just coping skills last for a short time so I will also reccommend going to a program in AMITA hospital. It's not because I think you should be put in a hospital but they provide a program based on mental health. It can help in a lot of different areas: anxiety, depression, eating disorders and much more. If there is no AMITA where you live, I'm sure there is a hospital by you that can give you this type of service. Also, if the feelings you have are too overwhelming, you might need antidepressents. I hope you can overcome your struggles. Life is too short, and it's stressful but repeating over and over that you wish to die will just remind yourself. Try saying "I want to live, I have to live, I have a family to care for." because I know deep down, you do not want to die. It's just life is difficult and sometimes very overwhelming and we feel like we want to die but life is too beautiful and no one knows what comes after death. How about if it really is eternal hell? Or maybe eternal heaven? Who knows? I hope you can feel better.

@Hanna86 Hey hana, the root why you are being like this is not accepting the reality and the past as it is...
You were living in illusion you created and I know trauma is hard but...
You are grow up, You are not a child and You have been married, you need to to be mature and fix yourself..
Hanna, Stop focusing on other people that have better life than you, Stop expecting people to always understand you and forced them to know your experience...
Hanna, you know how hard it is for someone that have past life or trauma like you, you know how much pain it can be, then why you keep staying in the past and not look at the present ? for your story, you are hating yourself and like wanted people to experince your bad experince even if you know it is pain and very hurtful, why? why your are being so selfish? Did you now have a good husband? If you cannot accept yourself and live in the past and forced people to live in the past, you will lose all in the end including your good husband..

So Be Better ok, by accepting your past as past and learn to be better, Enjoy your life by accepting yourself, Go out with your husband and enjoy it, if it is hard to you then pray if you have GOD the pray so GOD can help you accept yourself as it is and show you how to enjoy a good life...

That process of healing needed time and support so if you wanted to be heal then tell your husband that you wanted to be healed and be better, ask his support, patient and be better...

I am hopeless. That is my big problem, I am tired of putting effort into relationships, Jobs, life in general, as I have no hope that things will ever get better. I have no right to complain, as I have many things in life but yet I am satisfied with life. I own my own home, but am always alone. I am a practicing veterinarian, and have a good job but am not a good vet. Cant keep putting effort into life to never be good enough.

Hey @Lonelypetvet, It makes me really sad to know you're feeling this way. If I had to bet, there are probably loads of people who value you, not to mention the work you do. I often feel lonely too, with the same realization that by many peoples' standards I am successful and fortunate in terms of relationships and community. What is something that you enjoy or that sparks your interest?

@Lonelypetvet i admired you the time i came across the word vet. That makes it admirers+1, i guess? Don't ever let your situations define you.

@Lonelypetvet Your post sounds familiar to me, I too am never satisfied with myself or my own accomplishments, which others have told me I should be proud of, all I can see however is everything I havent got, and I know there will always be more and I wont ever be content. I too continually doubt myself and my skills despite evidence to the contrary. I don't sadly have any solutions to offer as I am travelling down this same road.

@Lonelypetvet

You'd be surprised by how much time can change things!

@Lonelypetvet

hi there relationships are difficult but can you find a meetuo group that do something you like to do as well that is what I am doing

I only do things that I am interested in that way there is nothing lost (if they have meetips in your area)

Thats my answer for facilitating relationships

as far as why you think you are not a good vet why do you think that maybe you dont like it or need a refresher course for facts or need to join a med team?

i hope that helps but remember the fact that you chose I profession that is all about helping that shows you are a caring person and prob care more about animals and others than yourself

best of luck

@Lonelypetvet

*hugs* I get it.

@Lonelypetvet You put into life what you get out. You need to make the distinction between happiness and achievement. Have more belief in yourself. Then people will believe in you. Confidence breeds confidence.

@Lonelypetvet

Hello! I can understand that feeling of hopelessness too. Can I ask, do you value yourself and the work that you do? I use to work in a place that I knew that didn't value me. But the strength that kept me going and working as hard as I did was my own convictions. I believed that the work that I did matter, to me, and it didn't matter if other people didn't appreciate it. I appreciated it. I hope you can find value in the work you do and in yourself.

Ahh, I know about lonliness. It's been 8 years since my wife passed on, after 30 years of a wonderful marriage. We both knew she would die early, she was very ill. We had talked about what should happen, and she always said I should find another woman. Haven't been able to do that so far. Haven't even had a girlfriend for a couple of years. Everything else has sort of stablized out, job, music, friends. Just a lack of love that bothers me.

@Offmytrack I'm really moved by the way you talk about your late wife. It must be lonely without her, but what a beautiful thing, to have cultivated and shared 30 years of marraige. That's something I aspire to in my life. I hope someone comes along who can bring you joy and companionship again!

@faithfulDay4626 Thank you for your kind words. It helps a bit on days like today when things just seem to get worse and worse.

@Offmytrack

I think you should find a therapist to talk to or finding something to improve your mindset. I don't know much about love and partners but I think the saying 'you can't love anyone else before you love yourself' is important. Take care of your feelings and past first so you cant focus on the present.

Who knows? You might find someone who you might love very much after. I hope you can feel better.

Thank you, @randomp3rson. As it happens, someone found me, and love has happened. I am doing remarkably better these days, caring for myself, caring for her, taking care of both of us. I couldn't be happier.

At the time I wrote this, I had just been dumped by another woman, and I was very downhearted. No longer the case.

I've lost two of my friends. They didn't die or anything...but sometimes it feels like they might as well have. We grew apart and they left me behind and cut me out while they are still very much good friends. They've changed, and grown together. While I stayed the same. I know people grow apart and change...and friendships come and go... and the people who have told me this are absolutely right. I shouldn't feel bad or sad or angry that I'm no longer friends with them. But I am. Its difficult not to feel these things, Even though they weren't good to me at the end- I miss them. I miss the fun times we had. I often look back at the moments and ask myself if they were real...was it all genuine? Now that they are gone...I feel like I can't trust or connect to others. I have to regain new friendships...and I don't know how to do that. I tried so hard to develop and grow these friendships, but now that it is over I feel a void and emptiness in my life. And its caused a lot of loneliness. It sucks because they are not suffering over this. They don't care. And it begs the question...how can I do the same? How can I stop feeling lonely and start reconnecting with people again?

@oxmiaxo12

I totally relate.

Lonely in crowds, lonely everywhere I go. After so many years of trying to find companionship, it no longer seems possible. I have tried dating sites, one-on-one matchmaking, going to every event possible, Meetup-com, even looking here at work. No one replies to my messages, no one understands me, no one would really want to. Life without love is meaningless. It no longer holds anything for me.

@Offmytrack

*hugs*