Loneliness on 7Cups
Hello guys 
I have been on 7Cups for a little while and I have to say that, in some occasions, it has been helpful...in some others, it has been actually very frustrating.
I got here, as I believe many of you, searching for support, friendship, or, most likely, just someone to talk to. I live a very lonely life, in a desperately isolated place (an island with few hundreds inhabitants), and, unfortunately, I have several psychologic problems (or psychiatric?...who knows...) that developed after a not easy life. The last 3 years, especially, have just been a daily torture, a sequence of bad events that corroded me little by little. As I just wrote, I live on a little island, here we only have 2 little food stores, nothing else. Until few months ago, we didn't even have a general doctor, so, no chance to find any kind of help from professionals in the psychiatric/psychologic field. Once reached the bottom of my sorrow and despair, and having nobody that could help me, I found 7Cups.
I talked to some listeners, wrote here and there...and figured out so many times it feels like talking to myself...I wasn't able to build any stable "talking friendship", which is what I actually need. I feel like a throw stones to the void...just write sentences that maybe noone will ever read, and for sure, that noone will answer to.
I am pretty sure I am not the only one feeling like this here... I don't want this to sound like a complaint, 7Cups is anyway good, but I wish I could find someone who wants to just keep talking to me, and that wants to be listened.
Is my hope in vain? 
I am hopeless. That is my big problem, I am tired of putting effort into relationships, Jobs, life in general, as I have no hope that things will ever get better. I have no right to complain, as I have many things in life but yet I am satisfied with life. I own my own home, but am always alone. I am a practicing veterinarian, and have a good job but am not a good vet. Cant keep putting effort into life to never be good enough.
Hey @Lonelypetvet, It makes me really sad to know you're feeling this way. If I had to bet, there are probably loads of people who value you, not to mention the work you do. I often feel lonely too, with the same realization that by many peoples' standards I am successful and fortunate in terms of relationships and community. What is something that you enjoy or that sparks your interest?
@Lonelypetvet i admired you the time i came across the word vet. That makes it admirers+1, i guess? Don't ever let your situations define you.
@Lonelypetvet Your post sounds familiar to me, I too am never satisfied with myself or my own accomplishments, which others have told me I should be proud of, all I can see however is everything I havent got, and I know there will always be more and I wont ever be content. I too continually doubt myself and my skills despite evidence to the contrary. I don't sadly have any solutions to offer as I am travelling down this same road.
@Lonelypetvet
You'd be surprised by how much time can change things!
@Lonelypetvet
hi there relationships are difficult but can you find a meetuo group that do something you like to do as well that is what I am doing
I only do things that I am interested in that way there is nothing lost (if they have meetips in your area)
Thats my answer for facilitating relationships
as far as why you think you are not a good vet why do you think that maybe you dont like it or need a refresher course for facts or need to join a med team?
i hope that helps but remember the fact that you chose I profession that is all about helping that shows you are a caring person and prob care more about animals and others than yourself
best of luck
@Lonelypetvet
*hugs* I get it.
@Lonelypetvet You put into life what you get out. You need to make the distinction between happiness and achievement. Have more belief in yourself. Then people will believe in you. Confidence breeds confidence.
@Lonelypetvet
Hello! I can understand that feeling of hopelessness too. Can I ask, do you value yourself and the work that you do? I use to work in a place that I knew that didn't value me. But the strength that kept me going and working as hard as I did was my own convictions. I believed that the work that I did matter, to me, and it didn't matter if other people didn't appreciate it. I appreciated it. I hope you can find value in the work you do and in yourself.
Ahh, I know about lonliness. It's been 8 years since my wife passed on, after 30 years of a wonderful marriage. We both knew she would die early, she was very ill. We had talked about what should happen, and she always said I should find another woman. Haven't been able to do that so far. Haven't even had a girlfriend for a couple of years. Everything else has sort of stablized out, job, music, friends. Just a lack of love that bothers me.
@Offmytrack I'm really moved by the way you talk about your late wife. It must be lonely without her, but what a beautiful thing, to have cultivated and shared 30 years of marraige. That's something I aspire to in my life. I hope someone comes along who can bring you joy and companionship again!
@faithfulDay4626 Thank you for your kind words. It helps a bit on days like today when things just seem to get worse and worse.
@Offmytrack
I think you should find a therapist to talk to or finding something to improve your mindset. I don't know much about love and partners but I think the saying 'you can't love anyone else before you love yourself' is important. Take care of your feelings and past first so you cant focus on the present.
Who knows? You might find someone who you might love very much after. I hope you can feel better.
Thank you, @randomp3rson. As it happens, someone found me, and love has happened. I am doing remarkably better these days, caring for myself, caring for her, taking care of both of us. I couldn't be happier.
At the time I wrote this, I had just been dumped by another woman, and I was very downhearted. No longer the case.
I've lost two of my friends. They didn't die or anything...but sometimes it feels like they might as well have. We grew apart and they left me behind and cut me out while they are still very much good friends. They've changed, and grown together. While I stayed the same. I know people grow apart and change...and friendships come and go... and the people who have told me this are absolutely right. I shouldn't feel bad or sad or angry that I'm no longer friends with them. But I am. Its difficult not to feel these things, Even though they weren't good to me at the end- I miss them. I miss the fun times we had. I often look back at the moments and ask myself if they were real...was it all genuine? Now that they are gone...I feel like I can't trust or connect to others. I have to regain new friendships...and I don't know how to do that. I tried so hard to develop and grow these friendships, but now that it is over I feel a void and emptiness in my life. And its caused a lot of loneliness. It sucks because they are not suffering over this. They don't care. And it begs the question...how can I do the same? How can I stop feeling lonely and start reconnecting with people again?
@oxmiaxo12
I totally relate.
Lonely in crowds, lonely everywhere I go. After so many years of trying to find companionship, it no longer seems possible. I have tried dating sites, one-on-one matchmaking, going to every event possible, Meetup-com, even looking here at work. No one replies to my messages, no one understands me, no one would really want to. Life without love is meaningless. It no longer holds anything for me.
@Offmytrack
*hugs*
@Brooke91 Thank you. You are appreciated.
Loneliness is horrible. My teacher said that high school may be okay because if I choose subjects that I like
people alike me are going to be in my class! Hoping for the best
@KindBean2002
Hello! Try to find people who will understand you, people who you can lean on during life fiery trials.
I always seem to feel more lonely when family assume they understand how I feel. They truely believe what they say is helpful "snap out of it" or "you just need to get on with it" I know it comes from a mixture of love and frustration but I just feel more isolated and broken.
@decisiveTortoise1201 I know what you mean. Sometimes I do it to myself. I say to myself that depression can't be real because it doesn't make sense but refusing how I feel just makes it worse
@Beginagain31 exactly it can be hard when dealing with your own frustrations and wishing you didn't feel the way you do. But acceptance can be powerful step to recovery it becomes so much harder when my own thoughts reflect that of what my family feel like. To the point I loathe myself. But I take a little comfort and sometimes feel a little less lonely when there are forums like this.
@decisiveTortoise1201 did you succeed in finding any kind of friendship on 7cups? I ve been reading this thread and it now seems that many struggle with that. Im new here and I m still unsure of how everything works
The sun comes up and the sun goes down and all the while I am alone hating my existence. Life has got to get better through my loneliness. Everything is supposed to be temporary however 3 years straight hardly seems temporary.
@bgdave
from 13 to 45 I was locked up off and on in "looney" bins but know I am 50 and am on the right meds. It just takes what it takes. What I needed as a teen wasn't even invented yet. I just found ways to cope.
How do I join this thread? Lol
@katherine0819 Hi, You joined by posting here. You will recieve notification now whenever someone posts in the thread
I always feel lonely since I was 9 years old, I've always felt lonely and I keep asking questions to myself like "Am I not good enough to be someone?" or "Am I too ugly and too much of a failure to be with someone to love me?". I cry a little bit every day before I go to sleep and say "I'm not good enough for this world." and the days go by and still nothing has changed.
Another lonely Mothers Day there are no women in my life to celebrate Mom and Grandmother have passed. The loneliness is amplified today if you will. I pray for intimacy but it still remains elusive and the sun comes up and then goes down. Life sucks.....
@bgdave
Well, for me it'll be an empty father and grandfather day as it has been since they died when I was 11. But in fact when I realize all they passed down to me in that short amount of time, I can't honestly say I am alone. A part of them lives in me and I treasure it.
Sending courage and hope
