Loneliness on 7Cups
Hello guys 
I have been on 7Cups for a little while and I have to say that, in some occasions, it has been helpful...in some others, it has been actually very frustrating.
I got here, as I believe many of you, searching for support, friendship, or, most likely, just someone to talk to. I live a very lonely life, in a desperately isolated place (an island with few hundreds inhabitants), and, unfortunately, I have several psychologic problems (or psychiatric?...who knows...) that developed after a not easy life. The last 3 years, especially, have just been a daily torture, a sequence of bad events that corroded me little by little. As I just wrote, I live on a little island, here we only have 2 little food stores, nothing else. Until few months ago, we didn't even have a general doctor, so, no chance to find any kind of help from professionals in the psychiatric/psychologic field. Once reached the bottom of my sorrow and despair, and having nobody that could help me, I found 7Cups.
I talked to some listeners, wrote here and there...and figured out so many times it feels like talking to myself...I wasn't able to build any stable "talking friendship", which is what I actually need. I feel like a throw stones to the void...just write sentences that maybe noone will ever read, and for sure, that noone will answer to.
I am pretty sure I am not the only one feeling like this here... I don't want this to sound like a complaint, 7Cups is anyway good, but I wish I could find someone who wants to just keep talking to me, and that wants to be listened.
Is my hope in vain? 
I want to kill myself again...I don't have anyone and don't fit in anywhere. Hell, I don't fit it in my own skin, I can't do this anymore.
@Supernaturalfreek
I'm sorry to hear this. I hope you find something to live for, for yourself and not for anyone else's approval. Don't give up on yourself! If we don't love ourselves, how can we expect anyone else too? Even if it's only you, you can still create a life that you love.
Being alone and lonely is the worst. I am so tired of not having any love or intimacy in my life. The days and weeks and months go by and there is no joy or love. I used to have relationships and love and as the years go by now I feel so unwanted and discarded. Life has got to change how can it be so empty now? I am just like anyone else who cares and wants to feel a sense of love and belonging. Why am I still here if only to suffer alone? I am friendly and have good hygiene and care about others why won
@bgdave
Find people who will love and appreciate you, and most importantly understand you. I'm also going through something similar and I haven't found a lot of good people, but I did find some people who gave me encouragement, counsel, and wisdom. There are 7 billion people in this world, so there are definently group of people who were made for you to connect with. I use to live in Shanghai, China with a population of 23 million people in one city, and I was able to find a few good people to connect with (Chinese and Foreigners). It really depends on how much you want the life you are dreaming of, pining for. Most people don't really want that life because it requireds hard work and effort.
@bgdave your soulmate is out there! Keep looking!
@bgdave you are strong. you don't need anyone but yourself. hold on. it will get better.
@AESTHETICBITCH I know that I am strong but I feel so alone and it would be nice to have someone special in my life.
Lonely-> Letter with only one L Y ? need love maybe be, well we are created as social being for sure, so ofc we are lonely when we are not able to do that...
Life at this moment is incredibly difficult and lonely 😞. I am doing all I can to keep hopeful and continue to reach out for help and desire for positive change.
@bgdave
That's great!
I feel like I have no one. Im battling everything alone. The only person I talk to is my boyfriend. I cant depend on him all the time. Why does no one want to be my friend? Whenever I start to make an effort to make friends, they never seem to want to try. No one ever texts me or asks me to hang out. I cry a lot because of it. I dont know how to go out of my way to make friends. Where do you go to find friends? I barely have any time anymore to go seeking friends. Can a best friend just fall into my lap? I want to be able to tell someone about my getting pregnant for the first time or getting proposed to and theyll be happy for me like Ill be for them when the time comes. I see so many things about friends out there and I dont have any. It makes me feel even more depressed... like Ill never have that special bond with someone.
@RoseThorn3299
I relate with this comment. I just moved schools and house. I really thought it would be an easy opportunity to make friends but I'm still struggling. I made some friends but I still haven't gotten REAL close. I think we both might just feel like this because we both feel depressed currently but I think it's possible to change things. You just have to work on yourself and your mental state a bit more. I don't think best friends magically appear, but they can definetly be made. Yes, it's hard and a lot of work. But I think the best way is to continously hang out outside of school/work because sure, making conversation does make you closer but I think doing things outside of work/school helps to make friends. I made one of my best friends from my old school like that. She is shy, and she was new to my school, I didn't hang out with her at all when she was new but she was in a group chat I was in on social media. I got tired of waiting for my friends to finally be able to hang out with me, so I texted her and asked her to go hang out outside of school. It was very nerve-wrecking, and I didn't know what to expect because she was shy, and we only hung out in school. The first hang-out was very awkward but by the 2nd or 3rd hang-out,we were no longer awkward. Now we could sit in silence for probably hours, and it's not weird. Hope this comment helped! Good luck on finding more friends.
@RoseThorn3299
I feel you. I moved here a year ago and I'm still struggling. If I just had one person... I feel like I am a minor character in everyone I know's life. I want to have friends and a social life! I've been told to volunteer or join a club... but where do I find the energy and who has the time/money? It's gotta get easier. It really does. We're not alone in this.
@RoseThorn3299 Hey!! Let's be friends!! Can we?
@RoseThorn3299 I get it, I really do. I moved countries with my fiancé and had to find friends of my own. It was difficult and I had to pretend to be extroverted a lot. I joined an online expat community- that helped but there was people I met that I just couldnt ‘click with too.
in the end I took some hobby classes and really had to go out on a limb to invite classmates for lunch or coffee after class. Sometimes they would say no which was embarrassing but some did say yes and with effort we became good friends. It took 6 months to get to that and it was extremely isolating and lonely before that.
Could you take up a class? I know its hard but if you can start up a conversation with someone then at the end if you have a good vibe say ‘hey wanna get a coffee next week? Youd be surprised how many people are longing for a close friend too!
@RoseThorn3299
Sounds familar! You are not alone. I don't know how old you are. Guess it doesn't matter depression hits all ages. I am probably older than you. We can be friends Lynn
@RoseThorn3299
Hi Rose, I frrl sorry for you my Dear for fealling lonely or having no friends , yo deserve to have GOOD one
I wish I could help you :)
one time will come and some friends " you deserve will find you " till then , pray God and take care of your self
@RoseThorn3299 Hi, I can understand what you're going through, coz I am facing the same thing.
I think it's partly coz of our depression making us think this way, and also partly coz everyone truly do have their own lives to tend to. So I've been trying to tell myself that I should be my own friend if no one else can be there for me. My new year's resolution is in fact to love and respect myself the way I wish those closest to me would :)
Don't let your mind fool you, you do matter, but our friends truly are busy with their own lives. The last time I saw one of my best friends was late last year, and she just called me up today to hang out and watch a movie next week. She's been busy tending to family business with her mom, and was running around like a madwoman to get things done. It was a pleasant surprise, and I of course welcome it.
I have been looking for online groups that meet up IRL for some activities in my area, but it's a bit difficult for me as I also have really bad anxiety. But I know I have to try something to move forward, make new friends and not be so dependent on anyone.
I hope you'll find something to overcome this problem too, coz I know how awfully lonely it is in your head and to not have many people around for support or do normal everyday things with.
xo
Someone who understands <3
@RoseThorn3299 Hey Rose! I can offer my friendship to you if you want an online friend that is. Btw I like your username, rose is my favourite flower. Looking forward to hear from you :)
@RoseThorn3299 Ive been through this exact same thing, I moved a lot during my childhood so Ive never been able to make a real friend that stuck. I would honestly be honored to listen to anything you have to say, it so fun learning about different peoples lives. Its almost like having a different perspective of the universe (I promise Im not a hippie either lol) it would be so fun hearing about your day or just spewing out whatever you have on your mind
Hey @RoseThorn3299! I can relate to basically everything you said. I am here if you want to talk.
Married with 3 kids and still alone (metaphorically speaking). Which is ironic considering i never get a moment alone. I have no talent, no career, no friends, terrible at parenting /house keeping/being a wife. Im exhausted. I cant keep living... my brain needs to be shut off. I sit on the side lines pretending to be happy for everyone. I feel like im past my prime and i always hoped things would get better, but they didn't and i know they won'tl. Im sure no one will read this, and thats ok. I just had to put it out in the universe. Ive decided Im going to do it, now just need to finalize the details. My husband is away for the majority of Oct and i dont want my kids to find me or be in the house, so Ill have to plan carefully. Ive been to therapy, taken medication and tried mindfulness/mediation. Ive reached my boiling point, the water is creating toxic steam that is affecting everyone/thing in my life. I have a rough draft, need a final copy with timeline. It wont be this month...probably November.
@Blueblueeyes Point one: It's not like nobody is going to read it. I did. Please don't go. Please can we talk?
@sincereJar332 It's really tough. No matter how much I say, I can't truly imagine your pain. Your pain is real. Yet I believe you can do something with your life. Something you wanted to do? Like learn to draw? teach? Run? Even if you find little meaning in your life right now, it's not the end. Don't hurry it, you will die one day. Just don't go like this. I am no expert. I am actually myself pretty sad. But I don't want to loose you. For some reason I feel that loosing you is loosing someone really precious to me.
@Blueblueeyes
Hi. I found my way here for sort of the same reasons but first please please don't take yourself away from your kids..they NEED you.
We have just on opportunity to have our best life. Once you make final decisions that's it. No more. Please give your awesome life a chance. Because even if today isn't awesome--tomorrow can be.
I lost my sister because of her choice and my life has never been the same. Nor has her son's life.. Nor her husband. Making those kind of decisions rockets more life than just yours into a tailspin. You are needed.
And loved.
@crimsonPenguin3100 That is beautiful and I am sorry to hear about your sister...you are an inspiration for being on something like this to reach out to others.
@Blueblueeyes hey can we be friends? I understand you
@Blueblueeyes I am deeply sorry to hear that. You are a mom. You are a hero. Who is better than moms in this world?!
I think we need some support when we lose our balance and become under lots of pressure and stress.
We are here for you!!
Wish you the best!!! 🙂
I hate ppl that get married and post the most cheesy fake post on their social media. Love is good and all, but it is NOT that
@Stellainthesky
Very true ... real love is actually caring about someone and how they feel. If theyre having a sucky day, you understand that theyre having a sucky day and you feel for them.
What I think is laughable (but not really funny) is ... I know someone whos been stringing along a new one almost every other week. For what? He loves pleasure more than her. Sometimes I wonder if hes ever had a true friend in his life ...
Friends are usually united by interests. For example, I found my best girlfriend at work. We both are passionate about writing and we had interview at the same day at Edubirdie company, so we started to chat and understood that we have a lot in common. We both were hired, so we had possibility to see each other often. I cant say that we were planning to become friends, its just happened. Similar interest, both were freshman in the company, so its kind of united us. So just do what you enjoy and you will meet person that shares the same interests.
I know I'm gonna lose my account either way. I was speaking with @kindwatermelon51, and I just wanted to make sure I didn't sound sexist by SIMPLY saying back in 70s and 80s women hadn't much power and weren't respected, but today they are more recognized and are more respected and even the relationship options changed, now they want someone caring, a man that will be there for them, not a "chief of family", cuz honestly I'm not chief of nothing just because I'm the father and I have a wife and a kid. Did I sound sexist by simply explaining how the values fortunately changed? I want someone to tell me that!
First week of 2019 and it was so exhausting. My loneliness is feeding my depression and I spent the day in bed with fatigue. It is 20 degrees outside and I am spending another lonely night trying to not dwell on what is bothering me.
@bgdave
ive steadily felt this way more and more for the last two decades. I scared the shit out of myself with a recent drug bender, and started seeing a psychologist to reshape my thinking and develop healthy coping strategies... I've researched why my brain constantly brings me to dark places, and felt I understand a lot, but ultimately humans need to sound our problems off of someone else, even if they don't have a solution... it's something I can't explain really, the need to vocalize our troubles to another human... that "persuit of happiness" lie that happened comes from within us a lie, we need other humans to learn to be happy... but sometimes we need to seek professionals to get us rolling... how do you feel about doing that?
@90percentileinfp
Everyone copes with loneliness in different ways but ultimately I think you're right in that we need to express our loneliness to another person without at the same time hurting their feelings. I hope you have a good support network around you or at least in the process of creating a support network for yourself 😀
@90percentileinfp I have gone to a therapist many times and it is very hard to find one that is a good fit. When I have there are factors that have caused me to have to change therapist and that is very disruptive and frustrating. I was seeing a PHD psychiatrist who was great but he retired and now the clinic only has crappy L.C.S.W. to listen to my problems. There some good licensed clinical social workers doing therapy but there are also a lot of terrible ones. So at the moment I don
@90percentileinfp I have gone to a therapist many times and it is very hard to find one that is a good fit. When I have there are factors that have caused me to have to change therapist and that is very disruptive and frustrating. I was seeing a PHD psychiatrist who was great but he retired and now the clinic only has crappy L.C.S.W. to listen to my problems. There some good licensed clinical social workers doing therapy but there are also a lot of terrible ones. So at the moment I don
