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AbbyHarris1976
53,478 M Confident Walk 1
PathStep 1,796 Compassion hearts7,204 Forum posts3,187 Forum upvotes6,361 Current upvotes6,361 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2021 Member sinceAugust 1, 2018
Bio
Hi, I look forward to working with everyone here to help overcome social anxiety and depression, and I would also like to find and make new stable and supportive friendships here as well. :) For fun, I like to read, play video games, explore some of the neighborhoods in the great city where I live, binge watch Lost and Star Trek, and participate in coffee or dinner and conversation outings.

LISTENERS - PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING REAL GOOD BEFORE OPENING A CHAT WITH ME
If you are chatting with me to be supportive and friendly, I will welcome that. However ... please be advised of the following terms and conditions.
1. I WILL NOT tolerate SEX TALK or ANY ABUSIVE OR TRIGGERING LANGUAGE OR BEHAVIOR at any time during the chat!! Failure to abide by these standards will result in my seeking disciplinary action against you - this note will be your only warning because I will otherwise block inappropriate chats without any further warning. This is NON-NEGOTIABLE!
2. Please be advised that due to my stressful work schedule and possible time zone differences, I may not be available to chat in real time. Therefore, our chats will be like exchanging e-mails or texts, but I will get to replying as soon as conveniently possible. Also, I tend to prefer longer posts as opposed to one-liners.
3. I strongly prefer and encourage the use of EMOJIS when chatting with me, as I believe that online communication is much clearer when using them and we can thus avoid misunderstandings due to misreading chats as being sarcastic, angry, passive-aggressive. If you do not use emojis when chatting with me, I will be more likely to misread your chat posts and end up becoming more anxious than when the chat begins ... just FYI. ;)
4. If you are prone to ghosting your members, you should not begin a chat with me. I will likely take it that you are abandoning me and that I did something to cause it. If you need to leave for self-care break, which is completely understandable, please LET ME KNOW that you are doing so, and that it is not because of me! Just saying ... :)
Recent forum posts
Happy birthday, Daisy7Cups! 🥳
Positivity & Gratitude / by AbbyHarris1976
Last post
 April 20th, 2020
...See more @Daisy7Cups Happy birthday to you! 🎂🎉🥳 Despite how busy its become again on my end as I work through the pandemic, and how its been for you with the lockdown there ... I want to wish you a Happy birthday here on 7 Cups! Now Im gonna cue a certain former listener from last year in handing out birthday cake 😉 ... youre gonna laugh at this ... 😉 🥳🥳🥳🎉🎉🎉🎂🎂🎂🍰🍰🍰🍦🍦🍦
What Valentine's Day means to me now
Relationship Stress / by AbbyHarris1976
Last post
 January 27th, 2021
...See more First off, I would like to wish everyone a ... HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!! This is for everyone here at 7 Cups, whether they are single, married, in a relationship, not in that kind of relationship, etc. The thing is, in my life now, this IS what my Valentine's Day is about ... doing what I can to spread some love and good cheer for everyone reading this, because for one thing ... I dunno about you, but it's cold here and it was a busy (and frustrating) workday and I'm just glad to have the weekend off! So for me, maybe Valentine's Day is about counting and being thankful for my blessings, and the friends that I have. Furthermore, it's about respect ... respecting others AND respecting yourself. It's very difficult to find someone who will love you, the way you need to be loved, truly - unless you respect yourself as well. I'm going to tag a few others to get this started @Daisy7cups @LavenderSubmarine Anyone else who wants to reply can so so, also! [https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fhennydonovanmotif.co.uk%2Fproduct%2Fcappuccino-heart-stencil%2F&psig=AOvVaw1m3JJkJYis5lGibwQPCZBM&ust=1581810365377000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCID89_6c0ucCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD]
A humorous (and Star Trek) look at
Relationship Stress / by AbbyHarris1976
Last post
 December 23rd, 2019
...See more This is from the Star Trek Deep Space 9 episode By Infernos Light Starfleet Lt.-Commander Worf: First, they demand we come out here, then they make us wait. Klingon General Martok: Theyre worthy fighters, but they have no sense of honor. How many of you have been in that situation where you feel rushed to get to an appointment, an interview, or (date I say 😉🤭😂) a date and youre left waiting for ... ? 🤣 Its not a fun or very pleasant situation to be in when its happening, but Ive had it happen to me also and sometimes ... well, I just have to laugh out of the situation and the pain associated with it. 🤣
Friendships being converted into romantic relationships ... can it work? Share your story
Relationship Stress / by AbbyHarris1976
Last post
 March 1st, 2020
...See more Okay, so you're good friends with someone and then suddenly ... uh oh, one of you develops romantic "feelings" for the other, or you both develop such feelings for each other. Where would you go from here, if anywhere? Maybe the friendship can become a successful romantic relationship, but there's so much that can also go wrong and end up derailing both the friendship and the chance for that friendship to become a successful romance. Maybe your friend developed feelings for you and decided to act on them, but you're not comfortable with it and furthermore, have begun noticing things about your friend's behavior toward you previous to them acting on their feelings that you overlooked before. Some of these things may include your supposed friend not listening to a word that you're saying during group discussions with other friends. That can be overlooked in a friendship with that person, perhaps, but could spell TROUBLE in a romance where communication is paramount to the success of the relationship (and communication is also very important in regular friendships, as well). Maybe you developed felings for your friend, but you don't know how to tell that person and you find yourself becoming more anxious when you next meet your friend, and talking to them seems to become more difficult and nerve-wracking. Can friendships even be successfully converted into romantic relationships? Why or why not? Please share your story and your opinions on this question here. I have a story to share here, also (and have actually posted it on another thread on this board, so I will post a paraphrased version, which will likely be shorter, here) ... I'll post more about that on this thread later.
The five languages of Love
Relationship Stress / by AbbyHarris1976
Last post
 October 31st, 2019
...See more I got a lot to say on this. Now, I'm gonna admit that this is a tough one for me because of (1) my issues with social anxiety and relationship anxiety and (2) the tendency of today's world to equate "love" with lustful (and often fake) pleasure relationships that end up being and bringing the opposite of true love into our lives. For these two reasons, I tend to shy away from romantic relationships and focus on love that can be found and appreciated on a seemingly simpler but more powerful level. I'm about "the whole package", all 5 languages of love. I hope to be able to "speak" all five languages of love while I bumble and stumble through my simple life (according to today's world) hoping to receive these in kind. Brace yourselves ... this is gonna be a long one! 1. Words of Affirmation Sincere compliments mean a lot to me, and I take them to heart. I am referring to compliments about inner character rather than about outside beauty because true beauty comes from within. I tend to be shy about giving compliemtns until I get to know someone because of social anxiety and that I am quite introverted at times, but I will often speak highly of those who help me to open up. I have had two listener friends right here on 7 Cups send me such sweet words of affirmation that my day would be brightened and I would be smiling & truly happy from the inside out. 2. Acts of Service For me, this is doing my best at work, especially when I come in at 5AM to help midnight shift during the busy end to their shift. They have, in the past, told me that they appreciate when I have helped them and this is also my way of thanking them for their compliments and appreciation as well. On 7 Cups, for me this is going through people's feed posts and forum posts and upvoting & reposting feeds that I found influential to me. 3. Receiving Gifts Sometimes, I will thank a friend for helping me when they did an act of service for me by bringing them a thank you card and a sweet treat (cookies, candy, etc). Most of the time, I do this at work when I'm working holidays or weekends by bringing in snacks for the workweekend or holidays that I'm working to share with coworkers that are working with me because ... let's face it, weekends and holidays at my workplace are still very busy and it's my way of showing appreciation to those working with me as a team! 4. Quality Time For me, just calling or texting / chatting with a friend or family member is the same as spending quality time with them, and it means a lot to me when my family and friends check in with me to ask how I'm doing. The opposite of this, of course, is "ghosting" where they abandon the friendship and don't tell you why. Anyway ... for me, it is extremely important to check in with my friends and that they check in with me - that includes the friends that I regularly chat with on 7 Cups. It makes a huge difference in someone's life just be being there for them ... even if you can't be physically there, by calling or texting them and checking in with them that way, you are showing them that you're there and you care. 5. Physical Touch I don't initiate this one very much because of social anxiety and relationship anxiety outside of shaking hands, but I will return hugs to those who make a move to hug me as long as they're not trying to be lewd or obscene. I used to not want to be touched very much at all but since moving to Chicago, I've opened up to it a little more and have even gotten to like it. I've probably had more hugs (and hugged more people too) and more back and shoulder pats since moving to Chicago than in all my years before moving to this big city. So ... tell me your thoughts!
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