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Loneliness on 7Cups
Hello guys
I have been on 7Cups for a little while and I have to say that, in some occasions, it has been helpful...in some others, it has been actually very frustrating.
I got here, as I believe many of you, searching for support, friendship, or, most likely, just someone to talk to. I live a very lonely life, in a desperately isolated place (an island with few hundreds inhabitants), and, unfortunately, I have several psychologic problems (or psychiatric?...who knows...) that developed after a not easy life. The last 3 years, especially, have just been a daily torture, a sequence of bad events that corroded me little by little. As I just wrote, I live on a little island, here we only have 2 little food stores, nothing else. Until few months ago, we didn't even have a general doctor, so, no chance to find any kind of help from professionals in the psychiatric/psychologic field. Once reached the bottom of my sorrow and despair, and having nobody that could help me, I found 7Cups.
I talked to some listeners, wrote here and there...and figured out so many times it feels like talking to myself...I wasn't able to build any stable "talking friendship", which is what I actually need. I feel like a throw stones to the void...just write sentences that maybe noone will ever read, and for sure, that noone will answer to.
I am pretty sure I am not the only one feeling like this here... I don't want this to sound like a complaint, 7Cups is anyway good, but I wish I could find someone who wants to just keep talking to me, and that wants to be listened.
Is my hope in vain?
First week of 2019 and it was so exhausting. My loneliness is feeding my depression and I spent the day in bed with fatigue. It is 20 degrees outside and I am spending another lonely night trying to not dwell on what is bothering me.
@bgdave
ive steadily felt this way more and more for the last two decades. I scared the shit out of myself with a recent drug bender, and started seeing a psychologist to reshape my thinking and develop healthy coping strategies... I've researched why my brain constantly brings me to dark places, and felt I understand a lot, but ultimately humans need to sound our problems off of someone else, even if they don't have a solution... it's something I can't explain really, the need to vocalize our troubles to another human... that "persuit of happiness" lie that happened comes from within us a lie, we need other humans to learn to be happy... but sometimes we need to seek professionals to get us rolling... how do you feel about doing that?
@90percentileinfp
Everyone copes with loneliness in different ways but ultimately I think you're right in that we need to express our loneliness to another person without at the same time hurting their feelings. I hope you have a good support network around you or at least in the process of creating a support network for yourself 😀
@90percentileinfp I have gone to a therapist many times and it is very hard to find one that is a good fit. When I have there are factors that have caused me to have to change therapist and that is very disruptive and frustrating. I was seeing a PHD psychiatrist who was great but he retired and now the clinic only has crappy L.C.S.W. to listen to my problems. There some good licensed clinical social workers doing therapy but there are also a lot of terrible ones. So at the moment I don
@90percentileinfp I have gone to a therapist many times and it is very hard to find one that is a good fit. When I have there are factors that have caused me to have to change therapist and that is very disruptive and frustrating. I was seeing a PHD psychiatrist who was great but he retired and now the clinic only has crappy L.C.S.W. to listen to my problems. There some good licensed clinical social workers doing therapy but there are also a lot of terrible ones. So at the moment I don
I feel so lonley. Theres people around me, but I feel so lonely. No one is there for me. And if they are I won't let them. Why do I feel so lonely. I feel so lonely. Lonely.
I feel lonely too people around me not good. @gentleCup1525
@gentleCup1525 hi, if you would like, we can be friends I
@Bennettamber1409 ok sure idk how but sure😅
Feeling extremely lonely and alone. It makes me feel old and unwanted and unloved. Most of my life I was in a relationship and now I just remember better times that make cry. I wish life was more loving and joyful. Instead I just feel sadness almost everyday and question the universe what my purpose is for being here?
Hey, if youd like we can be friends. Ive been feeling so alone and has no one to talk to and would really like to make some new friends @bgdave
@Bennettamber1409 hello there....sure we can be friends. I hope you are having a good weekend?
I can understand the loneliness feeling... and feeling alone, not the good kind. I don't mind being by myself from time to time. I'm an introvert and I take my alone time to cool off and recharge to be able to be around people. Yet, when I do want to be with either friends, boyfriend, or family, somewhere during the hangout, I tend to feel empty. Every time I try to tell them this empty and dark feeling I have, they keep telling me to look for something meaningful, try to be happy, take control of my life, etc. etc. I've been doing that. It seems that it's not enough. I don't think they understand how difficult it is to get out of a toxic mind, and I have days where I feel and think life sucks. I also don't think they listen to me when I tell them things I have been doing and still keep telling me the same generic advice. I don't need advice. I just need someone to sit with me and listen. Be there for me.
@scarletTiger073
I think I know where you're coming from. People try and fix your sadness because they love you, but generally don't really understand where you are coming from. Then you might feel obligated to be happy to them, which doesn't help anything. Sometimes other people can make it worse with their "good intentions."
Introverts get lonely too. It's important to find others who really understand!
@BeeEao
Thank you. It means a lot that someone knows and understands.
Hey, I just feel so lonely and can never talk to anyone. There is so much stress with school and my exams and Im also struggling with eating, I really just wish I had friends that I could speak to about anything but I feel so alone
@Bennettamber1409
If you ever want to just talk we can. I relate with all of the above and hope it would help you to have someone to talk to who understands !! :)
I feel lonely and abandoned. Yesterday I fought with my family. I screamed and then hit one of the windows, then left the house. During my walk I could not remember a single moment of success, until the moments of my happiness I was scared while it was happening and I did not enjoy it. I could not stay away from home much, although I wanted to be late and not go back, but I could not go anywhere alone. When I came back everyone blamed me for screaming, hitting the window and not appreciating the circumstances of others. I went to my bed and I kept crying till I was sleepy, and then I woke up with a terrible headache that still afflicts me.
I just feel really lonely haha. I have family that can support me but for some reason that doesn
I definitely know what loneliness is. I feel like all my friends see me as second choice and it really sucks because Im pretty sure its true. Only ever listening to my friends problems and them never asking how I am isnt fun at all. Ive never felt more insignificant. I literally always feel like crying now. My friends are trash but Im too afraid to walk away. They put me down and make me feel bad about myself. I feel so alone.
@lilymo hey if you ever wanna talk I'm here buddy. I think I close myself off from people a lot and I'm way too in my own head that I kind of feel insignificant too.
Life is harder than it has ever been not having any intimacy or unconditional love. I miss the loving touch that was there most of my life. It is just becoming harder and more difficult to understand and live with every year older I am alive. The last 6 years have been hell and it is my new normal. I hate my lonely existence.....
I am surrounded by people who love me. People who want to help and support me. I shouldnt feel alone. But I do. As close as they are, they cant understand. They dont see the monsters, they dont hear the voices, they dont feel the agonizing weight of despair. A thick concrete wall separates me from everyone else. I dont know if anyone will even read this. But I dont care. My pain is invisible. I am becoming my pain. I am becoming invisibile.
@colorfulSpring27 Hi... Are things going any better now?
There are days when I want to do absolutely nothing. I feel nothing and I just don
@FikkiJi
hey, wow i feel like i finally found someone who sounds just like me, listen don
@FikkiJi we are all hear if you need to talk to someone
@FikkiJi
hey, wow i feel like i finally found someone who sounds just like me, listen dont ever feel alone you can always talk to me and I want to have New friends. Maybe you want to become friends ❤️
I feel lost because I don't know what to do, I am alone because no one is there for me sure I used to have many friends but now I have none. Im not sure what to do because I am sad most of the time or just overwhelmed completely, distant from everyone and with no one. I listen to music a lot because it helps me feel heard in a way. Im new to this community and I hope you all are hanging in there thanks for listening and helping me feel less alone.
@rainynights11
im new to here too.
Reading your post was like reading my own experiences in life. I used to have friends, I used to rely on them, now their gone becuase guess theyve had enough of me and I need to change things, I want to change things but each day Im forgetting to breath most of the time.
if you ever want to talk and share etc, stay strong
@CharlieBravo
I can kind of relate because there have been times where I want to reach out and make friends but because I have social anxiety issues and tend to be socially awkward, sometimes it seems that some people think I'm too boring. Maybe it's because I'm not all that great at initiating small talk, as much as I might try, and therefore feel like I'm wasting people's time ...
Hope this helps!
@AbbyHarris1976 I feel you. I am also socially awkward so it's hard for me . When i go places and I see strangers make small talk so easy and walk away with a new friend I just feel like I'm a waste. I feel like because of this people may think I'm cold or stuck up or don't like interacting . I want to but I just can't of that makes sense. 😞
@imaginativeLion355
It makes perfect sense. For me, I look at small talk as a prelude to deeper conversation rather than an end in itself.
I tend to be introverted (INFP on the Myer-Briggs) and sometimes when dealing with extroverts, its like they and I are speaking different languages. 🤣
@BlueBetta thank you. I fell again today on the ice and injured my wrist and strained my back again.
@BlueBetta yes it is very painful. I am struggling today in the 14 degree weather taking the bus to work. Life really sux right now.