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SailingFox
8,226 M Moving Along 8
PathStep 82 Compassion hearts236 Forum posts370 Forum upvotes376 Current upvotes376 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2024 Member sinceAugust 6, 2018
Bio

The elusive female INFJ here to gain support from those who share the same symptoms and issues as I do, and to also hopefully extend the same care and help for others too ๐Ÿ’œ Currently finishing my associate degree in psychology and would love to contribute to the betterment of humanity in any way I can.


I've been diagnosed with MDD, GAD and recently ADHD which explains so much. I've been able to understand and advocate for myself more since the diagnosis which I feel is a major gamechanger. I suspect that I have PTSD and CPTSD too because I come from a family with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), and I am unfortunately their scapegoat. I don't think anyone can quite understand the trauma of coming from a toxic and abusive family with cluster B personality disorder unless they've been through it themselves.


Recent forum posts
CPTSD and nightmares
Relationship Stress / by SailingFox
Last post
August 18th, 2023
...See more Iโ€™m no longer in an abusive home and safe with friends, but I still have nightmares. Is this normal? Does this happen to anyone? Will they stop? ๐Ÿ˜“
Need advise re: studying when having depression.
Depression Support / by SailingFox
Last post
August 1st, 2019
...See more Hi. Are there any full time working adults here who are juggling studies part time, too? Ive been contemplating on going back to school part time, and Im wondering if anyone can advise, give insights etc anything useful. Like how do you cope the daily pressures of your daily tasks at work and study/ complete assignments/ study for exams? Especially the studying bit as my concentration, memory and focus are still a little poor. Thanks in advance for any replies, if there are any :)
The Day I Finally Met Little Me
Journals & Diaries / by SailingFox
Last post
April 5th, 2020
...See more Ive very recently had a brief encounter with a wonderful guy. It ended before it could even begin, was extremely volatile and sent my anxiety rocket into orbit. But I see it as a blessing from the very first second because it made me realise that I still have issues that I need to address and work on in therapy. By the time I did manage to take a couple of days off to go for therapy and recuperate (I love my psychologist, but therapy always makes me feel so exhausted), my anxiety has gone down to a more acceptable level again. A lot of things that I was finally able to say out loud my psychologist also mused. Shes happy that I put my foot down and put up boundaries when it was clearly invaded. What I can say here is that whole episode of my life made me feel like a child again, having to take care of the adults in my life, always having to be so careful, my voice not being heard, feeling weak and helpless. My psychologists pretty eyes grew round. Would you like to visit your inner child? I heard myself say okay. She told me to stretch and make myself comfortable as this might take a while. I did as she told me to, and I quickly closed my eyes. I dont know why but I was already shaking like a leaf and I felt a tear slowly streaking down my left cheek. My psychologist lead me through a park, and across the bridge was little me, in dark jeans and white t-shirt. I was amused by this sight. Some things just dont change. It looked like she had been waiting for me. There was a concerned and serious look on her face that made me feel sad. A kid shouldnt have to look like that. My psychologist let us hang out for a while, just me and Little Me. My psychologist asked if Little Me had something to say. She didnt. I guess this is something that hasnt changed, either. The air around us felt heavy, and the surrounding area was dark and completely in the shadows when the whole park before I crossed the bridge was light and beautiful. What is she feeling? Sad and alone. She wants to let go. This is when I turned into the Sunway Lagoon on legs that I actually am. Would you like to say something to her? I couldnt, I was too overwhelmed. I guess my psychologist sensed this, coz I could hear her gently saying, Tell her its not her fault. Tell her everything will be okay. Tell her you will make better choices in life. After that I totally lost it and was drowning in snot like Alice In Wonderland drifted away in a sea of tears in a friggin bottle. When it was time to say goodbye, Little Me still had that look on her face but it wasnt as severe as when I first arrived into her dark little corner. The vibe felt a little lighter and calm, and I didnt feel worried for leaving her there alone. I could finally see her as others saw her, strong and determined. And I felt ready to let go. I still think of her, more than I think of him ๐Ÿ˜‚๐ŸคฃHe made me feel like I was the one that needed help (which I do), but he doesnt see that he still has a lot of healing to do, too. I pray that there will be forgiveness in his heart for me for not being able to meet him where he is, and that he will one day soon get over his apparent unhealed trauma, too. You had me at hello.
Congenital Heart Defect Survivor
Healthy Living / by SailingFox
Last post
June 30th, 2019
...See more Hi. I have a question for anyone who also has a hole in the heart just like me. FYI I also suffer from anxiety and major depression. Has your doctor advised you against doing exercises when you have been experiencing palpitations throughout the day for several days from physical exhaustion and also anxiety? ๐Ÿ˜… I only take up pilates btw. Thanks! โค๏ธ
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