Conquering Anxiety: Cycle of Anxiety
Hi everyone, I hope you are doing well. Last week we talked about what anxiety is and how it can impact one’s life. You can participate in the first post here. This week we will dive into the cycle of Anxiety! We often talk about anxiety but I have not seen the cycle being talked about that often it is an important pattern to understand to improve your anxiety.
Here is the anxiety cycle visualized
The cycle of anxiety, as illustrated in the graphic from The OCD & Anxiety Center
Here is how it looks in action:
- Public speaking: The speaker fears judgment, avoids presentation (temporary relief), but misses the chance to gain experience and the anxiety persists. The next time the same opportunity is presented, the fear is stronger.
- Driving: A person fears driving in busy places and avoids them initially but over time the idea of driving on busy roads feels completely unacceptable. What started as hesitance, becomes a deep-rooted fear.
Please take two minutes to watch this video on the anxiety cycle
📺Click Here to Watch the Video
So are we doomed then?
No, the interesting thing about the anxiety cycle is, that just as you can feed and strengthen your anxiety, you can also do the opposite.
Let's look at the already given above examples where we learned that if we avoid something we are scared of, we strengthen the feelings of anxiety associated with it. So if we wish to weaken the intensity of these feelings, we have to do the opposite! We have to face what we fear (this will be covered more thoroughly in the coming posts, we are just dipping our toes in the idea of facing our fears at the start of the series)
So what do we do when we are faced with anxiety?
You do the thing you are scared of. I know it is easier said than done but this is an effective method.
For example, if you are a new driver who is scared to park in busy areas, you do exactly that! But we don’t go into these situations without our handy grounding tools to help us get through it! These will be covered in the posts to come.
For this post, we are simply learning about the cycle of anxiety and reflecting on how we have strengthened and weakened it in our lives.
Questions for reflection
It is preferred that you complete the series on a member account but to accommodate anyone who wishes to use a listener account, I have divided the questions into Member and Listener categories.
(Members Only) Please do not answer these on a listener account
- Reflect on an area of life where you have struggled with anxiety think about the cycle of anxiety that has existed surrounding that topic and share with us what that cycle looked like for you.
- Think of something you were once anxious about doing but now you either feel reduced anxiety surrounding it or do not feel anxious at all. Do you think you knowingly or unnowlingly broke the cycle?
(Listeners Only)
- Think of something that can be generally anxiety-provoking and give us two examples, where one path leads to more anxiety and another weakens the cycle.
Further Reading
This post is part of the Conquering Anxiety series, you can find all posts of the series here.
@Hope
Reflect on an area of life where you have struggled with anxiety think about the cycle of anxiety that has existed surrounding that topic and share with us what that cycle looked like for you.
I have struggled with anxiety in talking to my teachers about any matter. I get nervous when the need arises, get a friend/classmate to do it for me and get even more nervous the next time the need aries again.
Think of something you were once anxious about doing but now you either feel reduced anxiety surrounding it or do not feel anxious at all. Do you think you knowingly or unnowlingly broke the cycle?
I broke the cycle of anxiety surrounding talking to a teacher when I had no choice but to do it myself and had to confront a teacher for my sake and the sake of my friends. It was extremely nerve racking but now it doesnt seem so scary to talk to a teacher anymore 🙃
@Hope
Reflect on an area of life where you have struggled with anxiety.
An area of life I've struggled with is self sabotage. Even though I'm motivated and want to do something, the negative thoughts will win.
Think about the cycle of anxiety that has existed surrounding that topic and share with us what that cycle looked like for you.
This hyper independence creates isolation which increases issues, which then further increases the isolation and issues, etc..
@communicativePond1728 Very cute frog :)
@Hope
Anxiety often arises as a common response to stressors such as public speaking and social interactions. For public speaking, preparation and practice can transform anxiety into a helpful alertness. Similarly, in social settings, challenging negative thoughts and seeking support can reduce feelings of anxiety. The way one approaches these situations can significantly influence one's anxiety levels. Gradually facing these situations to build resilience and confidence, ultimately breaking the cycle of anxiety.
@Hope
Reflect on an area of life where you have struggled with anxiety think about the cycle of anxiety that has existed surrounding that topic and share with us what that cycle looked like for you.
I have struggled with anxiety while communicating with others, I fear judgement and that makes me anxious, & I often avoid communication, which makes me even more anxious the next time I have to communicate with someone.
Think of something you were once anxious about doing but now you either feel reduced anxiety surrounding it or do not feel anxious at all. Do you think you knowingly or unnowlingly broke the cycle?
I used to be very anxious when I had to go on a shop & purchase anything. (due to fear of judgement). I always avoided going to purchase anything even if anyone asked me to. But one day, I decided that I'll face it, I went to the shop and purchased some grocery items and that broke the cycle. Now my anxiety regarding this has comparatively reduced.
Area of life that you have struggled with anxiety: I think my cycle of anxiety would be the fact that I worry about a lot of things, I worry about how I look or or how I'm seen by other people a lot and so I try as much not to talk to people much.
I worry about it going outside because of how people will see me so I don't go out much.
I worry about facing things like a challenge or task because I don't think I can win it so I don't do challenges much.
I would be anxious about learning how to code because I was afraid of it. I can't explain why I was afraid but I was afraid I think because it was scary to imagine how hard it will be... But I tried learning it with a really friendly course and now I'm not afraid to soil my hands into it when I learn... It's nice
@Dreee
It seems like you tend to worry a lot. That sounds challenging to deal with. I am glad you were able to make some progress with the learning!
You may benefit from looking into these cognitive distortions
@Hope responding as a listener here!
- Think of something that can be generally anxiety-provoking and give us two examples, where one path leads to more anxiety and another weakens the cycle. Driving - if the parent gives in to the child and enables them to not learn to drive. On the other hand, starting with just sitting in the drivers seat, then going to an empty parking lot..,let the new driver become confident and comfortable in their own time.
@Hope
Think of something that can be generally anxiety-provoking and give us two examples, where one path leads to more anxiety and another weakens the cycle.
driving on the parkway
- leading to the anxiety: thinking I will get into an accident
- weakens the cycle: challenging my thoughts
@Hope
Hello,
I'm reaching out because I need support with my driving anxiety. I'm 33 years old and have been trying to drive again after years of avoiding it. I kept giving up in the past due to anxiety, but I've started taking driving lessons again and they're going well. However, I struggle with severe anxiety symptoms like shaking, getting red in the face, and feeling out of breath due to my fear of driving with my boyfriend.
My boyfriend has let me drive his car, which is bigger and has different technology than I'm used to. Initially, I struggled to understand it. Unfortunately, my boyfriend is not patient and doesn't explain things calmly or slowly enough to help me understand. He often grabs the gears and changes them while I'm trying to pull off, raises his voice, and belittles me. This has led to many tears and increased anxiety for me.
Due to his ankle injuries, he can't drive, so I have to take him to his doctor and physio appointments etc. He accuses me of not listening when I'm slower to react, and his behavior only heightens my anxiety and leads to more mistakes. It's been so painful that I feel like giving up.
When I drive with my instructor, I can face challenges with a clear mind and perform well. It feels like I'm moving forward with my instructor, but then I regress each time I drive with my boyfriend. I face my fears and anxiety with my instructor, but revert to avoidance and increased anxiety when driving with my boyfriend.
I could really use some guidance on how to manage this situation and cope with my anxiety.
Thank you for your support.
@BlossomGirvan
Good afternoon and can I just say.... I am so sorry that your boyfriend isn't more understanding and patient, because I understand EXACTLY what you're going through, having dealt with it in my husband's Tesla model 3. That thing is like piloting a spaceship, and it really spikes my anxiety.
Have you tried explaining to him how his reactions and impatience are making you feel? I use a lot of deep breathing each time I get in my husband's car (it gives me anxiety even when he is driving it, as he likes to use the self-drive mode that I don't really fully trust.
I am sorry I don't have more ideas to offer to help you ovecome this situation. I am here in solidarity!
Can’t wait to view this article, it’s going to be so helpful!
@Hope I have long term anixety growth and avoidance I avoid people that harm me treat me *** *** I have trauma