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Dreee
1 15,208 M Progress Road 1
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts461 Forum posts23 Forum upvotes41 Current upvotes41 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceApril 10, 2023
Recent forum posts
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Any advice on how to thread this friendship?
20 & Over Community / by Dreee
Last post
 November 5th
...See more Hi, I'm a 20 year old college student who struggles with low self esteem, people pleasing tendencies and speaking up for myself. I decided I'm going to be better, to speak my mind, to Change and place boundaries. It's been hard, sometimes I stammer when I try to talk to someone about how I didn't like what they did and if they wouldn't do it again, it's really been uncomfortable to voice my mind or to stop people pleasing like now when I'm in a conversation with people and there's silence, I don't try to fill up the silence and although it's uncomfortable because it feels like I failed to keep the conversation going I still do it either way. I'm reading a book on low self esteem and I'm trying to accept the fact that doing much things for people won't get you to be loved by them and so I'm trying to accept being lonely. It's been hard to communicate and it's even harder to say no, I haven't been able to fully turn someone down yet but now I can say no to things like "no, I can't lend you my pen" or "no I can't play this game with you" and i know it might sound insignificant but I'd like to believe there's a difference, I'd like to believe I'm changing. Where was I getting to with this? Oh yes, so I have this friend/roommate and I don't like how she speaks to me like for example I tried something by stop wearing my signature cloth and she told me that it was bad and why did I try that? And at first I didn't think about it much although her words pained me, my other roommates even told her that she was being silly and one of my roommates told me I need to put some distance between I and her because she talks without filters and has no boundaries. Sometimes she'd speak for me when talking to people when people ask me to stand up for myself and she'd reply with "she can't, it's not just her" I understand that I do blabber a lot to her about my problems and life and what not but sometimes what she says hurts and she's always acting like she knows me best and speaks for me like it's my thoughts and I never really saw it as a problem but when she says those things, it feels like I'm not changing. I'm sorry if this is long but I feel bad and I just wanted an outlet coz no one ever gets it. I don't want to hate her because she can be a good friend when I need but her words cut me into pieces and I think I'm having resentment and now I'm doubting myself if I can change or even tell her how I feel about this ... Sigh.
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Coping with cut ties.
General Support / by Dreee
Last post
 October 13th
...See more Hello... You may find it silly what I'm about to say or not but it us what makes me feel upset at the moment. I'm 20 years old and I'm in my final year of university, today I had a big presentation to present my achievements in the internship program we all per took of in school and I know I should've been focusing on my lines and what to say but I kept thinking about this guy in my class who's no longer on speaking terms with him... Sometimes I blame myself for our friendship ending, if I hadn't told him how I felt about how he treats me, if I hadn't ruined the good times would things be good? Would I have kept him but yet when I think about all the terrible things he said like I have a f*** up mindset or that he's embarrassed to be friends with him or he never liked how pathetic I was because of my low self esteem. I don't know if you've guessed this but I liked him, I know I shouldn't like him but he never gave me a definitive answer when I told him how I felt and yet I feel like a fool for trying my best to convince him. I had cut ties with him because he asked us to buy when I saw him in the hall today, I felt my heart crack a bit because it looked like he didn't care with the fact that I was existing in front of him. Usually, I'd try to apologize and beg him to forgive but I don't know why, my body just won't let me. I feel pathetic for caring about him when he doesn't, I always knew he was stronger and more self confident compared to me and I thought I had healed from this but I guess I'm just weak to the sight of him (sigh) P.s: the presentation was great btw.
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A choice between maintaining friendship or a good room?
Friendship Support / by Dreee
Last post
 September 22nd
...See more Hello. I'm in quite the pickle and I'm very indecisive as to what choice to make so I might as well say the story. I'm in my final year in college and I only have two close friends of same gender in uni, I'm quite lonely. I don't know how to socialize, anyway... Our university has a strict room booking system meaning you pay first, you pick a room first so first come first serve and I've been waiting for one of my friends to pay but they're giving me this vague sense of uncertainty because they don't even know when they're paying and now she also wants me to save a bed for her because she might not resume the first week and I'm not really the aggressive type to tell people 'hey! This is my friend's spot! So don't try to take it' at all costs. I'm starting to think that maybe I should pick a room by myself because I've been waiting for so long and all the good rooms are getting full.... And when I told my other friend about my concerns, she said 'we shouldn't betray her' meaning she doesn't mind waiting longer... But I'm worried, I can't control my friend's financial situation, I understand that but I really do want a good room not a stuffy room or that weird room that has leakages... Does this make me a bad friend? Because I don't think they would want to associate with me if I pick a room that doesn't have me in it, would they have hate me? And even being with strangers I've never associated myself with, scares me... I feel lost and emotionally burdened...
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How does one cope with the heartbreak of a relationship that never existed?
20 & Over Community / by Dreee
Last post
 August 20th
...See more I'm not usually the type of person to type my feelings outside but I'm pained and heartbroken so I'll let this slide. On my birthday yesterday, the guy I liked for four years blocked me? Why because I was too nice for him, because I finally got the courage to tell him all the things he does that makes me uncomfortable and then he called me a coward and I should have told him sooner and I know I should've but the fact that I'm telling him doesn't that count as something? But he didn't care, he left me on read and blocked me. Now aside from the fact that my heart feels like well a heart aching... I get it, I took in all that from him but I had the courage to tell him, but I wasn't expecting him to call me weak and then block me. It made me realize that there really is a difference in the perspectives of people. I thought that me trying to clear things up and have an open talk about it would clear things up but he thought me doing at that instance in time instead of telling him sooner was cowardly and weak. I really thought that being understanding to someone could solve any argument but what happens when the other person isn't as understanding as well? And why doesn't anyone talk about the pain from loving someone you never dated?! It's painful, it feels like the pain I'd get from having an imaginary boyfriend that almost proposed to me but I caught him cheating or something. I'm starting to think any form of loving someone is equally as painful, be it relationship or not.
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How to stop being a pushover
Anxiety Support / by Dreee
Last post
 July 24th
...See more Hello, does anyone have advice on how to stop being a pushover? Even though I know that the solution to my problem is to say 'no' I can't bring myself to say it, I feel so bad and then when people see me being a pushover in public, they look at me like I'm pathetic even my friend whom was a pushover like me, he stopped acting like it so is the problem me? I don't want to look weak anymore but I feel so uncomfortable when I say no and when I do say no, I feel horrible like I'm a heartless person and it hurts either way Does anyone know a solution? I don't know what to do anymore and I feel so weak...
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Improving or disillusioned?
20 & Over Community / by Dreee
Last post
 July 15th
...See more I've been thinking a lot lately, actually thinking a lot is the norm for me. Why do I feel numb? I can't explain it? Like there's something missing and I can't tell what? Have you felt this way before but then again I wonder why I feel this way with everything I'm doing right. I'm trying to be a better version of myself, I have a lot of breakdowns, panic attacks, low self esteem, social anxiety, an unhealthy tendency of over comparing myself to people and honestly I just cry a lot. In my journey in trying to be better because I can't afford therapy and well being my own therapist is kinda hard? Has anyone ever done that before though? Any tips, I mean I bought some glasses to put me into the 'therapist mode' but looking back at it now, not sure that was effective🤔 So if you have any tips, I really don't mind. Okay going back to what I was saying.... Trying to be better has been a struggle for me, I exercise now, trying to stick to habits, tryna read more books and also trying to improve my relationship with God... I'm not as uhm disfunctional as I used to be but I still hate myself and compare, oh and I forgot I'm lonely too. I'm improving but it feels like there are so many holes I haven't patched up? Is this normal or am I failing at it or too slow? I really can't tell if I'm moving forward coz it looks like nothing is changing but yet I don't cry so much and some days I smile more even though I don't have a reason too... That's why I can't help wonder why I feel numb? Am I missing something or just dissatisfied? I'm so confusing? I really wouldn't mind suggestions from anyone who's been here or experienced something similar and well I'm glad I have a community to actually share such deep thoughts so thank you.
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