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Dreee
1 12,843 M Pacing Forward 8
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts352 Forum posts17 Forum upvotes20 Current upvotes20 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2024 Member sinceApril 10, 2023
Recent forum posts
Indecisive in picking friends over a room or vice versa.
20 & Over Community / by Dreee
Last post
 Saturday
...See more Hello. This might be a very strange scenario I'm relaying but I'm running out of options and this is a really tough decision that I've ever had the choice of making coz usually things work out but not this time. I'm in quite the pickle and I'm very indecisive as to what choice to make so I might as well say the story. I'm in my final year in college and I only have two close friends of same gender in uni, I'm quite lonely. I don't know how to socialize, anyway... Our university has a strict room booking system meaning you pay first, you pick a room first so first come first serve and I've been waiting for one of my friends to pay but they're giving me this vague sense of uncertainty because they don't even know when they're paying and now she also wants me to save a bed for her because she might not resume the first week and I'm not really the aggressive type to tell people 'hey! This is my friend's spot! So don't try to take it' at all costs type of person. I'm starting to think that maybe I should pick a room by myself because I've been waiting for so long and all the good rooms are getting full.... And when I told my other friend about my concerns, she said 'we shouldn't betray her' meaning she doesn't mind waiting longer... But I'm worried, I can't control my friend's financial situation, I understand that but I really do want a good room not a stuffy room or that weird room that has leakages... Does this make me a bad friend? Because I don't think they would want to associate with me if I pick a room without them, would they hate me? And even being with strangers I've never associated myself with, scares me... I'm not getting any reassurance from my friend, I would at least think that she'd appreciate the fact that I sacrificed so much of time to wait for her to book a room but now she wants me to defend a space for her because she doesn't know when she'll be resuming like a gatekeeper? And she's giving me a sense of more uncertainty as to when she'll pay so that we can all book a room... I understand that friendship requires sacrifice... But I'm scared to sacrifice anymore. So I can either value my friends and try picking a room together which that too works on probability as we might get separated if the rooms available can't take 3 people at once or I can split myself and room with strangers... Oh and my uni doesn't allow lodging or living outside the school facilities. They have strict and overbearing rules.
A choice between maintaining friendship or a good room?
Friendship Support / by Dreee
Last post
 Saturday
...See more Hello. I'm in quite the pickle and I'm very indecisive as to what choice to make so I might as well say the story. I'm in my final year in college and I only have two close friends of same gender in uni, I'm quite lonely. I don't know how to socialize, anyway... Our university has a strict room booking system meaning you pay first, you pick a room first so first come first serve and I've been waiting for one of my friends to pay but they're giving me this vague sense of uncertainty because they don't even know when they're paying and now she also wants me to save a bed for her because she might not resume the first week and I'm not really the aggressive type to tell people 'hey! This is my friend's spot! So don't try to take it' at all costs. I'm starting to think that maybe I should pick a room by myself because I've been waiting for so long and all the good rooms are getting full.... And when I told my other friend about my concerns, she said 'we shouldn't betray her' meaning she doesn't mind waiting longer... But I'm worried, I can't control my friend's financial situation, I understand that but I really do want a good room not a stuffy room or that weird room that has leakages... Does this make me a bad friend? Because I don't think they would want to associate with me if I pick a room that doesn't have me in it, would they have hate me? And even being with strangers I've never associated myself with, scares me... I feel lost and emotionally burdened...
How does one cope with the heartbreak of a relationship that never existed?
20 & Over Community / by Dreee
Last post
 August 20th
...See more I'm not usually the type of person to type my feelings outside but I'm pained and heartbroken so I'll let this slide. On my birthday yesterday, the guy I liked for four years blocked me? Why because I was too nice for him, because I finally got the courage to tell him all the things he does that makes me uncomfortable and then he called me a coward and I should have told him sooner and I know I should've but the fact that I'm telling him doesn't that count as something? But he didn't care, he left me on read and blocked me. Now aside from the fact that my heart feels like well a heart aching... I get it, I took in all that from him but I had the courage to tell him, but I wasn't expecting him to call me weak and then block me. It made me realize that there really is a difference in the perspectives of people. I thought that me trying to clear things up and have an open talk about it would clear things up but he thought me doing at that instance in time instead of telling him sooner was cowardly and weak. I really thought that being understanding to someone could solve any argument but what happens when the other person isn't as understanding as well? And why doesn't anyone talk about the pain from loving someone you never dated?! It's painful, it feels like the pain I'd get from having an imaginary boyfriend that almost proposed to me but I caught him cheating or something. I'm starting to think any form of loving someone is equally as painful, be it relationship or not.
How to stop being a pushover
Anxiety Support / by Dreee
Last post
 July 24th
...See more Hello, does anyone have advice on how to stop being a pushover? Even though I know that the solution to my problem is to say 'no' I can't bring myself to say it, I feel so bad and then when people see me being a pushover in public, they look at me like I'm pathetic even my friend whom was a pushover like me, he stopped acting like it so is the problem me? I don't want to look weak anymore but I feel so uncomfortable when I say no and when I do say no, I feel horrible like I'm a heartless person and it hurts either way Does anyone know a solution? I don't know what to do anymore and I feel so weak...
Improving or disillusioned?
20 & Over Community / by Dreee
Last post
 July 15th
...See more I've been thinking a lot lately, actually thinking a lot is the norm for me. Why do I feel numb? I can't explain it? Like there's something missing and I can't tell what? Have you felt this way before but then again I wonder why I feel this way with everything I'm doing right. I'm trying to be a better version of myself, I have a lot of breakdowns, panic attacks, low self esteem, social anxiety, an unhealthy tendency of over comparing myself to people and honestly I just cry a lot. In my journey in trying to be better because I can't afford therapy and well being my own therapist is kinda hard? Has anyone ever done that before though? Any tips, I mean I bought some glasses to put me into the 'therapist mode' but looking back at it now, not sure that was effective🤔 So if you have any tips, I really don't mind. Okay going back to what I was saying.... Trying to be better has been a struggle for me, I exercise now, trying to stick to habits, tryna read more books and also trying to improve my relationship with God... I'm not as uhm disfunctional as I used to be but I still hate myself and compare, oh and I forgot I'm lonely too. I'm improving but it feels like there are so many holes I haven't patched up? Is this normal or am I failing at it or too slow? I really can't tell if I'm moving forward coz it looks like nothing is changing but yet I don't cry so much and some days I smile more even though I don't have a reason too... That's why I can't help wonder why I feel numb? Am I missing something or just dissatisfied? I'm so confusing? I really wouldn't mind suggestions from anyone who's been here or experienced something similar and well I'm glad I have a community to actually share such deep thoughts so thank you.
Do you feel this way to?
20 & Over Community / by Dreee
Last post
 June 7th
...See more Lately I've been stuck in an endless cycle of trying to be more productive, freezing up and then not achieving anything and procrastinating until the day ends with my thoughts swirling out of control like I just broke the universe and then I feel guilty not doing the work and I begin to hate my incompetence and put pressure on myself to reach my expectations but then you see others people that are your age and they seem to be doing really fine in being productive so what am I doing wrong? Why isn't it working?
Comparison to Peers
20 & Over Community / by Dreee
Last post
 June 6th
...See more Hi. I've been in this mental loop for a long time now. I'm almost done with college, but I don't feel like I've changed, I'm sure I've grown a bit and learned a few lessons here and there like 'don't do this' or 'do this'. But as a person I keep wondering if I've grown. When I see my university mates and friends I wonder if I'm turning out okay like them? And so I decided I'd change the aspects of myself I detest like being messy or sleeping late, trying to exercise more, basically getting rid bad habits and replace with good habits, honestly it's been a struggle because my progress always feels too little compared to my mates in school. I mean I see girls go to gyms everyday but I don't have that opportunity, they're consistency, it bothers me that I lack in such a nice quality to have. And even in terms of career wise, everyone is getting new skills and becoming capable people but here I am, still wondering what skill to learn... Its crazy how certain they are to learn a specific thing, we're just starting our lives out and getting into the real world as young adults but how do these people know what they want to with their lives and why don't I know like them? As much as I want to throw myself into learning something so that I can show them that I know something too and I'm not lacking, I can't. Because my conscience keeps telling me to explore what skills excites me but if I keep exploring and everyone keeps moving with their skills when I haven't even found mine, aren't I lacking more? Does that mean I won't succeed like how they do since I'm so slow?
Fear of what becomes of my future self
Relationship Stress / by Dreee
Last post
 April 25th
...See more Hi, this is the first time I've ever done this. I never knew there was so much more to 7cups with features like this now that I've discovered this I want to let out a part of myself that no one gets or won't bother to understand. Usually I would tell chatgpt my problems since I only have 1 friend and well she's focusing on her own problems. I'm a young adult, I have controlling parents and I can't make decisions on my own because when I do it ends up being stupid and everyone complains as to how I could make such a decision so I'm scared of making choices. I'm always locked up in our house and I have no sense of navigation skills unlike my peers and mates that are independent and can go out or know where they are when they go out. I stay inside and I hate myself that I'm not independent like them I hate how much I lack I'm a pushover, I can't say no to people and my head gets fuzzy when I'm in a confrontation, I'm pathetic right? I'm trying to be better and set my boundaries but it's so hard because everyone just wants to trample on me and I can't shout back like other cool independent girls, I can just whisper, they don't shake when I talk and I don't blame them. I suck at my career, I just started taking it seriously because I never thought I could do it, I'm not as smart as them or determined like how they read and practice every night while I'm watching a kdrama, is it bad that i don't have that firery passion like them does that mean I won't succeed? If I put to much pressure on myself I'll hate myself so I thought I'd take it slow and steady. I just want to be the best version of myself but I'm pathetic and crumbling each time I try to be better...
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