Conquering Anxiety: Cycle of Anxiety
Hi everyone, I hope you are doing well. Last week we talked about what anxiety is and how it can impact one’s life. You can participate in the first post here. This week we will dive into the cycle of Anxiety! We often talk about anxiety but I have not seen the cycle being talked about that often it is an important pattern to understand to improve your anxiety.
Here is the anxiety cycle visualized
The cycle of anxiety, as illustrated in the graphic from The OCD & Anxiety Center
Here is how it looks in action:
- Public speaking: The speaker fears judgment, avoids presentation (temporary relief), but misses the chance to gain experience and the anxiety persists. The next time the same opportunity is presented, the fear is stronger.
- Driving: A person fears driving in busy places and avoids them initially but over time the idea of driving on busy roads feels completely unacceptable. What started as hesitance, becomes a deep-rooted fear.
Please take two minutes to watch this video on the anxiety cycle
📺Click Here to Watch the Video
So are we doomed then?
No, the interesting thing about the anxiety cycle is, that just as you can feed and strengthen your anxiety, you can also do the opposite.
Let's look at the already given above examples where we learned that if we avoid something we are scared of, we strengthen the feelings of anxiety associated with it. So if we wish to weaken the intensity of these feelings, we have to do the opposite! We have to face what we fear (this will be covered more thoroughly in the coming posts, we are just dipping our toes in the idea of facing our fears at the start of the series)
So what do we do when we are faced with anxiety?
You do the thing you are scared of. I know it is easier said than done but this is an effective method.
For example, if you are a new driver who is scared to park in busy areas, you do exactly that! But we don’t go into these situations without our handy grounding tools to help us get through it! These will be covered in the posts to come.
For this post, we are simply learning about the cycle of anxiety and reflecting on how we have strengthened and weakened it in our lives.
Questions for reflection
It is preferred that you complete the series on a member account but to accommodate anyone who wishes to use a listener account, I have divided the questions into Member and Listener categories.
(Members Only) Please do not answer these on a listener account
- Reflect on an area of life where you have struggled with anxiety think about the cycle of anxiety that has existed surrounding that topic and share with us what that cycle looked like for you.
- Think of something you were once anxious about doing but now you either feel reduced anxiety surrounding it or do not feel anxious at all. Do you think you knowingly or unnowlingly broke the cycle?
(Listeners Only)
- Think of something that can be generally anxiety-provoking and give us two examples, where one path leads to more anxiety and another weakens the cycle.
Further Reading
This post is part of the Conquering Anxiety series, you can find all posts of the series here.
@Hope
- Think of something that can be generally anxiety-provoking and give us two examples, where one path leads to more anxiety and another weakens the cycle.
- The dreaded "we need to talk"
- You'd get more anxiety by trying to figure out what it was about and worrying yourself
- You'd weaken the anxiety by telling yourself everything's fine
Earlier I used to be stressed about my studies as I always had negative feelings attached to it. For e.g. whenever I studied, time ran like anything, almost my whole day ended. This used to make me feel anxious that my life is getting wasted. But now my anxiety has even worsen. Even when I am not thinking about study, I am always anxious that i have to study later and i feel panicked now. Today I will try to overcome my fear.
@Hope
I guess I used to have problems with presentations and I often felt anxious standing in front of people. I would often excuse myself and say I was ill.
However, practice has helped me overcome that and I find that I am able to give presentations without so much anxiety nowadays
@Hope
I’ve struggled with asking for help because in the past I was neglected and then I lived with an abusive partner so asking for help meant I not only wouldn’t be likely to reach it, but would also be made fun of or insulted for having needs. For me my cycle meant that I’d avoid asking for help, then my problem would get worse and I’d need even more help, but that fear would make me struggle to handle the problem on my own, and then I’d be scared to ask for help again after it got harder.
By now, after moving in with my boyfriend, I feel a lot more comfortable asking for help. Sometimes he helps me without me asking, because I’m disabled, and always assures me that I’m not a burden for needing help for my disability or my anxiety. I have set boundaries with myself that I will not hurt my body or cause a flare-up/work past a flare-up. Sometimes this is still a challenge, but identifying what I actually need help with (and now I’m in a safe environment to get it) is so helpful.
@Hope
Reflect on an area of life where you have struggled with anxiety. Think about the cycle of anxiety that has existed surrounding that topic and share with us what that cycle looked like for you.
My family always causes me to have anxiety. They are judgemental Christian conservatives, and I work very hard to keep them on an information diet so they really don't know me at all. Which means they make comments about things such as sexual orientation, cultures, gender, etc. without knowing they are making judgments about me, because they don't know these things about me. I get very anxious about being around them because I know there will be comments and judgements, and I try to avoid them. Part of me thinks I should just tell them, because then I can stop feeling so isolated. But my fear is that they will not change, I will just feel more isolated because they will continue to be the same as always. It's not as if these fears are unfounded, they have proven over and over that they won't change. I want to just cut them off, but I can't because sometimes I need help with my son, and they always help. Plus he loves them, he doesn't know any better, so I can't keep him from them.
Think of something you were once anxious about doing but now you either feel reduced anxiety surrounding it or don't feel anxious at all. Do you think you knowingly or unknowingly broke the cycle?
I have always had intense shyness and anxiety in social situations. I would cover by making stupid little jokes but they didn't always land well. I worked really hard to just slow myself down and listen first in new situations, without feeling pressured to contribute right away. I knowingly broke the cycle and am much more comfortable. I still feel the anxiety, but I know how to deal with it.
@Hope
- Reflect on an area of life where you have struggled with anxiety think about the cycle of anxiety that has existed surrounding that topic and share with us what that cycle looked like for you. An area of my life where I have struggled with anxiety was in school/education. I used to be anxious when I have an exam. My thoughts used to be very negative like : " I might fail ". It impacted me negatively. It impacted my grades and also my mental health most importantly.
- Think of something you were once anxious about doing but now you either feel reduced anxiety surrounding it or do not feel anxious at all. Do you think you knowingly or unnowlingly broke the cycle? I noticed that my anxiety was affecting my school life. But now since I am aware of myself, I have realized that I am taking steps towards breaking that anxiety cycle. I think I knowingly broke the cycle.
@Hope
Think of something that can be generally anxiety-provoking and give us two examples, where one path leads to more anxiety and another weakens the cycle.
- Worrying excessively about what others will think can lead to avoiding social situations, which reinforces feelings of isolation and increases anxiety around future interactions.
- Gradually engaging in casual conversations with new people builds confidence, making social interactions feel less intimidating over time.
@Hope
- Think of something that can be generally anxiety-provoking and give us two examples, where one path leads to more anxiety, and another weakens the cycle.
Giving A Presentation
The amount of preparation you put into putting together the presentation will result into one path that may lead to more anxiety or weaken the cycle.
Path That Leads to More Anxiety
During the presentation, you feel unprepared and stumble over your words. This leads to more self-doubt and negative self-talk, such as, “I’m terrible at this, and everyone knows it.”
Increased anxiety makes future presentations seem even more daunting, reinforcing avoidance behaviors.
Path That Weakens the Cycle
Spend time organizing thoughts, practicing aloud, and preparing notes. Focus on manageable goals, such as clearly explaining one key point.
During the presentation, you feel more grounded and confident, even if minor mistakes happen. Post-presentation, you reflect on what went well and acknowledge your effort.
The positive experience builds self-trust and reduces anxiety for future presentations.
