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- Ramblings 3
Ramblings 3
Nothing new, same issues . I miss the people here. I have been really struggling the last few months. I have been really trying and it seems like I am going back instead of forward.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami No thank yous necessary ok? I just wish I could do more to help.
@mytwistedsoul
I don’t understand much about the mri results . I did put them in my writings further on here. There is one disc slipped left pressing on nerve root and one slipped right pressing on nerve root.
MRI is over. Back home in bed trying to regroup. I’m guessing that results won’t be posted until tomorrow.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami You did great Iam! I'm glad you got it done. Now the hard part - the waiting again but hopefully tomorrow brings answers. Will they call you to give the results or to have you come in?
They should call and depending on the results probably another appointment scheduled. Also, there is a linked system that should notify me so I can view results online.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami My doctor has that too. I never really know what I'm looking for when I see them. It'll be nice to know what's going on to cause all the pain and hopefully get it fixed
@Iamwhoiamwhoami you did it! You did it yaaaaay! I'm so proud of you ❤❤❤ gives you the biggest hug ever ❤❤❤
Laying here waiting and waiting and waiting. I want to contact my doctor about something for pain management but I need to wait and see what the scan results are first. I don’t handle pain very well anymore. I also am not comfortable relying on others for anything. Advocating for myself is not something I am any good at. Especially when it involves admitting I need help. I just about didn’t ask for a wheelchair at this appointment, my stubbornness was high. However, I could barely stand much less walk. I knew that by the time the scan was over that there was a possibility that I would need to ask for assistance getting dressed. I forced my way through that situation though. I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. Every day is a battle that keeps getting harder and harder to endure. I am mentally and physically exhausted. How much more am I going to have to take on. I have struggled all my life. I have not lived, nor have I survived, I struggled everyday with too many things, internal battles. My way to keep moving was to hide inside my head. I have had many things added to this mix of battles over the years. I have been beaten down time and time again as a result of these battles. I have continued this ordeal for far too long. This latest ordeal is proving to be way more than I can handle.
I have no reason to believe that this is going to get better. The older I get the more I realize that for me, today will always be better than tomorrow.
What will tomorrow bring? More of the same. Why should I continue on with this nonsense. I’m not going to magically get better. I am struggling with too many things to be able to handle the focus needed for this latest ordeal. I know it sounds like I am whining, and to an extent I suppose I am but I mainly am stating the facts as they are. Looking at all my writings here in many different titles or whatever they are called, is the proof of my point here. With the way things were headed I figured that my brain would shutdown before anything like this would happen. Just my luck, I got handed the game changer. Derailed by this latest one. I am stuck in a situation that is beyond anything I can handle. I know I have a couple of friends here which is wonderful. But that is difficult to bring into the day to day life.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I'm so very proud of you for doing the mri, ❤ through every battle life as given you, you've made it through them all, it truly amazes me how each day you prove all those monsters in your head and body that you are stronger than them all ❤I know having friends on here, might be nothing compared to having friends in real life. But I've never had real life friends, so to me friendship on 7 cups means the whole world to me ❤ I wish I could be there for you in real life too. But after spending a whole day with me, you'd barricade yourself in a sound proffed room😂😂 I know sometimes life sucks, but remember if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off😁😁hugs you tightly ❤❤ I love you ❤
@Tinywhisper11
I am in no way taking the importance of your friendship with me lightly. I never want to lose that friendship. I have never had real life friends either. I don’t believe that I would in any way be disappointed in spending a whole day with you. You should now by now after reading some of my writings that I live in the darkness, and therefore speak from that same darkness. So I hope you never take anything personally because of my writings.
❤️❤️🤝❤️❤️hugs you back
@Iamwhoiamwhoami oh no no no! I didn't mean anything by saying that. I just wanted to let you know I love you ❤❤ your friendship is important to me ❤❤
@Tinywhisper11 I never take offence to what you write ❤❤❤
I can’t seem to shed this shadow of impending doom mixed in with my thoughts. Like something terrible is coming in my life.
This is not a new thing to me . I have felt this before and that feeling has proven true.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami hugs you tightly ❤ whatever it is, and whatever happens. We can get through it together ❤
How am I expected to continue with this . I get up walk a few steps to the fridge grab a microwaveable croissant, walk a few steps to the microwave, already experiencing shooting pains, put it in the microwave for 90 seconds and then the pain escalated quickly, took it out and put it on a plate, started making my way back to bed, food was cold by the time the pain settled enough to be able to eat. Three minutes and I was in extreme back and leg pain.
Original results were this morning still waiting on doctors interpretations. Longer the wait the worse the results?
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I don’t think so. Do you have an appointment with the doctor to get the results?
Thank you for checking in . My doctor is referring me to a neurosurgeon, and referring for possibly some injections for pain. Currently putting referrals in now. No idea when appointments will be.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami hopefully you'll hear from the doctor today ❤ otherwise I'm sure you'll hear monday🙂 coping with pain and mental illness day after day is hard very hard, just got to take it day by day ❤ that's the good thing about living in a nursing home, people to help you with all your needs. Would you ever consider going into a carehome?? I know you don't want to accept help. And that's fair enough, I understand that ❤ I try to find joy in the little things, like watching the sunrise. Maybe when your physically a bit better, hopefully you will be able to do the little things that help you ❤ hugs you tightly ❤ good morning sweetie ❤
The following is the results of the original reading, they marked it as impressions? My doctors office still hasn’t responded yet.
1. Mild spinal canal narrowing at L4-L5. No other spinal canal narrowing. 2. Neuroforaminal narrowing which is greatest on the right at L4-5 where it is moderate to severe. Lesser degrees of neural foraminal narrowing as described within the findings. 3. Left extraforaminal disc protrusion at L3-L4 contacts the exited left L3 nerve root within the left L3-4 extraforaminal space. 4. Right extraforaminal disc protrusion at L4-L5 contacts the exited right L4 nerve root within the right L4-5 extraforaminal space. 5. Mostly mild to moderate degenerative changes as described within the findings
@Iamwhoiamwhoami I have no idea what any of that means😕
Neither do I. But I figured putting it here is a little easier to refer to so I can research it myself.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami ok just remember, if you look up symptoms of a common cold they will convince you your dieing. So don't look into it to much ❤
True , but I need to figure out what is happening. It seems that I am in limbo…
I will leave it at that for now. ❤️❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami yeah I know, it's ok to look it up ❤ the wait can be really hard on you🙁 just don't get your hopes up about anything, or don't think the absolute worse till you talk to the doctor ❤❤❤ I'm right here for you ❤
Well, to me the worst is trying a lot of short term fixes with temporary results because insurance requires trying noninvasive procedures first . This is progressively getting worse and it honestly feels like I am on the receiving end of someone’s voodoo doll. And I think because I’m open to my doctor about my severe depression that it seriously hurts my chances of getting medication that will effectively help with the pain. I despise medications, I have had way too many over the years and they have been mainly a waste of time and money. I have managed to scrape by without using medications. And now when I’m in the most recurring excruciating pain I have probably ever experienced, long term, enough to force me off my feet continuously, I am not getting much assistance in that regard.
@Tinywhisper11
Sorry I rambled again. I am thankful to have you in my life.❤️❤️❤️
@Iamwhoiamwhoami don't be sorry ❤ I'm here for you ❤ health care should be free for everyone, I live in the UK where it is all free. I forget sometimes it's not easy for everyone else, cost of healthcare is ridiculous and just an added stress when your seriously ill like you are🙁 insurance should be the last of your worries, I'm sorry sweetie 😥 I wish I could help you more. It's heartbreaking to know the pain your in. I really do love you, your one of my best friends ❤hugs you tightly ❤ and remember I'm still holding your hand, I always will ❤
patience is no longer a virtue I have. Nigh on a month of this latest addition. Still no answers. I hope I am wrong for many reasons. Including the fact I put a lot of trust in my doctor. But I feel that I am being ignored , possibly because I let them in completely to my issues. I don’t want to go to a different doctor, starting all over again with someone new… I can’t handle anything as it is now.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami wraps you up in a cosy blanket and hugs you tightly ❤ if we can't put trust in health professionals, then, well it would be very sad times🙁 your did right to tell him everything, well done ❤ it's Friday today, let's hope you hear something or at the very latest monday. You've been really pushed this month mentally and physically, it's not easy is it. But together we are strong ❤❤
Finally got a message from doctors office. They are referring me to a neurosurgeon plus referring for possibly some injections for pain management. I hope I don’t have to wait as long for these appointments as I did for the MRI.
@Tinywhisper11.
Thank you for being you..❤️❤️❤️
They are doing referrals for a neurosurgeon and possibly pain injections. No appointments set yet and guessing that it will be end of next week before I hear anything.