I am hoping to find a work from home job in the near future. Everything is soo far away here since we live in the middle of nowhere. It’s an hour just to get to work. But the longer I’ve been here, the more I enjoy the peace and quiet. I just really hate the driving.
Working from home would definitely cut down my gas cost and my car mileage. I lease right now and it’s not the best option for me right now. I just hope I don’t run out of miles before my lease is up.
I’m glad my advice helps you. I know I sometimes (always lol) don’t follow it. And it’s been nice having someone to talk to and vent ☺️.
yeah my walk can be a real hassle but sometimes it’s really nice and therapeutic.
leasing with that kinda commute is kinda scary. my friends used to disable the odometer (i think lol) so it would stop counting miles lol highly illegal i’m sure hahahah
yes your advice has been extraordinary for me. having someone to vent to is soooooo impt and it’s very underrated. sometimes it helps me feel not alone and not crazy lol and a lot of times i’m quickly over what upset me so it’s nice venting bc then it’s kinda gone when you’re done. did that make any sense haha prob not
i just noticed our chat started dec 1st…it hasn’t even been a full month lol that’s crazy to me bc talking to you has become a regular part of my day and i felt like you’ve already helped me make a lot of progress
I could definitely use an accountability buddy, especially for working out. Do you need one for any of your goals?
I try to keep the house but it’s hard with several dogs. Add on snow and rain and the floors look like nightmares. It’s actually going to rain here on New Years Eve so even if I mop that day, the floors will still be a muddy mess by the evening. I may ask if I can come up and visit her instead. At least then I won’t have to worry about the floors. It would be a hour and a half drive though. But I’ll think more about what I want to do.
I don’t want to spend all my vacation cleaning. I’m going to try to keep it to a day, two max. I’m taking the time off to relax and get my nerves in order. Not stress about cleaning.
It is a bit difficult since my ex partner and I have 2 very different cleaning styles. He’s wayyy less observant and organized in his cleaning. It sometimes drives me really crazy, especially when my OCD is heightened. I’ve really tried letting it go though, let him clean his way and I clean my way. As long as it’s getting clean, it shouldn’t matter the way I guess.
haha oh i absolutely need an accountability buddy. that sounds like a really great idea for us!!
it sounds like the decision is between cleaning or driving 90 min….how long would cleaning take? it would suck to clean just to have it messed up again. i bet your sis would be happy to see you and your home looking good ya know. idk its kinda a tuff decision. def lmk what ya think
your ex has his way of cleaning and doing things and you have yours. different but def not worse. i think you’re doing great. just keep making a little progress everyday ya know. and don’t hold yourself to anyone else’s standards. you and your hard work are strong enough to stand on their own merits. ur a big bright shiny star my dude lolol please keep shining bc you make my day…i can’t imagine what you must do to the people around you 🙂🙂 you prob make like 5 people’s days lolpl
What kind of pictures do you enjoy taking?
Are your teeth something you’d want to fix in the future? I know they can be a real confidence booster or breaker. But it’s something good to invest in, especially if it’s hindering your health in anyway. And I’m sure you look just as handsome, even with non perfect teeth ☺️.
That will be my new exercise regiment: committing crimes so I can do prison workouts while I’m locked up lol.
I’m trying to make less excuses. But like my therapist said: I don’t have to dive head first into doing something. I can start off with smaller, baby steps, building myself up until I get to where I want to be.
Do you enjoy walking to work? I’d love to be able to walk to places. It’s nice and convenient living in a city, I sometimes really miss it.
lmfao omg stop that’s so funny i fr laughed out loud hahaha
ur therapist is totally right. esp something like that. it’s daunting but once you’re in it and you see results, it’s easssy and u will love it
when i was drinking i was about 225-250….now im about 160. tbh i feel like i look sickly skinny lol i need to build some muscle. if i can get jacked i will be a fuggin dime piece hahaha
i grew up in the city but ive been out in the suburbs for a while now. its pretty dense tho so theres a lot of places in a close area. i really really enjoy my walks. they have helped me more than anything. it suck’s when the weather is bad but otherwise its absolutely great
oh yeah my teeth are real bad. it’s been a long emotional journey for sure. i’m still super sensitive about it. i neeeeed to get them fixed. i’ve had a major mental block about it. k think it stems from i don’t think i deserve s/hit. but now i kinda think i do sometimes…but then im like oh well i can afford it…and then theres always a bill to pay or a birthday present to get or something that requires my money more ya know.i admit it’s pretty psychotic lol
now where im at with it…..i have dental insurance but it says inactive. i was waiting until the calendar year changed to see what’s up with that.
im stressing the expense of this whole experience…its gonna be major. but i need this. might as well jump the fug in 🤷
Don’t worry, I get what you mean. Venting just releases those negative feelings and emotions, allowing you to stop harboring and fixating on them. It’s just nice having someone to talk to and cares about you.
Time flys when you’re having fun 😎😎😎 lol
how u feeling today??
u been doing rly great
be proud of urself
i hope u know ur actually cool as s/hit
I’m going to bed. I’ll respond to your messages in the morning. Have a goodnight! 😴🌙💤
ok good night
oh so today begins my final day of my holiday break. and i could use a little accountabilibuddying lol here’s my plan for today…let’s see how i stick to it. sometimes even saying the plan out loud like this can help make me feel like now i HAVE to get it done ya know
i gotta get this place cleaned up!! gotta take care of the trash outside. mf animals ripped into my full bags of trash lol i need to get my work laundry and stuff like that ready
tomorrow i work till 10pm and im back in at 10am. it’s brutal but if i prepare it rly wont be too bad. works pretty chill.
Good morning! I’ll try to respond to the rest of your messages on my lunch break. But honestly I may take a nap. I was falling asleep at my desk 😳 lol.
I hope you have an awesome Saturday. Any plans for the day?
I hope you’re making progress on your cleaning. Do you enjoy listening to music, a podcast, the tv, or total silence when you clean?
why are you struggling to stay awake today??? was something keeping you from sleep last night??
i kinda live my life with one earbud in lol i almost always have some music or podcast or stand up comedy album playing. it started years ago as a way to quiet my mind. it’s a constant distraction. now i’m feeling much different and much better but i still listen constantly bc it’s fun lol
im a singing and dancing lunatic haha not rly good at either. i’m down right hilarious just not very rhythmically gifted
my apple music rewind for 2024 did make me wanna cry haha it’s soooo bad it’s like embarrassing. i used one song as an alarm and now im like it’s biggest fan hahaha i swear it’s not like that
i slept extr today bc i still feel sick. but im starting my cleaning and laundry tasks rn
up first is myself lol imma get a shower 🙂
hang in there sleepin beauty!!! this to shall pass!! you’ll be in your own bed before you know it i promise just keep pushing
PROJECT UPDATE….lol
got a nice long hot shower. used my fancy shower stuff lol i have this one shampoo that is so fuggin next level hahaha
im a very weird dude 🤣
it feels so good to be completely fresh and in my new fav comfy outfit lol esp bc i’ve been feeling sick
i hit the vape store so im all good for the week
got my laundry started up
def gonna wash all my bed stuff
think i’m gonna take a little playstation break lol i got myself sucked into this one game. i’m not rly a gamer like that. i grew up playing the normal boy games (madden gta era) but i stopped for a long time. so when i quit drinking i needed something to do. so i got back into gaming. it’s been a great little distraction for me over the years. i am not very good tho lol esp compared to some of these kids online hahaha i like playing at my pace. it’s very fun.
i hope you’re doing ok today. trust me you’ll be home in bed very very soon. hang in there. you’ll be so proud of yourself i promise
the little project is complete. i have everything fresh and ready for the work week. i’m hoping i can go into work with more focus bc i rly wanna start learning more.
i rly hope you’re doing ok. you’ve been doing alot lately + work stuff + the holidays. i just hope ur taking time for urself.
Good evening. Work was another long day. I’ve been moving extra slow all week due to migraines. They sometimes keep me up at night. Plus my wisdom teeth have been bothering me. Plus plus I’ve been having a few nightmares lol. So a lot of things going on at night. I’ve also been getting extremely hot at night. But I need a blanket on me at night. With a fan pointed at my feet. I’m really specific. Do you have any sleeping rituals? Do you get a bunch of nightmares?
I thankfully am on PTO next week. It was a fight to get it approved though. And I still have to work next Saturday since you have to find someone to cover your shift; but there’s only 2 other people to ask and that’d be cutting their weekend to only one day. So I definitely wasn’t about to be an ***. I just really need a break from work. I can feel myself burning out, anxiety rising, depression creeping in, and a manic mood maybe coming on. I need to relax while I’m at home.
But I have sooo much *** to get done. Laundry, car service, shopping, dog grooming, house cleaning, dishes, meal prepping. I type all this out and I want to cry because I’m soo overwhelmed and soo exhausted and soo mentally drained. I just need a break to relax, take care of me, and do what makes me happy.
I apologize that I haven’t been the funniest to talk to. Or not answering all your messages. I’ll try to do better.
i gotta go back and read the first message but i need to tell you that you do not need to try better with me. you have already done a Tremendous amount for me. i hope im not being rude but you are toooo hard on yourself. plz be nicer to you. you’re my friend and i don’t like people not being nice to my friends lol
and i happen to think you are very funny. you’re sweet and thoughtful and charming. a genuine sweetie and i have a lot of fun talking to you
im sorry ur feeling so overwhelmed. i totally get it. you have a lot on your list and it can be super intimidating. but nothing on that list is beyond your ability. you are a very capable person def more than most. you can do it 🙂 and whatever you can’t do IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. it doesn’t rly mean anything it just matters a lot to us bc we wanna be better. but actually we are already better. we’re kinda the best 🙂 so even if you only get a couple things done…you’re still you. you’re still amazing and smart and funny
yeah im the same kinda weird at night haha big old furry blanket and a huge fan haha i need the air circulating or else i feel like i cant breath. i deffff have intense dreams. hard to remember them but yeah they get super vivid
you know if you’re ever feeling upset or restless at night u can always reach out to me.maybe i can make ya laugh and distract ya from whatever is on ur mind. i’m usually up super late bc of my work schedule. notifications here are wonky so lmk if u want my email or something.
i’m prob gonna need some of your motivational support tomorrow lol first day back after almost a week off. this might be painful haha
what i rly wanna focus on is being a different worker. i think i need to change a couple things to make myself better. i need to stop trying to be friends and stop trying to be funny. i need to learn more and more. but i get nervous and anxious around people…i feel shaken up inside and i do or say whatever to get the situation over in a positive way.
thank you for letting me be honest with you. i feel like when im vulnerable with people irl it kinda lessens me in their eyes. i dont agree with that, i think everyone has their vulnerabilities but i guess im from a ruff area so its not always the safest move lol