Have you tried telling your family you need more from them? Have you tried initiating family activities or time together? Maybe try engaging with them first. That way you can see if they’re willing to be there for you more?
Definitely don’t give into to temptation just because you’re momentarily going through something. Try channeling those feelings into something else: exercising, walking, meditating, journaling, house projects, etc. There’s so many ways to channel those negative feelings into something positive. DON’T throw away your hard work for momentary relief; it never lasts.
over the years i’ve def tried to be more involved with the family. i would give a bunch of gifts and message people. but i realized (like with everyone else) it wasn’t reslly reciprocated. like if i don’t reach out…they don’t reach out. and that maybe a small thing but after a while of it only being that way. it hurts. i just wish people would reach out more to just chat. when i set the bar low and it still doesn’t work…i feel like i must been seen as a bother or a loser or just annoying and weird. i feel like i don’t mean anything
I’m glad you’re improving in your relationship with the kittens. It took awhile for my girls to get comfortable and open up, but it’s really awesome seeing them grow and earn their trust.
Like you said, Lana loved you. She didn’t give a *** about your ex. Her indifference to Lana’s decline and passing had no affect on Lana. She was only concerned with you: trying to hold on for you, showing love to you, etc.
Your ex was trying to hurt you at a really difficult time in your life. Focus on Lana’s love in her last days. Focus on your new kitten’s love. NOT on your ex’s deliberate hurtful actions.
you’re so right. god that’s so good. thank you.
that part about lana holding on for me really got me 🥹 😢
it’s about 2am here. i should be getting ready for bed so i can go to work tomorrow but i somehow feel wide awake and completely wiped out lol i just took some melatonin so hopefully i can get some sleep tonight
i rly shouldn’t call out tomorrow bc i always need the money for something. never a rest there lol but im def feeling unwell. as of rn the perfect plan is to sleep wake up eat a bunch of oatmeal bc i haven’t really ate anything in a few days now. then im gonna go to work and have a real talk with my boss about feeling unrecognized while i see others get away with everything. idk wish me luck.
any tips im all ears
I apologize for the multiple, long *** responses. I’ll leave you alone now lol. Have a goodnight 💤.
lol not a problem i love the longass responses haha ill read and respond to them now. i’m still pretty wide awake unfortunately
thank you soooooo much for ur support tonight. it’s rly exactly what i needed. you have such a beautiful soul thank you again.
Good morning! I’ll respond to the rest of your messages a bit later.
I hope you have a better day ☺️.
hey. i got some sleep and got myself to work. talked to the boss told him im not don’t too well rn. he offered to send me home but then he would have to close bc the other manager is also out. i couldn’t let him do that so im here with my game face on
omw home from work now. i made it to the end but it wasn’t pretty. so i got to work and i immediately told my boss i needed to talk to him. i told him Im not doing well rn and i started to cry a little. he asked if i needed to go home. then i asked well who is gonna close the store? he said he would. i knew he was there since 5am so i felt like i couldn’t do that. i felt like i would have made my problem someone else’s problem. so i told him i would try to stay. i didn’t expect him to stay until close but i didn’t expect him to take off the way he did. so around 430 i was the only manager until close at 9-10. i was panicked. we were expecting a big corp visit and its the friday before xmas so we figured it would be busy. i’m actually hurt by the way he left. i was saying i was ok but it was obvious to everyone that i was not.
it made it very clear to me that my problems do not matter
I’m sorry you had another rough day. I’m proud of you for going into work though ☺️.
Now that you see your emotions and personal circumstances don’t matter at work, I hope you can start to pull back a little like we’ve talked about. You can still be a hard worker, but don’t be afraid to take time for you. If you’re truly not feeling well, call off. If you’re having an emotionally rough day and can’t put on a facade, ask for a half day. If you had a rough night, come in a little later. If you have important appointments or errands, leave a bit earlier.
Your workplace/job will always prioritize their needs. You have to prioritize your’s and say what you need, instead of asking for it. If they value your hard work and skills, they will work with your changing needs. If they don’t, you know where you stand in terms of how much they value you. It may be time to start looking elsewhere then.
I don’t mean to be insensitive but I had a really long day at work. I just got home and am beyond tired. I promise to respond to the rest of your messages tomorrow. I hope you have a good, restful night and get some actual sleep. Have a goodnight 💤.
wow you’re really good at this!!! that was all so amazing thank you!!!
i def thought we had something more at work. like genuine bonds and care for each other. they like to say they are but i dont really see it in the actions. you are def right. it’s time to pull back. i did it a little tonight but still sacrificed my lunch and breaks.
im constantly feeling dumb at work. people always have the answers and it feels like they are rubbing it in my face. i need to find a way to not see it like that. i know at the heart of it they are being passive aggressive with me. but it does me no good to get angry.
im so embarrassed for even letting people see me upset. i was always the person that would reach out to them and show a genuine interest. i always bring drinks and snacks in for people. i find out what their favorite is and i bring it in every day. i leave positive notes around for everyone. a friend at works mom passed away and i was checking in often. i really thought someone would reach out to me. then when im there they all avoid me. i literally don’t know what to anymore.
sorry for dumping this stuff on you. you’re very sweet and have helped me a lot already.
are you ok? how was work? how ya feeling today?
Work was busy. 2 people called off. So it was only me and one other person working. I didn’t take breaks or lunch at all. Definitely taking both tomorrow. And getting out on time!
I feel happy but have been feeling sad at home. My ex kinda said he needs to start caring for himself more. He does give a lot to others and doesn’t get a lot back. So I can see why he needs to. But I just have a bunch of new feelings to work through. So I’m trying to stop doing so many activities with my him. And stop being so intimate with him.
I guess when we first met, he was so giving, loving, and understanding. But he’s changed a bit. I understand life hasn’t been so kind to him. But I’m trying to work out if I can handle the “new” version of him. He’s not a bad guy or anything. I just don’t know if my mental and emotional problems are too much for him to handle.
And honestly I’m still hurt by the way he acted at the end of our relationship. I was going through a really tough time with medication changes, seasonal changes, and depression. He’s ex military so his frame of mind is to push through whatever you’re going through. He expected me to just pick myself up in a matter of days and get *** done. But I couldn’t. I was in a funk like you’re in now and I felt he wasn’t being considerate of that. I just felt so unloved and so unwanted. Like my presence was bothersome.
I don’t want to relive past; we’re trying to look to the future. But I feel like I need to tell him these thoughts before I can completely move forward from the past.
two call outs is so brutal. skipping breaks is something we’re both gonna get better at. it rly shows you care about your job and wanna do it right. sorry if they aren’t really appreciating you for it. they rly should.
the situation with your ex sounds rly difficult and painful. you still seem very sweet and considerate about everything. if you think you should stop doing things him so much then give it a try. see how it ends up making you feel. you might be happier then you think. no matter what you do i will def support you. oh and thanks for saying you’re proud of me for going to work. that meant a lot.
my relationship ended with alllllot of unanswered questions and unresolved things. if you have a chance to get the resolution you think you need then def go for it.
I know you’ve been having a tough time so I don’t want to burden you with my troubles.
no no please i insist. unless you’re not comfortable. i would love a chance to do for you what you are doing for me. and it’s good for me to get my mind off of this stuff.
i ended up having a nice heart to heart with my assistant manager. she’s a bit wild but she genuinely cares and i feel rly comfortable with her. she reassured me of a lot of things that were bothering me. it helped a lot.
you are so amazing seriously thank you. you are very thoughtful and i appreciate it so much.
i currently have both kitties all over me lol they got bigger but they are still so small and light. spade was licking my hair haha i think he thinks he’s cleaning me
Good morning! I’ll respond to some of your messages right now. (I apologize for responding soo late)
You DEFINITELY want to work on your self confidence before trying to date again. I learned, and am still learning, you have to value yourself before you can love someone. You have to love yourself before you love someone else. No one can make you whole but YOU. Sure an awesome partner will bring out your best qualities and improve you. But you have to put in the initial work to improve yourself so you can find a QUALITY person.
I say all that like I actually live by it lol. But it’s something I really struggle with and am trying to improve. I had stuff in childhood that left me feeling worthless and no confidence. Due to that, I saw people that didn’t value or care for me. I set the bar realtllly low and settled for crumbs. You owe it to yourself to WANT better. You shouldn’t have to beg someone to love you; to want to be around you; to want to care for you. Believe me, I LNOW it’s difficult and annoying, but you have to work on those core things before you can find someone who values and respects you. Remember: you attract what you put out ☺️
really hit the nail on the head here hahaha wow!
up until last week happened i was really beginning to like myself a lot. i was thinking mostly good things about myself. i’m getting back to it now. at one point when i was really bad drinking i couldn’t even look in a mirror. i hated it. now i’m like daaammmnnn whose that cute dude 😂
im joking but fr i am finally starting to like who i am. but sometimes i feel like i lose sight of who i am, does that make sense. i feel lost…wow that prob made less sense lolol
check us out we’re break up buddies hahaha
we are absolutely gonna get threw it! you def are and im just gonna copy whatever you do 🤣🤣
fr tho i am very proud of the effort you’ve put in. you did some really really hard stuff. i hope you’re proud of you too
My family acts the same way. It is soo hurtful to realize the people who made you, that should always care and protect you, don’t do *** for you. You try to reach out; try to settle for the bare minimum; try to please them. And they don’t give you anything in return. It REALLY damages you. That experience is something I’m still trying to work through. I honestly don’t have any advice for this problem, I’m truly sorry. It’s just really heartbreaking that you think family is for life. You can handle friends turning on you, breakups, backstabbing coworkers, because you think family will be there for you. Then you realize you’re completely alone and have to face this harsh world and life by yourself.
I will say, your people pleasing may come from your family relationships. I can say this because it DEFINITELY sounds like how I acted and still act. You feel like a bother to others. You try to bring gifts so you seem valuable to your coworkers. You don’t like recognization because you feel you don’t deserve it. Your bar for love is set low because you’ve been settling for the bare minimum your whole life. Your confidence is shot because your family never appreciated, valued, and, frankly, loved you the way they should’ve. These could TOTALLY be false assumptions though, so I apologize if I’ve overstepped in anyway.
But you have to work on reaching deeply for your inner love. Like I mentioned, you kinda have to rewire your thinking to not always put yourself down or put yourself last. Therapy is helping me A LOT in that regard so maybe you should consider that ☺️.
Just want you to remember I’m here for you and care about you and you are worthy of a good life ☺️.
holy shiiiiit 🤯 are you a psychic lol are you watching me 😂
that was 100% spot on dam!
as a little kid growing up my dad didn’t rly care. i would have to spend sat nights at his place but he would dump me on his mom. grammy was awesome lol his child support was $20 a week and he still couldn’t bother.
that last part really means so much to me. and has been so helpful. you have been an angel.
i hope you’re feeling good today bc today is UR DAY. put on some good music and vibe out.
