Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #9) Passive-Aggressive Communication
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Healthy communication is key!
Questions:
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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1. The silent treatment
2. Subtle insults
3. Procrastinating on Purpose
4. Sabotage (deliberately messing something up)
5. Keeping Score (People who keep track of favors)
I know that I personally sometimes end up doing #3: Procrastinating on Purpose. I don't mean to do it, sometimes someone may tell me to do something while I'm barely listening and I forget to do it, or if I go on my phone I end up forgetting to do the task asked of me. Watching the video, I understand that I should work on it and instead of just going along with it, I could tell the person that I'm busy right now or I can write it down for insurance.
@softMusic9759
I'm happy to hear that you were able to realize where you went wrong and are willing to do better for yourself and those who you interact with
@CheeryMango
Yes! I definitely agree!
@softMusic9759
That s a huge step! I am proud of you
@softMusic9759
I that that's an awesome goal!
@softMusic9759
Great answer
@softMusic9759 What I love is that you admit this and you are willing to work on this... we all have things we do and are guilty of and know we can work on things..
Hugsssss, Tye
@softMusic9759
I completely understand doing some of these things while not even meaning to.
@softMusic9759
Sometimes we forget to do things, so I'm glad that you have the self-awareness to understand your limits. Over time, things can get better, especially if you know there is a barrier at play. Thank you.
@softMusic9759 You did a great job by being honest here! I'm proud of you! <3
@softMusic9759
I am encouraged to hear your decision on how to handle such situation in nearest future
@softMusic9759 I think we all sometimes do things we don't mean to! I think it just matters that we learn from it and go from there :)
@softMusic9759
@softMusic9759
Great job! Keep it up!
@softMusic9759
Very Honest answer, Music 
@softMusic9759 nice response!
@softMusic9759
This is so understandable. My sister has always been that way and I know she doesn't mean to be that way. She commits without evaluating her capacity. It is great that you are aware of it. That's the starting point of improvement. All the best!
@softMusic9759
Really proud of you.
@softMusic9759 That's a great answer! I understand that passive-aggressive behavior can be very hurtful as I have experienced this kind of behavior myself. You're amazing though and don't be sad about toxic people. Would you like to mention how this behavior can be damaging to our community taking into consideration your previous experiences as well?
@softMusic9759
I like your proposed strategy of writing things down for "insurance" !
@softMusic9759
i like your honesty.
@softMusic9759
I`m glad to see it has been anexperience that has taught you valuable lessons!
@softMusic9759 - that's great!
@softMusic9759
that is a honest post :)
@softMusic9759
Im super proud that you realize this and are working on it!
@softMusic9759
Good answer!
@softMusic9759
I appreciate your honesty :)
@softMusic9759
Great goal! Well done
@softMusic9759
I definitly Agree!
Good Job!
@softMusic9759 great answer!
@softMusic9759
I also procrastinate sometimes not knowing I am doing it, then kick myself down for not completing a task.
@softMusic9759
Great answer
I like your perspective and that’s good you were able to realize through the video what you need to work on
@softMusic9759
I agree! Procrastinating on purpose is a hidden form that not a lot of people realize!
@softMusic9759
Definitely a great reflection!
@softMusic9759
Procrastinating on Purpose is wrong thing to do
@softMusic9759
I'm happy to hear that you are currently working on limiting your habit of procrastinating on purpose.
@softMusic9759
Great that you're working on self-improvement!!
@softMusic9759
Thats a pretty practical and informative answer !
@softMusic9759
this is a good answer to the question.
- Lena
@softMusic9759
Hello everyone,
1: The silent treatment, subtle insults, procrastinating on purpose, sabotage & keeping score.
2: I would say that the most recent would be subtle insults. I feel like I am on both sides of them, really simple to say but really hard to understand.
3: I have to say that any type of aggression is damaging to our community. Being passive-aggressive will only undermine our goals & mindset here at cups.
5. Keeping Score (People who keep track of favors)
@softMusic9759
What I admire is the fact that you admit this and you are willing to work on this
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
- Silent Treatment, Subtle Insults, Procrastinating on Purpose, Sabotage, Keeping Score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
-Procrastinating on purpose and Keeping score
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
-Passive aggression is so damaging for out community because it is a form of dishonesty and it can actually erode the trust and communication that are so crucial to making a community work for the better
@CheeryMango
That s true! Thank you for that response.
@CheeryMango
I never thought of passive aggressiveness as a form of dishonesty. Great insight.
@CheeryMango
So true
@CheeryMango
i agree mango, it erodes trust
@CheeryMango
I completely agree with what you said about how it erodes our trust and community.
@CheeryMango
Great reply here Mango. Would you like to give an example from your life where the passive-agressive behaviors "Procrastinating on Purpose and keeping score" was used?
@Aleks2
Would you like to give an example from your life where the passive-agressive behaviors "Procrastinating on Purpose and keeping score" was used?
"Procrastinating on Purpose": This particular one continues to happen to me whenever I work in groups for my college assignment. Whenever I am assigned a group project, I take the lead over the group and assign each person a task to help us get the project done in a smooth and effective way. There was a group member who waited until the night before our project was due to say that they didn't know what was expected of them. We had countless meetings with each to ensure that everyone was on the right page and help clear up any confusion that they may have had. The member attended each meeting and made it seems as though they understood everything about their part, when in reality they didn't
"Keeping Score": This has been a common trend that I saw in my earlier friendships with others. As a person, I like to go above and beyond to help those who are near and dear to me. If someone is in urgent need of my assistance or if I have the time to spare to go and assist them, I would drop whatever it is that I am doing and go help them. You can say sometimes I put them before myself. I was used to doing this with a particular friend of mine and she used it against me each chance she got. I was unable to help her with an urgent matter due to me having to study for my exams. She was very upset at me for leaving her to deal with the matter on her own and said that I can't just stop offering my help to her because of my own matters. I had her accustomeed to me always being there for and when I wasn't able to one time, she made me feel horrible and as if I didn't matter.
@CheeryMango
Your example about group work was very pertinent. Great post!
@CheeryMango
Amazing post! Very in-depth and well said! :D
@CheeryMango
This is a very in depth explanation! Thank you!
@CheeryMango
I like the comment about how it can erode trust and communication, very true!
@CheeryMango yeah it's true. It's a form of dishonesty.
@CheeryMango Great answer!
@CheeryMango
This is quite impressive
@CheeryMango I like how you worded why this is bad for our community! Good job!
@CheeryMango
Very correct, Mango! Communication is key to 7 Cups. Passive aggression makes the victim reluctant to communicate. So, this can be counter-productive for 7 Cups.
@CheeryMango
i think its great that You can self evaluate yourself!!
@CheeryMango so true!
A different perspective. I liked it.
@CheeryMango
Very useful and well structured information. Thank you!
@CheeryMango
so true :)
@CheeryMango
i agree that it can decrease trust, great post keep up the great work! :)
@CheeryMango
i agree that it can decrease trust, great post keep up the great work! :)
@CheeryMango
i agree that it can decrease trust, great post keep up the great work! :)
@CheeryMango
i agree that it can decrease trust, great post keep up the great work! :)
@CheeryMango
i agree that it can decrease trust, great post keep up the great work! :)
@CheeryMango
Well said!
@CheeryMango
I agree Mango! Well done!
@CheeryMango
I love how you are soo honest!
Greta Job!
@CheeryMango
Great answers
@CheeryMango That makes so much sense mango :)
I totally agree that passive aggression hurts out community so much
@CheeryMango
This is an excellent answer!
@CheeryMango
Great response!!!
@CheeryMango
So truee !! 🙌
@CheeryMango
this is a really good answer.
- Lena
@CheeryMango
Right! Communication is key to 7 Cups. Passive aggression makes the victim reluctant to communicate. So, this can be counter-productive for 7 Cups.
@Heather225
Hello! How are you?
The signs are the silent treatment, the subtle insults, procastinating on purpose, the sabotage, and keeping score.
I experienced all of them, but, personally, when people hurt me and the nice ways to solve it do not work, and they basically fail me, knowing it and being mean to me, I am capable of applying the silent treatment and the subtle insults. I do keep score, but I don t do anything about it, except when they fail me (for example, by knowing they are being mean) and the resolution skills don t work. Depending on the situation, I worry a little bit less about them (anyways, I still care). However, it s not usual to happen.
It is damaging because it messes up the comunication, the trust, and the supportive environment. It is poison. We are a caring, loving community. We don t need this kind of toxic actions, we need care, love and support.
@Daf8
I agree that it makes for a toxic atmosphere to the workplace.
@Daf8
Awesome!!!
@azuladragon34 @PeaceLoveandPaws
Thank you both!
@Daf8 I agree there is no need for toxicity to exist
@CheeryMango
Exactly! Thank you
@Daf8
excatly Daf, it creates a more toxic environment than help
@blissart
I agree! Thank you
@Daf8
I dislike miscommunication myself. I think it's great that you have such profound thoughts on this topic. Very insightful.
@SynSavory
Thank you so much! I agree with you, kind Syn
@SynSavory
Sometimes miscommunication just happens but we have to sort it out asap
@Daf8
Definitely agree!
@bookworm274
Thank you!
@Daf8
I never thought of it in that way. Yeah it could be toxic.
@Petrichor2000
Thank you! I'm glad about it
@Daf8 I think you nailed our community goals on the head - especially how passive agressiveness can damage what we all work so hard for here! <3
@CompassionateDreamer8522
Thank you! That's funny of you to say... Look at the awesome person who says it!
@CompassionateDreamer8522
Yes passive aggressiveness can damage our work
@Daf8 I am sorry that you've experienced so much. But we should still be thankful for those "bad" experiences, they are your teachers, and it helps a lot when we listen to others~
@Daf8
Daf8, thank you for your honest and forthright perspective. It does create a toxic environments- external and internal.
@crystalclearnow @Irena0225
Thank you both for your sweetness! *Sends love*
@Daf8
Completely agree with your answer to the last question! Passive aggression creates and promotes a toxic environment.
@shiningSound31
Aww, thank you!
@Daf8
You're welcome, Daf8 ! Hugs
@shiningSound31
*Hugs*
@Daf8 exactly!
@Daf8
I really like your answer "We need love, care and support" - that is what 7cups stands for to me
@amiablePeace77 @kateaala
Thank you both for your words
@Daf8
So sorry to hear how you feel hurt. Also really glad to see how you honestly observed your own passive aggressive behaviour. I think you're doing great. All the best. And lots of love.
@peacefulWarrior10
Thank you! I only do it in *very* particular situations. Thank you for your words! All the best and lots of love.
@Daf8
I agree. <3
@YoungMonastic007
Thank you for your kind words!
@Daf8
im guilty of the silence treatment too
@wanjiku
Thank you for your honesty, amazing person!
@Daf8 Perfect answer and well written thoughts!
@Anexmos
Like you! Thank you for your kindness and appreciation.
@Daf8
I agree!
@gigantCloud92
Aww, thank you for your words!
I agree 100% and that passive aggression causes a toxic environment
❤️ It definitely does! Thank you for your kind message ❤️
Hi @Daf8! I love how you brought up the fact that passive-aggression can create a toxic work environment and I definitely agree. Sorry to hear that you’ve experienced so much passive-aggression.
❤️ Aw, thank you! You are really sweet and thoughtful ❤️
@Daf8
Great reply, Daf.
❤️ And a beautiful bunny! *Hugs* ❤️
@Daf8
Can't agree more ! 🙌
❤️ Thank you for your considerate reply ❤️
@Daf8
you've explained it really good.
- Lena
❤️ Thank you, incredible being ❤️
@Daf8
of course we need care and support in this community
❤️ I agree! Thank you for your lovely response ❤️
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication? Silent treatment, Subtle insults, Sabotage, Procrastnating on purpose, and Keeping score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life? Keeping score
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community? It undermines growth and progress, causes confusion and self doubts for the listener, and fosters an atmoshere for gossip to flourish which affects the community as a whole.
@PeaceLoveandPaws
Agree! Amazing
@PeaceLoveandPaws Great insight that you have given Paws
@PeaceLoveandPaws You are so right my friend !! hugssss Tye
@PeaceLoveandPaws
I think the comment about how it causes confusion is very true!
@PeaceLoveandPaws
Absolutely agree. It leaves the person confused and undermines growth.
@PeaceLoveandPaws
I exceptionally love your take on how passive aggressive behaviour behaviour affects our community, and I totally agree with it
@PeaceLoveandPaws
i like your answer on how passive aggressive communication affects our community
@PeaceLoveandPaws
I agree, well done!
@PeaceLoveandPaws
totally agree why passive agressive not good for our community.
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?: They are 1) Silent treatment, 2) Subtle insults, 3) Procrastinating on purpose, 4) Sabotage and 5) Keeping score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?: I personally have done #2 and sometimes I don't regret it
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?: It erodes trust and turns people against each other
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
Silent treatment, procrastinating on purpose, , keeping score, subtle insults, sabotage
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
Silent Treatment
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Pasive aggression is detrimental to our community as it doesnt help in any way instead it increases discord, misscommunications, lack of trust , creates more confusions and disrespect which discourages all
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
1.Silent Treatment
2.Subtle Insults
3.Procrastinating In Purpose
4.Sabatoge
5 Keep Score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
All but the worse for me is Silent Treatment I can not stand this I am the type that I do wanna talk things out and not have someone give me the silent treatment.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
These are all very hurtful for the community and breaks down teams on the site and also when leaders do this it causes people to leave roles and the site or move to another team.. Leaders should never be engaging in any of these. Not answering messages is ghosting also same as the silent treatment and feeling ignored.
Tye
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
1. Silent Treatment
2. Subtle insults
3. Procastinating on purpose
4. Sabotage
5. Keeping Score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
I have basically experienced all, especially during my childhood. Silent treatment is most common and i still do get them from time to time but doesnt really work well with me because i am customed to be independent.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
passive-aggressive behavior is so harmful is because the behavior is so indirect you may think the problem is with you. It destroyed trust and security people feel towards you.
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
Silent Treatment
Subtle Insults
Procrastinating on Purpose
Sabotage
Keeping Score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
Personal issues being brought into a professional setting.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
It confuses and hurts people.
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
The signs are silent treatment, subtle insults, procastinating on purpose, sabotating, and keeping score.
I have experienced subtle insults which isn't very nice.
PA is not good for the community because it fosters a hostile working environment where individuals do things to each other, so even the victim may unintentionally become a bully themselves.
