Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #9) Passive-Aggressive Communication
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Healthy communication is key!
Questions:
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
Silent Treatment, Subtle Insults, Sabotage, Procrastinating on Purpose, Keeping Score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life? Subtle insults
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community? We are affected by passive aggression as it causes discord and disunity among teammates.
@EvelyneRose
Agreed it causes disunity between team members!
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
1- The silent treatment
2- Subtle Insults
3- Procrastinating on purpose
4- Sabotage
5- Keeping Score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
It is sabotage. I have the misfortune of having different tastes from those of my mother and sister. They have the habit, when they don't like my outfit or my hairstyle for example, of sabotaging me in order to see me conform to what they like or prefer.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
It is a community that is a safe space for everyone who comes here. Passive aggressive behavior will take away this sense of security.
@Vintagechoc
Sabotage can be so hurtful, I am so sorry you had to go through that. I agree how it can destroy sense of security.
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
1. Silent treatment 2. Subtle insult 3. Procrastinating on-purpose 4. Sabotage 5. Keeping score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behaviour you have experienced in your life?
Subtle insult and silent treatment.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Passive-aggressive is toxic in a community environment. It destroys trust, belittles others and stressed them out.
@dancingMoment7201
I loved the point that you mentioned about it stressing them out!
@dancingMoment7201
Agreed completely!
Agrees @dancingMoment7201 *offers handshake*
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
Silent Treatment, Subtle Insults, Procrastinating on Purpose, Sabotage, Keeping Score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
I have come across Keeping score so many times!
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Open & healthy communication helps the community drive forward and being passive aggressive doesnt help with that, it also causes trust issues among ourselves and ruin the kind vibes we have in the community.
Agreed @River *offers handshake*
@Heather225
Questions:
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
1. The silent treatment
2. Subtle insults
3. Procrastinating on purpose
4. Sabotage
5. Keeping score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
All of them (5 signs). Mostly on my end I did 1. The silent treatment and 5. Keeping score.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Because it strives against all of the openness, empathy, compassion, supportive, and collaborative values of our beloved 7 Cups community.
@WatchingOverYou
i truely love your expression of seven cups!
@Heather225
5 passive-aggressive tactics are
1 The Silent Treatment
2 Subtle insults. Ambiguous, confusing statements, that can be construed as insults, or not, keeping the victim wondering
3 Procrastinating on purpose: repeatedly failing to deliver on promises, as a way of boasting power over when things will be done (it’s them, not you who decides)
4 Sabotage: secretly damaging the work done by the victim
5 Keeping score: changing a supposedly altruistic behavior into a “quid pro quo” one, failing to contribute to the relation, as a secret reprisal for a perceived imbalance in the exchange of reciprocal favors.
I have experienced “The Silent Treatment”, many, many times. It’s a horror classic.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Passive aggression corrodes the network of human relations that make any Community. It demolishes the morale of any group, sows confusion, so people don’t know where they stand, destroys Trust, hinders motivation, and erodes the ethical values that give meaning and purpose to a Community.
Its stealthy, surreptitious nature, makes it a most dangerous threat against a Community based on trust, mutual understanding, honest communication, and altruistic service for a common noble purpose.
@WelcomeToChat I think you did a great job of explaining why it's damaging to a community.
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
The silent treatment, Subtle insults, Procrastinating on Purpose, Sabotage, Keeping Score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
keeping score and subtle insults
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
i always view our seven cups community and the relationships we form here to be supportive and wanting to help eachother grow but passive aggresive communication isn't the way if you want to end up helping eachother grow and also it wouldn't be of much help when people want to trust and count on eachother and when people want to maintain a safe and welcoming atmosphere
Agreed @Listeningsarinn. *offers handshake*
@DonaldDraper
*shakes hands*
@Heather225
The 5 forms that passive aggression can take form are: 1) the silent treatment 2) Procastinating on purpose 3) Sabotage 4) Subtle insults 5) Keeping score
I personally am the user of silent treatment, i don't necessarily want there other party to feel guilty but I just close in
Being passive aggressive can have so many negative effect on a person, it makes them self doubt and sometimes even second guess their decisions. This is really harmful for someone who is in some way or other insecure from before and as a matter of fact, thats majority of us
The five signs are
1. The silent treatment
2. Subtle insults
3. Procrastinating on Purpose
4. Sabotage (deliberately messing something up)
5. Keeping Score (People who keep track of favors)
One recent example would be of that would be me giving the silent treatment to my friend and he giving back Subtle Insults. Which resulted in me giving more silent treatment and affecting our old friendship.
Our community relies on help and support from peers. Any passive-aggressive behaviour would, directly and indirectly, lead to its weakening.
@DonaldDraper
I like your take on this.
@Heather225
1. The silent treatment - that shows that there still is a problem, by ignoring the other person.
Subtle insult - they confuse the person and undermine their confidence.
Procrastinating on purpose - this shows that the other person has control on your schedule and that you have no control over it.
Sabotage - this mean the other person is purposely going to mess things up or "bungle", as it was said.
Keeping score - keeping track of things and favors you've done to other people and asking for them to pay them back.
2. I have experienced the silent treatment and the keeping score part.
3. Passive aggression on our community is damaging because it's hurting other people's feelings and is making them feel like they are less than others.
@kateaala
I fully agree to you, passive aggression is hurting people's feelings!
@kateaala
Very well said
@kateaala
I really appreciate your point that passive aggressive behavior can make people feel less than others, that is so true! And it is so destructive, very good point to share!
@kateaala
The silent is terrible in any type of relationship with people.
@kateaala Great answer! It's nice that you analyzed each of the 5 signs of passive aggressive communication!
@kateaala
A fine answer. Precise!
Great post! I too have experienced the silent treatment. I like how you explained all 5 points! @kateaala
@kateaala
I totally agree with your point of view - such treatment can be really hurtful for others
@kateaala
Great response!
@kateaala
I appreciate how you are honest about keeping score and I think there is a great lesson to absorb from your honesty.
I agree that passive aggressive behaviour is direly damaging to the community as a whole and it is important to not make others feel less than because we can't directly address our problems.
Best of luck with your LDP Journey!
@KateDoskocilova, thank you for sharing about what you have experienced. No one ever wants to receive the silent treatment or be kept score of. When score is kept then it leads to further issues usually as one tries to get ahead of the other. Hang in there
@KateDoskocilova, thank you for sharing about what you have experienced. No one ever wants to receive the silent treatment or be kept score of. When score is kept then it leads to further issues usually as one tries to get ahead of the other. Hang in there
@KateDoskocilova
Well done on answering the questions