Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #9) Passive-Aggressive Communication
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Healthy communication is key!
Questions:
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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@Heather225
Silent Treatment, Subtle Insults, Procrastinating on Purpose, Sabotage, Keeping Score.
The most common for me is procrastinating. I'm quite a perfectionist and I keep waiting for the perfect time or the perfect opportunity to start, and I keep forgeting that the most important is to start.
I think they do not allow our community to work better and be as productive as possible.
@queenviebsonly
I agree that passive-agressive communications would hinder productivity as it isn't a healthy form of communication. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
@Heather225
1. The five signs of passive-aggressive communication are the silent treatment, subtle insults, procrastinating on purpose, sabotage and keeping score.
2. I have experienced all forms of passive aggressive behavior, especially at school but the most frequent is someone trying to sabotage something good that I try to do. It is hard to deal with these behaviors because they're toxic and the person that treats someone that way will not admit their behavior as it is very discreet but causes harm. It's hard to find justice but it's these people have their own personal issues within themselves and that's why they're even afraid to admit that their behavior is hurtful to their own self.
3. Reacting it that way can be only damaging to the person doing that and others. If we're acting weirdly but not explaining why, the other person will not know what they have done wrong and how to improve it, while the passive-aggressive person will still be mad at them and put the problem in a circle. Also, damaging or not cooperating can have negative results for the whole team when we're referring to group support or projects that we work on together. This behavior can really hurt someone that want to improve themselves and don't know how, and it can also hurt the person that has a bad behavior towards them because they don't talk and they can't know how the other one feels about it. Being straight and honest takes courage and it would be a challenge for someone to do, so it can make up a motivation to become a better person. This behavior is completely against to our goal. We should remember to be supportive, understanding and compassionate because that's what we do.
@SofiaT2000
I like how you explained the impact of passive-aggressive actions on the goals of this site. Very well said.
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
1. The silent treatment
2. Subtle insults
3. Procrastinating on purpose
4. Deliberate sabotage
5. Keeping score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
I've had people give me the silent treatment, and deliberately sabotage things. And I know I've used 1 and 3 myself against people. :(
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Because this is a place where we need to work together and support the members who come to us. If we deliberately sabotage one of our peers, we're sabotaging the site for all of us - it doesn't affect just that one person. Backhanded compliments (subtle insults) undermine the warmth and compassion we try to build here, and affect more than just the person those are directed at. We need to be open and converse and not shut down.
@Wonderful
I totally agree with the point "if we deliberately sabotage one of our peers, we're sabotaging the site for all of us- it doesn't just affect that one person." I think this is amazing, as it is completely true! Awesome post!
What are the 5 signs of Passive-Agressive Communication?
1. The Silent Treatment
2. Subtle Insults
3. Procrastinating on Purpose
4. Sabotage
5. Keeping Score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
I have experienced all of them. It typically happens when there an unspoken or unresolved conflict! One example I had was with a friend, and she was upset with me over not getting to pick topic the group project. She kept trying to mess up the project, by turning it in late, (procrastinating on purpose/sabotage) and insulting me and the other members of the group. It was pretty tough to get the project done, and submitted in time.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Passive-agression is so damaging becuase it keeps us from moving forward, and it creates sort of a hostile enviorment. When you don't have effective and healthy communitcation, nothing can get done, and everybody is upset with eachother. It make it increedibly difficult to support other users, and gets rid of the trust and warm enviorment so many people love.
@cocoakrispies121
Thank your for sharing your thoughts on this topic, I agree that it;s important not to engage in passive agressive behaviour as it could lead to difficulties supporting users, which is really the whole point of 7 Cups!
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life? My partner would always say they would do something but weeks could go by and they never did it. They rebuffed reminders.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Passive aggression splinters people and creates hostility that makes working together difficult/
@soulsings
Sounds like a Procrastinating on Purpose, ya? That feels so frustrating. Hope things are working out well with your partner and you.
1. What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
Keeping score, subtle insults, sabotaging, procrastinating on purpose, and silent treatment
2. What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
Probably giving the silent treatment.
3. Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Because communication is key. Communication brings honesty, clarity, and precision. Being passive-aggressive will only result in confusion, dislike, and misunderstandings.
@anotherfrenchtoastmafiaa
Couldn't agree more, communities thrive on communication. Great response 🙂
@Heather225
The 5 signs of passive agression
1. Silent treatment 2. Subtle insult 3. Procrastinating on-purpose 4. Sabotage 5. Keeping score
I once had a friend who used to keep score and our friendship became toxic.
We need to be honest in our 7 cups culture to provide a high warmth environment which goes against being passive aggressive.
@lovelyParadise7651
Thanks for you're sharing your thoughts on this topic, I agree that passive agressive behaviour could damage the high warmth environment here.
The five signs of passive-aggressive communication are: the silent treatment, subtle insults, procrastinating on purpose, sabotage, and keeping score.
One example of passive-aggressive behavior I’ve experienced in my life is the silent treatment, which I’ve often experienced from friends and family.
Passive aggression is incredibly damaging to our community as it goes against several of the community’s values, notably, it diminishes the overall trust within the community, and it fosters an environment prone to gossip and triangulation.
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
The silent treatment (someone stops speaking to you or responding to messages to let you know there is a problem between you), subtle insults (insults that can confuse or undermine confidence), procrastinating on purpose (not doing something you have asked them today to let you know they are in control), sabotage (taking actions to mess things up for you, can look like an accident) and keeping score (keeping track of help given rather than offering help freely as a friend).
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
I have definitely experienced the silent treatment in the past, it is very disconcerting as it closes off communication and leaves you guessing what the other person is thinking, which can definitely make the situation worse.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Passive agression is damaging because it can undermine confidence and leave people feeing insecure, which is not conducive to being productive and giving our best to the community. It shuts down open, honest communication which is necessary in a high expectations, high warmth environment.
@Gozzil
You really have put thought into this post and I really enjoyed reading your perspective on it. Very interesting 🙂
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
The silent treatment, Purposely procrastinating, Subtle insultes, Sabotage, The score keeper
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
My introverted best friend tends to use the silent treatment when she gets annoyed at me. And I have been known to retaliate to that with it too. It's not something either of us are proud of
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Because 7 cups is online based it's hard to hear the tone of people words so it's harder to tell if someone is being psssive aggressive or not. It can really confuse people and make them feel scared to contribute in the future in fear of passive aggressive comments
@Azalea98
You gave the really good point that 7 Cups is an online platform, and without being able to hear how certain things are being said or see everyone else's body language, the things we say can be easily misinterpreted. It's super important that we communicate directly, because otherwise, it's incredibly difficult for others to resolve or even understand the problem.