Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #8) When you don't get the role you want
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Hello, students! Let's talk leadership!
Many of you have or will apply for certain roles that interest you! And some times we get it and some times we don't! It can be difficult to find out that we didn't get the role, but we can control how we react to it.
Here are some DOs and DON'Ts:
- DO talk to the leader of the role that you applied for and get some input on what you can/need to do in order to get the role next time! Be aware though most leaders of these roles are busy so give it some time!
- DON'T bring the issue into the support rooms. If you are upset, talking to a peer supporter about how you are feeling is ok!
- DO take some self-care, self-care is good for any occasion but its best to deal with those feelings of failure or disappointment outside of 7 cups, things like going on your member account can be so helpful to overcome some of these feelings
- DON'T think that you are obligated to stay on 7 cups right after finding out bad news, especially if you are in LSR/TL and you see other listeners who have gotten the role that you wanted! It can be hard to deal with and it can cause unneeded jealousy or hurt on your part! Not everyone is like this but if you think that this is a possibility that you can think this way staying away might be a great option!
- DON'T take it personally, everyone is ready at different times. It can be hard for us to realize this but just because someone got the role and they might have been here in less or the same amount of time doesn't mean that you personally are ready! Everyone grows and accomplishes things at different times!
- DO get a mentor, in general its a good idea to get a mentor but for things like your goals on 7 cups mentors can be great and helpful! They can give you feedback, do mock chats with you, and overall help you with your goals as I said before!
- DON'T think you have to apply for every role and every team out there! There is time you don't have to apply for everything! Its super easy to burnout that way, and that can lead to more "rejection" and hurt that none of us want!
*Never let not getting a role the first time discourage you! You will be told when you can apply again and use the feedback that you get to better yourself when you can/decide that you are ready to! practice makes perfect none for us are perfect and no one will ever be! Its a good thing to remember no matter your role as a listener your help is greatly appreciated and you are still helping so many people!*
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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@Heather225
Getting roles on cups is a dream of every listener. Though there are times when we don’t get the exact role that we want. But we truly don’t need to feel low for it. We must wait and work on us for the best time to come. The discussion is really conveys an important message in the cups culture.
Following are my responses against the questions respectively:-
- If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I might ask if there is any specific reason because of which I didn’t make it so that I can work on it for if I reapply for the role again I ensure that I don’t fall out for the same reason again. Meanwhile I will thank them to inform me and I will ask if there are more roles where I can apply for the time being or when can I reapply for the same role again.
See you in the next discusion!
Spreading love!
Ash. :)
@Ashvillium
Nicely said! 
As you mentioned there's no need to feel low, a missed opportunity just means another chance to learn.
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I think I would not take it personally, sometimes people can make mistakes or forget what I had to do and who to add, is that there are quite a lot of us and it may be understandable that they forget, first I would take it easy and I would write to you with a lot of patience and I would ask you please if you could assign me a role. <3 <3 <3
@Crystaldancer
Oh, I think I misunderstood the question, my English is bad, I'm sorry, I want to say that I would take it easy and wait patiently for a next opportunity
@Crystaldancer
You never know when a new opportunity might pop up. So yeah, keep calm and keep learning..
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
To be honest I would be a bit upset for not getting the role, but at the same time I'll review teh feedback given to me and the reasons why i couldn't make it this time and use that to improve myself and try for it the next time. If i fail another time, i might have a chat with a mentor and get support on how i can improve in order to achieve this.
I would thank the leader for the time he/she took to evaluate my application and to come up with constructive feedback. I know it takes a lot of time and thinking to write constructive feedback so the listener could learn and grow. I would also mention that I'd work well and improve myself and apply again soon :)
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
I will process it first and then ask my mentor for feedback so that I can work on myself for the future. I will look at the feedback objectively and use it for my overall growth
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
First of all, I would thank the leader for taking out some time and ask if there is more to add to the feedback.
@Heather225
Question: If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
If I find out I was not selected for a given role, I should respond with a positive approach. I would say to the leader, who has informed me, that I understand I do not meet the criteria of a given role or that there are other people who are more skilled than me. I would take this positively and use it to improve my skills.
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I would respond respectfully! The leaders are clearly just doing their job. There has to be a valid reason to why I didn't get the role I wanted, and if I am still confused as to why that is, I would ask them! Even afterwards, if it's definitely certain that I didn't get the role - that's ok. In life we're not going to always get what we want. Things will not always go our way. What we can do is accept that reality and use it to our advantage. I will try again next time and recognize the skills that I lacked in order to improve them in the future.
@TheGoodHeartedBuddy
Hi Buddy! Being respectful is a really good thing to point out, and it is definitely so important to be polite to the leaders for doing their jobs. Asking for feedback is also a great idea as well, and using it to improve on your skills for the next roles you apply to is really good.
If I didn't earn a role, I would certainly be disappointed, but I would take any feedback that I receive as a learning opportunity! I would say "thank you" to the leader who has informed me that I didn't earn the role, since the feedback is truly important so that I can improve and grow as a 7 Cups listener and contributor. Once I fulfill all of the necessary requirements and make improvements based on the feedback, I would be eager to apply again!
@Nerdtastic01
Hi Nerd! I agree, taking it as a learning opportunity is definitely a good way to look at things and grow from the feedback. Thanking the leader is also a really good thing to do, and hopefully by taking any feedback and using it to improve you will be able to gain the roles you want in the future!
@Heather225
Hello everyone 👋👋
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
I would be disappointed and sad for a while and after taking some time for myself, I will feel at ease. I will focus on myself and see what other roles will be suitable for me or reapply when I am ready.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
Thank you for giving me this opportunity to apply for this role and also for giving me constructive feedback. I hope that I can learn from it so that I can improve and reapply for the role or see what other roles are available and suitable for me.
@courageousheart96
Hi Heart!
Taking some time out to process and care for yourself is definitely a good idea to help you improve and reflect, and I really like how kind your message to the leader is and how you focus on improving and thanking them for the opportunity :)
@courageousheart96
It's courageously awesome 😎 how you first acknowledge that pain of not getting the part and deal with it first.
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond?
I would first thank the person for letting me know, and then take some time out to process things and decide if there's anything I wanted to do next. I would then reach out to the leader and ask them if they had any feedback, and if they did I would work to implement that so I could apply for the role (or a similar one) again when it comes up. I would reach out to a mentor for that type of role and talk to them about the skills required and learn more about how they did it and gain tips. I would also try to do some mock chats and gain resources that could help me in the role, so I would improve as a listener and also feel more supported in applying for my next role.
What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
' Thank you for letting me know, I will definitely work on my skills and gain more experience to become a better leader and fit for this role in the future. I would love to hear if you have any feedback or tips for improvement. Thank you again for informing me about this :)' .
@Izzy274
Wow! 😍 Talking of high warmth, it's incredible how you start by thanking the leader who conveyed the news.
@Heather225
If you find out you were not given a role, how should you respond? What would you say to the leader who has informed you?
I should talk to the leader of the role I applied for and see what I can do in order to get the role next time. I should ask for some feedback when interacting with the leader. I should not bring the issues into the support room, but rather, talk to a peer supporter about how I feel. I should not take it personally, since everyone is ready at different times. Additionally, I should make sure to prioritize self care. And finally, get a mentor, since they could offer a lot of great advice and help.
@kindFish9215
Nice summary 😃... Easy to read and of course, they are all valid.