sereneButton43 Listener Profile

sereneButton43

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Number of ratings34 Number of reviews33 Listens toOver 18 LanguagesEnglish Listener sinceNov 20, 2017 Last activeover 6 months ago GenderMale PathStep 466 People helped150 Chats428 Group support chats17 Listener group chats4 Forum posts321 Forum upvotes429

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People interest me and I love providing support. I see more to you than your problems and would love to have a chat and get to know you. I hope I can be someone you're comfortable sharing with.

➡️ In listening, I try to build a safe place for you where you can freely vent about your thoughts. Learn more about what you can expect from a listener here.

📅 My availability here is quite low. If you want us to chat on multiple occasions, I will be available, but I can't guarantee consistency.

💭 If you're experiencing anxiety or overwhelming thoughts, I suggest checking mindfulness exercises here.

Recent forum posts

Thoughtful Thursday: Insight

Personality Disorders Support / by sereneButton43

July 3rd, 2022

...See more This will be the last Thoughtful Thursday post as mentioned in this thread [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/PersonalityDisordersSupportCommunityTeamEvents_432/ThoughtfulThursdayUpdate_274754/]. Insight is when we suddenly find a clear solution to a problem. In psychotherapy, it refers to the “awareness of underlying sources of emotional, cognitive, or behavioral responses and difficulties in oneself or another person.” (APA, n.d.) In this thread, I will be talking about insight in terms of awareness. Insight levels can vary- not all of us are aware of our internal world to the same extent. For instance, a person might say they were unable to go out because of a last-minute change that annoyed them. Now, if this person had insight, they might consider the deeper cause of not wanting to go out, “I don't like how my feelings were not considered when a change like this was made” then go on to “this might be an assumption, and anyway, things like this happen sometimes, am I perhaps overreacting?”. This allows the individual to take a different approach to the situation and they may then be able to take more helpful behaviours- in this example, could be talking about it or going out anyway. So insight is a component in our thought processes that reflects in our emotions as well as behaviour. Personality disorders tend to be marked by a lack of insight because most of them are largely ego-syntonic. Ego-syntonic is when behaviour or feelings are seen as consistent with beliefs and will. Ego-dystonic is when they’re seen as inconsistent. So if a person is perfectionistic and finds no problem with it, it is ego-syntonic. If a person lashes out at their partner and thinks that they overreacted, it is ego-dystonic. Hence, the focus here is on the beliefs and will where insight is possible. Insight can be increased. Most forms of therapy tend to focus on eliciting insight, even if the content of the insight can vary, like unconscious forces (psychodynamic, psychoanalytic) or thought processes in relation to interpretations (CBT). Some try to take a passive approach by allowing the client to gain insight by themselves by providing a conducive environment (Client-Centred Therapy). Insight can be increased by self as well. A lot of activities we do allow us to increase insight. Reading books, watching movies or shows, observing others, getting feedback, and so on. Anything can be a source of insight as long as we remain receptive to it by having an open mind. Unfortunately, we tend to have defences that sometimes keep us from accepting helpful information. Ex- “He thinks I am selfish? He is selfish, not me!” Instead, another approach could be “What might lead him to think I am selfish?” Here, information is not seen as an attack or taken personally. The aim is to understand and gain insight. Insight can be facilitated by journaling- writing down about the event and its occurrences sometime after the event and reflecting on it later. Questions Q1. What is a situation where your level of insight influenced how you responded? Q2. Any other thoughts about the topic? References APA. (n.d.). APA Dictionary of Psychology. Dictionary.apa.org. https://dictionary.apa.org/insight [https://dictionary.apa.org/insight] @Adeline12345 @ahhhhelpimalive @AlfAndthemachine @alleywood13 @Alwaysinpyjamas @ambitiousVase1322 @amicableDime9946 @AndreaDawn @arbanon @ARC80 @AutumnLauren6 @autumnthemoth @Avocado22 @azuladragon34 @b4Damion @berrymimi @bestcase @caringPerspective41 @CheerySandi @ChristmasGift @crang17 @cyanPlatypus6370 @dagaz13th @DamagedOne13 @dberryy @diamondintheROUGH2022 @DoggoMom @ebonyyyblondie89 @EddaLayla @emerijourney @EmotionalNerd @Everythingisbetterinyourpyjamas @fireyseastar97 @FloweringBunny @forcefulFriend4768 @Goldcherry2113 @GrahZeymahzin @GRAPSPRO2033 @GreenScarab @Hadeel96 @HashiramaNinja @healingHeart1111 @heartycitrus @HopeandFaith @Hyacinth22 @ImaginativePenny152 @imclover @indigoCup1959 @intelligentWheel627 @Irishrose78 @itsmeow @Jasminerice @Jish07541 @JoniGirl @K87 @kindTurtle3738 @LadyNikita @LavenderFlower @Lemino @LightsFromDark @LiliTwolsky @limeRaspberries2286 @lovelyWords13 @LoveTracker @maple23 @MeeshyRB @MelG919 @missg @Mkmultra @munchiegoosie @nervoussmiles @Nubia87 @OneErased @optimisticMagic0014 @OrangePeel24 @Oxymoron6demon @passionateJackfruit5095 @Piggy @placidShade4261 @Pointlesswords @QueenBee03 @QuietMagic @racqueldawn @raininglillies13 @Red789 @RelaxedPanda @RemorseCode2 @Rex0911 @selfdisciplinedBunny232 @ShyCat1678201 @spectacularCandy9984 @Stardew3 @Starilus @StrangeKat @sunflower2480 @Tamy4210 @Tatianaalize @toucans @Triscups @uniqueRose1689 @versatilePomegranate60 @WalkingCrow @Xe @YourCaringConfidant

Thoughtful Thursday: Dependency

Personality Disorders Support / by sereneButton43

May 4th, 2022

...See more Understanding Dependency * We tend to depend on a lot of forces apart from ourselves in times of distress. This can range from substance to habits to people. This article pertains to dependence on people. * While we depend on others to some extent normally, as social animals, excessive dependence can limit our ability to perform in the outside world and cause psychological issues. As we grow older, the extent to which we depend on caregivers diminishes as we start gaining independence. What can be called unhealthy dependence will vary across cultures as some value individuality more than others while some value collectivity. * People can have dependent personalities. When an intense need to be taken care of is present across most domains and matches the appropriate criteria in DSM, it is referred to as dependent personality disorder (DPD). Few things to keep in mind when you’re dealing with Dependency * Resorting to dependent behaviour is a tendency that can be manipulated over time by engaging in more autonomous behaviour. Self-confidence is a major component here. A person who tends to be overly dependent on others might not have the confidence of doing the same activities by themselves. Sometimes, this may not be very apparent. The person may simply refuse to engage in a behaviour (for example: eating food by themselves) claiming that they cannot while not even considering the potential of doing it themselves. This is understandable, after all, it's a habit that's existed for a long time and seemingly worked for them. So believing in the potential of doing things themselves and having a mindset that's prepared to try again even if there is failure can help kickstart the process. * Establishing skills that are conducive to relying on self can be helpful. This can simply mean learning how to grocery shop or making an important decision by looking up relevant information. * Forming relationships with others who encourage the individual to rely on themselves rather than doing stuff for them can be beneficial. While this may be distressing to the individual at first and they may even end up disliking the person for not doing their stuff for them, it helps establish healthier patterns in the long term. Questions * What do you depend on other people for? What does the experience of depending on others for these things make you feel? * Any other thoughts about the topic? @Adeline12345 @ahhhhelpimalive @AlfAndthemachine @alleywood13 @Alwaysinpyjamas @ambitiousVase1322 @amicableDime9946 @AndreaDawn @arbanon @ARC80 @AutumnLauren6 @autumnthemoth @Avocado22 @azuladragon34 @b4Damion @berrymimi @bestcase @caringPerspective41 @CheerySandi @ChristmasGift @crang17 @cyanPlatypus6370 @dagaz13th @DamagedOne13 @dberryy @diamondintheROUGH2022 @DoggoMom @ebonyyyblondie89 @EddaLayla @emerijourney @EmotionalNerd @Everythingisbetterinyourpyjamas @fireyseastar97 @FloweringBunny @forcefulFriend4768 @Goldcherry2113 @GrahZeymahzin @GRAPSPRO2033 @GreenScarab @Hadeel96 @HashiramaNinja @healingHeart1111 @heartycitrus @HopeandFaith @Hyacinth22 @ImaginativePenny152 @imclover @indigoCup1959 @intelligentWheel627 @Irishrose78 @itsmeow @Jasminerice @Jish07541 @JoniGirl @K87 @kindTurtle3738 @LadyNikita @LavenderFlower @Lemino @LightsFromDark @LiliTwolsky @limeRaspberries2286 @lovelyWords13 @LoveTracker @maple23 @MeeshyRB @MelG919 @missg @Mkmultra @munchiegoosie @nervoussmiles @Nubia87 @OneErased @optimisticMagic0014 @OrangePeel24 @Oxymoron6demon @passionateJackfruit5095 @Piggy @placidShade4261 @Pointlesswords @QueenBee03 @QuietMagic @racqueldawn @raininglillies13 @Red789 @RelaxedPanda @RemorseCode2 @Rex0911 @selfdisciplinedBunny232 @ShyCat1678201 @spectacularCandy9984 @Stardew3 @Starilus @StrangeKat @sunflower2480 @Tamy4210 @Tatianaalize @toucans @Triscups @uniqueRose1689 @versatilePomegranate60 @WalkingCrow @Xe @YourCaringConfidant

Thoughtful Thursday: Defensiveness

Personality Disorders Support / by sereneButton43

May 4th, 2022

...See more Understanding Defensiveness * Getting defensive is a response to perceived hurt to protect ourselves. * It redirects our attention to other features which counterproductively makes us unable to deal with potential issues that could otherwise be worked on. * This temporarily makes us feel okay but in the long run, the issue is unresolved and the person is unable to grow. Defensiveness often leaves both parties unsatisfied, sometimes with negative emotions. * Defensiveness can be due to many reasons. Commonly, the individual may struggle with accepting criticism or have associated insecurity, anxiety, hopelessness, etc. * The result of being defensive can be ignoring, justifying, blaming the other person for the same thing (projection), redirecting attention to other issues, etc. * Defensiveness is usually noticeable in body language because the person appears tense. * Defensiveness is a common response in BPD that leads to acting out. What we can do to not be defensive? It helps to recognize defensiveness when it occurs and try to take a few moments to respond appropriately rather than react emotionally. In contrast, by reacting instantly, we put no thought into the content and only focus on the elicited emotion (anxiety, for instance). This can be a strong urge that can make it almost automatic which is why trying to find the space to respond differently can feel unnatural and difficult. It helps to imagine this situation when you’re feeling relatively okay and think about other ways you could respond. Defensiveness can also be a result of not being able to assert yourself properly. Asserting appropriately can mean putting forth how it makes you feel without insulting the other person, which allows the other party to respond to those emotions and acknowledge them in a space without hostility. This [https://hbr.org/2013/11/dont-get-defensive-communication-tips-for-the-vigilant]link consists of a few communication tips to not get defensive in conversations. They have mentioned three steps that can be done when there is an urge to be defensive, which can be quite helpful. Questions Q1. When do you most commonly get defensive? You can also talk about someone else you may have noticed. Is there an alternate way you could respond to the situation? Q2. Any other thoughts about the topic? @Adeline12345 @ahhhhelpimalive @AlfAndthemachine @alleywood13 @Alwaysinpyjamas @ambitiousVase1322 @amicableDime9946 @AndreaDawn @arbanon @ARC80 @AutumnLauren6 @autumnthemoth @Avocado22 @azuladragon34 @b4Damion @berrymimi @bestcase @caringPerspective41 @CheerySandi @ChristmasGift @crang17 @cyanPlatypus6370 @dagaz13th @DamagedOne13 @dberryy @diamondintheROUGH2022 @DoggoMom @ebonyyyblondie89 @EddaLayla @emerijourney @EmotionalNerd @Everythingisbetterinyourpyjamas @fireyseastar97 @FloweringBunny @forcefulFriend4768 @Goldcherry2113 @GrahZeymahzin @GRAPSPRO2033 @GreenScarab @Hadeel96 @HashiramaNinja @healingHeart1111 @heartycitrus @HopeandFaith @Hyacinth22 @ImaginativePenny152 @imclover @indigoCup1959 @intelligentWheel627 @Irishrose78 @itsmeow @Jasminerice @Jish07541 @JoniGirl @K87 @kindTurtle3738 @LadyNikita @LavenderFlower @Lemino @LightsFromDark @LiliTwolsky @limeRaspberries2286 @lovelyWords13 @LoveTracker @maple23 @MeeshyRB @MelG919 @missg @Mkmultra @munchiegoosie @nervoussmiles @Nubia87 @OneErased @optimisticMagic0014 @OrangePeel24 @Oxymoron6demon @passionateJackfruit5095 @Piggy @placidShade4261 @Pointlesswords @QueenBee03 @QuietMagic @racqueldawn @raininglillies13 @Red789 @RelaxedPanda @RemorseCode2 @Rex0911 @selfdisciplinedBunny232 @ShyCat1678201 @spectacularCandy9984 @Stardew3 @Starilus @StrangeKat @sunflower2480 @Tamy4210 @Tatianaalize @toucans @Triscups @uniqueRose1689 @versatilePomegranate60 @WalkingCrow @Xe @YourCaringConfidant

Thoughtful Thursday: Flashbacks

Personality Disorders Support / by sereneButton43

February 17th, 2022

...See more Understanding Flashbacks * A flashback is when you involuntarily re-experience an event from the past. Flashbacks can sometimes be so intense it feels like the individual is reliving the experience. It can bring back a lot of emotions associated with the original event. * Flashbacks are associated with PTSD. * Flashbacks have various triggers which can be difficult to identify. It can be a reminder of the event, general stressors, or even some sensory feeling. * In response to traumatic events, individuals might be urged to dissociate to disconnect from the overwhelming emotions. * Grounding techniques can help bring an individual back to the present. They help reattach self to the present moment (“here and now”) by gaining awareness of the environment you are in. A well known grounding technique is 5-4-3-2-1 [https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/behavioral-health-partners/bhp-blog/april-2018/5-4-3-2-1-coping-technique-for-anxiety.aspx]. * Flashbacks tend to be a sign that some traumatic event is breaking into consciousness. They seek expression in order to process the underlying emotions the individual attaches to them. By expressing it in adaptive ways in contrast to avoiding them, it helps to deal with these emotions. Expression can be through writing, talking, art, etc. * Mindfulness exercises [https://www.7cups.com/exercises/mindfulness/?showlist=1] and visualization are a few more techniques that tend to help. What’s important is finding something that best suits you. Questions Q1. Do you get flashbacks? How do you deal with them? Q2. Any other thoughts about the topic? References Healthy Place. (2013, January 22). Flashbacks and Intrusive Memories: When BPD Meets PTSD. https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/borderline/2013/01/flashbacks-and-intrusive-memories-when-bpd-meets-ptsd [https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/borderline/2013/01/flashbacks-and-intrusive-memories-when-bpd-meets-ptsd] PTSD UK. (n.d.). Understanding PTSD Flashbacks and Triggers. https://www.ptsduk.org/what-is-ptsd/understanding-ptsd-flashbacks-and-triggers/ [https://www.ptsduk.org/what-is-ptsd/understanding-ptsd-flashbacks-and-triggers/] @Adeline12345 @ahhhhelpimalive @AlfAndthemachine @alleywood13 @Alwaysinpyjamas @ambitiousVase1322 @amicableDime9946 @arbanon @ARC80 @AutumnLauren6 @autumnthemoth @Avocado22 @azuladragon34 @b4Damion @berrymimi @bestcase @caringPerspective41 @CheerySandi @ChristmasGift @crang17 @cyanPlatypus6370 @dagaz13th @DamagedOne13 @dberryy @diamondintheROUGH2022 @DoggoMom @ebonyyyblondie89 @EddaLayla @emerijourney @EmotionalNerd @Everythingisbetterinyourpyjamas @fireyseastar97 @FloweringBunny @forcefulFriend4768 @Goldcherry2113 @GrahZeymahzin @GRAPSPRO2033 @GreenScarab @Hadeel96 @HashiramaNinja @heartycitrus @Hyacinth22 @ImaginativePenny152 @imclover @indigoCup1959 @intelligentWheel627 @Irishrose78 @itsmeow @Jish07541 @JoniGirl @K87 @kindTurtle3738 @LadyNikita @LavenderFlower @Lemino @LightsFromDark @LiliTwolsky @limeRaspberries2286 @lovelyWords13 @LoveTracker @maple23 @MeeshyRB @MelG919 @missg @Mkmultra @munchiegoosie @nervoussmiles @Nubia87 @OneErased @optimisticMagic0014 @OrangePeel24 @Oxymoron6demon @passionateJackfruit5095 @Piggy @placidShade4261 @Pointlesswords @QueenBee03 @QuietMagic @racqueldawn @raininglillies13 @Red789 @RelaxedPanda @RemorseCode2 @Rex0911 @selfdisciplinedBunny232 @ShyCat1678201 @spectacularCandy9984 @Stardew3 @Starilus @StrangeKat @sunflower2480 @Tamy4210 @Tatianaalize @toucans @Triscups @uniqueRose1689 @versatilePomegranate60 @WalkingCrow @Xe @YourCaringConfidant

Thoughtful Thursday: Confusion

Personality Disorders Support / by sereneButton43

February 3rd, 2022

...See more Understanding Confusion * Confusion is when an individual finds it difficult to think clearly. * We all feel confused sometimes, about what we should do, about what’s happening, why someone did what they did, and so on. * Sometimes this feeling can be intense and persistent, causing us to be distressed. This is when it becomes a problem. People with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) often feel this sense of confusion. * Confusion can be a theme in personality disorders too. When patterns of thoughts and behaviours interfere with our daily lives, it’s reasonable to feel confused about what’s going on, what you could do to improve it, and so on. Sometimes, there’s identity confusion because of all the instability you may be experiencing. Few Things to Consider * When you’re confused, it's helpful to have access to relevant resources about what you’re confused about. Most personality disorders are well researched and there are numerous articles available online on understanding them and learning how to better cope with them. Finding what’s credible and works for you can be difficult which is why it helps to have a person who knows about the available resources guide you. A lot of the information is difficult to find online. Sometimes all we want to know is “is it normal to..?” and in those cases, support groups of people with similar experiences help. A clinical psychologist is always ideal. * If your confusion is of a generalized nature without a specific cause, grounding exercises can help. These are activities where you reconnect yourself to the present and acknowledge your surroundings. There are different ways to do this, a commonly known one is the 5-4-3-2-1 [https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/behavioral-health-partners/bhp-blog/april-2018/5-4-3-2-1-coping-technique-for-anxiety.aspx] technique. Mindfulness techniques [https://www.7cups.com/exercises/mindfulness/?showlist=1] also help ease generalized confusion or unease. Questions Q1. When do you feel confused? Is there something that helps? Q2. Any other thoughts about the topic? @Adeline12345 @ahhhhelpimalive @AlfAndthemachine @alleywood13 @Alwaysinpyjamas @ambitiousVase1322 @amicableDime9946 @arbanon @ARC80 @AutumnLauren6 @autumnthemoth @Avocado22 @azuladragon34 @b4Damion @berrymimi @bestcase @caringPerspective41 @CheerySandi @ChristmasGift @crang17 @cyanPlatypus6370 @dagaz13th @DamagedOne13 @dberryy @diamondintheROUGH2022 @DoggoMom @ebonyyyblondie89 @EddaLayla @emerijourney @EmotionalNerd @Everythingisbetterinyourpyjamas @fireyseastar97 @FloweringBunny @forcefulFriend4768 @Goldcherry2113 @GrahZeymahzin @GRAPSPRO2033 @GreenScarab @Hadeel96 @HashiramaNinja @heartycitrus @Hyacinth22 @ImaginativePenny152 @imclover @indigoCup1959 @intelligentWheel627 @Irishrose78 @itsmeow @Jish07541 @JoniGirl @K87 @kindTurtle3738 @LadyNikita @LavenderFlower @Lemino @LightsFromDark @LiliTwolsky @limeRaspberries2286 @lovelyWords13 @LoveTracker @MeeshyRB @MelG919 @missg @Mkmultra @munchiegoosie @nervoussmiles @Nubia87 @OneErased @optimisticMagic0014 @OrangePeel24 @Oxymoron6demon @passionateJackfruit5095 @Piggy @placidShade4261 @Pointlesswords @QueenBee03 @QuietMagic @racqueldawn @raininglillies13 @Red789 @RelaxedPanda @RemorseCode2 @Rex0911 @selfdisciplinedBunny232 @ShyCat1678201 @spectacularCandy9984 @Stardew3 @Starilus @StrangeKat @sunflower2480 @Tamy4210 @Tatianaalize @toucans @Triscups @uniqueRose1689 @versatilePomegranate60 @WalkingCrow @Xe @YourCaringConfidant

Thoughtful Thursday: Stress

Personality Disorders Support / by sereneButton43

January 20th, 2022

...See more Understanding stress * Stress is a normal response to stressors or challenges that we find difficult to cope with. * As I had mentioned in an earlier article on trauma [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayTrauma_262276/], stress can be categorized into positive, tolerable, and toxic stress. * Positive stress serves an adaptive function, it helps us survive and grow because it signals the body to use resources required for certain events. This does not overburden our body unlike other forms of stress. * Tolerable stress is a higher degree of stress as a result of more severe events but we are able to tolerate this because of protective factors such as supportive friends, a healthy environment, and so on. * Toxic stressors are the same severe events but we are unable to tolerate this because of the lack of sufficient protective factors. This is where trauma exists. * Stress for prolonged periods drains a lot of our energy and can become a problem while for a shorter duration, it can merely help us adjust to events by making us more active, cautious, and so on (Cleveland Clinic, 2021). * In cases of personality disorders, stress is sometimes a common experience if individuals experience significant dysfunction. When stressed, individuals with BPD may develop psychotic symptoms which involve a distortion of their perceptions (Harvard Health Publishing, 2019). * For a person with BPD who tends to have turbulent relationships, the repetitive conflicts may become a pattern that contributes to severe stress. The stress then starts hampering the emotional regulation required to have stable relationships. Hence, it becomes a two-way process of sorts where the unstable relationships contribute to stress which contribute to unstable relationships. Few things to keep in mind when you’re dealing with stress * Keep in mind that stress is a natural response; it's a problem only when it is prolonged or hampering your life in any way. In such cases, you can do a few things to regulate stress. * Exercising and adequate sleep improves mood (Flueckiger et al., 2016). * A relaxation activity like meditating or deep breathing. * Expressing the stress in some way such as talking about it or journaling. * Finding other ways to deal with the stressor by looking online, asking someone, and so on. * Stress may never stop. It will come again and again because in life we’re constantly striving to achieve various goals that require more resources than we have at the moment and there are other hurdles too. Severe stress, however, is bad for your body as well as mental health so it's good to take steps to improve it. If self-help does not work, it is advisable to seek out a mental health professional. Questions Q1. What are some major sources of stress in your life? How do you deal with them? Q2. Any other thoughts about the topic? References Cleveland Clinic. (2021, January 28). What Is Stress? Symptoms, Signs & More | Cleveland Clinic. Cleveland Clinic. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/11874-stress Flueckiger, L., Lieb, R., Meyer, A. H., Witthauer, C., & Mata, J. (2016). The importance of physical activity and sleep for affect on stressful days: Two intensive longitudinal studies. Emotion, 16(4), 488–497. https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0000143 Harvard Health Publishing. (2019, April 24). Borderline Personality Disorder. Harvard Health. https://www.health.harvard.edu/a_to_z/borderline-personality-disorder-a-to-z @Adeline12345 @ahhhhelpimalive @AlfAndthemachine @alleywood13 @Alwaysinpyjamas @ambitiousVase1322 @amicableDime9946 @arbanon @ARC80 @AutumnLauren6 @autumnthemoth @Avocado22 @azuladragon34 @berrymimi @bestcase @caringPerspective41 @CheerySandi @ChristmasGift @crang17 @cyanPlatypus6370 @dagaz13th @DamagedOne13 @dberryy @DoggoMom @ebonyyyblondie89 @EddaLayla @emerijourney @EmotionalNerd @Everythingisbetterinyourpyjamas @fireyseastar97 @FloweringBunny @Goldcherry2113 @GrahZeymahzin @GRAPSPRO2033 @GreenScarab @Hadeel96 @HashiramaNinja @heartycitrus @Hyacinth22 @ImaginativePenny152 @imclover @indigoCup1959 @intelligentWheel627 @Irishrose78 @itsmeow @Jish07541 @JoniGirl @K87 @kindTurtle3738 @LadyNikita @LavenderFlower @Lemino @LightsFromDark @LiliTwolsky @limeRaspberries2286 @lovelyWords13 @LoveTracker @MeeshyRB @MelG919 @missg @Mkmultra @munchiegoosie @nervoussmiles @Nubia87 @OneErased @optimisticMagic0014 @OrangePeel24 @Oxymoron6demon @passionateJackfruit5095 @Piggy @placidShade4261 @Pointlesswords @QueenBee03 @QuietMagic @racqueldawn @raininglillies13 @Red789 @RelaxedPanda @RemorseCode2 @Rex0911 @selfdisciplinedBunny232 @ShyCat1678201 @spectacularCandy9984 @Stardew3 @Starilus @StrangeKat @sunflower2480 @Tamy4210 @Tatianaalize @toucans @Triscups @uniqueRose1689 @versatilePomegranate60 @WalkingCrow @Xe @YourCaringConfidant

Thoughtful Thursday: Need for companionship

Personality Disorders Support / by sereneButton43

January 8th, 2022

...See more Understanding the need for companionship * Companionship is one of our basic needs. Although the intensity of the need varies for everyone, we all seem to have it. It can be anyone ranging from friends to partners. * Not fulfilling this need can make us feel isolated from the rest of society. It can feel like you're one unit and everyone else is another unit. This may make social situations or even just being out in the public uneasy and exhausting. * Companionship does not equate to losing your personal freedom. It is possible to balance the need with the activities you like to do by yourself. * Companions offer a mode of support which can be a protective factor from distress. When you have a personality disorder that's causing you some impairment in daily life, having people to support you and just be there can mean a lot. * However, in some cases it can be difficult obtaining companions when you're struggling. People often steer away from those that are different from them. They might be unable to relate or understand the person who is struggling because their experiences vary drastically. It's especially difficult in cases of odd behaviour (like in cluster A personality disorders). * Fortunately, there's always people who share similar experiences as us as well as those who are willing to understand and accept them. This makes communities meant for that purpose helpful. It's always nice to be able to hear from others who speak from a place of experience and understanding. How to find companions? * You have some interests? Dive into communities where others also have them. You can also explore other interests or hobbies and hear from people who are already into it to see if you might enjoy it. Example: something broad like sketching or something specific like a sport or TV series. There's communities for everything online! In a lot of places, they have offline communities as well. * Get to know your acquaintances more. Reach out to old ones, maybe some people you want to know or even liked talking to in the past. Even if it doesn't work out all the time, that's okay. Perhaps it's worth trying. I often do this: I text people I haven't talked to in months and really get to know what they have been up to. These conversations can be fun and interesting! * Talk to your family and friends. Get to know more about them! It can be nice taking an active role in planning stuff out. A picnic, get together at a restaurant, music event, and so on. Just spending time with others is very valuable. For some of us, the need for companionship can be even more difficult to fulfill. This can be because of various reasons such as 1. Not having the framework of social skills required to initiate conversations. 2. Anxiety on trying out social endeavours because of past experiences or hurts. In such cases, it's nice to talk to people who you know will be supportive. Support platforms like 7 Cups, professional counselors/therapists, and so on. It helps get a headstart which might be all you need! Questions Q1. How do you satisfy your need for companionship? Q2. Any other thoughts about the topic? @Adeline12345 @ahhhhelpimalive @AlfAndthemachine @Alwaysinpyjamas @ambitiousVase1322 @amicableDime9946 @arbanon @ARC80 @AutumnLauren6 @autumnthemoth @Avocado22 @azuladragon34 @berrymimi @bestcase @caringPerspective41 @CheerySandi @ChristmasGift @crang17 @cyanPlatypus6370 @dagaz13th @DamagedOne13 @dberryy @DoggoMom @ebonyyyblondie89 @EddaLayla @emerijourney @EmotionalNerd @Everythingisbetterinyourpyjamas @fireyseastar97 @FloweringBunny @Goldcherry2113 @GrahZeymahzin @GRAPSPRO2033 @GreenScarab @Hadeel96 @HashiramaNinja @heartycitrus @Hyacinth22 @ImaginativePenny152 @imclover @indigoCup1959 @intelligentWheel627 @Irishrose78 @itsmeow @Jish07541 @JoniGirl @K87 @kindTurtle3738 @LadyNikita @LavenderFlower @Lemino @LightsFromDark @LiliTwolsky @limeRaspberries2286 @lovelyWords13 @LoveTracker @MeeshyRB @MelG919 @missg @Mkmultra @munchiegoosie @nervoussmiles @Nubia87 @OneErased @optimisticMagic0014 @OrangePeel24 @Oxymoron6demon @passionateJackfruit5095 @Piggy @placidShade4261 @Pointlesswords @QueenBee03 @QuietMagic @racqueldawn @raininglillies13 @Red789 @RelaxedPanda @RemorseCode2 @Rex0911 @selfdisciplinedBunny232 @ShyCat1678201 @spectacularCandy9984 @Stardew3 @Starilus @StrangeKat @sunflower2480 @Tamy4210 @Tatianaalize @toucans @Triscups @uniqueRose1689 @versatilePomegranate60 @WalkingCrow @Xe @YourCaringConfidant

Thoughtful Thursday: Instability

Personality Disorders Support / by sereneButton43

May 4th, 2022

...See more Understanding Instability * Instability can be described in terms of unpredictability. Anything including behaviour, emotions, attitudes, and beliefs show changes frequently and sometimes intensely. * Experiencing instability comes with a lack of self-control. * People generally seek stability in their lives so not only can it be difficult for the person experiencing instability, it can also be difficult for people around them because their usual expectations do not work anymore. * It makes for a highly distressing experience because not being able to stick to something such as a habit can be unnerving. Sometimes people struggle to find something they like because their interests keep changing. * Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is commonly associated with instability in emotions and behaviours. Emotions fluctuate intensely and rapidly based on triggers in the environment that do not usually evoke the same response in other people. Crying over a minor inconvenience is an example. Not only are the feelings intense, but they also take longer to pass. Medications, as well as lifestyle changes, can help regulate the instability. Some coping mechanisms like mindfulness [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/DBTuesday_2147/Module1MindfulnessDiscussion1Overview_261606/] can help do this quite effectively. A few things that might be helpful when you’re dealing with instability * Self-regulating is helpful when dealing with instability. Lack of sleep, exercise, self-care skills, and health in general can make this difficult. It is helpful to address those to an extent that is feasible. * Plan what you would do beforehand when you expect yourself to react intensely. It can be difficult changing learned responses to triggers even if you know they cause problems for you so when you plan beforehand, the likelihood of changing response increases. Think about what, how, when, and be prepared to fail sometimes because it’s a process that takes time. Sometimes just finding the space to take at least one deep breath when you’re urged to respond intensely can be very helpful. This is because it brings you back to a state where you can respond consciously rather than reacting by impulse. * In cases of behaviour instability, try to create a structure. It does not have to be rigid but you can have a basic framework of what will happen at what time of the day so you are able to commit to certain actions that are important to you. * Mindfulness techniques such as mental noting [https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/DBTuesday_2147/Module1MindfulnessDiscussion5MentalNoting_263782/]. Questions Q1. Have you dealt with instability in any way? What do you do to cope with it? Q2. Any other thoughts about the topic? References APA Dictionary of Psychology. (n.d.). Dictionary.apa.org. https://dictionary.apa.org/instability Salters, K. (2021). You Can Regain Emotional Stability in BPD. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/reduce-your-emotional-instability-425375 Taglist: @Adeline12345 @ahhhhelpimalive @AlfAndthemachine @Alwaysinpyjamas @ambitiousVase1322 @amicableDime9946 @arbanon @ARC80 @AutumnLauren6 @autumnthemoth @Avocado22 @azuladragon34 @berrymimi @bestcase @caringPerspective41 @CheerySandi @ChristmasGift @crang17 @cyanPlatypus6370 @dagaz13th @DamagedOne13 @dberryy @DoggoMom @ebonyyyblondie89 @EddaLayla @emerijourney @EmotionalNerd @Everythingisbetterinyourpyjamas @fireyseastar97 @FloweringBunny @Goldcherry2113 @GrahZeymahzin @GRAPSPRO2033 @GreenScarab @Hadeel96 @HashiramaNinja @heartycitrus @Hyacinth22 @ImaginativePenny152 @imclover @indigoCup1959 @intelligentWheel627 @Irishrose78 @itsmeow @Jish07541 @JoniGirl @K87 @kindTurtle3738 @LadyNikita @LavenderFlower @Lemino @LightsFromDark @LiliTwolsky @limeRaspberries2286 @lovelyWords13 @LoveTracker @MeeshyRB @MelG919 @missg @Mkmultra @munchiegoosie @nervoussmiles @Nubia87 @OneErased @optimisticMagic0014 @OrangePeel24 @Oxymoron6demon @passionateJackfruit5095 @Piggy @placidShade4261 @Pointlesswords @QueenBee03 @QuietMagic @racqueldawn @raininglillies13 @Red789 @RelaxedPanda @RemorseCode2 @Rex0911 @selfdisciplinedBunny232 @ShyCat1678201 @spectacularCandy9984 @Stardew3 @Starilus @StrangeKat @sunflower2480 @Tamy4210 @Tatianaalize @toucans @Triscups @uniqueRose1689 @versatilePomegranate60 @WalkingCrow @Xe @YourCaringConfidant

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