Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #5) Approaching Conflict Resolution: Dealing with Issues Directly

@Yourstruly2000

I totally agree with the fact we have to try not let it negatively impact us. Although it's difficult at times it is truly for the best. You clearly thought hard about this response 🙂

So very true to not let conflicts be seen as negative’ always best to remain positive! @Yourstruly2000

@Yourstruly2000 awesome!

1) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

-- Yes. I'm a HR manager. In my last company, the most beloved boss of the operations team had resigned from the company, leaving his team so devastated that they were not able to accept the new boss. And this included me too. I was fond of the ex leader, didn't like the new one, and was bitter with him for a month or two. Conflict was daily problem back then. I eventually stepped back to introspect and then attempted to bridge the gap between the new manager and the team (including myself) helping them see each others perspectives more liberally. I arranged various activities, sessions and communication channels at workplace to help either party be more kind and empathetic and understanding. Once the team became friendly with him and learnt about him personally, they understood more about where he's coming from. Agreeing is not the right approach, differing yet respecting each other's perspectives is the right approach! Conflict resolution needs customized approach. There's no one size fits all solution. This is what I feel personally.

2) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

-- Listening to the other person actively to understand what is actually bothering him or her.

Practice empathy to understand where the other person is coming from.

Giving time and space to the conflict to tame down and allow both sides to behave more rationally.

Choose one's battle.

@peacefulWarrior10

I really like how you solved that scenario!

@SophieWX

Thanks! I didn't have a choice I guess! It was only me who could do something to bring change. And change was mandatory. If it wasn't me, someone else would have had to intervene and do it for me. So why not me? 😄

@peacefulWarrior10

Really well done!!

@Ginevra962

Thank you so much! ❤

@peacefulWarrior10

I totally agree with this all, great point of view <3 Thanks for sharing!

Hi @peacefulWarrior10 lovely to meet you.

Brilliant answers!

"Conflict resolution needs customized approach. There's no one size fits all solution." <<< Couldn't agree more with that statement ♡

Cheers! ❤️

@peacefulWarrior10 great response!

1. Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

I have never actually been on any side of a conflict resolution situation, but I have been the mediator between my friends many times. As a person in the middle, I would try to listen to both of them, and try to get them to talk to each other directly! I found that direct communication makes dealing with conflict so much easier, rather than creating more complications.

2. Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

One tip I have is to listen to understand, rather than listening to respond. This can help you better understand the other person’s point of view, and it shows them that you actually care about what they have to say.

@NorahListens

Very well said!!

@NorahListens

When people go through conflict we forget that there's story on the other side. You bring up a good point about listening as well.

@Heather225

1) Yes. I was in one recently. I stepped back and let the person have the space to speak out.

2) I think reflection can work well in de-escalation (restating what a person said) and asking them why they feel that way.

@DonaldDraper

You make a good point about stepping back and letting the person feel heard.

@Heather225

1. Yes, I have. I resolved it by talking about it and discussing the reason of the conflict maturely.

2. Maybe let things cool off a bit before trying to fix the issue? That'll help by making us see things more clearly.

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

i think a discussion can even be good, you can learn from it. I think the conflict should be handled calmly and patiently, even if many times it is not so easy. I have to admit that in a conflict, I may not be right, so I always listen to the other’s opinion as well.

@Heather225

1.) Have you ever been on either side of a conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

Yes, in my job, as leader of an animal protection group and private life. Understanding where someone is coming from (thoughts) is crucial. What also helped apart from what was mentioned here, was to remind people we all have the same goal.

2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

I believe reassuring someone in a conflict situation that they are appreciated is very helpful.

@Heather225

Yes, often, members ask for help in arguments and seeks affirmation in their opinion, and while I confirm their validity, I also avoid picking a side, and instead guide them through the logistics so that they can reach an informed conclusion by themselves.

It would be a good idea to remember that each half of the conflict are both seeking affirmation of their opinions, and to be careful in how to give or not give the confirmations.

No, I've been lucky enough to never find myself in such a situation

It would help to listen and let the other talk without trying to always be the one talking. Showing emphaty and being open to new points of view.

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

Yes, getting the facts helped. I have found sometimes too it's necessary to accept a less than satisfactory resolution, but at least the issue gets ressolved.

2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

Set aside some time so the focus can be placed on the issue, instead of being distracted with other things.

@Heather225

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it? Once at my work place, one of my colleagues got offended to one of my emails, thinking that I was blaming her and she replied in a harsh way. Then I realised she might have misunderstood it and quickly went on a call with her and explained my point of view. Things sorted out after that call.

2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution? This may not be applied to our platform, but this can be used in real life. If not on text, my suggestion would be to get on a call quickly before it gets any worse.

We can include the ratio of 2:1, god gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth, it means listen more than you talk.

@YoungMonastic007 This was a great quote. Listening indeed helps more that talking!

@Heather225

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

I have been on one side of it, and in order to resolve it, I had to do a self-reflection, find my faults, and apologize for being the one in the wrong
2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

No, I think all the tips listed were very useful, and I think the most important part is always just to listen to what the other side has to say, be in there shoes for a moment and see where they are coming from, and that'll most likely result in a healthy resolution.

@BeautifulMasterpiece

You make a good point about listening to the other side so that they feel heard.

Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

Yes, discussed in polite and respectful tones and listened to their side to hear the perspective and acknowledge

2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution? No, but I can reiterate that communication is key

@Heather225

1. Yes, of course I've been in conflicts with family and friends alike. I usually solve them by focusing more on feelings the cause of conflict caused than the actual cause. It makes all the parties understand the consequences of what they said/did on others.

2. My tip to solve conflicts is not to blame anyone and insted make people understand the result of their actions so that they see things from not only their perspective but the other person's as well.

@Heather225

Yes I have. I tried to find the common thing between all of us and also be respectful and kind of the other person.

My tip would be to always listen to the other person and to keep in mind that they are going through a battle we don't know nothing about and that's why we should always be kind.

@Heather225

1. I have been present in conflicts that used to take place in my old classes. There was a very toxic person that was trying to create conflicts among classmates of different genders and usually managed to achieve it. It has been a very tricky situation and it really impressed me negatively how a person can affect such a big number of people in a group and make them fight against each other. Approaching the person to talk to them personally didn't really work but I do believe that my strategic was wrong back then as I got upset. Slowly, people started o observe this behavior as well so as a group, we were focusing on learning and when this person was bringing up a topic for us to fight we were changing the topic with the professor and if this person kept interrupting we were asking him politely and professionally to respect the purpose of the subject and that we're there to learn.

2. I have learned that the key is to not engage in fight. Keep calm and be sure about yourself. Talking in a professional way while not losing your politeness makes the person understand that we’re here for a purpose and not for fun, so they eventually follow the group. Changing the topic makes the person understand that hasn’t grabbed the attention and then stops because they see that they can’t achieve their goal to make you upset. Keep positive and bring pleasant topics on surface that will keep things calm. Remember not to fight and have faith that the person will stop. Think positive and positive things will happen!

@SofiaT2000

I think your tip about staying professional is great - it allows people to focus on the issue and hand and avoid getting so emotionally involved they can no longer clearly see the issue.

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? Yes with another listener

How did you resolve it? I tried to explain how I interpreted things and where that did not work I expressed respect for their point of view and opinion and tried to change the topic to one we both agreed on. If that did not work, I made a way to postpone talking about it so both parties can have time to digest and approach with a new attitude.

2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution? I think agreeing in part is a good step to start a discussion. Then the person feels their view is accepted. Then I can talk about areas where we see things differently.

@soulsings

I think this is a great approach, it's really important to have respect and understanding for each other in order to reach a resolution.

@Heather225

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

Yes, I've been on both sites. I've had people slow me down when I was getting angry and ready to blame or attack someone else. And I've done the same thing for others - getting them to take a step back and understand where things may be coming from.

2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

Acknowledging where the conflict is coming from and validating how both sides are feeling. And focus on solutions rather than just growling about something.

@Skyglider

Thanks for your post. I agree that focussing on solutions is important, I have a friend whose mum always says "solutions not problems!" in pretty much any situation. We used to find it annoying but I now find myself doing it! It's a good way to approach almost any situation.

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

Yes, I have been involved in conflicts in organisations I have been part of and have found that explaining how I feel and listening to how the other person feels is the best way to resolve conflict, rather than getting other people involved. I have also mediated conflict between other people, by trying to give them the space to listen to each other.

2.) Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

It's more of an extension of the tips to do with listening rather than a new tip. Listen without thinking about what you're going to say next. It's so easy to not truly listen to what another person is saying because we're focussed on what we want to say to them. This applies to pretty much every conversation, not just conflict resolution!

@Gozzil

That tip was amazing and something I certainly need to try and put into practise more! Actually listening to the person instead of thinking about what you are going to say next would shorten the length of so many arguments! 🙂

1. Have you ever been on either side of the conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

Yes, I have found myself resolving conflict on 7 Cups as well as at workplaces in the past. Communication is the key more often than not. If you sit down and just talk, there are a lot of misunderstandings that can come out and that can always iron out the situation.
2. Can you think of any tips we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

Keeping everyone involved informed of what's going on might be a great way to make sure no one feels heard.

@anotherfrenchtoastmafiaa

I totally agree keeping everyone informed is a great way to avoid misconceptions and therefore more arguements! 🙂

@Heather225

1.) Have you ever been on either side of conflict resolution situation? How did you resolve it?

I talked with them directly and listened to what they had to say without involving others.
2.)  Can you think of any tips  we haven't listed to facilitate healthy conflict-resolution?

Listen more than speak. Hear their perspective. When you do voice your opinions do so calmly.