Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #3) The Detriments of Gossip

@KindnessMatters2020
Most times people will just gossip and it will put someone's feelings down. Spinning the negative into a positive is a great way to think about it!

@wonderfulRainbow817

Thats a good way of looking at it. 

@KindnessMatters2020

I agree.

@KindnessMatters2020

Very well thought answer

Great jop

@KindnessMatters2020

This is so beautifully explained and I think its super important for everyone to understand this !

@KindnessMatters2020

yes commenting something positive will make the others know you don’t support gossiping. Very true

@Heather225

1. Why is gossiping bad?

Gossiping is bad and sadly everyone does it we are humans when it gets worse is when people add to what they are saying about someone or taking away from it- this is when talking about others gets to be really hurtful . The Truths are twisted and turned . so once the story goes around it is a whole different thing.. Just do not do it and be careful if you are talking about someone say something nice but even then people will twist things.. so it is best to be quiet.

2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!

Tell people that you do not want to hear it , stop it there and change the subject.

3. Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!

okay will do !!

Thanks Tye

@Tyedyedbutterfly65 you are an amazing human being who tries to help everyone and uplifts everyone by the sheer presence!! Hope to achieve that level of dedication one day

@Yourstruly2000 Awwwwwwwwwwww you are so sweet and kind and I think you are awesome yourself !!!!

Hugssssssssssssss Tye

@Tyedyedbutterfly65

Great answer

@Tyedyedbutterfly65

i absolutely agree with Tye on the hamful effects of gossiping and how gossiping is just an normal part of ones routine that we even fail to notice sometimes

@Tyedyedbutterfly65 Awesome reply! You are so right that gossiping can be very hurtful. Sadly it still does happen.

Listening - One Step At A Time!

@MistyMagic Yes it will happen of course and I do believe that it can come down to when is it gossip or when it is venting or wanting help ? In real life and even on here we need to vent and by going to the actual person sometimes it can work and sometimes it is gonna go horrible ... we need to be able to vent in a good way and productive way .. I am guilty myself we all are .. we are Humans thank you for your reply

@Tyedyedbutterfly65 I was actually thinking about something similar, what if someone isn't just talking for the sake of being sociable or elevating themselves, but rather they have hurt feelings they want to express. Then I sort of had an aha moment of "Oh, then the other discussion topic of triangulation would come into play."

I guess if there's a way to express feelings that doesn't triangulate (e.g. avoiding specific details, avoiding naming people, etc.) or cross the usual listener/member roles too much (give help vs. seek help), then yay.

@Tyedyedbutterfly65

Love your suggestion "tell people that you do not want to hear it"! Very direct, very clear! Thanks so much for sharing your insight with us <3

@KindnessMatters2020

@KindnessMatters2020 Thank you . sometimes this works sometimes it doesn't I am the type that I am gonna listen to anyone and everyone ... I am guilty myself we all are in real life and even on here.. even if people do not wanna admit it..

If we go to a leader they will ask WHO are you asking about ot talking about.... this is the same it is gossip and triangulation but sometimes it is neeeded to get a resolution we need mediators ..

@Tyedyedbutterfly65

"Trusts are twisted and turned'. I love that you've said this. It reminds me of the telephone game I used to play as a kid. You start with one statement and whisper what you heard to the next kid. By the time you reach the end of the line, the statement has usually become something far different that what was actually said.

@PeaceLoveandPaws Exactly !! but once again people are human and also I know even myself I can hear something and not actually be listening lol it is true I tune people out and then I am like what was it they said to me lol... so sometimes i do think people can repeat things and not really mean it in a bad way but just forget or not pay attention .. even when sharing something really nice and supportive.. But yes repeating or making things up is not good at all .

Kids of course are gonna mess things up or embellish ..

Accepting we are Human and no one is perfect is needed.

So we can stay quiet of course

@Tyedyedbutterfly65

I agree with your comment that truths can be twisted. Sometimes accidentally and sometimes purposefully. I think it

@bookworm274 Thank you but I have I am admitting that i did or triangulated we all have but what is gossip and what is someone venting and also asking for help when you are a leader here we do have questions that come in and even higher leaders will ask names .... I have grown here and realized that some are mean and some are not meaning to gossip they are hurting so what we can do yes is stop it there if we are leaders and help the best we can....

Now if you go and repeat what someone said to you to someone else totally different out of meaness...

I am not perfect trust me and I was guility myself of trusting someone and also getting used and played and at my age I know better... we sometimes take out our anger and vent things when we should not do this..

Lessons learned and do not feel pressured to fit in with people !!

I hope I am making sense lol ? Tye

@Tyedyedbutterfly65

honestly i wish i'll get to the point where i can stop the conversation from going to the wrong direction just that directly, working on it *-*

@Listeningsarinn You will !! but will you be 100% nope because I do not believe it is possible to be 100% free of talking about people because as leaders or a place you work then you do have too mention names.. Just knowing when and when not too and how to go about it..

Example would be - What do you think about X getting this postition do you think they would be good at it would you recommend them and why .... 0 then has to reply with yes or no and why ..... real life and here.. this can be good or bad because 0 may say well X is not a good worker or leader so then the person asking may say okay I beieve what you say and will decide... what if we are wrong or what if we are right ? ...

@Tyedyedbutterfly65

agreed, it is impossible to prevent it completely but i guess it will be okay when limited to when it's really needed and even then be extra cautios trying not to misjudge 💜

@Listeningsarinn Yes so very true , thank you ..

@Tyedyedbutterfly65

Beautifully said!

@ahealingEndoftherainbow22 THANK YOU

@Tyedyedbutterfly65

100% agree!!!

@Helpingsoul98 Thank you

@Tyedyedbutterfly65 I get what you mean. We should be quiet and change the topic.

@Tyedyedbutterfly65

I completely agree with your answers. I wish you the best in your journey ahead!

@shiningSound31 Thank you so much the same to you !

Tye

@Tyedyedbutterfly65

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@Tyedyedbutterfly65

Very good insights! I really like your point you made about gossiping being a part of human nature almost. Like we may not intentionally do it, but we do. You're such a great person with such a great mind!

@InvaderStitch Aw Stitch thank you wow and a great mind now this one i am gonna screen shot and save lol and go back too!!

You are now my all time favorite person on this site !! well maybe even the world !!

Hugsssssssssssss, Tye

Really good answer. It. Total. Reminds. Me of the film. Mean girls where they write un true gossip in book . @Tyedyedbutterfly65

@Tyedyedbutterfly65

So astute - you can see why I'm such a Tyedyed fan

@Tyedyedbutterfly65

I like your perspective. Great answer dear!

You are amazing 🤩