Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #3) The Detriments of Gossip
Please note: In order to successfully complete Course 2, you must respond to this post. Your comment/response should answer the questions/shows that you completed the given activity (if any). Read the post carefully and follow the instructions given. Save your responses to a document that you can later refer to. You will need to copy/paste your response in the course evaluation form at the end of each course to show that you have done the work and to refresh your memory.
-
Our next objective in this course is to master effective communication skills for healthy interpersonal and professional relationships.
Please watch this video
1. Why is gossiping bad?
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
3. Please reply to 3 of your peers  in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
After fulfilling the requirements of this post, please check out the next post here! You must take part in the brainstorming/activities given in all of these posts to successfully complete the program.
This post is brought to you by the Leadership Development Program Team, find out more information about the program here.
@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad?
Gossiping is bad because it can be hurtful towards others and make someone look bad
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
I don't know the other person's perspective, so I prefer to not discuss what I think they were thinking or feeling in their absence.
@CheeryMango
this is very important what you make at the 7 cups here. i'm proud of you
@CheeryMango
Hey Mango! You are on top of things here! Great job!
@CheeryMango I think you are one awesome dancing mango and a great person !!
@CheeryMango I have known you for a little while and lately i am not that active but i am surely amazed by your bonafide communication skills and how you are a community person, like you are there for everyone. Keep up the good work!! 🥰
@CheeryMango
This is so important on Cups and in real life
@azuladragon34
I just want to say everyone is amazing in there own ways wether someone realizes them or not
@CheeryMango I love the statement you picked out!
@CheeryMango
Mango-tastic!
@CheeryMango
100% agree, gosipping can make someone else look bad without their prescence,
@CheeryMango
This is the truth. Nice one
@CheeryMango
Nice job! Keep up the hard work! :)
Well said @CheeryMango
@CheeryMango
really like your answer, a perspective from both sides of the story is very important
@CheeryMango
Kudos to you for the reply, thanks for posting and sharing!
@CheeryMango
Agreed. It definitely makes us look bad. With a little consciousness we can all overcome this.
@CheeryMango yes, exactly!
@CheeryMango That's so right Mango, I totally agree.
@CheeryMango
I completely agree!
@CheeryMango Agreed. good job
@CheeryMango Very useful and well structured reply. Thank you!
@CheeryMango
I love your responses, Mango <3 Thank you for sharing!
@CheeryMango - you are amazing :)
@CheeryMango
Thank you for the knowledge!
@CheeryMango
Great Job Mango!!
@CheeryMango
Good job!
@CheeryMango
Totally agree !
@CheeryMango
I agree!
@CheeryMango agreed!
@CheeryMango
I totally agree
@CheeryMango
I agree not speaking of someone not in a conversation is best to say nothing. I would rather confront the person I may have a problem with and work out a solution.
I totally agree, we don’t know others perspective
@CheeryMango
Very insightful response to the second question :)
@CheeryMango Great job with the answers
@CheeryMango
I agree! It's bad because it can be untrue and harms people
@CheeryMango
That's true! we shouldn't comment on any situation without knowing both sides. I hope together we can build up a better society! :)
@CheeryMango
Congratulations mango you do a good job, I hope to share with you soon :) :) :)
@CheeryMango
Rightly said that Gossiping is bad because it can be hurtful towards others and you don't know the other person's perspective
@CheeryMango
I'm so proud of you for understanding why gossiping is so bad :)
Definitely, great work!
@CheeryMango
Great job Mango! :)
Hello there!
Great amazing point made!
Words can truly hurt more than some people realize and that particular person can carry it as a burden their whole life.
Sending energy and strenght!
Lots of love,
🌸Hana🌸
@CheeryMango
One of the best answers !!!
yay!!
Gossiping is bad because it can be hurtful to others and make someone look bad
I learned from this video that we don't know the other person's perspective, so we should prefer to not discuss what we think they were thinking or feeling in their absence.
@CheeryMango
So true !!
@CheeryMango
great points you picked out!
1.Gossiping destroys the image of a person and makes them look bad also ruin their lives
2.I don’t know the other persons perspective,so I prefer to not discuss what they are thinking or feel in their presence
Thanks for the effort
@CheeryMango
I agree that talking about someone, can be a bad thing, in particular if you spread a story about someone your heard, had a problem. Think how you would feel if it was you, they were talking about
@Heather225
the gossip because of that wrong, because there is malice behind it. about who they gossip it feels badly because of the injustice and a lot cannot protect himself in a case.
we do not talk about the other man without his presence because we do not know his side.
@Mankka
I like your perspective and I am really glad you are part of the 7 Cups LDP :)
@Mankka
Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come
@Mankka Love what you shared that the person is not there to defend their self !! great post !!
@Mankka
u r rt mankka, gossiping spread malice and is harmful to both, the person being gossiped about and the gossiper
@blissart
So true!
@blissart
Yes correct... the gossip has malice behind it about who they gossip cannot protect himself in a case.
@Mankka
I like that you said gossip is malicious.
@PeaceLoveandPaws
Agreed, I love the honesty in here
@Mankka
I quite agree with malice has no place in safe spaces. :)
@Mankka
agreed!
@Mankka
Good perspective
@Mankka
On top of it! 
@Mankka
Í totally agree with this. Good job!
@Mankka
True. It is so important to be non judgemental while trying to learn how to stop gossiping.
@Mankka that's true.
@Mankka
I completely agree!
@Mankka well said
@Mankka Very good and well organized thoughts!
@Mankka - you great and that's a good way to look at it :)
@Mankka
Agreed. It is indeed malice ❤️ Wonderfully said Mankka 😊
@Mankka
Through this, I have learned something. Thank you for sharing <3
@Mankka
Exactly!
@Mankka
I agree with you!
I totally agree and I love that perspective
@Mankka
You're right, gossiping just creates a toxic environment.
@Mankka
Agreed, gossiping is wrong, because about who they gossip it feels bad and injustice
@Mankka
Very true, well done
@Mankka
Absolutely i was looking for that word 'malice' it really speaks about the intent behind a gossip. Well done.
@Mankka
Can't agree more ! 🙌
@Mankka
Yes you’re absolutely right. gossip is malicious. Thanks for that.
@Mankka
I love this reply, taking one sided view,
@Heather225
Gossiping is bad because it is toxic and it can create an environment of distrust and disrespect not only for others, but for yourself as well if you are associated with spreading rumours and adding to the gossip.
To stop gossiping, I liked the suggestion in the video to say "I don't know enough about the situation to comment", but I also really support and appreciate the suggestion to say something positive about the person being gossiped about. I think injecting something positive brings a different vibe to the conversation and is a clear indication that you you don't condone gossiping.
@KindnessMatters2020
It always seems impossible until it is done
@KindnessMatters2020
be walking only on the road, a straight towards the stars. I thank you for being a supporter and a helper. I value your work highly.
@KindnessMatters2020
It always seems impossible until it is done
@KindnessMatters2020 Very True loss of trust !!! yes it sure can do that ! Great replies you shared !
@KindnessMatters2020 I totally agree with your insight regarding this, we are on the same page about it!! Hey
@KindnessMatters2020 I like that statement "I don't know enough about the situation to comment", Thanks for highlighting it!
Listening - One Step At A Time!
@KindnessMatters2020
Gossiping is bad because it is toxic and it can create an environment of distrust and disrespect.
I really like this sentence that you have written! Its so true, gossiping can create a really toxic environment. I agree with your commment on how to avoid gossiping by stating something postitive about the person. I feel that people sometimes rely on the negatives and dont focus on all of the postitive qualities that are there.
@bookworm274
Totally agree with those letters in bold.
@DonaldDraper
I know they're great! The original person wrote them, I was just commenting on them.
@bookworm274 I agree with you🤗
@Petrichor2000
Thanks 😊
@bookworm274
I agree Book
Yes 100%
@KindnessMatters2020
I agree! Thank you for this response.
@KindnessMatters2020 I agree with your statement that gossiping can create distrust and can create more negative relationships!
@KindnessMatters2020
absolutely!
@KindnessMatters2020 What a great takeaway from that video - the statement about "I don't know enough about the situation". That's definitely something to keep in your pocket just in case!
@KindnessMatters2020
Gossiping is VERY toxic. Good job!
@KindnessMatters2020
Very wonderful answer, Kindness! I wish you the best in your journey ahead!
@KindnessMatters2020
Love the name, and it's very fitting for this topic! I agree, saying something kind is a great alternative.
I liked the way you said. What gossip ing. Is @KindnessMatters2020
@KindnessMatters2020
yes, I would stand up for the person who was gossiped about too.
@KindnessMatters2020
Very insightful words, thanks for sharing your vision with us!
@KindnessMatters2020
Agree with you when you say injecting some positivity clearly hints that we're not advocating the gossip.
@KindnessMatters2020 these statements are so true.
@KindnessMatters2020
Perfect, a well thought and written.
@KindnessMatters2020
I really appreciated your complete and well thought out answer!
@KindnessMatters2020 lets spread kindness and positivity. well said
@KindnessMatters2020
That's nice :)
@KindnessMatters2020
totally agree!
@KindnessMatters2020
Well Said!
@KindnessMatters2020
Yes gossiping definitely causes mistrust
@KindnessMatters2020
@KindnessMatters2020
I agree! Adding positivity can help the situation!
@KindnessMatters2020
Most times people will just gossip and it will put someone's feelings down. Spinning the negative into a positive is a great way to think about it!
@wonderfulRainbow817
Thats a good way of looking at it.
@KindnessMatters2020
I agree.
@KindnessMatters2020
Very well thought answer
Great jop
@KindnessMatters2020
This is so beautifully explained and I think its super important for everyone to understand this !
@KindnessMatters2020
yes commenting something positive will make the others know you don’t support gossiping. Very true
@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad?
Gossiping is bad and sadly everyone does it we are humans when it gets worse is when people add to what they are saying about someone or taking away from it- this is when talking about others gets to be really hurtful . The Truths are twisted and turned . so once the story goes around it is a whole different thing.. Just do not do it and be careful if you are talking about someone say something nice but even then people will twist things.. so it is best to be quiet.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
Tell people that you do not want to hear it , stop it there and change the subject.
3. Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
okay will do !!
Thanks Tye
@Tyedyedbutterfly65 you are an amazing human being who tries to help everyone and uplifts everyone by the sheer presence!! Hope to achieve that level of dedication one day
@Yourstruly2000 Awwwwwwwwwwww you are so sweet and kind and I think you are awesome yourself !!!!
Hugssssssssssssss Tye
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
Great answer
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
i absolutely agree with Tye on the hamful effects of gossiping and how gossiping is just an normal part of ones routine that we even fail to notice sometimes
@Tyedyedbutterfly65 Awesome reply! You are so right that gossiping can be very hurtful. Sadly it still does happen.
Listening - One Step At A Time!
@MistyMagic Yes it will happen of course and I do believe that it can come down to when is it gossip or when it is venting or wanting help ? In real life and even on here we need to vent and by going to the actual person sometimes it can work and sometimes it is gonna go horrible ... we need to be able to vent in a good way and productive way .. I am guilty myself we all are .. we are Humans thank you for your reply
@Tyedyedbutterfly65 I was actually thinking about something similar, what if someone isn't just talking for the sake of being sociable or elevating themselves, but rather they have hurt feelings they want to express. Then I sort of had an aha moment of "Oh, then the other discussion topic of triangulation would come into play."
I guess if there's a way to express feelings that doesn't triangulate (e.g. avoiding specific details, avoiding naming people, etc.) or cross the usual listener/member roles too much (give help vs. seek help), then yay. 
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
Love your suggestion "tell people that you do not want to hear it"! Very direct, very clear! Thanks so much for sharing your insight with us <3
@KindnessMatters2020
@KindnessMatters2020 Thank you . sometimes this works sometimes it doesn't I am the type that I am gonna listen to anyone and everyone ... I am guilty myself we all are in real life and even on here.. even if people do not wanna admit it..
If we go to a leader they will ask WHO are you asking about ot talking about.... this is the same it is gossip and triangulation but sometimes it is neeeded to get a resolution we need mediators ..
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
"Trusts are twisted and turned'. I love that you've said this. It reminds me of the telephone game I used to play as a kid. You start with one statement and whisper what you heard to the next kid. By the time you reach the end of the line, the statement has usually become something far different that what was actually said.
@PeaceLoveandPaws Exactly !! but once again people are human and also I know even myself I can hear something and not actually be listening lol it is true I tune people out and then I am like what was it they said to me lol... so sometimes i do think people can repeat things and not really mean it in a bad way but just forget or not pay attention .. even when sharing something really nice and supportive.. But yes repeating or making things up is not good at all .
Kids of course are gonna mess things up or embellish ..
Accepting we are Human and no one is perfect is needed.
So we can stay quiet of course
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
I agree with your comment that truths can be twisted. Sometimes accidentally and sometimes purposefully. I think it
@bookworm274 Thank you but I have I am admitting that i did or triangulated we all have but what is gossip and what is someone venting and also asking for help when you are a leader here we do have questions that come in and even higher leaders will ask names .... I have grown here and realized that some are mean and some are not meaning to gossip they are hurting so what we can do yes is stop it there if we are leaders and help the best we can....
Now if you go and repeat what someone said to you to someone else totally different out of meaness...
I am not perfect trust me and I was guility myself of trusting someone and also getting used and played and at my age I know better... we sometimes take out our anger and vent things when we should not do this..
Lessons learned and do not feel pressured to fit in with people !!
I hope I am making sense lol ? Tye
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
honestly i wish i'll get to the point where i can stop the conversation from going to the wrong direction just that directly, working on it *-*
@Listeningsarinn You will !! but will you be 100% nope because I do not believe it is possible to be 100% free of talking about people because as leaders or a place you work then you do have too mention names.. Just knowing when and when not too and how to go about it..
Example would be - What do you think about X getting this postition do you think they would be good at it would you recommend them and why .... 0 then has to reply with yes or no and why ..... real life and here.. this can be good or bad because 0 may say well X is not a good worker or leader so then the person asking may say okay I beieve what you say and will decide... what if we are wrong or what if we are right ? ...
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
agreed, it is impossible to prevent it completely but i guess it will be okay when limited to when it's really needed and even then be extra cautios trying not to misjudge 💜
@Listeningsarinn Yes so very true , thank you ..
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
Beautifully said!
@ahealingEndoftherainbow22 THANK YOU
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
100% agree!!!
@Helpingsoul98 Thank you
@Tyedyedbutterfly65 I get what you mean. We should be quiet and change the topic.
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
I completely agree with your answers. I wish you the best in your journey ahead!
@Heather225
gossiping is bad because in majority of times we end up setting ourselves on a toxic cycle. Like for instance, if i am gossiping with someone else. They will automatically feel the need to gossip about me with someone else, initially this might feel not a big deal but it triggers a toxic and harmful system
the statement that i agree with in the video , is that i dont know the situation of the person that we are talking about or their perception , so i am in no place to comment on it
Thank you
@yourstruly2000
@Heather225
1) Gossiping is malice and it's negative. Gossiping can hurt others and cause rumours.
2) I don't know the other person's side, so I prefer not to discuss anything about what they're thinking or feeling in their absence.
1. Why is gossiping bad?
Gosssiping puts us and the other person in bad limelight. Its harmful for the reputation of both and we are at risk of losing trust of others around us
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
I dont know enough of the situation to comment on it
@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad?
Gossiping is usually saying negative things about others behind their back and so spreading rumours. It can be very bad because it changes the way people look, and it also changes the way people look at you. It can be hurtful and damaging and expand on the feeling of cliqueness that we are trying to be rid of.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
Stopping gossiping is like stopping sugar! I have a sweet tooth so I understand this statement and I can empathise with trying to do this. In my leadership roles I do have to sometimes discuss listeners so I do think there is a difference between gossiping about a person which is not useful, and respectfully discussing a candidate or applicant and their talents and strong points.
3. Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
Okay will do!
Listening - One Step At A Time!
@Heather225
▶︎ Why is gossiping bad?
Gossip is based around putting others down behind their backs for your own gain. This not only hurts the person being gossipped about, but those who spread gossip and the community as a whole. By gossipping, you may temporarily portray yourself in a more positive light, but this soon fades into distrust and negativity, as those you interact with will not know if you can be trusted or if you will in turn gossip about them behind their backs. This breakdown of trust detracts from the community as a whole, making it difficult to feel like you belong or are welcome.
▶︎ List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
I don't know the other person's perspective, so I prefer to not discuss what I think they were thinking or feeling in their absence.
@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad? Gossiping is bad because it diminishes the trust others have in you.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies! "I don't know enough about the situation to comment'
