Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #3) The Detriments of Gossip

@Mari228 I agree. It sometimes makes me sad that people are unaware of how gossip affects them and not just the person they're talking about. :(

@Heather225 I personally believe that gossiping is bad. I feel we are no one to judge another person for their actions. Nonjudgmental attitude is very important being a listener here at cups. Members have various problems to deal with and it would be wrong on our part to judge them for it. We must try and make the member feel comfortable in talking to us.

I usually take a stand for people being gossiped about.The part of the video where she says we can stand up for them is something I truly believe in, and I would continue to do it within cups or even outside cups. My parents always tell people I hate gossiping and I would always stick to that attitude

@yourbuddy30

You have a very good point here, we have no right to judge people in the real world, never mind the people we don't even know and communicate with online, we never know what people are actually dealing with.

The most dangerous part? They could be at serious and immediate risk of harm by themselves or others and if they don't tell us, we don't even know, and what we say can have dangerous consequences.

If someone tries to gossip about someone to me, my simple reply is "I don't want to hear it, you have no right to judge others, focus on improving your own life than getting involved in other people's lives"

Nowadays, nobody does gossip to me because my feelings are very well known to the few people I speak to.

Congratulations on passing by the way :)

@iCareUK Thank you so much care! I am happy we have the same point of view in this

@yourbuddy30 wow, I admire how you chose to stand for people who others gossip about <3 that's powerful, buddy! <3

@CosmicMiracle Awesome, I like this, too

@yourbuddy30

I agree that approaching with non- judgmental mindfulness is important

@Heather225

@Heather225

1. Why is gossiping bad?

Gossiping is a form of triangulation, it is dangerous, can become very inaccurate, and has the potential to cause harm, as well as a negative environment.

2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!

Gossiping is designed to make someone who isn't present look bad, and us look good.

@iCareUK

I really like your point of view on this.

Me too!

@iCareUK

very true! it is a form of triangulation

@iCareUK

I really like your wording!

@iCareUK

Thank you for sharing your insights on this post, very well said!

1 gossiping makes someone look bad and make people not trust you.

2 I don't know the other person's perspective, so I prefer to not discuss what I think they were thinking or feeling in their absence.

@Goalsforlife that is a wonderful choice of statement :)

@Goalsforlife

very true & great statement!

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I was never a fan of discussing other people and what they do with their lives unless said people are present, and this includes celebrities. If I want to learn from their life experiences, I can always read about them and I've always felt like it's unfair to talk about someone who isn't there. It's counterproductive to open communication.

The statement that I love about the video: "Gossiping is much easier to do than not do"

Because of our hunger to connect and communicate, or just foster bonds with people, gossiping is one of the most common conversation starters among small groups of people. In our goal to feel like we belong to that group, we forget that gossip is not a nice thing to do. It takes practice to police ourselves with how we communicate but if we stay true to what is right, then it can be done.

@CosmicMiracle

so true, it is easier to gossip than it is to not! great insight

@CosmicMiracle

Gossip hurts, its mean, cruel and can really affect an individual on their self worth and it also creates mob mentality.  All in all, gossip is for the people who deem themselves weak but want to be the loudest in the room, spreading fake truths.

@Heather225

1. Why is gossiping bad?

Gossiping is bad because it is toxic and harmful to others and makes you look negative too.

2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!

"I don't know enough about this situation to comment on it."

@zareya I love your answers

@zareya

Really good!

@Heather225

Gossiping may hurt someone's feelings

I don't know the other person's perspective, so I prefer to not discuss what I think they were thinking or feeling in their absence.

@claj333

Very well sated!

@Heather225

Hello everyone,

#1: Gossiping is negative because the other party is not involved & most of the time negative things are said without that person even knowing.

#2: One thing I use to stop gossiping is just to change the subject. Just change the subject to anything else.

@Josh3889

I'm really glad we have people like you to help stop gossiping, thank you!

@Josh3889

Changing the subject can be a good choice but once gossip starts, its. a hard task to find the root cause and stop it, but if you hear gossip, and you are not involved, best to change subject because we can only imagine if it was "us " being talked about.

@Heather225

1. Why is gossiping bad?
Its because gossip and rumors can destroy a person's self-confidence and affect their self-esteem, but also can lead to depression, suicidal thought and other host of other issues.

2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies
I understand how you feel and I don't feel comfortable talking about people when they are not in the room. It's best to tell that person and communicate about it and solve it, not me as it seems very wrong.

@iStarlight

I like how you pointed out that gossiping can  be harmful.

@iStarlight

"and affect their self-esteem, but also can lead to depression, suicidal thought and other host of other issues."

Gossip ^^ can do this to a person and so much more, it can invalue someone and make them feel like no one is on their side and it hurts.  It can cause someone to second guess themself and others and start to not trust friends or other members.

@Heather225

1. gossiping is bad because it tarnishes another’s personality and makes you untrustworthy

2. I learned from the video that gossiping is poisonous and it’s better to say you don’t know enough to comment on the situation to avoid gossiping

@Immakindlistener22

Very well said! I'm glad we have listeners like you here!

@FrenchMarbles

I'm so sorry that happened to you, you didn't deserve it. But I'm glad you're so passionate about ensuring a good working environment here at 7Cups, I really appreciate all the work your doing, thank you

@Heather225

1.    Why is gossiping bad?

I’ve always hated gossiping, we never know what someone’s going through and we never know how they’ll react. Gossiping can damage someone's self-esteem to a point where they are at risk of other mental problems, such as anxiety and depression

2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!

I don’t know enough of the situation to comment on it

@Soul576

These are great re[lies. We never know what someone is going through.

@Heather225

1. Why is gossiping bad?

Gossiping is bad because it is toxic - it does no one any good.

2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!

JUST STOP gossiping. Unless the other person is there, one does nor have the permission or authority to share.

@Heather225

1. Why is gossiping bad?

2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!

1. Gossiping is not only bad, but can create so much self doubt and hurt within a person because it is toxic, untrue and it targets an individual and makes that individual feel powerless.  It can create an environment of distrust, second guessing what others say, paranoid, feeling isolated and unheard.   It’s also extremely disrespectful not only for the person but for you as well if you are providing the gossip and or with spreading rumors and adding to it so that others can join, it creates a mob mentality that is very unhealthy for you and for the person targeted.

To stop gossiping, I liked the suggestion in the video to say "I don't know enough about the situation to comment", because it keeps you out of the gossip and rumors, keeps you not caught between two or more others and just ensures you are being respectful.