MistyMagic Listener Profile

MistyMagic

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A wound is where the light enters your soul!

Number of ratings171 Number of reviews81 Listens toTeens & Over 18 LanguagesEnglish Listener sinceNov 9, 2017 Last activein last week GenderFemale PathStep 1,487 People helped371 Chats3,396 Group support chats1,330 Listener group chats1,216 Forum posts8,242 Forum upvotes16,270

Bio

I am unable to take on new chats from members right now. Please understand and

"I am glad you have found me here at 7 Cups! I am happy to listen to you on many topics. I have experience in lots of different areas - anxiety, depression, and mental illness, families, and relationships, love, school, college, or work-related problems, financial stress, healthy living, food, and special diets, I can also offer support for chronic pain, illness, and disabilities. I am part of both the adult and the teen listening team, (and yes I can still remember being a teen lol) and I also offer long-term support to those that I can and who are in need.

If I am not online then you are welcome to leave me a message - but please tell me what you want to talk about so we can get off to a flying start. I will get back to you when I am next able, but please bear in mind that I get a lot of messages and I will reply to the most urgent first so if you just say hi, do you really just want a hi back?

If you are a teen turning 18 soon then you can apply for one of the Teen Transitioning Team to reach out and support you through the transition from the teen side to the 18+ adult side. The form is here ~~~> https://bit.ly/7CupsTTM

If you have any feedback or ideas for the Disability Support Community then please fill out this form ~~> https://forms.gle/EJN1SX74mo6swPwN6

At weekends my response will be slower as that is usually my time off from 7 Cups, and I may not respond to any PMs or new requests till Monday. I hope you understand that. We all need time for ourselves to recharge our batteries and relax.

ONE STEP AT A TIME
"We all have different-sized footsteps that we leave behind on our journey through life.
Sometimes we can change the size of our footsteps, the imprint, the impact, the direction.
Sometimes our footsteps land on rock and they do not show, or they land on sand and stay for a while,
Other times they get washed away by massive oceans or powerful waves.
But each and every footstep is important in so many ways.
Ways that we may not even know about.
Watch your step, think about your steps, plan your next step, and the rest will follow."
Listening ... one step at a time

Quote of Acceptance
When we don't accept an undesired event, it becomes Anger,
When we accept it, it becomes tolerance.

When we don't accept uncertainty, it becomes fear,
When we accept it, it becomes an adventure,
When we don't accept other's bad behavior toward us, it becomes hatred,
When we accept it, it becomes forgiveness.
When we don't accept other's success, it becomes jealousy
When we accept it, it becomes an inspiration.
Acceptance is the key to handling life well !!

Butterflies are a symbol of hope that we can all change from a small brown grub into a beautiful amazing butterfly! One step at a time!

"Those who never change their minds, never change anything!" (Winston S. Churchill)

"Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best!" (B. Disraeli)

Pearls are a great symbol of the grace we create, for the oyster creates its greatest work of art from an irritant.

Recent forum posts

What to Expect When You're Expecting!

Parenting & Pregnancy / by MistyMagic

3 days ago

...See more What to Expect When You're Expecting: Tips and Resources Whether you're pregnant, planning to be, or supporting someone who is, it’s an exciting (and sometimes overwhelming) journey. Here's a basic guide to what you can expect and helpful links to get you started. Share with us your journey and any tips or thoughts you have on pregnancy and parenting! ------------------------- General Tips for Expectant Parents 1. Schedule Prenatal Care * Once you have had a positive pregnancy test or think you may be pregnant then that is the time to make an appointment with your doctor, as soon as possible. They can be your first point of call for confidential and professional care and advice. * Regular doctor visits ensure that your baby is growing properly and allows you to discuss plans, options and concerns. * Tests to expect: * Ultrasounds (to monitor growth and anatomy) * Blood and urine tests * Glucose screening (to check for gestational diabetes) 2. Take Care of Your Health * Nutrition: Focus on a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, whole grains, and prenatal vitamins (especially folic acid and iron). * Avoid: Alcohol, smoking, excessive caffeine, and unpasteurized foods. * Exercise: Light to moderate exercises like walking, swimming, or prenatal yoga can help with stamina, mood, and delivery preparation. * Hydration: Drink plenty of water daily to stay hydrated. 3. Learn About Labour and Delivery * Research options like vaginal birth, caesarean section, or water birth. * Take prenatal classes to prepare for labour, delivery, and postpartum care. 4. Prepare Emotionally * Hormonal changes can lead to mood swings; don't hesitate to seek help if you feel persistently anxious or depressed (possible signs of prenatal depression). * Involve your partner or support system in the journey—attend appointments and classes together. 5. Plan for Postpartum Life * Research breastfeeding basics and consider lactation consultant resources if needed. * Stock up on essentials: diapers, baby clothes, and postpartum care supplies for you. 6. Stay Informed * Learn about pregnancy stages: trimesters, fetal development, and common symptoms like nausea or swelling. * Keep an open line of communication with your doctor for any concerns. ------------------------- Helpful Resources and Links * General Pregnancy Guidance * What to Expect (Official Site) [https://www.whattoexpect.com/] * March of Dimes - Pregnancy [https://r.search.yahoo.com/_ylt=AwrkLlPEDWdnBwIAAokM34lQ;_ylu=Y29sbwNpcjIEcG9zAzEEdnRpZAMEc2VjA3Ny/RV=2/RE=1736016580/RO=10/RU=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.marchofdimes.org%2Ffind-support%2Ftopics%2Fpregnancy/RK=2/RS=XcMs1vVhA7DkRk5niTTk1yLMlLQ-] * Nutrition During Pregnancy * Mayo Clinic - Nutrition and Weight Gain During Pregnancy [https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle] * Prenatal Classes * Lamaze International [https://www.lamaze.org/] * BabyCenter - Prenatal Classes Overview [https://www.babycenter.com/] * Labor and Delivery Preparation * The Bump - Birth Plan Template [https://r.search.yahoo.com/_ylt=AwrkOYxnDWdnHAIAl0IM34lQ;_ylu=Y29sbwNpcjIEcG9zAzEEdnRpZAMEc2VjA3Ny/RV=2/RE=1736016488/RO=10/RU=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.thebump.com%2Fa%2Ftool-birth-plan/RK=2/RS=kv8SKtjL7n6puIQ2vsiSuweVbp4-] * Childbirth Connection - Labor Comfort Measures [https://r.search.yahoo.com/_ylt=Awr.oGmUDWdnIwIA.1kM34lQ;_ylu=Y29sbwNpcjIEcG9zAzMEdnRpZAMEc2VjA3Ny/RV=2/RE=1736016532/RO=10/RU=https%3A%2F%2Fnationalpartnership.org%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2023%2F02%2Fcomfort-in-labor-simkin.pdf/RK=2/RS=6y1YrO1Esb41Rf7nAXYYgZYraDc-] * Postpartum Support * Postpartum Support International [https://www.postpartum.net/] * KellyMom - Breastfeeding Resource [https://kellymom.com/] * Apps to Track Pregnancy (easy to google lots of different apps)) * Ovia Pregnancy Tracker [https://r.search.yahoo.com/_ylt=AwrLAC27D2dn6wEAp78M34lQ;_ylu=Y29sbwNpcjIEcG9zAzEEdnRpZAMEc2VjA3Ny/RV=2/RE=1736017083/RO=10/RU=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.oviahealth.com%2Fpregnancy-app%2F/RK=2/RS=Aq7Aq.9x_6NXd38lIw52BrAnmK8-] * The Bump * BabyCenter [https://r.search.yahoo.com/_ylt=AwrkMR7ZD2dnDAIAlJQM34lQ;_ylu=Y29sbwNpcjIEcG9zAzEEdnRpZAMEc2VjA3Ny/RV=2/RE=1736017114/RO=10/RU=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.babycentre.co.uk%2F/RK=2/RS=Xb.kKMywOuMUgSCwVN.fkHFxpmc-]

Festive Greetings!

Disability Support / by MistyMagic

10 hours ago

IDPWD - International Day of People With Disabilites!

Disability Support / by MistyMagic

December 4th

...See more To raise awareness of the International Day Of People With Disabilities I thought it might be interesting to start a discussion on what the definition of 'disability' is thought of across the world. Each country seems to have their own definition. So, what do you think? What does your country think? Do you agree or disagree? How does it make you feel? Happy? Annoyed? Upset? Hopeful? Share with us! The definition of "disability" varies across countries and cultures, reflecting diverse legal, social, and cultural frameworks. Below are some perspectives on how disability is understood and defined in different contexts: ------------------------- 1. International Definition * United Nations (UN) Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (CRPD): [https://r.search.yahoo.com/_ylt=AwrkgDqb5E5n7wEAuOIM34lQ;_ylu=Y29sbwNpcjIEcG9zAzIEdnRpZAMEc2VjA3Nj/RV=2/RE=1734433180/RO=10/RU=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.equalityhumanrights.com%2Four-work%2Four-human-rights-work%2Fmonitoring-and-promoting-un-treaties%2Fun-convention-rights-persons/RK=2/RS=.awcOXU6HyeO3OjGE1yqjfkURnQ-] The CRPD defines disability as including "long-term physical, mental, intellectual, or sensory impairments which, in interaction with various barriers, may hinder full and effective participation in society on an equal basis with others." This definition emphasizes a social model of disability, focusing on the interaction between impairments and societal barriers. ------------------------- 2. Western Countries * United States: Under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), a disability is defined as "a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities." This definition blends the medical model (focus on individual impairments) and the social model (consideration of barriers). * European Union (EU): In the EU, disability is often viewed through the social model, but definitions vary by country. For example: * In the UK, the Equality Act 2010 defines disability as "a physical or mental impairment that has a substantial and long-term negative effect on a person's ability to do normal daily activities." * In Germany, definitions often align with the social insurance model, emphasizing medical diagnoses in relation to work capability. ------------------------- 3. Non-Western Countries * China: Disability is defined primarily through the medical model and is regulated by the Law on the Protection of Disabled Persons. It includes physical, intellectual, and sensory impairments but often focuses on the functionality of individuals in specific roles. * India: The Rights of Persons with Disabilities Act, 2016 defines disability broadly, listing 21 conditions, including mental illness and specific learning disabilities. It adopts a mix of the social and medical models, aiming for inclusivity. ------------------------- 4. Indigenous and Traditional Cultures * In some indigenous cultures, disability may not be viewed as an impairment but as a unique difference or even a spiritual condition. * Native American tribes sometimes regard disability as a natural variation within the community, not stigmatized. * In African contexts, cultural views on disability vary widely. Some communities see it as a consequence of spiritual or ancestral factors, while others interpret it as a natural part of human diversity. ------------------------- 5. Sociocultural Dimensions * Japan: Disability is defined through both medical and societal frameworks. Social perceptions are influenced by traditional beliefs such as "gaman" (perseverance), leading to a focus on overcoming barriers rather than accommodations. * Middle Eastern Countries: Islamic traditions often emphasize community responsibility and care for individuals with disabilities. Definitions of disability are shaped by religious principles and the medical model. ------------------------- Summary While there is increasing global alignment towards the social model of disability (as promoted by the CRPD), interpretations remain influenced by local legal systems, cultural norms, and historical contexts. These differences underscore the importance of understanding disability within specific cultural and regional frameworks to ensure effective policies and inclusive practices. https://idpwd.org/ [https://idpwd.org/] Written as part of the Disability Support Community Articles. More infoposts can be found [https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/postural-tachycardia-syndrome-pots/symptoms-causes/syc-20451722] If you have a condition or 'Awareness Campaign' that you feel we should recognise please message [https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/postural-tachycardia-syndrome-pots/symptoms-causes/syc-20451722]@MistyMagic [https://www.7cups.com/@MistyMagic] (teens and adults) or @AffyAvo [https://www.7cups.com/@AffyAvo](adults)

Caring gifts to those that care for us! Cupsgiving!

Disability Support / by MistyMagic

December 3rd

...See more Caring gifts to those that care for us This post is part of Cupsgiving Week. Choosing a gift for your carer can be a thoughtful and meaningful gesture to show appreciation for their care and support. Here are some tips to help you select the perfect gift: 1. Consider Their Preferences * Pay Attention to Hobbies: Think about what they enjoy doing in their free time (e.g., gardening, cooking, reading, sports). * Ask Subtly: If you're unsure, you can ask casual questions about their likes and dislikes without revealing your intention. Ask those near to them for ideas. 2. Choose Something Meaningful * Personalized Gifts: Items like engraved keychains, custom mugs, or photo frames can add a personal touch. Remember they may need to be ordered in advance! * Handmade Gifts: If you enjoy crafting or making art, a handmade gift like a card, painting, or knitted item can be incredibly special. Again these take time so it’s important to plan your gift. But these I can vouch for. 3. Practical Items * Useful Gifts: A high-quality notebook, a nice pen, or something they can use daily in their work or leisure. * Relaxation Gifts: Think about self-care items like candles, bath products, or a gift card for a massage or spa day. * Disposable Gifts: Not as in throw-away but something that they can use and enjoy and appreciate and that won’t take up valuable space in the home. Cookies or sweets, chocolate luxury items. 4. Sentimental Options * Thank-You Letters: A heartfelt note expressing your gratitude can mean more than a material gift. * Memory Keepsakes: A small scrapbook or photo album highlighting meaningful moments you've shared. A framed photo too. 5. Experience-Based Gifts * Treat Them to an Experience: A voucher for their favorite restaurant, a cinema gift card, or a ticket to an event they’d enjoy. * Time Together: If possible, plan a simple outing like a coffee date or a park visit. Or organize a tea party in your room or even just a cup of coffee for 5 minutes rest together. 6. Budget-Friendly Ideas * Small Tokens: Flowers, a box of chocolates, or a thoughtful book can be perfect. * DIY Options: Create something with the resources you have—baked goods, a playlist of their favorite music, or a simple drawing or poem that you have taken the time to write for them. Perhaps make it funny or rhyming. 7. Accessibility and Delivery * Online Shopping: If mobility or time is a concern, many retailers offer gift wrapping and delivery services. * Help from Others: Ask a friend or family member for assistance if you need help purchasing or delivering the gift. 8. Show Appreciation in Words * Sometimes the best gift is simply taking the time to tell them "thank you" in a heartfelt way. Pair it with a small token to make it more memorable. Maybe even sing to them! By focusing on their preferences, adding a personal touch, and staying within your means, you can give a gift that will truly show how much you value their care. Now some questions for you! Let's pretend we are giving a gift to another person in the World of Cups or in particular the Disability Support Community:- * How do you choose a gift? * Who would you give a gift to? * What would you give them?

What is Epilepsy?

Disability Support / by MistyMagic

November 13th

...See more Epilepsy Awareness Month, observed in November, brings attention to epilepsy—a neurological disorder that causes recurrent seizures due to abnormal electrical activity in the brain. This condition affects millions of people worldwide and has various causes, symptoms, and treatments. What is Epilepsy? Epilepsy is a chronic disorder characterized by unprovoked, recurrent seizures. These seizures happen when clusters of nerve cells in the brain send out abnormal signals, causing a wide range of physical effects, from momentary lapses in awareness to convulsions. Causes of Epilepsy Epilepsy can result from various factors, although in many cases, the exact cause is unknown. Potential causes include: * Genetic Influence: Some types of epilepsy run in families and may have a genetic component. * Head Trauma: Injuries from accidents or falls can lead to epilepsy. * Brain Conditions: Brain tumors, strokes, and other brain damage can increase seizure risks. * Infectious Diseases: Conditions like meningitis, AIDS, and viral encephalitis can trigger epilepsy. * Prenatal Injury: Injuries to the brain before birth, often due to infection or oxygen deprivation, can lead to epilepsy in children. * Developmental Disorders: Conditions like autism or neurofibromatosis have been linked to epilepsy. Symptoms of Epilepsy Symptoms of epilepsy vary widely based on the type of seizure and which part of the brain is affected. Common symptoms include: * Temporary confusion or "blanking out" * A staring spell * Uncontrolled jerking movements in the arms and legs * Loss of consciousness or awareness * Psychic symptoms (fear, anxiety, or deja vu) Seizures are generally classified into two main types: * Focal (Partial) Seizures: These seizures originate in a specific part of the brain and may cause mild to severe symptoms. * Generalized Seizures: These involve all areas of the brain and include types like tonic-clonic (grand mal), absence, myoclonic, and atonic seizures. Treatments for Epilepsy Managing epilepsy typically involves a combination of medication, lifestyle adjustments, and, in some cases, surgery. Treatment approaches include: * Anti-Seizure Medications: Medications like valproic acid, lamotrigine, and levetiracetam are commonly prescribed to control seizures. * Ketogenic Diet: This high-fat, low-carbohydrate diet is sometimes used, particularly in children, to help reduce seizures. * Vagus Nerve Stimulation (VNS): A device implanted under the skin stimulates the vagus nerve, which can help reduce seizure frequency. * Responsive Neurostimulation: A device implanted in the brain detects abnormal electrical activity and delivers electrical impulses to prevent seizures. * Surgery: In severe cases, surgery may be recommended to remove the part of the brain causing seizures. Living with Epilepsy People with epilepsy often lead full lives but may require certain precautions, like avoiding triggers, wearing medical identification, and managing medication routines. Support from family, friends, and epilepsy-focused organizations can also help manage the emotional and psychological challenges of the condition. For more information, consider these resources: * Epilepsy Foundation [https://www.epilepsy.com/]: Provides comprehensive information on epilepsy, including types, treatment options, and support. * National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS) [https://www.ninds.nih.gov/health-information/disorders/epilepsy]: Offers information on research, treatment, and clinical trials. * Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) on Epilepsy [https://www.cdc.gov/epilepsy/]: Contains data on epilepsy prevalence, resources, and public health initiatives. Written as part of the Disability Support Community Articles. More can be found here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/disabilities/ArticlesResourcesConditionSpecificInformation_458/ArticlesResourcesAlphabeticList_233701/] If you have a condition or 'Awareness Campaign' that you feel we should recognise please message either myself @MistyMagic [https://www.7cups.com/@MistyMagic] (teens and adults) or @AffyAvo [https://www.7cups.com/@AffyAvo](adults)

CRPS - What is Complex Regional Pain Syndrome

Disability Support / by MistyMagic

November 7th

...See more Today is World CRPS Day!What is Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS)? Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) is a chronic pain condition usually affecting one limb, often after an injury. It is thought to be caused by damage to, or malfunction of, the peripheral and central nervous systems. The pain associated with CRPS is disproportionate to the initial injury and can result in long-term disability. CRPS is classified into two types: * CRPS Type I (formerly Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy - RSD): Occurs without confirmed nerve damage. * CRPS Type II (formerly Causalgia): Occurs with confirmed nerve damage. Symptoms of CRPS CRPS symptoms can vary in intensity and duration, but commonly include: * Severe, constant, burning pain: Often out of proportion to the injury. * Swelling and changes in skin color: Skin may appear blotchy, purple, or pale. * Temperature changes in the skin: The affected area may feel unusually warm or cold. * Sensitivity to touch: Light touch or even wind can cause significant pain (allodynia). * Changes in skin texture: Skin may become thin or shiny. * Changes in hair and nail growth: Increased or decreased growth in the affected limb. * Stiffness and decreased mobility: Especially in the affected joints. * Muscle weakness or atrophy: Due to disuse or decreased movement. * Tremors, spasms, or dystonia: Uncontrollable muscle movements can occur. Symptoms often spread from the site of the initial injury to other areas and can worsen over time if not treated. Commonly Asked Questions about CRPS1. What causes CRPS? CRPS often follows an injury (like a fracture, surgery, or even a minor trauma), but the exact cause isn’t fully understood. It may result from an abnormal immune response, nerve damage, or improper healing of an injury, leading to abnormal pain signaling. 2. How is CRPS diagnosed? CRPS is typically diagnosed based on a combination of a detailed medical history and physical examination. There's no definitive test, but tools like X-rays, MRI scans, or bone scans may be used to rule out other conditions and observe characteristic changes like bone loss or abnormal inflammation. 3. Can CRPS spread to other parts of the body? Yes, in some cases, CRPS can spread from the originally affected limb to other parts of the body. The spread can be gradual, and it may involve the opposite limb or nearby regions. 4. Is CRPS curable? There is no cure for CRPS, but early treatment can help manage symptoms. Treatments include physical therapy, medications (like pain relievers, nerve blocks, or corticosteroids), and psychological support to help cope with the chronic pain. 5. What are the treatment options for CRPS? Treatment typically involves a multidisciplinary approach including: * Pain management: Medications such as NSAIDs, anticonvulsants (e.g., gabapentin), and opioids for severe cases. * Physical therapy: To maintain movement and reduce stiffness. * Nerve blocks or spinal cord stimulation: For severe cases, nerve blocks or electrical stimulation may be used to reduce pain. * Psychological support: Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to help manage the emotional and mental toll of living with chronic pain. * Alternative therapies: Acupuncture, mirror therapy, or graded motor imagery have been used in some cases. * Coping strategies https://rsds.org/living-with-crps/coping-strategies/ [https://rsds.org/living-with-crps/coping-strategies/] 6. What is the prognosis for someone with CRPS? The outlook for people with CRPS varies. Early diagnosis and intervention are key to preventing the condition from becoming more severe. Some individuals recover fully, while others may continue to experience symptoms for years, potentially leading to long-term disability. 7. Are there any complications associated with CRPS? CRPS can lead to several complications including: * Chronic pain and disability: Severe pain can lead to loss of function and disability in the affected limb. * Depression and anxiety: Coping with chronic pain may lead to mental health issues. * Muscle atrophy: From reduced movement and use of the affected limb. 8. Is there a genetic component to CRPS? While CRPS is generally not considered hereditary, some research suggests that genetic factors may play a role in how people process pain, making certain individuals more susceptible to CRPS. 9. Can children or adolescents develop CRPS? Yes, although it is more common in adults, CRPS can also occur in children and adolescents. In young people, the condition tends to resolve more quickly with treatment compared to adults. 10. What research is being done on CRPS? Ongoing research aims to better understand the underlying mechanisms of CRPS, improve diagnostic tools, and develop more effective treatments, including targeted therapies to modulate pain pathways. References * National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS). Complex Regional Pain Syndrome Fact Sheet [https://www.ninds.nih.gov/Disorders/All-Disorders/Complex-Regional-Pain-Syndrome-Information-Page] * Mayo Clinic. Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) [https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/crps-complex-regional-pain-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20371151] * American RSDHope Organization. CRPS Information and FAQs [https://rsdhope.org/]

Parenting Teenagers.

Parenting & Pregnancy / by MistyMagic

November 4th

...See more Coping with teenagers can be challenging, but with the right approaches, it’s possible to maintain a strong relationship, support their growth, and handle conflict in constructive ways. Here are some tips and ideas to help you navigate this journey effectively. 1. Focus on Communication, Not Control * Listen Actively: Teenagers are often navigating intense emotions and experiences. Rather than jumping in with solutions or judgments, listen attentively to understand what’s really bothering them. This shows that you respect their feelings and can help de-escalate tension. * Use Open-Ended Questions: Avoid questions that can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no." Try something like, “How did you feel about what happened at school today?” This can encourage them to open up. * Empathy Over Solutions: When teenagers vent or share frustrations, sometimes they just want to feel heard. Try empathizing by saying something like, “I can see how that would make you feel upset,” rather than immediately offering solutions. 2. Establish Boundaries with Flexibility * Set Clear Expectations: Teens may push boundaries, but they also need them. Explain rules clearly and ensure they understand the consequences if they’re broken. Be consistent with enforcing these rules, which helps build a sense of security. * Allow for Negotiation on Some Rules: If you’re open to compromising on smaller issues, it can help teens feel they have some control over their lives, which is essential for their development. For example, if they’re unhappy with a curfew, allow them to discuss it respectfully and maybe compromise. * Involve Them in Rule-Making: When appropriate, let them help create some of the rules or consequences. This can encourage them to take responsibility for their actions and understand why the rules are in place. 3. Be Their Role Model * Demonstrate Healthy Behavior: Teens absorb more from what they see than what they’re told. Model respect, patience, and healthy communication in your own behavior. * Own Up to Mistakes: If you react too harshly in a moment of frustration, apologize. This not only shows maturity but also teaches them the value of accountability. * Self-Care is Key: Coping with teens can be draining. Taking care of your mental and physical health sets a good example for them while helping you stay balanced. 4. Encourage Independence and Responsibility * Assign Age-Appropriate Responsibilities: Give them tasks that they can handle, whether it’s managing their own schedules or contributing to household chores. This teaches them about responsibility and helps build self-confidence. * Encourage Decision-Making Skills: When they’re faced with choices, help them evaluate pros and cons rather than making decisions for them. This approach fosters critical thinking and accountability. * Celebrate Small Wins: When your teen demonstrates responsibility or follows through on something challenging, celebrate it! Positive reinforcement is often more effective than punishment. 5. Stay Calm During Conflict * Take a Pause if Needed: When arguments get heated, take a break before responding. You can say, “I need a moment to collect my thoughts. Let’s talk about this in a few minutes.” This helps prevent saying things in anger. * Use “I” Statements: Instead of saying, “You’re so irresponsible,” try “I feel worried when you don’t communicate with me about where you are.” This keeps the focus on your feelings rather than placing blame. * De-Escalate by Lowering Your Voice: Speaking softly, even in tense situations, can have a calming effect on both of you and prevent the conflict from escalating. 6. Understand Their Need for Identity and Peer Connection * Give Them Space to Explore Identity: Adolescence is when teens start defining who they are outside of their family identity. Encourage safe exploration, even if it involves hobbies, fashion choices, or music that you might not understand. * Respect Their Peer Relationships: Teens often value peer opinions more than family. This can be challenging for parents, but it’s essential to respect these relationships as long as they’re healthy. Offer a safe space to talk about their friends without judgment. * Encourage Healthy Risk-Taking: Teens need experiences to learn and grow, so it’s okay to support safe, challenging activities like joining a sports team, pursuing an art project, or taking up a challenging hobby. 7. Offer Consistent Unconditional Support * Check-In Regularly: Even if they seem uninterested, short check-ins like “How was your day?” or “Anything interesting happen today?” let them know you’re there for them, even if they don’t feel like talking. * Remind Them of Their Strengths: Teens can be self-critical, so take moments to acknowledge their efforts and successes, big or small. This reinforces their sense of self-worth and boosts their resilience. * Be Patient: Building a trusting relationship with a teenager takes time. They may pull away and push back, but with patience, you can stay connected and supportive. 8. Seek Support When Needed * Don’t Hesitate to Seek Counseling: If conflicts are intense or if your teen is showing signs of mental health challenges, consider reaching out to a family counselor or therapist. Professional support can provide both you and your teen with strategies to cope better. * Find a Support Network: Sometimes, sharing experiences with other parents of teens can provide fresh perspectives and remind you that you’re not alone. Look for local support groups or online forums where you can talk through parenting challenges and gain advice. Final Thoughts Remember that every teenager is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Staying flexible, open-minded, and focusing on maintaining a supportive, respectful relationship will go a long way. Remember that parenting is a skill and we can all learn tips and share our feelings hereto help us navigate the pitfalls of parenting. Now, over to you! 🏃‍♂️ Share some of the things that have worked for you as a parent. 🏆Teenagers will someday be the adults in this world, what might that look like in their future? 💚How do you feel as a parent? How are you doing?

Waiting For Surgery? Tips and information

Disability Support / by MistyMagic

November 7th

...See more Waiting for surgery can be a stressful and anxiety-inducing time, especially when faced with uncertainty about outcomes, potential complications, and recovery. Please bear in mind that this is written from my experience, always check information with your health team. I know that I found it extremely stressful, and then my surgery was cancelled at the very last moment. So whilst I was waiting for the next date I tried to figure out how I could ‘wait’ better. It is proved that some coping strategies during this period can improve mental and emotional well-being, which may even have a positive effect on physical health and post-surgical outcomes. Here are some of my tips and also some other evidence-based tips and strategies that I found whilst managing the stress of the wait for surgery. 1. Acknowledge and Manage Anxiety * Recognize and Validate Feelings: Anxiety about surgery is natural. Acknowledging this emotion rather than suppressing it can help reduce its intensity. - Remember why you are having the surgery. - Concentrate on positive outcomes. It helped me to think that in one week I would be post-surgery, then in three days it would be post-surgery, then one day, one hour etc. * Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practicing mindfulness, deep breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation can help lower stress. Research shows that these techniques can reduce pre-surgical anxiety and potentially improve post-surgical recovery outcomes (Ashton et al., 2017). 2. Education and Information * Gather Accurate Information: Knowing what to expect can reduce uncertainty, which is a common trigger for anxiety. Understanding the procedure, potential risks, benefits, and recovery timeline can help set realistic expectations. * Consult with Medical Professionals: Patients should feel comfortable discussing concerns with their healthcare team. One study found that better communication with doctors can significantly decrease pre-surgery anxiety (Auerbach et al., 2020) . * Ask Questions - make a list of questions and information that you need then ask the nurses and health care staff- what do you need to take with you, what can’t you bring. * If you can take a phone or tablet then try to download apps that you will find useful, relaxation apps, films, games, or audio books are very useful. Remember to take in headphones and charger too! 3. Find a Support Network * Engage Family and Friends: Explain to them what your surgery is and when and about your after-care. Having a support network can provide emotional comfort, whether it's through talking, companionship, or help with daily activities during the waiting period. Strong social support has been linked to improved surgical outcomes and emotional resilience (Schmid et al., 2019) . * Joining a Support Group with others facing similar procedures can be helpful. Sharing experiences and coping strategies may provide reassurance and reduce feelings of isolation. Ask your doctor’s practice and see if there are any local or online groups, if not then maybe consider starting one. 4. Engage in Healthy Lifestyle Choices * Maintain Physical Activity: Gentle exercise, like walking or stretching, can improve mood, boost physical health, and prepare the body for surgery (Louw et al., 2017) . Have a dental check-up. Good oral hygiene can help, check there are no loose teeth or crowns, try and have your teeth cleaned so you are sparkling before the anesthetic. * Eat a Balanced Diet. Try and choose healthy foods, especially those with vitamins C, D, and protein, support immune function and tissue repair, which can be beneficial pre- and post-surgery. Think about the food you will need after your surgery when you are back home. Would it help to batch-cook and freeze meals so that you do not need to cook so much? Or buy canned goods, and freeze bread and milk so that shopping trips aren’t so frequent. * Sleep Hygiene: Prioritize good sleep, which can enhance mental resilience and immune function, aiding in recovery. Limit screen time before bed, find relaxation apps. 5. Use Positive Visualization and Goal Setting * Visualize a Positive Outcome: Studies suggest that visualizing a successful surgery and recovery can be a powerful tool for reducing stress. It helps patients feel in control, enhancing their overall resilience (Trent & Wilson, 2018) . * Set Small Goals: Focusing on achievable goals can provide a sense of accomplishment and keep the mind occupied. This can include tasks like preparing your hospital bag, planning enjoyable activities, or organizing medical paperwork. 6. Practice Patience and Acceptance * Acceptance-Based Coping: Accepting the situation rather than fixating on changing what cannot be controlled has been shown to reduce stress. Acceptance-based approaches, such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), may be beneficial for patients awaiting surgery, as they encourage people to engage with life fully, even in the face of uncertainty (Hayes et al., 2016) . Take 7 Cups course on ACT https://www.7cups.com/act-therapy-techniques/ [https://www.7cups.com/act-therapy-techniques/] 7. Explore Distraction and Fun * Engage in Hobbies: Filling the waiting period with activities you enjoy can reduce pre-surgery stress. Watching movies, reading, gardening, or any other enjoyable activities can redirect focus from worry. * Limit Overexposure to Health Information: While researching can help with preparation, overloading oneself with information can sometimes increase anxiety. Limiting time spent on health websites or forums can prevent information overload. 8. Prepare Logistically and Mentally for the Recovery Period * Organize Recovery Essentials: Preparing a comfortable recovery space at home, arranging for help, and having necessary supplies can offer peace of mind. (see above also) * Prepare Mentally for Setbacks: Knowing that setbacks are possible during recovery can help adjust expectations. Studies show that setting realistic expectations for recovery contributes to a better outlook and mental well-being (Anderson et al., 2015) . Summary Coping with the wait for surgery involves emotional management, practical planning, and support-seeking. Evidence suggests that those who actively use these strategies not only feel better emotionally but may experience better physical outcomes. Implementing these coping skills can transform a potentially distressing waiting period into one that is manageable and constructive. Good luck to all waiting or recovering! Now let's hear from all of you!1) What are your best tips for waiting for surgery, please share with us.2) Have you had surgery or are you awaiting surgery? Tell us more!3) For the fun side, tell us about your best fun distractions, what do you like to do? What helps distract you when you are facing something?

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She is FABULOUS!!!!!!!!!

Amazing listener, very patient and accepting. So kind and supportive, really what I needed. Never too busy to help :) Thank you so, so much :)

Thank you for everything you do on 7 cups! You are an amazing leader and listener! Never too busy to help and support anyone that needs help. Stay amazing and let your Magic continue here on cups

One of the best Listeners ever would highly recommend and wish all were like Misty !! she is really is so magical !! Thank you for always being such a blessing !

Amazingly kind and really understanding.

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Off to a good start. I really appreciate the time and care MistyMagic gave!

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MistyMagic was very helpful and resourceful. I have been going through a tough time and MistyMagic took time to listen without judging. I felt they were very sincere and kind

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It's hard to find words to express my gratitude. I needed someone to listen, to understand, to tell me it was okay to feel how I felt. Misty gave me that, and more. We shared a few good laughs and I feel like I can sleep peacefully tonight. Thank you. Just...thank you.

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Very helpful, I enjoyed our chat and will try 7 Cups again now I know more about it, thanks I feel better and more hopeful now!

Misty has been working with me for nearly a year now an i can never thank her enough for everything she has helped me through. It felt like i was a nobody an had nothing when i first came here but slowly over time i can see thats not true. She helped me see the good parts about myself and encouraged me to be the best i can be because thats always enough. I cant imagine not having a misty xxx

Misty helped me feel so much better, that life has more to offer. I will keep talking to them

Misty has been an amazing listener supporting me over many months through a difficult time in my life. She's amazing- warm, kind and considerate, funny, helpful. Can't thank you enough xxx

Misty was great. Didn't judge and listened carefully. Also didn't give me false hope.

She was great.

As this was my first experience with this site MistyMagic put me at ease from the start and was very understanding and sympathetic to my issues. Problems are better shared and because of today i have now a plan in place to address these. Felt like i was talking to a long time friend. Thank you for your help and patience

Great! She understands what one is going through

Really listens with an empathic ear. She made it easy to talk about embarrassing things. Thank you a million!

Very nice and supportive. My situation does not have an easy solution so it's mostly support I need and she certainly is providing that.

Truly amazing person

I had a great experience with mistymagic. She is truly empathetic and understanding. Thank you so much for helping me in figuring out what can be done to some my problem.

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Great

Misty has been my guardian angel over the last few months. She's been there to listen to me, to be a sounding board and reflect my thoughts and feelings. She's been non-judgemental and non-directive but also helpful, caring, funny, smart.
She's really helped me through one of the toughest times in my life. THANK YOU!!

Lovely listener x

I loved the way , the advices were given . Thanks alot .

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really helpful :)

She is amazing and I think I is going to be really helpful

Amazing person

Wow, this person’s words are so nice and uplifting. It feels easy to talk to Misty, and she/he does a brilliliant job making me feel better. To accept this persons kindness is so heartfelt, I remind myself to accept in the kindness. It is soooo nice there’s strangers willing to bring peace, happiness, and comfort to another human, and this is what Misty has done for me.

Great listeners and a great support! I felt understood and I would not hesitate to contact her again!

Great listener to chat with.

a truly great, kind, understanding listener! Theres nothing you could´ve done better. a blessing to this website!!

Friendly and good listener

They were genuine and laid back. They helped so much and I had such a nice time chatting to them, distracted me from my problem and I felt so much better after talking to them.

Good listener. Thanks

from dilemmas to pizza preferences, this is your girl haha

Misty owns a heart of gold and the wisdom of rare stones.

a very kind soul

MistyMagic took the time to understand what was going on, clarified if need be and tried to understand all the factors. I really appreciate talking with MistyMagic. Thank you again MistyMagic!

I appreciate that MistyMagic took the time to fully understand my situation and let me speak. MistyMagic's response time was very quick, and sensitive to my matter.

Excellent listener, very compassionate and willing to help. Gave me some really excellent suggestions and feedback.

Misty has been an amazing listener there with me through a very difficult time without judgement, but with calmness and kindness. Thank you so much Misty!

She made me laugh. Angel

very helpful. gives you practical strategies

Truly amazing person truly cares about people heart of gold helped me in my time of need

caring person

Great person to interact with. I was able to open my heart and get best out of the situation.

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sweet person

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Misty is a good person :)

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Such a sweetheart... always uplifting and understanding.

Mistymagic really created an atmosphere where I could share things with without feeling judged. I ended the conversation with a much better control on my emotions than what I had before I started the conversation. Really appreciate all the efforts and time invested.

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