Eva’s Crazy Mind

@justmeeva

(honestly, I’m really mad now :’) not because of you at all but like it’s unrelated. kinda. it’s on another forum tho. and I really can’t control my emotions while I’m going through them and honestly I can’t even type differently to how I feel and be okay with that. It’s just how I am. so I’m sorry if this comes out at all harsh or anything like that :’)🩷I’m really sorry.)

;-; damn I just realized everything I’m thinking is gonna come out wrong :D oh well. ngl in my opinion it’s just better than lying. or faking. you’re my friend🩷and I love you :p so it’d just be stupid to lie to you🩷I guess I might not be easy to forget but not really in a good way. if I left you’d remember me you just wouldn’t care(not targeted at specifically you). yeah I know I don’t- sorry if that sounds wrong I just felt like I explained it well enough the first time. I know I’m going through stuff, the only validation I ever get is from shock or disbelief, I wasn’t taking a break, i didn’t want it to be a break, it managed to turn into a break because I couldn’t get it done right the first time and :’) I’ve been in the corner🩷and I’ve read those posts. I don’t wanna go back there and I know eyes is gonna probably read this I’m not mad at anyone I just don’t like the feeling that comes with being there it hurts and I’m not gonna explain it I just don’t wanna talk to anyone and I know I’ve talked to some other people in some forums and that’s what made eyes think I was mad and then ni posted after she saw me talk about missing literally my closest friend that I’m so worried about and I talked to her on another forum and honestly I’ve said it before and I’m gonna keep saying it but you won’t miss me you’re fine together and you’re fine without me. omg I sound so mean :’) you wont wanna reply to any of it but if I make you hate me for hurting each of you then you’re probably not gonna want to talk to me anymore. I really do love you guys. and idk what to do about it but I love you all so much I hate myself and I can’t explain it. 

TW really inappropriate and triggering topics :p🤍skip over it tho honestly.🤍/gen(no but like✨more genuinity :p✨it’s not a word but like really if you can’t reply don’t🩷)

btw :’) there’re so many things thatre making me really overwhelmed or panicky right now and that turns into anger for me sometimes :’) and it’s just like. mostly with that *** 11 year old in my science class that faces his device towards me to hide it from the teacher and starts watching porn and like bro. it’s not like I look but it just makes me so mad. It’s so *** disgusting what is *** happening to people atp literally just stop it omg-thinking about the fact people do this makes me start crying :’) whys it even an addiction in the first place. I’m trying not to go on caps but I’m just shaking :’) because it bothers me so much bro why’re you watching porn literally just stop just stop- I’m not even joking he’s not built to be in a school. he’s literally not normal. that *** *** up your head and the fact it does *** that to an 11 year old makes me so mad. whatre this guys parents even doing- I know there’s that thing that goes "no matter how good of parents you can be your kids will always find a way to do something stupid" but not to this extent?? and then I tried getting a listener and this guy sent me a full *** *** of his *** and I just :’) what the *** is wrong with people- bro- I’m so done :’) and then in history all the guys in my table started talking about *** I shouldn’t be having to listen to and then this guy moaned and I’m just so *** done. then they started talking about how their friend got *** at seeing their other freind’s 7 year old sister? wtf. then they were talking about that same friend watching anime porn and the friend started looking at me and yelling that all the guys he knew watched it and that it was just anime. then I was just sitting comfortably and this guy kept staring at my legs until I moved and he looked up at me? then this other guy got mad that I didn’t wanna be his rebound pawn victim *** ***. and this other guys trynna get me to *** or else he’ll kill himself? okay. k.ys. literally wtf. I’m just so done :’) and then so many people on here think they get me and they kept trying to twist my words. and ngl eyes tags kinda bothered me a little fsr. especially the no pressure when there was clearly pressure. just stop saying that and the tyt they never mean it. I love eyes everything’s just getting on my nerves. but. it’s just adding onto everything else. and before it all you probably already know about how I failed to k.ms and I just want to give up atp. I’m literally venting in your space and I don’t *** know why. you can just ignore this blob of text if you want to. really tho🩷I was just trying to tell you the reason I was so mean or dry or rude etc wasn’t because of you and I love you <3 

:0 that sounded so sarcastic hehe xD🩷it’s okay it’s okay🩷🩷

I love that :0 the tiny comfortable celebration :0💜💜I loved it💜

yus but I love you more <3💓

eva :0 was that image from the emoji combination thing :0 I love it :0💕tysm💕