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Eva’s Crazy Mind

justmeeva January 21st

i’ve wanted to make a forum post like that for quite a while now, but never brought myself to actually make it. here i will write up all sorts of thoughts and vents, everything i need to get off my mind. it’s not gonna be positive or motivational, not even close. i personally don’t recommend reading it just because it doesn’t help lol. you’re welcome to read, replies are okay, just be aware that it’s gonna be a pretty dark place. i don’t usually ask for help despite telling everybody to. idk why. i’m not a very good example of what’s right to do. TW just in case, not planning to go that far but who knows. 

i’m making myself this space because sometimes you can feel lonely while being surrounded by a million people and that’s nobody’s fault.

best wishes to you. ❤️

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justmeeva OP April 30th

i’m not talking *** to her about mental health

justmeeva OP April 30th

why’d i ever think it would be a good idea in the first place aren’t i stupid

justmeeva OP April 30th

i’m gonna go i- idk. 

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for so many things right now. That's she's so shallow and narrow minded that she would think that you do it for attention. If that was for attention then why would you hide it? Just like her thoughts of how everything is screens. She's getting all the wrong information from all the wrong places. You are not to blame - she can't look deep enough into herself to admit that her and her behavior - her treatment of you are a factor. I'm so sorry I suggested that maybe you write her to try and speak that way.  I can totally understand why that's not an option. I'm sorry

4 replies

@mytwistedsoul @justmeeva im sorry too eva. Im sorry some people just wont try to understand. You deserve better, way better, and im sorry thats not what youre getting.

Sending optional hugs eva ❤️ i agree with you soul- but dont feel bad about your earlier suggestion, you cldnt have known how she wld react. 

1 reply

@unassumingEyes @mytwistedsoul

I agree with you both 😔 @justmeeva I’m v sorry too Eva beanie 💜 :') 

(Hugs for you three if okay) 😞

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justmeeva OP May 1st

@mytwistedsoul 

no nothing’s your fault. i didn’t get to write or talk to her about it, she found out herself, in a way. talking to her, writing, communicating - they should’ve been good ideas. they should’ve been right to do. even i didn’t expect her to react.. the way she did. the thought was good, just the person was wrong.., i guess? anyway my point is, it’s not your fault. i don’t blame you at all. you’re understanding and supportive, you’re a good person doing good things. thank you for your words, for caring, for being here. <3

1 reply

@justmeeva *offers safe hugs* thank you for saying that. I was hopeful that she would do right by you. I forgot in the moment how unpredictable and volatile parents are when it comes to their kids mental health and anything that might make them look bad or that they're to blame.  And how blind they are even when the truth is staring back at them through the mirror

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justmeeva OP May 1st

i have to read for probably at least a few hours now. she’ll be checking on me so no phone. :/

1 reply

@justmeeva

i’m sorry :/ 

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justmeeva OP May 1st

today morning, she came to my room and asked if i’d show her. as if. 

justmeeva OP May 1st

“Seek Help, Not Information” 

•_•

thanks 👍

justmeeva OP May 1st

Is 1212 an angel number?

Absolutely not. 1212 is an angel number.”

•___•

losing braincells here. 

1 reply

@justmeeva huh-

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justmeeva OP May 1st

i really don’t wanna go to school tomorrow. but this time, i don’t have a choice.

justmeeva OP May 1st

i got the book yesterday, the due date is tomorrow. i have read less than 40/140 pages. so i thought, i can just watch the movie.. but i’m not so sure how good of an idea it is to watch it at night before sleep now. so idk what i’m gonna do.