Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

in the wonders of my mindšŸ’—.

iloveyouxx March 17th

hey there :D hm. last time I checked you didnā€™t look like mešŸ§makes sense doesnā€™t itšŸ˜›since there can only be one *me*āœØone of a kind now arent IšŸ˜/sar. one out of 8118835999āœØšŸŒ·can you imagine :0 o right- you can- becoss youā€™re also one of a kindšŸ’– sorrysorry haha :PšŸ¤im just messing around xDšŸ’žalso itā€™s 2am- but shush no snitchingšŸ¤«Iā€™ll sleep in a whilešŸ˜when Iā€™m feeling a bit more sane :>šŸ˜›šŸ©·

wanted to have my own space.šŸ’œ for thoughts feelings vents or just anything on my mind.šŸ’™

to whoever'sĀ coming acrossĀ :'3šŸ’œplease dont lurk here.šŸ©· I know anyone can have access to this forumĀ :')šŸ’™but please be respectfulšŸ©·.(but honestly..I know someone will either way :PšŸ’› yā€™all get crazy nosy haha- itā€™s alright.šŸ’›nothing too interesting will be here anywayšŸ’›if you would like to come in and be supportive itā€™s completely okiešŸ’›but please donā€™t make it a regular or "normal" thing if that makes sense. just have a sort of limitšŸ’›because Iā€™d still like this to be just my space ^-^šŸ’›)

peach-and-goma.gif

3926
iloveyouxx OP August 7th

goodnight I guess, you know, if anyoneā€™s here xd not to be annoying but, I hope I die in my sleep, haha. anywhoo goodnight bye Iā€™ll maybe manage to come back since you know how everyoneā€™s gonna miss seeing me around :>/j sorry idk. lol. I donā€™t want to be negative. bye <3

iloveyouxx OP August 7th

um so

uh

i guess I was thinking about myself so much that I just thought when I came back everyone would be like gone already :ā€™) and I know no oneā€™s saying anything but I havenā€™t been saying anything either and I just didnā€™t want to talk to anyone and. I still donā€™t. unless they talk to me and I donā€™t think anyone wanted to. or wants to xdĀ 

I know itā€™s a stupid post to make but I think the reason upvotes mean so much to me is because of I guess how this space used to be and it affected me a lot more than it shouldā€™veĀ 

and it also makes me feel like I have friends even tho I keep telling myself I donā€™tĀ 

its just lonely

but um

my notifications TvT

thankyou <3Ā 

itā€™s way more than enough to make me feel better. even the random 2 upvotes by the user Iā€™ve never seen before :p lol so sweet I havenā€™t even talked to them before but so sweet <3 theyā€™re probably amazing like all of youĀ 

anywho Iā€™m still making this in white text tho cause I probably sound stupid or said something um weird or maybe thisā€™ll make more people leave or uh *nervous emoji*/j thankyou sm tho <3Ā 

(oh and if you canā€™t upvote since you know, you so desperately want to/j than itā€™s okay I think like 2 people ran out of upvotes but Iā€™ll still accept your care telepathically)

2 replies
iloveyouxx OP August 7th
Iā€™ll still accept your care through telepathy**
1 reply
iloveyouxx OP August 7th
i only just realized I said it right the first time :p
load more
load more
iloveyouxx OP August 7th

img-9490_1723037077.jpeg

Thinking of you, Nadiaabeanieee!šŸ’–

@iloveyouxxĀ 

hugs-love.gif

5 replies
iloveyouxx OP August 7th

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

awwwe! I missed youu so muchšŸ’–

life isnā€™t the same without a sunniebeanieee hehe <3šŸ’—šŸ’—

milk-and-mocha-bear-hug.gif

4 replies

@iloveyouxx

Just Nadiabeaniee being the professional "heart-melter" as always.šŸ„ŗšŸ„°

*keeps hugging tighttt*Ā 

How's youuuuu?šŸ’–

3 replies
iloveyouxx OP August 7th

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

:0 just sunniebeaniee being the professional "smile spreader" as alwaysšŸ˜›šŸ™‚ā€ā†•ļøā¤ļø

hugs vv tightšŸ’•šŸ«‚šŸ’•

I could be better I guessĀ :') but youu make me feel betteršŸ©·

hows youuušŸ’–?


2 replies

@iloveyouxx

Haha I see what you did here.šŸ˜›šŸ˜­šŸ’–

Oh nu, it's vv okay to leave a lil room to be better. You deserve to feel the best, but darn āœØlifeāœØ sometimes, yeah?šŸ„²

Always happierrr to make you feel better.šŸ¤—šŸ’–

I've been so and so, just making it through āœØlifeāœØ too.šŸ¤

Receiving tags like "iloveyouxx upvoted your post" and "iloveyouxx has mentioned you" has been today's highlight for me.šŸ„°šŸ’–

1 reply
iloveyouxx OP August 7th

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

ehehehešŸ˜›šŸ’žšŸ’–

mhmšŸ« šŸ„²šŸ’œlife doesnā€™t have much sympathy xDšŸ¤like, at all xDšŸ¤awwwešŸ©·

hehe youā€™re the best and the kindest everr awwšŸ„ŗšŸ¤—šŸ’–šŸ’•

aww its okayšŸ’—šŸ¤šŸ’— āœØlifeāœØ smhšŸ™„šŸ« šŸ’œ*says stuff Iā€™d never say to myself* but itā€™s okie because itā€™ll get betteršŸ˜­you have to struggle a lot before being happy againšŸ˜­and struggling is a part of life andšŸ˜­and we love youu and weā€™re all here and itā€™s okay because weā€™re never alone herešŸ’–hugs vvv tightšŸ’–

awwwešŸ„ŗšŸ’•šŸ’œ

Sunisshiningandsoareyou upvoted your post my brothers bir...

Sunisshiningandsoareyou upvoted your post when I was at m...

Sunisshiningandsoareyou upvoted your post

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou..

Sunisshiningandsoareyou upvoted your post @Sunisshiningandsoareyouawwwe!...


all of thesešŸ’•Iā€™m not sure if I accidentally crossed any out but these made my day easieršŸ©·and talking to you :p and staying in my room all day and not talking to anyone xD but youuu were the highlight of my dayšŸ’–

load more
load more
load more
load more
load more
justmeeva August 7th

@iloveyouxxĀ 

i woke up today, and i thought about you, first thing in the morning. and then i came to cups, saw a notification from your thread, went to see if it was you or someone missing you, and saw that it was you. and my mind just went ''yippeee she's heree! <3'' hehe. even though it was you explaining some tough things you're going through, i was still happy to hear from you. you've been on my mind a lot <3 there's something in every day that reminds me of you. i'm glad you're here nadia <3 i will continue to love you, no matter what <3
*offers long optional hugs*

2 replies
iloveyouxx OP August 7th

@justmeeva

TvT everything I think of saying sounds so horrible. but aww, your mind is adorable hehe <3 my mind is full of such stupid things and I canā€™t even reply properly >: Iā€™m sorry. I donā€™t even know what happened I was half functioning a while agoĀ 

I love youā¤ļø

forever hugs <3Ā 

I triedĀ :') Iā€™m sorry Iā€™ll try again later. except I know I wonā€™t come up with anything better to say. thankyou for being my friend <3 maybe Iā€™ll spend my time staring at a wall and thinking of a bunch of things I shouldā€™ve said :D my brain is just so annoying it doesnā€™t have anything to do with you thoĀ 

šŸ©·šŸ©·šŸ©·

2 replies
justmeeva August 7th

@iloveyouxxĀ 
it's okayy i promise, i'll take the hugs since they're way more than enoughĀ šŸ’—šŸ’• *hugs forevereverever*
try not to feel bad, please? i have those times too, really really often where there are just no words no matter how much you want to have words <3Ā  i'm not mad, i'm not expecting anything more from youĀ šŸ’— you don't have to burden your mind with thinking of a reply, i'm satisfied with the hugs (:Ā šŸ’• if there's no words, there's no wordsĀ ĀÆ\_(惄)_/ĀÆĀ Ā it's not your fault <3

2 replies
iloveyouxx OP August 7th

@justmeeva

i had a reply written up and itā€™s gone :D

sgshaghsmabsnsjlsksknjšŸ©·thankyoušŸ©·*hugs foreverevereverevvevrvrvr* <3Ā 

I wanted to say Iā€™m sorry because uh >: well of course 1 because Iā€™m sorry if my reply in your space made you uncomfy or idk wasnā€™t needed or, idk TvTšŸ’•it took a lot of courage lmao I shouldā€™ve just not :D and Iā€™m sorry becauseĀ :') the video thing. I kept trying to perfect it and I wanted to send it to you on your birthday. and it was perfect and everything but then I saw I donā€™t remember I think two people tell you happy birthday or send a gif or something and for some reason thatā€™s what made me feel like my video wasnā€™t enough :p >: and I just spent that day hating myself and I never told you happy birthdayĀ :')Ā 

happyā€¦.very, veryā€¦very. very. very, very late birthdayĀ :')šŸŽ‰šŸ©·*sucks at being a proper friend*

I donā€™t know if you saw (because I donā€™t remember where I talked about it) but I talked about having so many dreams about my cups friend like that she had a youtube channel or when I found out she worked at mcdonalds or when we got arrested but it was actually this like basically creature but only we could see it and, I know it sounds stupid TvT but now I had a couple of dreams with you in them, lol <3 I donā€™t remember a lot just very small things, I could tell you about them if you want hehe <3Ā 

youre a very special friend to me even tho I guess we :p rarely talk :p but thatā€™s my fault sometimes too. we could go 5 years without talking and Iā€™d still remember you and think of you as my friend <3Ā 

(itā€™s 2am so maybe thatā€™s why I decided to bring up like everything I could?šŸ˜… I know this is a lot and a long post and a lot to reply to, but you donā€™t have to reply to any of itšŸ©·2am hugs, lolšŸ©·I love youu I hope you get some sleepā¤ļø)


2 replies
justmeeva August 8th

@iloveyouxx
*replies 5 hours later than 'in the morning' eughh*
eee nadiaa noo it didn't make me uncomfy i just got carried away and genuinely didn't see it <33 *pat pat* you're always welcome there i promise <3Ā 
awweeĀ šŸ„ŗ i'm preeettty sure that i would've loved it <3 but i completely understand the self doubt and extra criticism and everything <3 idk if you relate but if i do something for someone, whether it's a letter or video or drawing or anything, then since i've seen it over and over, it feels like weird or like something's missing, like it's not enough :') and then i wish i could see it for the first time so i know what the person i'm giving it to might think of it TvT but i promise you're just being extra hard on yourself, i'm 101% sure it's amazingĀ šŸ©· i could've given you a hug or something smh feeling bad on my birthday is unacceptable! /hj /lhĀ šŸ©·
thank youĀ very, veryā€¦very. very. very, very muchĀ šŸ©· *hugs you because it's not your fault and i haven't been a very good, or at least very active friend either i know*
:0 no i don't think i saw it? :00 dream*s* about me?? of course i want to hear, if you still remember them lol <3
yeah i think it's mostly my fault, i guess i'm just really afraid of saying something wrong or at a wrong time or making anything worse and i just- really don't want it to happen :') <3 but i agree, i'll forever count you as a friend no matter how much or little we communicate because it's like.. even if you're not there i know you're there? and you're basically a vip local guest in my brain atp with those random visits :p yes i think about you a lot <3
3pm hugs lolĀ šŸ©· i love you moreeĀ šŸ©·šŸ©·

2 replies
iloveyouxx OP August 8th

@justmeeva

Snkebsjdvsgsh Ā ahsvusndfejhd slekksahhahshrejjejs youā€™re so cute and sweet and kind awwwšŸ„ŗšŸ˜­šŸ’•

Iā€™m really really really sorry I promise Iā€™ll reply to this later, can you save it somewherešŸ©·like in the private section of your profile if you donā€™t want it to be somewhere outside cups or something, just incase and so I could be able to reply if this goes and youā€™d have it savedšŸ©·

Iā€™ll reply right when I....well :p if I manage to be on and can reply Iā€™ll reply but if not Iā€™ll try and come back with another accountšŸ’—

1 reply
justmeeva August 8th

@iloveyouxxĀ 

mhm i saved it šŸ©· tyt iā€™ll be waiting for you šŸ’•šŸ©·

load more
iloveyouxx OP August 10th

@justmeeva

*goes back to teenie text* *hehe* <3

*replies 2 days later cause Iā€™m an amazing friend* :> (5 hours is basically nothingšŸ©·think about it, five fours, five minutes, same samešŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļøšŸ’•/lh) but actually tho Iā€™d be so proud of myself if I replied to someone after only 5 hours lol :pšŸ©·

awwwe <3šŸ’“thankyoušŸ˜­šŸ©·*tells brain to shut up*šŸ« šŸ§ šŸ’–

nu I relateĀ :') TvTšŸ©·I felt horrible like itā€™s all it took to make me hate it and no one else made a like 4 minute video or maybe they did and that would make mine not as specialšŸ˜­youā€™re so kindšŸ©·yus I feel the need to keep saying itšŸ˜›šŸ’•I forgot what it was like to talk to you :pĀ 

šŸ„ŗšŸ©·*hugs you because it doesnā€™t matter and when you are here youā€™re the best friend ever*

ofcourse :0 I dream about cups a lot xD but dreams about specific cups friends are very very specialšŸ’–I barely remember now ugh T^T a long time after the dreams Iā€™d had remember them well enough but after I got āœØinjuredāœØ my memory is horrible, (it wonā€™t make sense how I know the people in my dreams are you but I just did in the dream I know I didšŸ˜­I hope it makes sense) in one dream I was having a panic attack in this really specific place I feel like Iā€™ve seen it before, itā€™s hard to describe and make sense of but I was behind this big thing with like seats and stuff and people and you turned around and looked down and you were justĀ ._. and I looked up ugly crying/j and you smiled and I tried to smile back and you went back :3 it was a short but sweet dream xDšŸ’“another dream was so so sooo long but I barely remember anything at allšŸ˜­we were all animated (you were the main character in it thoāœØ)and you were on a carpet or broom and I think it was like a competition thing it was such an amazing dream Iā€™m so sad I donā€™t remember >:šŸ©·I had a dream your dog was chasing me, he was a golden retriever, these dreams arenā€™t really crazy huh xD Iā€™m gonna force myself to remember and Iā€™ll tell you how it goes xD or Iā€™ll try dreaming againšŸ’—mostly I dream about the things I think of last before I fall asleep and I knew it before the scientific fact stuff I just knew it myself so hopefully Iā€™d rememberšŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļøšŸ’ž

*šŸš®:D* why does everything I say sound sošŸ˜­I think about you a lot too hehe <3 and I understand, enoughšŸ©·šŸ˜…itā€™s okie <3šŸ’ž

3am hugsšŸ©·šŸ©·nope I love you more for sure:ppšŸ©·šŸ©·

2 replies
iloveyouxx OP August 10th

@justmeeva

no wait I forgot to show you something :0šŸ’“

āœŠšŸæšŸ‘‡šŸæšŸ‘‡šŸæšŸ‘‡šŸæšŸ‘‡šŸæšŸ‘‡šŸæšŸ‘‡šŸæšŸ‘‡šŸæšŸ‘‡šŸæšŸ‘‡šŸæāœŠšŸæ

šŸ‘‰šŸæšŸ‘šŸæšŸ‘‡šŸ¾šŸ‘‡šŸ¾šŸ‘‡šŸ¾šŸ‘‡šŸ¾šŸ‘‡šŸ¾šŸ‘‡šŸ¾šŸ‘‡šŸ¾šŸ‘šŸæšŸ‘ˆšŸæ

šŸ‘‰šŸæšŸ‘‰šŸ¾šŸ‘šŸ¾šŸ‘‡šŸ½šŸ‘‡šŸ½šŸ‘‡šŸ½šŸ‘‡šŸ½šŸ‘‡šŸ½šŸ‘šŸ¾šŸ‘ˆšŸ¾šŸ‘ˆšŸæ

šŸ‘‰šŸæšŸ‘‰šŸ¾šŸ‘‰šŸ½šŸ‘šŸ½šŸ‘‡šŸ¼šŸ‘‡šŸ¼šŸ‘‡šŸ¼šŸ‘šŸ½šŸ‘ˆšŸ½šŸ‘ˆšŸ¾šŸ‘ˆšŸæ

šŸ‘‰šŸæšŸ‘‰šŸ¾šŸ‘‰šŸ½šŸ‘‰šŸ¼šŸ‘šŸ¼šŸ‘‡šŸ»šŸ‘šŸ¼šŸ‘ˆšŸ¼šŸ‘ˆšŸ½šŸ‘ˆšŸ¾šŸ‘ˆšŸæ

šŸ‘‰šŸæšŸ‘‰šŸ¾šŸ‘‰šŸ½šŸ‘‰šŸ¼šŸ‘‰šŸ»ā¤ļøšŸ‘ˆšŸ»šŸ‘ˆšŸ¼šŸ‘ˆšŸ½šŸ‘ˆšŸ¾šŸ‘ˆšŸæ

šŸ‘‰šŸæšŸ‘‰šŸ¾šŸ‘‰šŸ½šŸ‘‰šŸ¼šŸ‘šŸ¼ā˜šŸ»šŸ‘šŸ¼šŸ‘ˆšŸ¼šŸ‘ˆšŸ½šŸ‘ˆšŸ¾šŸ‘ˆšŸæ

šŸ‘‰šŸæšŸ‘‰šŸ¾šŸ‘‰šŸ½šŸ‘šŸ½ā˜šŸ¼ā˜šŸ¼ā˜šŸ¼šŸ‘šŸ½šŸ‘ˆšŸ½šŸ‘ˆšŸ¾šŸ‘ˆšŸæ

šŸ‘‰šŸæšŸ‘‰šŸ¾šŸ‘šŸ¾ā˜šŸ½ā˜šŸ½ā˜šŸ½ā˜šŸ½ā˜šŸ½šŸ‘šŸ¾šŸ‘ˆšŸ¾šŸ‘ˆšŸæ

šŸ‘‰šŸæšŸ‘šŸæā˜šŸ¾ā˜šŸ¾ā˜šŸ¾ā˜šŸ¾ā˜šŸ¾ā˜šŸ¾ā˜šŸ¾šŸ‘šŸæšŸ‘ˆšŸæ

āœŠšŸæā˜šŸæā˜šŸæā˜šŸæā˜šŸæā˜šŸæā˜šŸæā˜šŸæā˜šŸæā˜šŸæāœŠšŸæ

I just saw it and thought it looked cool and was like šŸ’­eva :0šŸ’­ and wanted to show it to youšŸ©·

1 reply
iloveyouxx OP August 10th
idk if itā€™s just my device but it got so messed up omg TvT nvmšŸ˜­šŸ’•
1 reply
justmeeva August 12th

@iloveyouxxĀ 

in my phone it got messed up but in my laptop it shows correctly <3 *loves it* eeeeeee <3

1 reply
iloveyouxx OP August 17th

@justmeeva

ouhh hehe yaaayyyy <33šŸ’–

load more
load more
load more
justmeeva August 12th

@iloveyouxxĀ 

*replies 1 day later cause i too am an amazing friend* :> (it'sĀ  o k a yĀ  2 days is basically 2 hours pffĀ šŸ™„šŸ’•)
*takes all your self doubt thoughts away and throws them in the trash*Ā šŸ—‘ļøšŸš® there (: it *is* special oke i wouldn't compare it to anything i would just endlessly appreciate itĀ šŸ’—šŸ’• you made it so it's not even a question if it's specialĀ šŸ©·
*sits and takes popcorn and reads*Ā šŸ‘€ i wonder what i looked like in your dreamĀ šŸ‘€šŸ¤”šŸ˜¶ *entertained* (*ends the thought here because i have no right words but it's cool and sweet and yeah i have no right words :D*)
i won't even say what i saw in my dream today they're wild broĀ šŸ˜­
šŸ˜­ they're either nightmares, an actual dream (/wish) or they're complete absurd nonsense.Ā šŸ˜­
*2:30pm hugs*Ā 
šŸ©·šŸ©·objection um no i'm pretty sure i love you morešŸ©·šŸ©·/lhh

1 reply
iloveyouxx OP August 17th

@justmeeva

*replies 1 week laterā€¦* ā€¦ :> (help what do you say for this one-)

šŸ©·šŸ©·think I had like 60 something retakes TvT they were all on the now non working device tho >: and no oneā€™s actually trying to fix it :ā€™)šŸ¤

you were blonde :p xD and really pretty :3šŸ’•šŸ’“

one time my dream was just a podcast about a wormšŸ˜­šŸ˜‚and the worm was..worming, what do worms even do :p they wiggle xD sorry xD they wiggle forwards. and today my dream was so long and confusing and I donā€™t remember much but it was basically just a cartoon with 2 main characters traveling to the past to events they were in and fixing stuff, itā€™s not a real cartoon I guess my brain just made it upāœØand I also had a dream where I saw ice (the cat) :ā€™) alive. the dream was sweet, I was talking to my cousin like oh so I misheard and sheā€™s fine :0 and I just sat with her the whole timešŸ’—

(howā€™s it always so early there :0šŸ’œ) *5:40am hugs*šŸ©·šŸ’œšŸ©·Ā 

D: *gasp* uhm objection speculation I definitely love you more D:šŸ™„šŸ’–šŸ’•šŸ©·Ā 

load more
load more
load more
load more
load more
load more
load more
iloveyouxx OP August 7th

when I was at my aunts house for a couple of days I took someā€¦well, a little more than some :p photos of the cats. hehe.

img-9341_1723046640.jpegimg-9389_1723046674.jpegimg-9371_1723046708.jpegimg-9382_1723046739.jpegimg-9375_1723046779.jpegimg-9479_1723046798.jpegimg-9473_1723046820.jpegimg-9440_1723046851.jpegimg-9443_1723046867.jpegimg-9405_1723046892.jpegimg-9406_1723046910.jpegimg-9429_1723046947.jpegimg-9423_1723046965.jpegimg-9480_1723047076.jpegimg-9347_1723047049.jpegimg-9367_1723047109.jpegimg-9433_1723047122.jpegimg-9363_1723047331.jpegimg-9428_1723047347.jpegimg-9337_1723047423.jpegimg-9341_1723047438.jpegimg-9315_1723047587.jpegimg-9438_1723047637.jpeg

(only a few of them because cups only lets you put one at a time :p)

8 replies
iloveyouxx OP August 7th
noooo why is it so unclear here.. :ā€™)

@iloveyouxx

Omigoooshhh!šŸ˜­šŸ˜»šŸ˜­šŸ˜»šŸ˜­šŸ˜»

1 reply
iloveyouxx OP August 7th

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

hehehe I knooww šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ„ŗā¤ļøšŸ¾ I tried so hard to take a selfie with louis xD I failed so many times

img-9510_1723052414.jpegimg-9491_1723052427.jpegimg-9499_1723052447.jpeg

etcšŸ˜­I got a few okay ones? xD also when I was trying to take another selfie louis actually saw himself in the camera and he got so scared and jumped so I stoppedšŸ˜­šŸ’•Iā€™m glad I got a bunch of memories hehe I took 400 and something photos and idk how many videos :pšŸ’–

load more
mytwistedsoul August 7th

@iloveyouxxĀ  They look so soft!

4 replies
iloveyouxx OP August 8th

@mytwistedsoul

right? louis sometimes gets his fur tangled up mostly around his face. heā€™s so pillow material :p ice is calm and sweet but she only trusts a few people to be around her so no one bothers her

3 replies
mytwistedsoul August 8th

@iloveyouxx Aww Ice and Louis šŸ˜Š very cool!Ā 

2 replies
mytwistedsoul August 9th

I didn't mention earlier but it's really nice to see you here again šŸ’™

1 reply
iloveyouxx OP August 9th

@mytwistedsoul

awwwww thankyou šŸ’™Ā itā€™s always nice to see you around here toošŸ’™šŸ’™

load more
load more
load more
load more
load more
iloveyouxx OP August 7th

my brothers birthdays in a couple of hoursĀ 

iloveyouxx OP August 7th

(I have to go charge my device and the room with the charger doesnā€™t have internet but Iā€™ll be back<3)

*poof*

thankyou for talking to mešŸ’–@Sunisshiningandsoareyou yous the bestest sunniebeanie everrrrevevrvrvevrvrr hehešŸ’–youā€™re the reason Iā€™m happy todayšŸ’–

@justmeeva and thankyou for posting I know my reply was like, horrible :p but you always have such amazing things to say <3šŸ©·

@cathugsandharmony @LoveMyMoonflowers thankyou for flooding my notifications with lovešŸ˜­šŸ’žit meant so much to me Iā€™m not deleting a single one until it goes on itā€™s own hehe

imm being called :p byebye <3 thankyou for being such amazing friends! I actually really do feel better. even physically :p thankyou sm <3Ā 

1 reply
iloveyouxx OP August 7th

i put it too early TvT

*poof*

load more
iloveyouxx OP August 7th

my i-lost-countā€™th all nighter in a rowĀ 

iloveyouxx OP August 7th

I forgot to mention :p Iā€™m eating now. I donā€™t really have a choice. and I never knew but my weight is in the average scale, I never check my weight because when my anorexia was worse Iā€™d check every 5 minutes or even less sometimes sometimes Iā€™d be walking outside the room (with the weight scale) Ā and Iā€™d look back and close the door and check again. and even when I was dangerously underweight Iā€™d still break down looking at myself because I wasnā€™t skinny enough.Ā 

somewhere while I was starving myself my aunt took me out and I told her I wouldnā€™t eat anything and long story short she forced me to eat and I was crying because I felt horrible and I started counting the calories it mightā€™ve been and I started being dramatic and doubling and tripling the amount of calories because I thought I ate a lot. and she told me it hurt her to see me feel so guilty for eating :p and she said I needed to stop because I sheā€™s had patients with anorexia and Iā€™m acting like them. and I said I wonā€™t develop anorexia and she was like do you know what anorexia is

and I remember exactly.Ā putting my fingers around my wrist and I said "itā€™s when, itā€™s when youā€™re so skinny your bones pop out and youā€™re like a skeleton"Ā 

ā€¦.

1 reply
iloveyouxx OP August 8th

i donā€™t even remember exactly what I was saying here (I donā€™t feel like checking) but I just realized, oh ya, I should like, actually put tws and stuff :ā€™)

tw eating disorder^

load more