in the wonders of my mind💗.

_{I wasn't there but I know about it, my grandma was crying about how she misses her family and my grandpa and dad started yelling at her because other people will think she's complaining about them. it doesn't even make sense. my grandma had the closest connection with her family and they're all dead literally all of them. I've heard so many stories especially ones with her dad in them her dad was so special and loved and he's dead. she had 6 siblings and they're all dead aunts and uncles and cousins, she only has contact with some of her sisters daughters now. and honestly yeah its a pretty *** place to live if she was complaining I'd agree, and apparently they were cursing and saying things they've never said before and the house was just :') my grandma hasn't slept in two days and she's just been crying all the time, I was there then but only for a couple of hours I don't know how it happened so horribly like it's days later and shes remembering and crying I wish I was there}

_{my dad's threatened to hit my grandma before. ?? she's your mom and she's like 70 something, my grandma's said before that my dad was the naughtiest and hardest to understand (out of 4 kids) one time my dad was yelling about something and my uncle was like seriously you want me to tell them? and what I got out of the whole thing was my dad left home for weeks and they got worried but he just turned out to be fine and with his friends drinking or something. I know my grandma was the best mom he could've ever asked for and she cares about and loves him, he was like don't make me (hit) you because I guess what happened was she wanted help with the tv but she wanted to learn to do it by herself so she doesn't bother anyone and my dad wasn't gonna be patient with her. but hes done worse honestly. he mocks my grandma and makes fun of her for the things she doesn't understand.} 

_{this is making me feel horrible I'll just end it here}

_{everything looks purple} 

_{I had a friend, tell my other friend (both on cups) that I’m dead.} 

_{and she wanted to deliver the news of my passing. no but she actually did she literally did and I never asked her to, I sound so mad but I’m barely moving or feeling irl, lol} 

_{I’m just idk she could’ve not. well after it with a while she said I actually wasn’t dead. but she went on about everything that happened and it’s all true but she’s making it sound like I have no chance of surviving with the “critical condition” thing which yeah true too but I’m alive  I still haven’t talked to that friend like she’s all I’m praying and hoping you’ll pull through and I don’t know what to say I didn’t even know she’d care idk if she does I’ll say something but} 

_idk

_6:31am.

_{you know how if you make up this story that happened to you and tell alot if people about it but add so much to it and you can start believing it or if you create scenarios in your head or if you tell yourself something happened to you and you add like emotions and thoughts and stuff and you start feeling and believing it all} 

I didn’t have anything to say about it I just, thought about it. it’s actually possible it can mess some people up

you can convince yourself that something physically hurts even if it doesn’t at all

:’)

_{I want to break something my ears are ringing so bad :’)} 

_{im gonna go for a while I guess I’ll just rest, byebye} 

@iloveyouxx @cathugsandharmony

look what i have :p 💕💗