in the wonders of my mindš.
hey there :D hm. last time I checked you didnāt look like meš§makes sense doesnāt itšsince there can only be one *me*āØone of a kind now arent Iš/sar. one out of 8118835999āØš·can you imagine :0 o right- you can- becoss youāre also one of a kindš sorrysorry haha :Pš¤im just messing around xDšalso itās 2am- but shush no snitchingš¤«Iāll sleep in a whilešwhen Iām feeling a bit more sane :>šš©·
wanted to have my own space.š for thoughts feelings vents or just anything on my mind.š
to whoever'sĀ coming acrossĀ :'3šplease dont lurk here.š©· I know anyone can have access to this forumĀ :')šbut please be respectfulš©·.(but honestly..I know someone will either way :Pš yāall get crazy nosy haha- itās alright.šnothing too interesting will be here anywayšif you would like to come in and be supportive itās completely okiešbut please donāt make it a regular or "normal" thing if that makes sense. just have a sort of limitšbecause Iād still like this to be just my space ^-^š)
I wasn't there but I know about it, my grandma was crying about how she misses her family and my grandpa and dad started yelling at her because other people will think she's complaining about them. it doesn't even make sense. my grandma had the closest connection with her family and they're all dead literally all of them. I've heard so many stories especially ones with her dad in them her dad was so special and loved and he's dead. she had 6 siblings and they're all dead aunts and uncles and cousins, she only has contact with some of her sisters daughters now. and honestly yeah its a pretty *** place to live if she was complaining I'd agree, and apparently they were cursing and saying things they've never said before and the house was just :') my grandma hasn't slept in two days and she's just been crying all the time, I was there then but only for a couple of hours I don't know how it happened so horribly like it's days later and shes remembering and crying I wish I was there
my dad's threatened to hit my grandma before. ?? she's your mom and she's like 70 something, my grandma's said before that my dad was the naughtiest and hardest to understand (out of 4 kids) one time my dad was yelling about something and my uncle was like seriously you want me to tell them? and what I got out of the whole thing was my dad left home for weeks and they got worried but he just turned out to be fine and with his friends drinking or something. I know my grandma was the best mom he could've ever asked for and she cares about and loves him, he was like don't make me (hit) you because I guess what happened was she wanted help with the tv but she wanted to learn to do it by herself so she doesn't bother anyone and my dad wasn't gonna be patient with her. but hes done worse honestly. he mocks my grandma and makes fun of her for the things she doesn't understand.Ā
this is making me feel horrible I'll just end it here
I had a friend on here and months ago I subscribed to all of her forums (the ones for talking with her friends) after I saw how she was talking about me and its just they were all lies and I actually donāt understand because I donāt know I donāt get it like you know youāre lying they wouldnāt have cared no one was talking about anything related and you just bring it up for no reason and donāt you idk feel bad? when i was 8-9 every night Iād have this horrible feeling in my stomach and Iād cry so hard I was always sick and my face would get red and puffy and I prayed to god to help me or change me or make me forget because I took something from someone and I lost it and it was so horrible I stopped breathing some times and one time I stopped breathing for so long and I couldnāt move it was so scary and Iād cry all night some days, I still think about it today.Ā
but today I unsubscribed to all of them. I donāt care anymore and itās not worth it.Ā
Iāve never opened or read anything on here someone didnāt want me to read or see, I donāt feel bad about this time, I just donāt get it like this isnāt some oh she comes from an abusive household type of thing itās just pointless why do people spread rumors and hate just donāt I mean does it make you happy or something- I donāt even know most of the people she was talking to. anywho itās okay tho she doesnāt anymore I think and if she will again itās okay too itās not worth it :ā)
I feel so dizzy and nauseous. I havenāt eaten anything since theā¦low fat blueberry greek yoghurt. haha :p and I am lying down I just feel so wrong
I had a friend, tell my other friend (both on cups) that Iām dead.Ā
and she wanted to deliver the news of my passing. no but she actually did she literally did and I never asked her to, I sound so mad but Iām barely moving or feeling irl, lolĀ
Iām just idk she couldāve not. well after it with a while she said I actually wasnāt dead. but she went on about everything that happened and itās all true but sheās making it sound like I have no chance of surviving with the ācritical conditionā thing which yeah true too but Iām alive Ā I still havenāt talked to that friend like sheās all Iām praying and hoping youāll pull through and I donāt know what to say I didnāt even know sheād care idk if she does Iāll say something butĀ
idk
you know how if you make up this story that happened to you and tell alot if people about it but add so much to it and you can start believing it or if you create scenarios in your head or if you tell yourself something happened to you and you add like emotions and thoughts and stuff and you start feeling and believing it allĀ
I didnāt have anything to say about it I just, thought about it. itās actually possible it can mess some people up
you can convince yourself that something physically hurts even if it doesnāt at all
:ā)
I want to break something my ears are ringing so bad :ā)Ā
im gonna go for a while I guess Iāll just rest, byebyeĀ
@iloveyouxxĀ @cathugsandharmony
look what i have :p ššĀ
@justmeevaĀ
I went back ten pages looking for this tag and it was right herešfirst of all, omgš„ŗomg omg omgš©·she is so angelic and adorable and peacefulšmy heartš©·Iām trying to remember the nameā¦..uhm. noo I forgotĀ :') she looks so precious and special and beautifulšmy eyes feel blessed lolšI love her just by looking at heršthankyouš©·this made my year lol :pāØšI was having a um, horrible day :Dš šand I was so cat deprived heh :pšdo you know what breed she is?š
and second (yes we were still on first) Iām- so sorryĀ :') I have the longest story all about me trying to reply today and I ended up getting so mad the last time that well, I mean you didnāt ask so I wonāt go on about that xD but I felt so bad and this is genuinely myā¦okay idk I got tired of counting but probably had over 10 attempts to reply to this today ;-; itās 2am now idk when I started trying but after each attempt got messed up somehow I felt worse and worse and then my brain started thinking about the other reply and I feel horrible talking to you isnāt a chore and I love talking to you and the fact I get to and-š©·itās just so unfair. I wanted to sleep at 9pm xD but I know I wonāt be able to later, so Iām gonna reply to your other post right nowš©·
thankyou for being so sweet and understanding all the timešI donāt have any cat photos on here T^T or well Iāll check wait xD
(prince)
(friska)
and thatās all of them when they were first adopted (prince friska louis and iceā¤ļø) I wasnāt there for any of those and most of whats on here is all videosĀ
but itās okayĀ
also
i know this is long for like the four words you actually sent lol :p and honestly I wasnāt really saying much anyway I was just yapping <3 so if you donāt feel like replying itās okay reallyā¤ļø
*closes eyes and slams post*/j/j
@iloveyouxx
āØshellyāØ lolĀ š©· she's a mix of a siamese cat we had, and some orange long fur cat from idk where lol :pĀ š she has a sister who's an orange short fur cat and she lives at my grandma's :pĀ
it's okayyy i replied 2 days late too just because *blank space because i don't have a straightforward reason* :')š¤§ i'd never be mad at you for replying when you can okay?Ā š©·
eeeeeeeeee they're adorableeeeeeeeeeeĀ š„ŗš„ŗ i love each and every one of them *saves mental image forever* eeeeeeeeĀ š©·ššš©·ššš©·šš
I found a poem I wrote in April 17 2019, Iām so traumatized I canāt even share it here itās genuinely embarrassing. I was writing it on this board with a blue marker and someone took a picture and itās on here Iām deleting itĀ Ā
