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The only thing left is memories (Ape's diary, no peaking)

User Profile: Bearainy
Bearainy July 17th, 2024

Tw; domestic, sexual abuse, PTSD,  (possible Schizophrenia, DID) social anxiety, family stress.


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Hi buddies. Hugs for you all. This is my diary. No reply please. Love you.


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"When I stand before thee at the end of the day'thou shalt see my scars and know that I had my wounds and also my healings."

—Tagore's 《Stray Birds》


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User Profile: Bearainy
Bearainy OP August 24th, 2024

@Apeatrice

Hugs fr

I cares about you and I'm always going to be here when ever you needs me.

Sending strength and healing beams.

Apeatrice

1 reply
User Profile: Bearainy
Bearainy OP August 24th, 2024

@Apeatrice

I am powerful.

I am reborn.

I am in pain bu I'm changing

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User Profile: Bearainy
Bearainy OP August 26th, 2024

@Apeatrice

Hey fr. 

I love you, I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this.

I'm always gonna be here for you.

Apeatrice

1 reply
User Profile: Bearainy
Bearainy OP August 26th, 2024

I am determined.

I am not giving in.

I am moving forward

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User Profile: Bearainy
Bearainy OP August 26th, 2024

6/8/24


Dear Apeatrice;

I love you,sweetheart.

Thank you for being so brave through all those rains and storms. I'm so proud of you for staying clean for 1 day. I have faith that you can make your 2d day too.

You have been so strong, determined and hardworking, dear. No one can have done a better job than you have. 

Hugs

Apeatrice

I am resilient.

I am learning.

I am beloved and supported.

I am safe.

User Profile: Bearainy
Bearainy OP August 27th, 2024

@Apeatrice

Honey, I love you. I cares about you. I know that you are doubting about everything and that you feel lost and is looking for my scoring.

But, I have seen how much of a struggling you are in right now. So I just want to say, I love you, you are beautiful, strong and sweet and amazing and resilient, hardworking, have a kind heart, a strong determination and a strong sense of commitment.

And whatever you do, I will always respect your decisions.

Love

Apeatrice

User Profile: Bearainy
Bearainy OP August 27th, 2024

I am respected.

I am achieving.

I am standing.


User Profile: Bearainy
Bearainy OP August 31st, 2024

@Apeatrice

○12/6/24, 19/6/24, 3/7/24


 (ACT)

1.Acceptance



Acceptance involves acknowledging and embracing the full range of your thoughts and emotions rather than trying to avoid, deny, or alter them.

☆Aceept your feelings.

☆Accept yourself -limitations.

☆Accepted yout deficits - 

everyone has imperfectly.





2. Cognitive Defusion


Cognitive defusion involves distancing yourself from and changing the way you react to distressing thoughts and feelings, which will mitigate their harmful effects. Techniques for cognitive defusion include observing a thought without judgment, singing the thought, and labeling the automatic response that you have.

   ▪   Flashbacks; I am years old... Today is...I am safe.




3. Being Present


Being present involves being mindful in the present moment and observing your thoughts and feelings without judging them or trying to change them  experiencing events clearly and directly can help promote behavior change.

mindful (21/8/24)

Relax (breath in & out)

Clear your mind. 

Focus (body scan)

Accept feelings and sensations without judgments.

HB; massage Sitwa later about homework 


Controlling anxiety


1, grouding; touch to come back to present.

2, Reminding yourself that things may not really happen.






4. Self as Context


Self as context is an idea that expands the notion of self and identity; it purports that people are more than their thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Who am I?


  •  Acknowledging that I'm only human and should stop trying to become a "god".







5. Values

Values encompass choosing personal values in different domains and striving to live according to those principles. This stands in contrast to actions driven by the desire to avoid distress or adhere to other people’s expectations, for example.














6. Committed Action


Committed action involves taking concrete steps to incorporate changes that will align with your values and lead to positive change. This may involve goal setting, exposure to difficult thoughts or experiences)







◎Self Harm


◎(21/8/24)


Find alternative.

Can still talk about it even tho...





◎Sexual



Adults are entitled to make their own decisions, some use this entitlement wisely while others may not.


Teenagers are easily getting too involved in relationships, thats why ppl are so tense about it.





◎Self Harm


(28/8/24)


I can't find reason why I should fight anymore.


Why is sh a bad thing?


Should I make my own relapse plan? (What to do afterwards, who to talk to, what I shouldn't do, should I punish myself for it?)


What are the alternatives?




User Profile: Bearainy
Bearainy OP August 31st, 2024

@Apeatrice

Hey ape darling, thank you for your commitment to life. You are one of the most beautiful, beave and determined people I ever meta. Your courage shines and brighten up the darkest night. 

I love your smile, which chased away all of the pain.

Thank you for being you, honey.

I love you

Apeatrice

User Profile: Bearainy
Bearainy OP August 31st, 2024

Reasons why I'm happy.

1,Its a new month.

2, I still have 7 cups and my friends.

3, I'm listening to my favorite song.

😁

User Profile: Bearainy
Bearainy OP September 1st, 2024

Apeatrice

Hugs tight 

Thank you fo staying 5 days clean, honey. I'm so proud of you.

Thank you for giving everything a chance to make it up to you.

I love you.

Apeatrice

User Profile: Bearainy
Bearainy OP September 1st, 2024

I am happy because of the song I created.

I'm happy because I am stomachache free.

I am happy to be here; listening to music while its 6 am.