The only thing left is memories (Ape's diary, no peaking)
Tw; domestic, sexual abuse, PTSD, (possible Schizophrenia, DID) social anxiety, family stress.
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Hi buddies. Hugs for you all. This is my diary. No reply please. Love you.
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"When I stand before thee at the end of the day'thou shalt see my scars and know that I had my wounds and also my healings."
—Tagore's 《Stray Birds》
I'm happy for the morning dew.
I'm grateful to have peoplewho loves me.
I'm happy for the dewn of another day filled with possibilities.😃
I missed Sitwa so much. 😭
I don't know what to do (again) I feel hurting because my headaches and because, well, I have never been here before; all alone being on a super unfamiliar path.
It feels like I m about to be in tears again but my eyes are dry. Why am I emoing for having to suspend therapy session? Mom is all right, being dependent on anyone can cause so much pain.
So much pain when they leave.
I don't know what to do, or whether or not I should speak to anyone. Who should talk to anyway?
They rolled up my post, I hate this. I hate myself and I sort of want to relapse rn
Tw; self harm, past su attempt.a
I was in the hospital whrn I been told to pull up my long sleeves, the scars reflect the color of dark under the light. Almost like it had been marked by a pen. Now they knew...
There's someone screaming. Screaming like a psycho...
I so wish to join him...
Many of us didn't choose to go like that, yet maybe all of us wanna to scream. Scream at the top of our voice at the disappointment of life. While in my case, fastruation and pain.
Man don't reveal themselves in their past, we struggle our way through it. What ever the future may bring, I am ready.
Apes Diary
I'm back, and I'm alive, Sadly.
But maybe I can stand up and face my terrible day with courage since no matter what happens I will always come back.
Life is still there in front of me, I may be scared what may happen, I may feel stressed. But its all perfectly ok. I'm always going to make it through.
And no matter what happens, no matter how long the day may seems, how painful it is right now, how many times I have to be beaten, how may assault and insult I have to face; I 'm always being supported and beloved by my friends. If I ever again feel hopeless and beaten out of strength,let me find love and strength in their words and with their company.
I am phoenix, there is a fire in me that never can be put out.
I am the box jellyfish. When it is time for me to leave, I will always comes back, for I am recreated from the ashes of the past.
I am a dream chaser, my life has a purpose and I will do my out most to achieve and get there.
And I will always fight back. My life and dream should be treated with quality and respect.
I Matters
(abt two weeks ago in August)
@Apeatrice
Its midnight. I missed you sitwa, so much. I thought I can turn everything back to normal by getting enough sleep, getting a healthy diet and getting my studies done. I didn't succussed. The illusions still stick, the headaches never goes away, the urge to scream stays
Today is officially suc ide prevention day. Its alos my 14 day from my last attempt.
I thought ...i don't know what I was thinking
My eyes are all swollen and bloo dshed....
Been crying till 4am.
I lost my mind last night. Watched two movies and sobed abt 3 hours.
Apeatrice
I love you. I 'm here for you, I respect yourdecisions and judgments.
Hugs
Apeatrice
I'm happy its overcast and cold. They comforts me.
I'm grateful for haven't done anything extreme yesterday.
I'm grateful that I still have a choice
