2) Community Questions and Answers - The Basis of Mental Health Awareness and Support

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

Response: I’d like to approach this question through a few perspectives as there are a few ways to interpret this question, and you deserve a response that speaks to your circumstance. I’d like to start by sharing with you that many of us feel this way in our relationships— with family, friends, significant others and even in our work places and community. There are many possible reasons, from our past and/or within our present, why we may struggle with our self-esteem today and our self-disbelief can be incredibly self-sabotaging long-term.

We may count ourselves out from connecting with people to make new friends, or even find love, by feeling we’re not good enough. We also may not even bother applying for that great job that was just listed, or we may actively attempt to push people who care about us away, or avoid intimacy, or closeness, all-together.

One essential principle to know deeply in your heart is that you were never designed to be perfect. I’m sorry if anyone in your life has ever made you feel that this was the expectation— even if, and especially if, the person who imposed this on you was yourself out of your inherent need of survival, or to feel loved/safe. If perfection has ever been set as the expectation, we will always fall short as it’s unattainable which further validates our self-disbelief and frustrations. Abandoning an ingrained sense of perfectionism, or need to people please, can see resolve with time with the right supports and mindset/attitude. We can be told by our very best friend 1000x that we’re great and still not believe it— so considering therapeutic support is highly encouraged.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which you can receive through therapy, helps us identify and challenge our unhelpful thoughts because they lead our lives as they breathe life into our emotions, they influence our decision-making and behaviors, and have the power to reshape/validate our core beliefs. Core beliefs are deeply ingrained within us and have a way of framing our perspective, or placing a lens over the way we see ourselves in the world— which gives theme to our thoughts, hence the cycle. If we don’t challenge our unhelpful thoughts, there are a variety of ways someone may sabotage themselves— their potential peace, their potential success, and their potential joy.

With that said though, if the aforementioned insight doesn’t resonate with you most right now, and if you are feeling like you’re not good enough because someone else is suggesting that you aren’t, please know that you deserve better. The relationships in our lives can either sink us, keep us afloat, or teach us we can fly.

In life, we all need to hold ourselves accountable and remain honest in our self-reflections because, in all of our human imperfection, we will always have a need to learn and grow. We deserve healthy relationships — with others, absolutely — but also with ourselves. Rebuilding a sense of self-confidence requires our attention and effort, it also requires that we be humble enough to know we need (and deserve) support through any and all of it. Rebuilding our self-confidence can help us lead fulfilling lives— as knowing our true self-worth allows us to avoid relationships that do not nurture our Spirit and allows us to fully engage in the relationships that do, or could. I hope this was helpful at all. Take care! ♡

What do you do when you feel you're not good enough for someone?

This is a challenging feeling to deal with. Your feelings may be about a partner, your parents, a sibling, a friend, or even yourself. The first thing to remember is that you will never satisfy everyone's expectations. Ultimately, you have to decide what reasonable expectations you will have for yourself and then decide to let other external expectations go. If you really feel that you are failing your responsibilities toward someone (eg, a spouse), it's a good idea to actually bring that up with them. See what they say. They may not agree with that at all, in which case, your insecurities are more related to internal anxieties, and perhaps your personal history. Or they may agree, in which case both of you can work together to make a plan to let you better satisfy their expectations.

Thank you for asking this important and very valid question. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help. Rest assured that the feeling that you aren't good enough for others is not an uncommon thing for human beings to experience. The good news is, there are things you can do about it.

Firstly, feelings of inadequacy are often a sign of low self-esteem and self-worth which means that you don't view yourself as being worthy of love and support from other people. One strategy to improve low self-esteem and build up your self-confidence includes learning how to practice self-love and forgive yourself for your mistakes and perceived shortcomings. This can be accomplished by replacing negative self-talk with positive self-talk and affirmations. Examples of this include telling yourself phrases such as "I am worthy", "it's ok to make mistakes", and "I am not perfect but I'm a good person and I deserve great things". It may be hard to do at first because you may be so used to negative self-talk and to the dialogue of your inner critic but with practice, it becomes easier.

Another strategy to improve your self-worth and counter self-doubt is to recognize when you are comparing yourself to other people and to learn how to break that habit. A major cause of not feeling worthy enough for others is when you compare yourself to them and feel like they are better than you. In psychology, this is called social comparison theory. Looking at others' social media pages often creates a perfect opportunity for people to compare their own lives to other people's lives and to feel like their lives are boring or "less than" other people's. Limiting your time spent on social media and taking breaks from it can help to prevent you from comparing yourself to other people. So can recognizing your own strengths, achievements, and good qualities.

These are just a handful of many of the possible strategies to help you manage your feelings of unworthiness. I hope you have found this information helpful. I encourage you to do further research, whether that be on 7 cups or elsewhere to figure out what works best for you. Therapy can also be a good option if you are finding yourself overwhelmed by the struggle. Remember that you are an amazing person who is worthy of good things and healthy relationships.

Here are some resources that may be helpful:

https://medium.com/swlh/the-psychology-behind-never-feeling-good-enough-2ad963d16119

https://www.lifehack.org/833075/not-feeling-good-enough

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-social-comparison-process-2795872

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@SoulfullyAButterfly

Feeling like you are not good enough for someone is a true struggle. I think we need to remember that whether or not we are good enough for someone if they choose us, then they want us. Deserving something does not equate to getting it.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

What to Do When You Feel You Are Not Good Enough for Someone?

Feeling inadequate in a relationship is a common struggle, but there are steps you can take to address it. Firstly, remember that your self-worth isn't determined solely by others. Challenge negative self-talk and the inner critic by focusing on your strengths. Seek support from trusted friends, family members, or a therapist who can help you build self-confidence and self-love. Limit social media's influence and embrace real connections. Communicate openly with your partner, discussing your concerns and fears. Remember, the first step toward a healthy relationship is valuing yourself. Embrace personal growth, celebrate small victories, and remind yourself that you are an amazing person capable of great things. At the end of the day, prioritize your happiness and believe in the good things that lie ahead. Good luck on your journey!

Note - the idea is mine, Chat GPT made the text sound better

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

When feeling inadequate or not good enough for someone, remember that self-worth shouldn't rely on others. Focus on self-esteem and self-love, considering social media's distorted reality. As a first step, seeking therapy to address underlying issues and surrounding yourself with supportive loved ones could be helpful. Celebrate personal growth and challenge negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Communicate openly with partners, nurturing healthy relationships. Remember, your worth isn't defined by others. Embrace your uniqueness, invest in self-confidence, and believe in your abilities. You are capable of great things. Trust yourself, and may good luck accompany your journey toward self-acceptance.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

There can be many reasons why you feel you are not good enough for someone you care about like your partner, parent, or child. Social media can influence your self-confidence and self-esteem negatively as it allows you to create an unfair and unhealthy comparison between you and others. As others only post their best self in the media showing that they have earned their achievements without any hardship. One of the main reasons why you don’t feel good enough for someone is one’s own self-doubt. The inner critic of yourself can be very dangerous when drenched in negative self-talk as it would affect your relationships. Ultimately, we are all human beings who want to be accepted by our loved ones. With proper communication and self-love, you would be able to form healthy relationships with your loved ones.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Understanding why a person feels they aren't good enough is the first step towards removing self-doubt and increasing self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence. Because at the end of the day, all three are affected.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Answer: Its a quite normal to feel that you are not enough for your partner, parents or someone who is close to you. It may feel like you are not able to provide for the other person's needs. This can happen due to past experiences, social media influence or when we unknowingly hurt someone’s feelings. The best way to get rid of this feeling is to rejuvenate ourselves. Self-love is the key to healthy relationships. The best therapy can be spending time in nature. Always remember “What you seek is seeking you!”. So try to be the best possible version of yourself. Take advice from your family members as they are the only people who will stand with you in the worst times. At the end of the day, you need to communicate your problems to solve them.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

When people say they feel they are not good enough, this feeling is actually a thought. This thought we have usually sources from our inner critic which is cultivated as children by important figures, such as parents, other family members, and partners who voice out those thoughts. Social media also has an effect in that people have the tendency to post only their better versions of themselves, so this information tends to lead people to feel less self-love. This inner critic that human beings experience is actually what’s trying to protect oneself by motivating one to survive through that moment. At the same time, people may not reciprocate well with these thoughts and experience low self-esteem. The good news is that these thoughts are temporary and people can work through these thoughts by reminding themselves of their self-worth and maintain a healthy relationship with people around them. Great things come from challenges for as long as the person chooses the right thing to do for themselves. A good time to reach out for therapy is to not only identify past traumas that make it difficult to motivate oneself but also create effective communication skills within themselves and others. At the end of the day, each person will continue to experience these negative self-talks and self-doubt one’s own abilities. Nonetheless, human beings are capable of sitting through with these thoughts and create affirmations that help boost self-confidence and self-love. Goodluck!

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/lifting-the-veil-trauma/202103/when-we-dont-feel-good-enough?amp

https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-you-never-feel-good-enough