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sellistens
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Number of ratings48 Number of reviews44 Listens toOver 18 LanguagesEnglish Listener sinceJul 23, 2020 Last activein last month GenderFemale PathStep 175 People helped267 Chats641 Group support chats1 Listener group chats1 Forum posts106 Forum upvotes109
Bio

Hi! Welcome to my profile and 7 Cups!

My name is Sel! I am really passionate about helping others, especially people who have mental health conditions. I've wanted to help people for as long as I can remember. 

Even though I identify as a Catholic and have she/her pronouns, I am respectful of all cultures, religions and pronouns. I love to learn about these topics as well! This is a SAFE SPACE for everyone of all pronouns, sexual orientations, religions, and ethnicities! 

Honestly, I'm doing this because I genuinely care and I want to make a difference in people's lives. This is your sign to give it time. Life is always changing.



Unfortunately, I do not feel comfortable talking about sexual health and casual chats. There are many listeners who are though!

If you sent me a personal request and I'm busy, leave me a little message if you can and I'll get back to you!

If you are in a crisis, please call these numbers Canada: 833-456-4566 USA: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) (If you are in another country and these don't work, send me a personal request and ask for the number, I will do my research and give it to you). 

Recent forum posts
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Nice Questions
General Support / by sellistens
Last post
 October 29th
...See more What's one thing you're proud of yourself for? What are you grateful for?
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Listening to you!
Newbie Hub / by sellistens
Last post
 October 23rd
...See more Hey! I just wanted to say I'm online for a short period of time right now. (7:55am Oct 22). I want to connect with anyone who is struggling today. I want to have those deep conversations and work together to make you felt HEARD. I'm comfortable with talking about anything but sexual health. Please contact me or comment below! Love you all, Sel
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If you don't believe the phrase "It'll get better"....
Depression Support / by sellistens
Last post
 September 15th
...See more Please read this if you can relate to feeling alone and lost. I was thinking about change. It sounds scary but it can be a really good thing. Kind of like how one day I was driving and listening to an old song from 2022. Let me give you a heads up, at the end of 2022 I wasn't doing well. I felt like my life was over, I felt like I was going to be alone forever (relationship and friend wise), I didn't know what I wanted to do in my life and I simply felt lost. Fast forward to now, two to three years later, I'm doing really good actually. I have an amazing boyfriend, friends and I'm in school to be an Early Childhood Educator (who works in the daycares and schools). See how quickly things can change for the better? See how it's just a trick that depression gives you? Feeling like your in a tunnel with no light at the end of it is just a trick. Please, if your going through something right now, this is your sign that it really does get better. Stay strong, SellListens
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4 Ways To Cope With Depression
Depression Support / by sellistens
Last post
 February 4th
...See more      Depression is very hard to define because it's different for everybody but I do know that it's not just sadness, it's much deeper than that. It's a void, a feeling of emptiness. Coming from someone who has been through 4 non-functional depressions that lasted 4 months each, it's very hard to go through. Over the years, I have come to a lot of conclusions and found some tips that helped me get through those rough times and that is what I would like to share with you.  Here are tips that I've found helpful during a depression: 📍Journaling Realistic Positive Affirmations Depression causes a lot of us to lose our self confidence. Regular positive affirmations sometimes actually do the opposite of helping. If we don't believe what we are saying, then we might find ourselves feeling worse. This is why I underlined the word realistic! The affirmation must feel believable to you and have a positive spin to it. It's also important to explain why you believe it. I usually write down my positive affirmations and explain why in my journal. For example: 1. Instead of saying: I love myself (but you might not believe it right now) Say: I believe I am loved because my friend/family member believes in me. I am loved because my puppy loves me and gives me cuddles! I am loved because... 2. Instead of saying: I'm happy with where I am in life. (but you might not believe it right now) Say: I am working on improving my life by getting out of bed every day. I am working on improving my life because I am looking for a job. I am working on improving my life by prioritizing my mental health. I am working on improving myself because.... 3. Instead of saying: I love the way I look. (but you might not believe it right now) Say: I love my freckles because they look cute on me. I love my hair because it's flowy. I love ___ about my body because... Activity: Choose some positive affirmations below and explain why you believe it. You can find more online by looking up positive affirmations. You can modify them to your liking as well. You are free to share in the comments below. I would love to hear!  1. I am loved because... 2. I am just as capable as anyone else. I believe this because... 3. No matter what happens, life will go on and I will be okay. 4. I deserve happiness and I'm working towards it. This is how I'm doing that: 5. My feelings are valid. This is what I'm feeling... (approach non-judgmentally) 6. If I put in 20% effort when I only have 20% to give, that's 100%. I am proud of myself for giving it that much effort.  7. I am working towards learning more about myself and my struggles. Here's what I learned so far... 📍Medication     I know that it's a bit scary to try new medications and wonder about side effects but medication makes a huge difference in many people's lives. For me, getting rid of depression outweighs the side effects. The good news is that if you don't like the side effects a certain medication gives you, you can always talk to your doctor about changing to a different medication that might suit you better.      What I find with medication like anti depressants is that there isn't usually one miracle medication. They usually work in combinations, meaning 2 different medications work together to stop depression. You just have to find your own combination that works best for you. Activity: Talk to your doctor about different options you have in regards to medications. I know it's hard to reach out, but it's worth it! 📍Therapy/ Have someone to talk to This is very important because the feeling of being heard alleviates a lot of tension. There are a lot of listeners here on 7 Cups who are willing to talk if you cannot afford a therapist. Even confiding in a friend can help.  📍Patience This is a hard one. When I'm in a depression, it seems like there's no coming out of it. I promise you, there is a way out. It just requires patience and time for your work and the medication to kick in.  These are the tips that have helped me through my hard times. I hope they can work for you as well. PM me if you need or comment below what has helped.  Love you all, Sel  
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A Bipolar Guide and Ways to Cope
Bipolar, Schizophrenia & Psychosis Support / by sellistens
Last post
 September 25th, 2023
...See more A Bipolar Guide and Ways to Cope By @sellistens on 7 Cups.com Bipolar affects many people and there’s a lot of people that don’t know how to cope. According to the World Health Organization, “In 2019, 40 million people experienced bipolar disorder” https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/mental-disorders#:~:text=In%202019%2C%2040%20million%20people,with%20periods%20of%20manic%20symptoms [https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/mental-disorders#:~:text=In%202019%2C%2040%20million%20people,with%20periods%20of%20manic%20symptoms]. Therefore, there are many people who are going through bipolar throughout the world, so you’re not alone! Again, many people don’t know a lot of ways to cope with this diagnosis. No reason to worry because the ultimate bipolar guide is here to help! Whether you're reading this because you have a loved one with bipolar, you have it yourself, or you want to learn more about bipolar, this article strives to teach you what bipolar is and ways you can recognize and reduce symptoms. ------------------------- What is Bipolar Disorder? It is important that you know what bipolar disorder is before continuing on with this article. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, “Bipolar disorder (formerly called manic-depressive illness or manic depression) is a mental illness that causes unusual shifts in a person's mood, energy, activity levels, and concentration.” https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/bipolar-disorder#:~:text=Bipolar%20disorder%20 [https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/bipolar-disorder#:~:text=Bipolar%20disorder%20]. Therefore, bipolar disorder is a mood disorder, not a personality disorder. Bipolar disorder is a chemical imbalance in the brain. When someone experiences mania, the symptoms include: 🌟 racing thoughts 🌟 euphoria 🌟 fast speaking 🌟 risky decision making 🌟 restlessness (including being unable to sleep for long periods of time). The nerve cells in a person’s brain are flooded with hormones like dopamine when they experience mania. Bipolar I experiences full blown mania while bipolar II experiences a less intense version of mania, called hypomania. During depression, a person experiences: 🦋low mood 🦋tiredness 🦋sadness 🦋spiraling thoughts 🦋and sometimes even thoughts of self harm. In the brain, hormones such as dopamine are not being released so there’s not enough hormones for the nerve cells to function properly. ------------------------- Bipolar doesn’t discriminate, meaning anyone can get it. Even celebrities can. According to webmd.com https://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/ss/slideshow-celebrities-bipolar-disorder [https://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/ss/slideshow-celebrities-bipolar-disorder], some celebrities with bipolar include: 🎤Demi Lovato (singer): Bipolar 1 🎤Mariah Carey (singer): Bipolar 2 🎤Kurt Cobain (lead singer and guitarist of Nirvana): Bipolar (unknown type) 🎤Ted Turner (founder of CNN): Bipolar (unknown type) ------------------------- Ways To Cope: How to Stop Bipolar in its Tracks! In order to be diagnosed with bipolar disorder, you need to have experienced at least one episode of depression and one episode of mania. A very effective coping skill is for the person with bipolar and the support system to recognize their symptoms before another episode begins. 💡Activity💡 💡Think about the times where you’ve experienced mania or depression: 💡Write down what your triggers are. A trigger is something that happened in the past that caused mania or depression to happen. An example of a trigger would be a big life change. 💡Then, write down what your warning signs are. A warning sign is a symptom of mania or depression such as racing thoughts or consistent low mood. If you are experiencing warning signs and/or have also experienced a trigger, talk to your support system. We will be going over what a support system is in the next paragraph. ------------------------- Support Systems and Finding the Right Medication Combinations It’s very important to have the right support system. This includes family members, friends, a significant other, a psychiatrist, and a therapist. There is also a lot of support given here on 7 Cups such as talking with listeners, finding a therapist, and talking to our beautiful community. Medication is the first line of defense for stopping episodes in their tracks. If you haven’t found the right combination of medication, keep searching! Everyone reacts differently to medication so usually a combination of medications works best when handling bipolar disorder. 💡Activity💡 💡Write down the names of people you can trust. Examples include: psychiatrists, therapists, family members, friends, significant others, etc. Let them know about your warning signs and triggers. 💡Write down your medications and talk to your psychiatrist about them. Are there any medications that are not working well for you? Are you experiencing any symptoms from the medications that you don’t like? Are you experiencing any warning signs or had a trigger recently? ------------------------- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Cognitive behavioral therapy (also known as CBT) is used to explore thoughts which influence feelings, bodily sensations and behaviors. Here is a picture of what cognitive behavioral therapy looks like according to The Evidence Based Therapy Centre. https://www.ebtc.ie/cognitive-behavioural-therapy/cbt-diagram/ [https://www.ebtc.ie/cognitive-behavioural-therapy/cbt-diagram/] Cognitive behavioral therapy strives to help the person recognize the cycle and to break it. The only way to break the cycle is to change your thought process. Reframing thoughts is the best way to do this. 💡Activity💡 💡Write down a situation that triggered you. 💡What was your thought process when the situation occurred? 💡Did you have any physical sensations? (example: tightness in chest) 💡How did you react and behave in the situation? 💡How can you change your thoughts into something positive yet reasonable to you? ------------------------- Conclusion In conclusion, bipolar disorder is a mood disorder where the person goes through periods of depression and mania/hypomania. Figuring out what your triggers and warning signs are can be helpful when tracking your behaviors during these periods of depression and mania. Also, talking to your support system about these triggers and warning signs such as family members, friends or healthcare teams (psychiatrists and therapists) can be beneficial. Talking to your psychiatrist about medication combinations can significantly help stop episodes. Lastly, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be helpful when figuring out how your thought process affects your behaviors and reframing those thoughts is a good coping skill. Thank you for reading and I wish you all the best! ------------------------- 🧐Discussion🧐 🧐What was your favorite part about this article? Which coping skill do you find the most helpful? 💗 Feel free to respond to others (make sure you are being supportive and kind please) ------------------------- About the Writer : @sellistens Sel, also known as sellistens, is a dedicated listener on 7 Cups who has 3 years of experience and has a 5 star rating with over 30 positive reviews. Sel is a certified Personal Support Worker who takes an empathetic approach when working with residents and does the same when talking with members on 7 Cups. She is currently a Content Development and Marketing student and a Quality Listening student at 7 Cups Academy. Sel has a deep understanding of the importance of mental health, and strives to help anyone who comes in her path. @sellistens ------------------------- References World Health Organization Who.int https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/mental-disorders#:~:text=In%202019%2C%2040%20million%20people,with%20periods%20of%20manic%20symptoms [https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/mental-disorders#:~:text=In%202019%2C%2040%20million%20people,with%20periods%20of%20manic%20symptoms]. National Institute of Mental Health Nimh.nih.gov https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/bipolar-disorder#:~:text=Bipolar%20disorder%20 [https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/bipolar-disorder#:~:text=Bipolar%20disorder%20](formerly%20called%20manic,day%2Dto%2Dday%20tasks. Webmd Webmd.com https://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/ss/slideshow-celebrities-bipolar-disorder [https://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/ss/slideshow-celebrities-bipolar-disorder] The Evidence Based Therapy Centre Ebtc.ie https://www.ebtc.ie/cognitive-behavioural-therapy/cbt-diagram/ [https://www.ebtc.ie/cognitive-behavioural-therapy/cbt-diagram/]
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If I did not view mine or other's opinions as facts, what would I do?
Anxiety Support / by sellistens
Last post
 July 25th, 2023
...See more This question as honestly helped me through my anxiety attacks so I wanted to share❤️ We all have those critical thoughts in our heads. Most of us believe these thoughts as if it was our own and we believe them to be true. Therapists call them "automatic thoughts'' which, just to be clear, are overly critical thoughts that just pop into our heads. The truth is these thoughts are here because our brains are always trying to perfect ourselves. It's a survival tactic which sometimes turns into something that's counterproductive. It can be catastrophic for some. We need to realize that these thoughts are opinions, not facts. These opinions are not our souls speaking nor is it something that feeds the soul. Our brains are different from our souls/true self. Our brains are a part of our human body, our souls/true selves are separate from that. Our brains are constantly having an internal dialogue with our soul/true self. This is why certain things that are thought of are just automatic thoughts. They are just neural pathways that can be rewired through our conscious acts and by questioning the automatic thoughts. We are all human, therefore, we should not view others' opinions as facts either. Personally, I struggle with this one and need validation a lot. This is something I am working on. In fact, both quotes (the one above and the one I just mentioned) are equally as important and liberating when you really think about what you would do. Personally, I think I wouldn't care so much about what other people have to say (especially if it was negative). I might take into consideration, but I wouldn't take it so seriously. That goes the same with my automatic thoughts. I feel like I would be a much happier individual. I probably would change my fashion sense to something maybe a little more alternative and I wouldn't be so afraid to be out in busy public places. This question makes me feel better about doing these things. What would you do? Comment below if you are comfortable sharing!
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Coping Techniques and Resources From Me & The Community Part 1
General Support / by sellistens
Last post
 July 5th, 2023
...See more Coping Techniques and Resources From Me & The Community Part 1 Hi there, Today I wanted to share with you some of my coping techniques that I think are the most beneficial for me right now and I'll share some resources that have helped me. Before I start, I want to ask you to think of some resources/coping techniques that you know. Feel free to share it in this thread. You can also share one coping technique from me or someone in the community that you found helpful. #1 For Anxiety or Stress: Vagus Nerve Restimulation and Meditation The vagus nerve is responsible for controlling your "fight or flight" system which for some is the cause of anxiety. To restimulate it means that you are basically shocking it back to a neutral state. This is NOT painful and actually is quite relaxing. I suggest meditating first. First way to do it is to place your hand at the back of your neck and the other on the forehead. Lightly touch those two areas while meditating. The second way is to take cold showers. This helps because it is stimulating your vagus nerve in an environment that you know is safe. Another way is to pull on your ears because the vagus nerve runs through there. The last way I will show you is if you massage the sides of your neck because the vagus nerve is right underneath those muscles. If you would like to know more you can pm me or there is a lot of things on google that explains this technique. #2 For Depression: Savouring and Gratitude I have experienced both depression and anxiety in my life. I know how hard it is to do this when your depressed but trust me when I tell you getting up and ready for the day might be the hardest thing somedays but it is also the best thing for you. Do something small and just be in that moment. Journaling how it smells, looks, feels, hears is very beneficial too. Do this for at least 7 days (it doesn't have to be super consistently but its best if you try to. Dont get upset if you cant do a streak just be patient with yourself). Also, write three small things you did that day that your happy about or grateful for. This can help a lot. #3 For Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder: Mood Tracking I know this seems like a small thing, but it really does go a long way. Mood tracking can help you recognize the patterns in your mood to see if you are having manic symptoms or depression symptoms. This is also good for anyone who wants to see correlations in mood or to better understand what makes them happy. There is a tracker that I use called Mood Flow. It is a free app that let's you track your mood and write what happened in that day along with checking off possible symptoms you might think you're having. At the end of the month you can see how your mood changed through a line graph. Here's the link: https://www.moodflow.co/ A Resource: A Free Course (that rhymed) I also wanted to share with you a resource that has helped me. It is a free online Yale course called The Science Of Wellbeing. It has helped me find many many coping techniques. Here's the link: https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being?utm_medium=sem&utm_source=gg&utm_campaign=B2C_NAMER_the-science-of-well-being_yale_FTCOF_learn_country-US-country-CA&campaignid=9728548210&adgroupid=102459401907&device=c&keyword=yale%20the%20science%20of%20well%20being&matchtype=b&network=g&devicemodel=&adposition=&creativeid=433067297434&hide_mobile_promo&gclid=Cj0KCQjwho-lBhC_ARIsAMpgMoc4inTOLR7tU95ijy55vpP1nHoJ-iy7xLU6RVHSqSTdtLK6J4w6Rt8aAqM1EALw_wcB Questions For You: Which coping technique helped you the most? (Can be from the main thread or other people's comments). What are your go to coping mechanisms or resources?
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The Science Of Wellbeing Course
Depression Support / by sellistens
Last post
 July 26th, 2023
...See more Hi everyone, I just wanted to share this free online course by Yale University on Coursera called The Science of Wellbeing. I'm early on in the program and I've already learned so many things that we think will make us happy but won't, and so many things/techniques that will actually make us genuinely happy! 10/10 recommend and I'm sharing this here because I think it is an amazing resource for everyone especially people with depression, anxiety, trauma, OCD, schizophrenia or bipolar. Here's the link: https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being Thank you for reading, Sellistens
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Feedback & Reviews
Really helpful. So encouraging and a great listener.
Sal she's good, responsive and helpful.
Thanks for chatting.
Nice lady. She helped me by listening when I needed to talk.
I appreciated that this listener was thoughtful and wrote longer messages. I especially liked their intro message that was much more than just a ‘hi’!
Amazing listener and a person!
Amazing ideas!
Thank you for your kindness, appreciation as well as your understanding. It is indeed really much appreciated. Wishing you the best for this week.
Good
I enjoyed our chat
Really great listener. Very patient and gives good advices. She also ask for me to update her. Really kind. Thank you so much!
Compassionate and Empathetic for the first time I felt understood and comfortable
She does not judge you and will listen to what you have to say
Very honest and patient
Very helpful listener
she is kind
Great help! Everything that makes a good listiner !
She is honestly, such a kind and genuine individual who truly takes her time to really listen to you. Also, one of the best listeners on this platform. Thank you so much Sel :)
Very loving caring and honest
great listener, honestly very helpful!!
she is lovely and listens very well
Great listener. Gave me time and understood my problems enough for the problems to eventually go. Gives you her time and helps a lot
She is a good listener
Loved Sel! One of the easiest and sweetest person I talked with. She not only listened but asked great questions. Thank you for this opportunity and I would recommend talking with Sel! She is amazing!
They talked to me as well, filling the gaps where I was confused, so it felt a lot better than usual
Wonderful listener. Non judgmental and understanding. Helped me open up. Truly a beautiful human being.
Sweet and nice helpful lady
Great listener! Very friendly and understanding.
She is a very kind and experienced listener, makes me feel seen and understood.
She seems very caring person.
They were very kind and understanding, good listener ❤
loved it! awesome chat!
This listener is a true angel... She managed to transmute all my negative feelings and ideas into something positive. I would advise her to anyone feeling self-loathing.
Sel was amazing. I felt like she was listening to me. She really connected with me. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so seen in my life. She is full of compassion and empathy. Wonderful listener. More than overjoyed that she’s on this app. Don’t let her leave! She’s amazing ❤️❤️❤️❤️
An extraordinarily caring and helpful listener.
Comforting to speak to Sel! Feels like a friend and she is very understanding.
thank you for listening to me, I appreicate it
Really good listener
Very helpful and kind in helping you to make things better, providing so much resources you could use to make yourself more calm and relax.
Sel listened attentively, was very friendly outgoing and related to my struggles, I highly recommend!
Great listener, had lots in common!
She was very helpful
Really easy to speak to. Feels so better after tslking
Patiently listened to me.
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