Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Answer: When you feel you are not good enough for someone, it can be hard to tell where those feelings are coming from. Some questions you might ask yourself are "Why do I feel I'm not good enough?" "Where is this feeling coming from? Who is this feeling coming from?"

Sometimes the root of your insecurities comes from within yourself, maybe something from your past is holding you back. If you're wanting to maintain a relationship with the other person, you might consider talking to them about your doubts (and where they might be coming from). If they're right for you, I would hope for them to respond in a caring manner.

Are you feeling you're not enough because of the other person's actions? If so, you could consider again communicating these feelings. However, if they haven't been responding well... how do you think your life would change without them in it? In a positive or negative way?

This is a really hard thing to be feeling with someone close to you, but I believe in our ability to persist!

@VioletFields003

Hi there!

Some strengths I found in your response were:

1. How you addressed the issue properly and in a general form

2. The way you offered some insight (giving some reason as to why they may feel like this), and offering tips that allow them to reflect on their own thoughts

3. You showed empathy throughout and your answer was concise

A tip from me would be to utilize SEO key words so that a key/bigger audience is reached. Other than that, you're doing great!

Oftentimes one might feel like we aren’t being good enough for someone. What does it mean exactly? Well, it can differ for each individual. For example, you may feel like you don’t deserve the support or care you’re shown by your parents, partners, family members, or even your children (as a parent). This usually stems from your own low self-esteem/self-worth, usually relating to how you might be setting up walls and boundaries prior to a relationship or during one; or perhaps because throughout your whole life others made you feel like you weren’t enough.

It’s completely okay to have some anxious thoughts, we’re all just human beings after all. Although, if these anxious thoughts begin to turn into self-doubt, you’re bound to develop an inner-critic and fall into an endless loop of negative self-talk.

Good news is, you’re not alone in this. We’re all here to give you support and guide you through this tough time. The cycle of challenges doesn't have to continue forever, like anything else in life.

The first step is taking care of yourself. Some may say you'd “have to be selfish with yourself”, implying that we should focus on what’s important to us and place our energy there instead of hearing that little voice constantly undermining us. Instead, it’s time to look for the real reason you don’t feel good enough; to do some self analysis and slowly begin to develop a healthy relationship with yourself.

It would be best to begin by acknowledging this issue, which you have now done. Congrats!

Remember, communication is key. So thank you for having the courage to ask questions like these. Please don’t ever feel afraid to reach out, do some research of your own regarding how you could be a better person, seeking therapy, or finding some self-confidence. These are all great things to do and will certainly help you feel like an amazing person as time passes by.

At the end of the day, it takes courage and time to reach goals. It’s okay to start with small goals to reach, and it’s completely normal for you to struggle at first. Just know that no matter what you propose to yourself, you can do it. We care for you, and believe in you.

@YourInfjFriend

@YourInfjFriend

Hi INFJ Friend, I like the suggestions you put forward here. You really take the questioner on a journey through different ways of thinking about this, and have good suggestions along the way. If you want to make it even better, you can add a link about this topic or a related topic, which the reader can follow for further reading.

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

My Answer: "First and foremost, before I answer your question I want to assure you that you are enough! Read that again: you are enough. With that said, it is normal to sometimes feel like we are not good enough for someone and the reasons for feeling that way vary from one person to the next. For some it may stem from low self-esteem, for another it may be because they have been knocked down and torn down time after time from someone.... or it may even be because of your own inadequacies. Perhaps you are depressed? Whatever your reason is for feeling this way, I do not know, but what I do know is that you are a beautiful and amazing person and you are more than enough. I am sorry you were made to feel that you were not. Please know that you are valuable. You are deserving of love and respect. You are worthy of all good things in life and you are enough!"

@YourCaringConfidant

The three strengths I'd like to highlight are:

a) your strong opening sentence which draws the reader in

b) your highly empathetic tone throughout the answer

c) your answer is a comfortable read, not too long nor too short

A tip I'd like to give you is to utilize more keywords in your answer

You seem like a genuinely nice and empathetic person. I'm glad to have you as a course mate.

ivorySea989

@ivorySea989 Awww, you are so sweet. ♡ Thank you!

@YourCaringConfidant

it was empathetic , proffesional all the way and you were able to connect with the person even without the use of much keywords

tip: it could be better if you can give an activity or something that the person can apply in his or her life to improve his/her circumstances.

@Skansly Thanks for your feedback.

@YourCaringConfidant

Strengths:

1. You were empathic

2. You made the questioner feel like they are worth it and was a easy to read answer.

3. You wrote the answer like you would say it, and that's comforting.

Improvements:

Maybe add just a few more keywords, other than that - great answer!

@YourCaringConfidant

(+) Your opening line was so beautiful. (+) This felt like it was written by somebody who really cares. (+) I really appreciated how concise it was/ short & sweet.

(-) Constructive feedback: With Q&A, it’s so tough because you don’t actually know who you’re speaking with and this one was tough because your response was so great. If I could highlight one potential area for consideration, it would be “but what I do know is that you are a beautiful and amazing..” this part here was so wonderful and definitely something we all need to hear. But I’m wondering if this would be hard, or as meaningful, to receive from someone you knew was responding to an anonymous several-worded sentence, who never had a chance to meet you flaws and all. An example of what I mean and how I personally may phrase it would be, “I hope all of the ways in which you are beautiful and amazing are revealed to you as you heal. You are more than enough. I am sorry you were ever made to feel you were not.” Again, an example and not an approve script by any means, and please know you are welcome to disagree/challenge this feedback in any way. In grey were your words that I wanted to include for conversation flow because you truly gave a great response. ♡ Your ability and desire to support others in their difficult and dark moments is completely evident— our members here are fortunate.

@zaatarHoney Omg, thank you so much for feedback! It was so kind and thoughtful. I truly appreciate it! ♡

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day.

The good news is that you are not alone. All of us at some point in our lives have felt this way. The real reason and answer as to why you are feeling this way can only come from within you. Perhaps you need to step back and evaluate why and where these feelings are stemming from. What event, person or situation is making you feel this way?

People who you choose to surround yourself with, in your daily life, play a great role in inculcating your self-worth and self-esteem. It could be your parents, partner, your children or other family members. Human beings are social animals. Developing healthy relationships is key to promoting self-love and self-confidence. Communication and voicing your thoughts and opinions are the best way to move forward in cultivating such relationships.

Sometimes it is your own inner critic which brings you down by negative self-talk. Positive affirmations and surrounding yourself with positive people might help you if you are struggling with such negative thoughts.

These days social media also plays a significant role in creating self-doubt and feelings of low self-esteem. Take time out for yourself and indulge in some self-love activities such as meditation, yoga, therapy or just simply take a break from your daily routine and have a good time.

I am glad you took the first step by asking this question. Remember at the end of the day, you are an amazing person and you have your whole life ahead of you to look forward to great things and accomplishments. Good luck!

If you require any more information, I would like to guide you to our amazing resources on 7cups. Do not hesitate to contact us again if you have any other query.

@ivorySea989 A round of applause for you because you did that! 👏 Loved your answer! ♡

@ivorySea989

Hey I loved your answer overall ! Very well written as well as very thoughtfully written. Your answer sounded very professional, empathetic and you also included as many keywords as you could. And if I were to suggest you a tip on improving your answer, it is that you exceeded the word limit of 100 words. So maybe you can try shortening your answer content a little bit. But very well written answer overall! good job!!

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

we being human beings , its normal for us to feel like we are not able to be the person we want to be in front of our partner , parents , friends or siblings . And the first step we take is to doubt our beliefs , by negative self talk . but we forget that even though not many great things might be happening right now but still realising that you need help , marks your journey of becoming a better person .

At the End of the day, when you might be feeling that you are not enough for someone , you will need to communicate with your loved one or the one you are concerned about to get the information, if its really something you accept that is required to be changed to be a better version of yourself , you might try to build your self -esteem by doing small changes to your life, that helps you feel good. And that itself help you to attain self love for yourself.

and after you have attained self love , the feeling/void to be not good for someone wont matter .

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Firstly, I want to thank you for reaching out and asking this question. It's hard to feel self-love and have self-confidence. We all listen to the small voice that is communicating with us in our mind which usually gives us negative self-talk and fills us with self-doubt. We can be our own worse inner critic, which can give us low self-esteem. I can assure you that you are enough. One good tip I'd suggest is using social media and finding things that made you feel happy and make you feel like an amazing person that you are. The first step is to realise that you are good enough for someone, the best way to do this is surround yourself with your friends and family members or any healthy relationships that you have because this will help you with your relationship with yourself. At the end of the day, you are valued and more than enough, we all just need o learn our self-worth and there is no one way about doing this, we are all different. You are worth it and you always will be - you are now and forevermore enough ❤️

@Raspberrycheesecake Hello! Here are the 3 strengths I found in your post:

1. I love the way you thank the questioner for reaching out. It's a great way to show that you're here to listen.

2. Your tips are just suggestions, which is good!

3. The last sentence felt warm and spoke to me pretty well.

Some tips from me would be, to try to use more keywords and explore more on how you can communicate some tough news like "it's hard to feel self-love and self-confidence. We all listen to ... which can give us low self-esteem." I'm still learning more about this as well, but you can put some assurance in between the tough news, that you're here to listen and give step-by-step advice so that it won't be too negative. By doing so, the readers won't be slumped and thought that it's an impossible thing to do. You can also add some sentences in between that can show them that we're in this together and you're here to support them. Good luck!❤️

Heya @kindEyes9789, thank you for your feedback! ❤️

@Raspberrycheesecake

I admire your creativity, empathy, and great writing skills. Maybe you should add more research on this.

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day.

You are always enough, remember that. You will always be enough just the way you are. Sometimes, the things we see on social media or from all the people around us can make us feel like we're not doing enough. But the truth is, we are always enough, you and I, we're enough. Even the simple thing that you're reaching out to me and to us for asking this question is enough. Thank you so much for reaching out and taking the first step to being a better person.

It's totally okay if you're feeling that you're not good enough for someone. It can affect your relationships with your partner, family members, your parents, your children, or yourself. We're all human beings after all. I would like to assure you to please, don't let the negative self-talk, self-doubt, and inner critic consume you or affect your self-esteem. If those feelings arise, remind yourself of all the little good things that you've done. Thank you for waking up today, thank you for reading my message, and thank you for trying your best.

If you need help to work out through this feeling and learn self-love and self-confidence, therapy can be a great help. A therapist can help you to identify and address any underlying issues, the real reason for your feelings, or anything that can help you feel better. It can also bring some great information or insights for your whole life.

At the end of the day, the best way to overcome the feeling of not being good enough for someone is to focus on yourself. Enjoy yourself for all the good times in life. Surround yourself with your loved ones or people who support and encourage you. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship. You don't need to force yourself to open up, it's totally okay. Just remember to reach out. A simple how's your day, sharing some good news, funny memes, and funny videos will always be a pleasure.

You are enough and you are an amazing person just the way you are. Know that all the great things and good luck will come your way. You don't need someone else to validate your self-worth. The voice you will hear the most is your own. So make sure it's saying the right thing - that you are worthy, capable, and deserving of love and happiness. With time, patience, and self-love, you can overcome this feeling. I hope the best of luck to you!

@kindEyes9789

Your text gives the impression of a compassionate person behind it. Your advice are only suggestions, and that is good. Used all of the keywords. I have no suggestions, but here is one, because I have to name one. Maybe your text should be shorter.

Here is mine

Negative life experiences and emotions make us practice negative self-talk, as they don’t give us room for healthy self-love. Children often think of themselves as “bad” if they do something wrong in the eyes of their parents and friends. Social media makes us think that everyone has a better life than we do, and it is making us become our worst inner critics.

The first step to working on these feelings is to try to observe them as a separate part from ourselves, with the help of therapy if necessary, and that is good news! Your sense of self-esteem and self-worth can improve. You can find out the real reason for these feelings you have had your whole life. You can better communicate with your family members, friends, and your partner as well.There is hope, there are many possibilities to archieve all of this.

Remember, you are an amazing person, and we are all human beings who can achieve great things at the end of the day! You can gain self-confidence with the right information and become a voice for others in a similar situation by becoming a better person. Good luck!

@JusticiaPrimalDorogo

Hi Justicia, I really like this answer. I think you nailed it.

-Walkalot, 7cups CDM Mentor

@kindEyes9789

Hi KindEyes, this is good. You are really showing compassion and providing some good ideas. If it were me, I would probably make it a bit shorter. This gives the other person some time to respond, at which point, you could further elaborate. But overall, very good.

- Walkalot, CDM mentor

@kindEyes9789

You have answered the question amazingly! I love the use of key words and how well you explained it!

Bunny

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

Answer:

Often, its tough to feel like we are good enough or to feel like we deserve happiness and love. Sometimes when we are going through a tough time we can often find ourselves stuck in a situation and this causes low self esteem, negative self talk, self doubt. Sometimes it can be our personal problems affecting how we think of ourselves. We all struggle in life. And that is valid and okay. Its hard to view ourselves in a positive way, hard to see ourselves the same way anyone else does. It can also just be our natural feeling and state of mind that makes us feel this way.

We are our own self critic, we often find that our mind is convincing us we are not good enough. But our family, friends, members, peers, partners.. So many people are there to help you. To be there for you. Just talking about it can help us. Learn. Grow. Get Strong. And I know its tough, but drawing on the people around you is okay. Thats exactly what they are there for. And we may feel alone, feel like no one is there, but someone is always thinking about you, someone is always there for you. Even when we dont feel like it.

Self love is a process. It takes time. Like they say "Love yourself first, because that's who you willl spend the rest of your life with". You are who you are meant to be. You are amazing just the way you are. You can be who you want to be, not what others want or tell you to be. You have a voice. Your voice matters. Its difficult to sit in a positive mindset when we are stuck in our minds with self doubt, but I am sure that you will find your way through it. Its a healing process. To find ourselves.

At the end of the day, you only have yourself. And you. No one can change that. We are human beings. We are not perfect. We are perfectly imperfect. This time will pass, one day and I am sure one day you will realise , you will find inner strength and self confidence. Believe in yourself.

“You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”

― Max Ehrmann, Desiderata: A Poem for a Way of Life

Bunny

@amiableBunny4016

Hi Bunny, I'm sure this answer will be very encouraging for someone. I can see that you have a caring and loving heart.

Walkalot, 7cups CDM mentor.

@amiableBunny4016 Your response is hopeful, encouraging, and easy to digest. There is a great degree of empathy and validation for the reader. Great job! I like the quote that you put at the end of your post.

A suggestion for you would be to add another external resource to your response.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

Response: I’d like to approach this question through a few perspectives as there are a few ways to interpret this question, and you deserve a response that speaks to your circumstance. I’d like to start by sharing with you that many of us feel this way in our relationships— with family, friends, significant others and even in our work places and community. There are many possible reasons, from our past and/or within our present, why we may struggle with our self-esteem today and our self-disbelief can be incredibly self-sabotaging long-term.

We may count ourselves out from connecting with people to make new friends, or even find love, by feeling we’re not good enough. We also may not even bother applying for that great job that was just listed, or we may actively attempt to push people who care about us away, or avoid intimacy, or closeness, all-together.

One essential principle to know deeply in your heart is that you were never designed to be perfect. I’m sorry if anyone in your life has ever made you feel that this was the expectation— even if, and especially if, the person who imposed this on you was yourself out of your inherent need of survival, or to feel loved/safe. If perfection has ever been set as the expectation, we will always fall short as it’s unattainable which further validates our self-disbelief and frustrations. Abandoning an ingrained sense of perfectionism, or need to people please, can see resolve with time with the right supports and mindset/attitude. We can be told by our very best friend 1000x that we’re great and still not believe it— so considering therapeutic support is highly encouraged.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which you can receive through therapy, helps us identify and challenge our unhelpful thoughts because they lead our lives as they breathe life into our emotions, they influence our decision-making and behaviors, and have the power to reshape/validate our core beliefs. Core beliefs are deeply ingrained within us and have a way of framing our perspective, or placing a lens over the way we see ourselves in the world— which gives theme to our thoughts, hence the cycle. If we don’t challenge our unhelpful thoughts, there are a variety of ways someone may sabotage themselves— their potential peace, their potential success, and their potential joy.

With that said though, if the aforementioned insight doesn’t resonate with you most right now, and if you are feeling like you’re not good enough because someone else is suggesting that you aren’t, please know that you deserve better. The relationships in our lives can either sink us, keep us afloat, or teach us we can fly.

In life, we all need to hold ourselves accountable and remain honest in our self-reflections because, in all of our human imperfection, we will always have a need to learn and grow. We deserve healthy relationships — with others, absolutely — but also with ourselves. Rebuilding a sense of self-confidence requires our attention and effort, it also requires that we be humble enough to know we need (and deserve) support through any and all of it. Rebuilding our self-confidence can help us lead fulfilling lives— as knowing our true self-worth allows us to avoid relationships that do not nurture our Spirit and allows us to fully engage in the relationships that do, or could. I hope this was helpful at all. Take care! ♡

All those words and I coulda definitely incorporated more keywords, lmbo! Ope. I got lost in the response— before I got halfway through I had to remind myself this wasn’t actually do someone inquiring, and then again a couple more times. I know how I’d fit more in there without making it longer though. Here’s to imperfections and learning lessons~*~* ᵕ̈ eesh.

@zaatarHoney

Hi Zaatar. This is good. A lot of useful information here. I can't help but feeling it's a bit long, though. Not sure if I'm typical, but I tend to zone out on such a long post to a forum. I think in our question section, it might be the same. Narrow it down to two or three key suggestions, and if necessary, link to an article with further ideas. This will put more focus and power into your post.

All in all, good job. Keep up the good work.

Walkalot, 7cups CDM Mentor

@walkalot

Totally agree. <3 It's so tough when it's ambiguous-- I'm so neurodivergent, lol! My brain goes toward all the possibilities. But I definitely agree wholeheartedly. Ty for your feedback.

@zaatarHoney

Yeah, no problem. Not a big deal. Just something to keep in mind.

@zaatarHoney I am neurodivergent too and it made so much sense to me 😊

@VinylFly, Ty!! 🥹💗 #Unite hehe

@zaatarHoney This is a very well-thought-out and compassionate response. You empathized well with the reader and provided many different examples for them to relate to. I also liked how you mentioned CBT and its potential benefits in helping the reader with their particular problem. It's clear to me that you are very knowledgeable and have researched the topic well 😊

One potential suggestion I have for you is to provide some links to external sources for the reader to learn more and do their own research.

@VinylFly

I really appreciate this advice, thank you! Next time, I'll condense my response and make sure I do research so I can provide them with additional resources to continue learning on their own too. <3

What do you do when you feel you're not good enough for someone?

This is a challenging feeling to deal with. Your feelings may be about a partner, your parents, a sibling, a friend, or even yourself. The first thing to remember is that you will never satisfy everyone's expectations. Ultimately, you have to decide what reasonable expectations you will have for yourself and then decide to let other external expectations go. If you really feel that you are failing your responsibilities toward someone (eg, a spouse), it's a good idea to actually bring that up with them. See what they say. They may not agree with that at all, in which case, your insecurities are more related to internal anxieties, and perhaps your personal history. Or they may agree, in which case both of you can work together to make a plan to let you better satisfy their expectations.

Thank you for asking this important and very valid question. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help. Rest assured that the feeling that you aren't good enough for others is not an uncommon thing for human beings to experience. The good news is, there are things you can do about it.

Firstly, feelings of inadequacy are often a sign of low self-esteem and self-worth which means that you don't view yourself as being worthy of love and support from other people. One strategy to improve low self-esteem and build up your self-confidence includes learning how to practice self-love and forgive yourself for your mistakes and perceived shortcomings. This can be accomplished by replacing negative self-talk with positive self-talk and affirmations. Examples of this include telling yourself phrases such as "I am worthy", "it's ok to make mistakes", and "I am not perfect but I'm a good person and I deserve great things". It may be hard to do at first because you may be so used to negative self-talk and to the dialogue of your inner critic but with practice, it becomes easier.

Another strategy to improve your self-worth and counter self-doubt is to recognize when you are comparing yourself to other people and to learn how to break that habit. A major cause of not feeling worthy enough for others is when you compare yourself to them and feel like they are better than you. In psychology, this is called social comparison theory. Looking at others' social media pages often creates a perfect opportunity for people to compare their own lives to other people's lives and to feel like their lives are boring or "less than" other people's. Limiting your time spent on social media and taking breaks from it can help to prevent you from comparing yourself to other people. So can recognizing your own strengths, achievements, and good qualities.

These are just a handful of many of the possible strategies to help you manage your feelings of unworthiness. I hope you have found this information helpful. I encourage you to do further research, whether that be on 7 cups or elsewhere to figure out what works best for you. Therapy can also be a good option if you are finding yourself overwhelmed by the struggle. Remember that you are an amazing person who is worthy of good things and healthy relationships.

Here are some resources that may be helpful:

https://medium.com/swlh/the-psychology-behind-never-feeling-good-enough-2ad963d16119

https://www.lifehack.org/833075/not-feeling-good-enough

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-social-comparison-process-2795872

Keywords: 14/30

Word count: 422

Sentences: 21