2) Community Questions and Answers - The Basis of Mental Health Awareness and Support

Hey @EmpathyShoulder1904,

This is a great effort! Here are the 3 strengths I recognised in your answer,
1. You have tried to incorporate a good number of keywords.
2. You have more than 8 sentences in your answer, which together with the above strength help your answer be optimised for the question!
3. You have shown empathy as well as suggested possible solutions.

My tip for you would be to not start off by talking about yourself. As this is a question asked by someone doubting their self-worth, it would be best to start by validating their emotions.

Good luck!

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

Ans:

Feelings of lowered self-worth can arise due to different reasons. Children of parents that are over-involved or controlling of their child, or have their own self-esteem issues, for example, can pass on these compromised feelings of self-worth.

Another situation that leads to decreased self-confidence could also be social media. In this digital age, it has become common to show an unrealistic lifestyle. As human beings, we go through good times and bad times. However, many individuals on social media tend to only show the good side of their life, whether that is the reality or not.

If you are feeling you aren’t good enough for someone, the first step would be to understand the underlying reasons for it. Is your inner critic causing you to indulge in negative self-talk? Have you struggled your whole life to have a healthy relationship with your family members?

Asking yourself what the true reason is, might help you steer in the right direction.

Question Response

There may be many examples when we do not consider ourselves to be good enough for someone. As human beings we have many roles as parents, partners, employees or bosses, regardless of the role, feelings of not enough can overtake us and effect our confidence.

Not feeling good for someone has a lot to do with the self esteem, how you were brought up, trained and taken care of contributes to the level of confidence you would have as adults. Understanding yourself and being overly aware of your values helps build up your self esteem. You are unique and amazing as an individual, acknowledging and accepting that fact helps in the best possible way to work on yourself and not trying to compare you with others.

The first step to identify your esteem has been completely diminished or there's no iota of self worth is to be aware of what and how you feel, therapy has proven to be extremely helpful when highlighting certain tendencies that may have influenced the esteem to a large extent. Social media, friends and so on can affect an individual's self esteem. Discarding the negative self talk and working on the inner critic helps you to relax and be a better person, have healthy relationships, know your worth, have great communication and enjoy your whole life at the end of the day.

You are so more than enough.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

3 strengths :
i) The post was informative and helpful
ii) It provides a detailed knowledge on various mental health concerns and the advices one can provide regarding that thus enabling the person to widen his ideas and learn a lot more.
iii)The introduction of keywords is just awesome as it'll often make it easier for people to focus on the main points so that they don't miss out on them whilw volunteering in this area.

1 Improvement :
It would have been great if links of the accounts of some successful CDM trainees or the negative side of volunteering in this area was portrayed so that people will become aware not to make those set of mistakes.

@PhoenixTears5972

Good idea giving feedback to the teachers.

I just wanted you to know that you are required to find 3 strengths and provide feedback to one of the student answers in the reply section

All the best!

Question- What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Answer- Whenever anything goes wrong, be it the relationship with your friends, family members or partner, we often tend to question ourselves and our inner critics only pick out our flaws and put them in front of us.

Often, in the middle of this pressure, we seem to forget the ways in which we are unique and how it makes us different from everyone.

But the question that arises is how do you help yourselves in such terrible situations where you build up a lot of self doubt and your self-esteem considerably lowers?

1. Don't always believe what you think!

I know this sounds a little cruel but our minds also welcome intrusive thoughts. Thoughts which do not nothing but make you doubt yourself. The ones that start with "What if I was pretty like them" and ends with you forcing yourself to question yourself. It hampers with all the self love you hold for yourself. Whenever such thoughts enter your mind, walk to a mirror and look at yourself. Stare at your reflection and tell yourself that you are enough and you're unique in your own ways and if someone doesn't accept you the way you are, then it is never your fault.

2. You need to allow yourself to love and care for the parts of you when you feel like you least deserve it.

In state of anger, shame, regret or anxiety, we often tend to tell ourselves that we do not deserve empathy and love. You need to accept all version of yourself, even when you feel like you don't deserve forgiveness, try to forgive yourself. We all are bound to make mistakes because we arent perfect. Be real to yourself and to others around you. Your real self matters more than being perfect.

3. You can't hate your way into loving yourself.

Belittling yourself won't make you the best version of yourself. You can't tell yourself that you are a failure in hopes that you'll be successful. Telling yourself that you can never healthy relationship won't make you have any. Negative self talk with yourself and allowing your inner critic to lower your self-confidence won't make you a better version of yourself. I know this sounds weird but the first step to becoming a better version is to love yourself. Even when you want to change, you need to love yourself, all parts of you and all versions of you.

At the end of the day, you need to hold onto the fact you are enough the way you are. That loving yourself and choosing you is the right thing to do. That self love will pave your way to always being a better version of yourself.

@resourcefulLemon3237

Task: You are required to reply to at least one other student's answer by identifying at least 3 strengths (things done correctly as per discussed guidelines) as well as at least 1 tip for improving the answer)

Strengths

Firstly, one of the things I noticed straight away was that you answered with more than eight sentences, which is great because it shows that you’ve spent time on the answer instead of rushing away.

I liked that you split your answers into sections, clearly stating which section they were with a number and almost like a subject line before going deep into your answers, that was very well done. I enjoyed that and half wished I did that for my own answer ha!

You used a lot of the provided keywords, but you used them correctly, they weren’t just slapped in for the sake of it, each keyword looked like it belonged there, and most importantly you weren’t being judgmental against the person asking question.

Improvements

I think I needed to do it myself after looking at other people's work but it would be good to have a source to back up what we’re saying so that we can show what we are saying is correct.

All the best

Frenchie

○ Quality Mentor ○ Forum Supporter ○ Listener Coach ○ Peer Support ○ Project Agent

Tagging my internship twin: @CosmicMiracle <3

@resourcefulLemon3237 @SoulfullyAButterfly

Complements: 1. I loved the introduction part here which already contains 4 keywords.

2. I like how it focuses on the way how negative self-talk, or self - doubts works and what things usually make us feel. And the process of how an intrusive thought works.

3. It provides a nice detailed way to help yourself in that situation with clear numbering on the side and now it makes me insecure about mine.

Constructive Criticism: there are some spaces where some words are missing, such as in the 1st situation about not believing your thoughts, the sentence "Thoughts which do not nothing but make you doubt yourself." Another approach to this sentence would look like this: "Thoughts that don't do anything rather than making you doubt yourself." In the introduction question part, it'd be better to use: "how to help yourself", instead of " how do you help yourselves". For better clarity in the tones.

P.s. I could write about how great this article is and the strengths here for more than 3 points.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

 Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

The inner critic can do awful things to the mind, it gives a negative voice that latches onto any negativity you can find and, in this case, feeling like you are not good enough for someone can start off as a mild inconvenience, but then snowballs into something larger than reality.

The first step would be to breathe, we are always worried if we are doing the right things for our children and partner. Switch off the social media and focus on your social circle, look at who has been your cheerleader since day one and think of reasons why they are still there for you. You have a lot of value and sometimes the self-doubt can play tricks on your mind and makes you think you’re not good enough.

Another thing you could consider is attending therapy to explore where the low confidence comes from, oftentimes it is parents who (possibly through no fault of their own) caused you to feel this way, perhaps they were extra tough on you during your childhood.

All in all, you’re an amazing person and you have your whole life to look forward to. You did the right thing by coming on here and opening yourself up to this community. Good luck with your future!

All the best

Frenchie

○ Quality Mentor ○ Forum Supporter ○ Listener Coach ○ Peer Support ○ Project Agent

Tagging my internship twin: @CosmicMiracle <3

@FrenchMarbles Awesome job frenchie!

Here is my feedback on this,

strengths:

You included keywords, which will help with search engine optimization (SEO)

You were kind and validating of their feelings.

You gave helpful tips, and were encouraging.

things to improve on:

I think it's important not to assume their situation. Using the words 'child' and 'partner' may not be helpful for a person who has none of those things.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Our worth as parents, a partner, children, or family members, sometimes even as human beings in general, is usually taken from how society perceives us. These past few years, because of the recent pandemic, our self-esteem, self-worth, and self-love have mostly been defined by what we see on social media. Whatever good news there is drowns in the sea of the bad.

Three great things I’ve learned through the years:

Never compare. Never complain. Never blame.

Or at least try to avoid it. This is the root of why our inner critics go on overdrive whenever we feel like someone doesn’t appreciate us the way we deserve.

Try not to compare. As mentioned in my favorite poem “Desiderata” by Max Ehrmann, “If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.”

Try not to complain. There will always be other people who have it worse. It’s not to invalidate your struggles, it’s to shift your focus to all the things you have despite the problems.

And try not to blame. We never know what leads people to decide how they treat you or make you feel. Remember that it doesn’t reflect you; it reflects on them as humans.

The best way, the first step, is to anchor yourself and know who you are. Avoid negative self-talk and when you have self-doubt, make sure to listen to your inner voice. The one that always helps your self-confidence and points you to always do the right thing and go for a healthy relationship with yourself.

Others’ opinion of you doesn’t have to become your reality. :)

@SoulfullyAButterfly

My answer:

I have good news for you. Every human being is unique. A product of their experiences and the way they responded to those experiences. So, first step could be realising this amazing fact. The person you might be trying to be “good enough” for is unique as well and has their own perception of “good”, based on their experience. Do you think it’s rational or desirable to try to force ourself to fit a mould created by someone else?

It’s perfectly normal, in fact noble, to try to desire to be good enough for someone, be it family, parents, partner or children. But one need to realise that you cant make everyone happy.

Sometimes this feeling of not being good enough makes us question our self-worth and affects our self-esteem. Social-media is one of the culprits to be blamed for this self-doubt. That perfect world is just in the pictures. Everyone has issues. Every couple has fights or self-doubt. No one can always be good enough for anyone.

Sometimes the real reason behind this feeling is our ruthless inner critic and negative self-talk. Replacing it with positive talk and reaffirmations can help.

In healthy relationships, communication with the partner is the key to resolving this feeling.

At end of the day one need to see that nothing is in black or white. We’re all in shades of gray. Thus, we can’t always be good enough for our loved ones. We have our good or not so good moments. It’s the feeling that you want to be good enough that matters. That already makes you an amazing person.

@FerineMusings

Strengths:

1. You have included lots of the keywords.

2. You have avoided giving direct advice.

3. I like that you opened with a question to make the reader reflect on their own life.

Tip:

Try to include a personal anecdote.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Answer: Almost everyone has felt like they are not good enough for someone at some point in their lives. It may seem that are a better person than you in different aspects, and you may begin to compare yourself to them. Our inner critic gives us different reasons why we do not deserve to be with that person, and sometimes this may be due to past trauma that has resulted to a low self-esteem.

As a child growing up, our parents may have compared us to other people's children, or we may have had a partner who always pointed out our flaws, sometimes it may even be the influence of social media. Social media tends to show people who have amazing lives, who have achieved things we never have. This can bring down a person's self-worth.

Mark Twain once said, "The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself''. While it is simply human to give into self-doubt and indulge in negative self-talk sometimes, it is important to remember that the only person who is always going to be there, is you.

A simple exercise would be to look around you, and list the strengths of those you love or care about. Imagine them saying they are not good enough for you, and repeat the response you would say to them to yourself. We are usually kinder to other people than we are to ourselves. By replacing the negative voice in your head with self-love, you will realize that simply because you exist, you are good enough.

Here is a blog where the writer shares her personal experiences of not feeling good enough, and how they overcome that:

https://tinybuddha.com/blog/7-things-to-remember-when-you-think-youre-not-good-enough/

@MyNameIsNicole

I liked how you have used personal anecdotes and quotes to strengthen your answer. It made your answer more complete and relatable. You did a good job writing it :)

You can try including more keywords in your answer by revising your present answer.

@MyNameIsNicole

Really great job on using your active listening skills to demonstrate empathy in your response. I also like how you included actual tips to help the asker. Lastly, it seems like you've incorporated many provided keywords, great job on that!

😊

@SoulfullyAButterfly Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

Not feeling good enough for someone, is something many of us has went through our whole life. Having this constant nagging feeling of our inner critic makes us keep on focusing on our negative self talk, instead of having a good time with our loved ones. Usually our feelings of inadequacy stems from having in having low self worth and self-esteem which results in self doubt and lack of self-confidence.

The good news out of this is that, anyone can overcome this feeling. The first step, albeit a hard one, is to find the real reason of your emotion. Not having a healthy relationship with our family or other family members when we were children is usually a common reason for having low self worth and confidence in ourself. The best way to unravel the reason is investing in therapy, as it can help you figure out the why's of your feelings, and then find a solution to overcome it.

Studies have shown that overuse of Social Media is linked with insecurity and lowered self-worth. Which shows that avoiding social media, or using it at the optimal level is a great solution to overcome our feelings of inadequacy. For us human beings, social comparison is a common happenstance that takes place in every culture. The often picture perfect lifestyle shown in social media can lower your confidence, as you get unconsciously dragged into an online peer pressure where you have to strive for something beyond your level to get accepted by many.

Practicing self love, is a crucial step to cross, whilst intending to get over our fear of never being enough. Affirmations, having an open minded communication with your Partner or loved ones about your feelings instead of suppressing them, journaling, etc. , are notable methods to practice self love. Not matter where you're from and what you have went through, you are an amazing person that's capable of great things. Therefore, its better to focus on becoming a better person instead on the emotion that makes you feel bad about yourself.

Now that all these are read and understood, its worthy to note that the entire process can't be accomplished in a single day it takes self awareness and a paramount of patience to overcome the habit of our negative voice. This, however shouldn't demotivate you .Because at the end of the day, the person who spends the rest of the time with yourself, is you. That's all the more reason to love and treat yourself better, which includes not being harsh on ourself. As that is the right thing to do.

Good luck !

@blissfulForest7074

Hi!! Great job on the response.

Three things I loved:

• You offered a variety of solutions that could apply to many different situations.
• You emphasized that self-love is a process that doesn't happen in a single day, which is motivating for those who might expect instant results.
• You used collective phrasing, which highlights your empathy and understanding.

Something you could work on:

• Many people don't have the means to invest in therapy. While it may be the best solution, offer alternatives so that those without access don't feel left out.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day.

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Before judging yourself blindly , first step is to find the root cause of this problem.

This kind of thinking stems from the childhood where a person is overly criticized by their parents or family members and never been appreciated. So, the person never learnt to established a healthy level of self confidence.

Over the time, they keep on self doubting and this affects other areas of your life as well like in relationships, their self-esteem, work etc.

Now how can we model such kind of negative self-talk ?

> Take external help like therapy, sometimes its good to learn to see things from different perspective and a therapist can guide you to shift the perspective to a healthier side which helps you to become a better person.

> Identify the areas where you feel you are less confident and work on it. I have learnt this from my own experience, every time I overcome a challenge its boosted my self confidence to a great extent.

> Learn to do things which makes you happy. Another best way to boost your self esteem is to do things which makes you happy and fulfilled.

> Always remember before trying to have healthy relationship with others, first you need to have a healthy relationship with yourself. Know your self-worth and prioritize your well being first. If you are not happy with yourself , then how can you keep others happy. Your inner joy and peace reflects in the outside world.

> Most important point above all, self-love is the key to all so accept who you are and learn to love all of you. Trust yourself that you are an amazing person.

We all have inner-critic but you need to learn a till what extent you are going to listen to that voice.

At the end of the day, we all are human beings so go easy on yourself. Its okay to make mistakes and its a best way to learn things.

@NotFound20

Hi NotFound20! Thank you for your response to this step of the CDM, it was great to read your response!

Article Strengths:

> You wrote 322 words total, great work on writing such a full and informative paragraph!

> You gave a large range of different ideas for managing negative self-talk that would be helpful for a large range of people.

> You included 17 keywords, great work on making your writing so optimised to the topic!

Constructive Feedback:

> There were a few grammatical errors in your writing, such as the hyphens between words such as self-doubt and self-confidence.

> It would be great to see you add an anecdote/ story to add a personal touch to your writing.

> Perhaps rephrasing some sentences could help the article to feel less like advice and add more empathy to your writing, by validating readers.

Overall, it was great to read your article, and you showed a great range of unique ideas to manage the feeling of not being good enough for someone.

Congratulations on completing this step of CDM. Please feel free to pm me anytime if you ever have any questions! :)

- Izzy

When I was younger, I had a best friend who I thought was perfect. She always got the best grades, excelled in sports, and was well-liked by everyone she met. Compared to her, I felt worthless. I saw all of her great achievements, and my brain decided that because I could never be as "good" as her, I wasn't even worthy enough to be her friend.

By comparing myself to her all the time, my self-esteem and self-worth suffered. I was unable to see the great things I offered to the world--like my sense of humor, or my passion for writing. My inner critic reduced the power of my positive qualities by placing them against an impossible standard.

And unfortunately, my story isn't unique! So many people feel that they'll never measure up--whether its a long-term relationship with romantic partner, children under the pressure of their parents or other family members, or even strangers on social media. As human beings, we are programmed to pit ourselves against those that surround us.

But the good news is, it doesn't have to be that way. Here are three things that helped me, and maybe they can help you too! <3

- First, realize that those that the people we compare ourselves to often share the same self-doubt that we do. The friend I mentioned earlier opened up to me about how she had to constantly be "perfect" in order to keep up with the expectations placed upon her by her family, and her mental health suffered because of it. I never realized that she was dealing with the exact same cycles of negative self-talk that I was. It helped me put things into perspective.

-Second, challenge the thoughts of self-doubt as they enter your brain. Too often, we automatically accept critical thoughts as reality, when that might not even be the case. If your inner voice says, "you're not smart enough for them" or "you will never be pretty enough for them"--question that thought. Where is it coming from? Is it based in fact, or are feelings clouding your view of the truth?

- Third, recognize what makes you an amazing person, because you are. The first step towards self-love is acknowledging and cherishing the great qualities and talents you bring to this world. Because our brains automatically dwell on our more "undesirable" qualities, it's vital that we take the time to compliment ourselves on what we do right. You are worthy of love, and the first person you have to feel good enough for is yourself.

@ItsRenee

Hi Renee! Thank you for your response to this step of the CDM, it was so nice to read your response!

Article Strengths:

> It was great to see how you incorporated a personal anecdote into your writing, which really helped to make it feel engaging and personal.

> Your tone was always empathetic throughout the writing, and was clear and flowing to read.

> You included 17/30 keywords, great work on creating such an optimised piece of writing!

Constructive Feedback:

> It would be great to see you perhaps include some sources or links for further reading.

> There were a few minor grammatical errors, for example, ' its a long-term relationship with romantic partner'.

Overall, your article was so great to read, and adding in your own personal experiences and ideas about the topic really helped to make your writing feel special.

Congratulations on completing this step of CDM. Please feel free to pm me anytime if you ever have any questions! :)

- Izzy

@ItsRenee

Hi there :D I enjoyed reading your entry! You did very well following the guidelines of a 100-word minimum, use of keywords use of professional and appropriate language, empathy, and adding your own personal anecdote using tips or approaches based on your own experience without giving direct advice.

The only point I didn't notice addressed in your response was "• Consider verifying the information or facts through at least 2 reliable sources." But you did very well relating your own experience as an example 😌

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Throughout our journeys as human beings, our self-esteem and self-worth are influenced by the communication and opinions we receive from our parents, family members, less than healthy relationships with partners, and social media. American actress, singer and dancer Judy Garland once said: "Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second rate version of somebody else." 🌷 Being yourself and remaining true to who you are is more than enough; it is the best version of yourself. It is our own unique light. It's often that our inner critic falls into a cycle of negative self talk and self doubt. When feeling that you are not good enough for someone, this is only the voice of our inner critic attacking our self-confidence. The best way to cope through these emotions is to know that being authentic is more than enough. It may not always be accepted, but it does not mean it is not good enough. At the end of the day, it does not make you any less of an amazing person if someone is not the right match. Great things and the right things will come to you when remaining true to yourself, this is more than enough ✨️ Good luck with your movements forward, keep in mind that therapy can also provide beneficial information and the best support possible 💙

Provided Keywords: parents, partner, self-esteem, social media, self-worth, good news, best way, first step, human beings, children, therapy, self-love, family members, better person, good time, good luck, inner critic, self-doubt, negative self-talk, real reason, whole life, amazing person, self-confidence, voice, right thing, healthy relationship, great things, information, communication, end of the day

@SirenOfSerenity

I enjoyed reading your post.

1. The emojis brought a little smile to my face and immediately put me at ease.

2. It felt relatable and like you have been in the person's shoes.

3. The encouraging statements turned the fear into encouragement at the end.

4. The quote was a nice touch as well

This is a great example. Thanks for sharing your words with the team!

@sweetOcean1415

I just realized the photo isn't here :( https://www.canva.com/design/DAFE1PIiLjI/e-DB5KHyZzUMJLGwIm535g/view?utm_content=DAFE1PIiLjI&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link&utm_source=homepage_design_menu

@SirenOfSerenity

Hi Serenity! Thank you for your response to this step of the CDM, it was awesome to read your paragraph!

Article Strengths:

> You included 23 / 30 keywords, great work on creating such an optimised piece of writing.

> Including the quote really helped your writing to feel personal and relatable.

> You wrote in a positive and empathetic tone which felt encouraging and supportive to read.

Constructive Feedback:

> You could include a few sources to back up your writing and provide further reading.

> Sometimes your writing felt a bit opinionated, such as 'the best way...is', which changed the tone of your writing a little.

Overall, it was great to read your writing, and including the quote and personal touches really made your paragraph great!

Congratulations on completing this step of CDM. Please feel free to pm anytime if you ever have any questions! :)

- Izzy

@Izzy274

Thank you very much, I will keep note of the constructive feedback!

@SirenOfSerenity

I absolutely loved reading your post, Siren!

1. The quite from Judy Garland brought a smile to my face, as it feels very relatable.
2. Overall, the answer is very positively motivated
3. I really enjoyed the consistent sense of encouragement to take steps forward in being authentically ourselves.

My only possible pointer would be to break up the text a bit more. The emojis work beautifully, but breaking it down a little bit more into multiple paragraphs may make it easier to read in general.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: How do paper bags help with panic attacks?

Sometimes when you experience anxiety or panic, your breathing gets out of control. This can lead to lightheadedness, dizziness, or shortness of breath. One way to help calm down is to breathe into a paper bag. Breathing into a paper bag helps to regulate your breathing so that you don't over-breathe during an anxiety or panic attack.

A few other things can help reduce anxiety or boost your oxygen levels when you're feeling stressed or panicked. One of these remedies is deep belly breathing. You can do this by lying down on a sofa, bed, or floor. Another is laying your head down between your knees. Another is holding your breath for 10 to 15 seconds. You can also do deep breathing exercises, like air whistling and deep breathing in and smelling an essential oil or a scent you like. And finally, breathing slowly into your own cupped hands can be very calming.

I have found it helpful to redirect my thoughts to focus on something that makes me happy. I love going to the spa, and I say the word SPAAAAAA as I breathe out during a panic attack.

Here is a great article I found on the topic. https://connect.uclahealth.org/2020/09/16/breathing-into-a-paper-bag-can-calm-anxiety-attack/

Keywords: breathing, deep breathing, oxygen, panic, paper bag, dizzy, air, exercise, calming, stressed, fresh air, smell

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

@YellowButton223

Hi Yellow! Thank you for your response to this step of the CDM, it was so insightful to read your response!

Article Strengths:

> You included 17/ 30 keywords which made your response super optimised!

> You wrote 346 words and 1950 characters, your article was super detailed and had lots of important information :).

> You gave a great range of tips and ideas that were helpful for a range of scenarios and explained these in a really clear way.

Constructive Feedback:

> It would be awesome to see you include sources to back up your ideas and add credibility to your writing.

> It would be great if you could expand on your personal experiences even more to add more reliability to your writing.

Overall, your article was written in a really empathetic way with such a great range of ideas :).

Congratulations on completing this step of CDM. Please feel free to pm me anytime if you ever have any questions! :)

- Izzy

@YellowButton223

I am very impressed by your answer!💜

3 Things I think you did well are:

- You used many (many!) keywords.

- You provided the reader with multiple suggestions to think about or choose from.

- You made a point to not give direct advice.

1 suggestion:

- You could link or site references/sources to all of the great information you provided.

I think you did a great job💜

My answer to the question 💜

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling like you are not good enough right now 😔. Negative self-talk and self-doubt are common struggles among nearly everyone. Please know that you are SO not alone in feeling this way.

It is easy to see others in our lives or on social media and their seemingly perfect lives and to judge ourselves harshly for not measuring up. Our self-esteem and self-worth is shattered when we do this, and the comparisons are not even fair when we really think about it.

Even looking at our partners or children, our family members or close friends - do we really know everything about them? There are so many struggles that we don't see, even in those we are closest with. People may be struggling at home, at work, or in their relationships. They may have insecurities, trauma, or other invisible mental battles we so often face alone in the hidden places of our minds.

We are all human. Every one of us. And being human comes with imperfection. But it also comes with inherent value.

You are an amazing person and you have value to this world. Sure, you are imperfect. You struggle. You doubt yourself and fall into the comparison trap. So do I. So do all of us, I think.

But having imperfections doesn't make you less than anyone else. It doesn't make you less valuable or less worthy… or less anything. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that this person that you feel is better than you has insecurities of his or her own.

So my answer to your question - what should I do if I am not good enough for someone? My answer for you - and for all of us is this: realize that you are. You are good enough. Because it's the truth.

💜💜💜

@432Isaiah

Hi Isaiah! Thank you for your response to this step of the CDM, it was so great to read your writing!

Article Strengths:

> Your article was super empathetic throughout, and the positive affirmations you used made your writing relatable and comforting.

> You wrote 26 sentences, massively going over the requirements of 8 sentences.

> The way you finished your writing by going back to the original question helped to conclude it in a really great way.

Constructive Feedback:

> You included 9/30 keywords, It would be great to see you include even more to make your writing more optimised.

> It would be awesome to see you include some sources for further reading :).

Overall, your article was amazing to read, and the amount of empathy and validation you included really helped it to stand out.

Congratulations on completing this step of CDM. Please feel free to pm anytime if you ever have any questions! :)

- Izzy

@Izzy274. Thank you so much for your feedback and encouragement 💜

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

When we feel like we’re not good enough for someone, one of the first steps that can be taken is to examine our own self-worth. What is our inner critic saying about us when we think about the other person, be it family members or someone we’re in a relationship with? Is our inner critic saying things that cause self-doubt?

I have good news for you. Once we examine how our inner critic is speaking, if we find that there is a high amount of negative self-talk, we can sit with those thoughts and examine them for cognitive distortions and where the root of the issue really sits. Perhaps we may be catastrophizing, thinking that the worst will happen because we feel that we are not good enough. Perhaps we may be experiencing mental filtering, where we focus too strongly on the negative aspects of a situation, or disqualify the positives by thinking they’re some sort of fluke or simply a matter of luck.

When we take the time to sit and look at the experience as a whole, we give ourselves the space to realize what an amazing person we are. Challenging our cognitive distortions can help boost our self-confidence, and give us a voice, bringing about positive change toward a healthy relationship.

At the end of the day, it is up to us to figure out where our hearts lie, and challenging any cognitive distortions that may exist surrounding a relationship is just one step to take on the road toward a brighter future.

@specialSoul8273

Wow, I’m impressed! CBT for the win!

Three strengths,

1) easy to apply, easy to understand.

2) educational - cognitive distortions are very helpful to learn how to manage and adjust. Including examples of two major ones that we are prone to was great to read and inspiring.

3) positive - I felt motivated to learn more about cognitive distortions and how to learn to recognize them in my own thinking.

What to work on?

1) Reference site for CBT or Cognitive Distortions

2) Reference to CBT therapy/ therapists that are free free or affordable.

Thank you so much!